| "I'm really just not interested.."
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:52:57 PM | I realize I have trouble saying these words and hurting someone's feelings.
I have a pregnant coworker.
I'm honestly NOT interested in her expanding waistline and everything that goes along with it.
I don't care to see pictures of taken via sono-camera-gram.
I think she just thinks.. I don' know.. I'm her best friend, or her husband. I'm neither.
I am usually very polite and listen to what people want to share.. as I'd like to be offered the same courtesy when I"m babbling about whatever is on my mind.
But if I have to hear about her pregnancy one more time...
Do I just grin and bear it?
Do I say something? If so what and how?
I have to work with the girl and like to keep my environment pleasant.
Marius | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:00:01 PM | The next time she brings it up simply ask her this:
you know I'm a guy right?
when she looks at you puzzled you can then expand on that question by pointing out that while you enjoy conversing with her you really are not interested in hearing about her pregnancy other than what she has when she finally gives birth.
Some women get extremely excited about getting married and having babies. They will go on and on about it without realizing that everyone else is not as interested.
Good luck!
ETA: you do realize that she thinks of you as a gal pal right? LOL | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:04:50 PM | | Offer to go get her some water.. and hopefully she will need to pee all day long as prego woman often do. Might keep her out of your hair. | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:09:55 PM |
Some women get extremely excited about getting married and having babies. They will go on and on about it without realizing that everyone else is not as interested.
I understand that expectant mothers are excited, thrilled, etc.
But what makes them think that everyone is interested?
I have had several friends get pregnant and have babies.
Several of them pulled this with me.
Assuming I would want to go to baby showers,
or want to go to kid birthday parties, etc...
I am happy for them, and for the joys of parenthood.
It's awesome for them.
But they act disappointed and sad if I don't want to go to those things.
I wonder if maybe it's because they consider that if we are friends, that I
will automatically share this new interest with them? Or empathize with their
excitement? Or is it just hormonal? Or just poor understanding of the issues?
I know that some people at work are interested in my hobbies.
But I can also tell if people are bored, or not interested.
So I don't invite all my co-workers to my parties,
or talk to them about my life. Only the ones who
express an interest. So if I was having a baby,
I would only talk about it to other parents,
or people who expressed an interest in the topic...
Can any of the mothers on here explain it to us? | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:11:43 PM | | Just wait til the thing is born! LOL!!! Yes breeders (especially women) think that their babies are as special to everyone in the world as it is to them. | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:11:58 PM | I see your dilemma -- I've had people at work regale me with grisly details of their gall bladder surgeries and stories of passing kidney stones, all to my horror. But those are very different from a burgeoning life growing within a woman, so...
I think you're stuck, honestly. Just smile, mumble something polite, and get the hell away as soon as you can.
Yeah, people here might say, "Just tell her!" but they don't have to work in the same office with her...and all the other mothers or mothers-to-be that will hate your guts for shutting her down.
Suck it up and deal. Sorry, that's all I got for you.
But they act disappointed and sad if I don't want to go to those things. I wonder if maybe it's because they consider that if we are friends, that I will automatically share this new interest with them?
Yes. They do. Just as if they were getting married or experiencing any other life-altering event. | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:14:40 PM | Can any of the mothers on here explain it to us?
I already did. She is so excited she does not realize that everyone else is not as excited or interested.
Her thinking is: How can you not be! They are caught up in their excitement and lose the ability to read the cues others give off when they are not interested.
Some other examples are these:
when they meet a new guy (they can drive everyone nuts with this one)
when they get a new job
when they get married
when they get divorced
when they get pregnant
when their child takes the first step
when their child says their first word
crawls for the first time, gets a tooth, first hair cut...
should I continue?
Its a desire to share their excitement. They really don't realize they are bombarding you with information that you really don't care about. That is why you have to be direct, yet gentle, and tell her that you are not interested. | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:18:19 PM | I've perfected the art of looking queasy when they start talking about all the pregnancy related things...... eeeeesh......
But hey, start looking forward to all the funny poopy stories when the baby is born..... it's just swell.....the stories don't stop at the birth. ....... yay.
Another thing to do is to always carry a paper or folder in your hand and have a well-timed meeting or appointment to go to... | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:20:03 PM | | I feel for you! Put your headphones and ignore her--works for me with all the bores/boors down at work. This woman is a bore; it's not gender-related. Men can be just as tiresome about whatever they find fascinating and lifechanging that you find dull. It won't get better--as soon as she pops it out, she'll be telling you how smart it is--it burped at 2 weeks old! and look how it's the cutest baby in the world!! (even tho to you it look slike every other baby you've ever seen) | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:26:38 PM | Just wait til the thing is born! LOL!!! Yes breeders (especially women) think that their babies are as special to everyone in the world as it is to them.
The bad thing is.. after the baby is born. If he still talks to her she may bring the baby in! The problem with this is, it may be a fugly baby. I'm sure he doesn't want to be put into a position like that. For some reason every woman thinks every baby is "cute". I've seen some ugly babies. You've seen the Seinfeld episode right? | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:30:23 PM |
The bad thing is.. after the baby is born. If he still talks to her she may bring the baby in! The problem with this is, it may be a fugly baby. I'm sure he doesn't want to be put into a position like that. For some reason every woman thinks every baby is "cute". I've seen some ugly babies. You've seen the Seinfeld episode right?
It's funny that you have brought that up. I was thinking maybe I should steal a line from a cartoonist who said that all babies look like Winston Churchill to me.
/DEATH STARE | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:02:25 PM | | These people don't realize how annoying they are. They think that just because they think their kids are the cutest and most precious things on the face of the planet that everyone else will as well. As for pregnant women , ugh! talk about annoying. I think they cease to be able to discuss anything or even think of anything else but baby related things. | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/8/2008 11:01:26 PM | marius, just sit her down and have a talk with her. talk to her carefully since most pregnant women tend to get upset easily. let her know that as a co-worker she's a good person (nice person) and you're sure that she's going to be a good mother as well. let her know that with all honesty and respect you're not interested in her pregnancy just as some other single men wouldn't be.
a pregnant woman there's excitement, joy, and all of the other happiness anyone can think of. it's a maternal thing to share her excitement with others not knowing that there are some that don't really care.
pretty much just like you said.....express it to others that show an interest, not to those who don't.
other than that i don't know what else to say? | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/8/2008 11:15:27 PM | Go to a hunting or trapping website and download a bunch of pictures for her. I suggest starting with how to field dress a deer, or how to skin a mink for the fur trade.
You'll have something to share with her then. | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/9/2008 2:45:57 AM | Say eeewww gross!!!
I am a woman and I hate hearing about all that baby crap. Do women lose their freakin' minds when they get pregnant and have children? Do they seriously think that the rest of us give a sh*t about their kid? | |
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medana
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Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 17 | |
| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:39:34 AM | | when she offers to show u stuff just say u'll see it later, that u have something to do. it's a subtle message she most likely will get. if u say that 'u know im a guy, right' thing, someone above mentioned, is bound to work, and nicely done, w/o hard feelings | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/9/2008 5:05:41 AM |
when she offers to show u stuff just say u'll see it later, that u have something to do. it's a subtle message she most likely will get.
Or not get. But this is what I would do, if I were young again and starting from the bottom. This is the workplace, right? I have to come here and work; don't really have much choice. I don't believe the Company is paying me to be a captive audience, or paying others to provide me with diversions. If so, then there's too much money floating around, and this is Fantasyland. | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:39:31 AM | lowacapella has the right idea. You could tell her in painful detail about a really nasty past (real or imaginary!) medical condition of your own. Something involving medical leeches, flesh-eating bacteria, or medical maggots usually does the trick. Offer to show her pictures (available on most medical web sites).
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/9/2008 9:03:37 AM |
Go to a hunting or trapping website and download a bunch of pictures for her. I suggest starting with how to field dress a deer, or how to skin a mink for the fur trade.
You'll have something to share with her then.
lowacapella has the right idea. You could tell her in painful detail about a really nasty past (real or imaginary!) medical condition of your own. Something involving medical leeches, flesh-eating bacteria, or medical maggots usually does the trick. Offer to show her pictures (available on most medical web sites).
You know what? I think you guys just gave me a wicked idea. She knows I'm facinated with piercings, (Look at my pics). Maybe I should show her pics of my Price Albert & Ampallang piercings. 
Marius | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/9/2008 2:53:56 PM | Yep, you can surely choose to do something mean-spirited that will alienate your pregnant colleague, who really hasn't done anything malicious to you, and possibly the rest of the office when they hear about it.
That is, of course, your choice. | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/9/2008 3:33:36 PM | Pregnant women tend to obsess over their impending babyage. There's actually a scientific term for it, but it happens to almost all of them.
Women get tired of it as much as men. lol.
Ya just gotta smile and nod and try to get away ASAP. Or you could say you have a deadline (or what-have-you) and run away. Saying, "That's great!" and turning around and walking away tends to effectively end a conversation. | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/9/2008 3:39:04 PM | Here's how I deal with a situation like this. Not necessarily babies but just anyone that continually yaks to me about something that I care nothing about. When she is talking to you about the baby have a conversation back to her about something completely different but that is relevant in your life. Here is an example:
Her: Wow, I went to the doctor and got a sonogram this weekend.
You: I went to a Gwar concert this weekend.
Her: It was so cool to see the baby.
You: It was so cool to see all these dudes dressed up in costumes playing death metal.
Her: I am really scared about birthin' babies.
You: I got squirted with blood at the concert, turns out, not that bad.
Her: I can't wait until the baby is born.
You: I had to take 2 showers to get all that crap off me. | |
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| I'm really just not interested..
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:00:42 PM | With some luck OP the same fortune may befall you some day. Someday you'll get married, have a baby, be proud of your son / daughter and ramble on and on about how wonderful these things are.
Let her enjoy her happiness, don't rain on her parade. Just smile and be patient and think of how you'll bore the heck out of some innocent person someday. If anything, just say that she might save 'gory' details (such as sonogram photos) for her lady friends. | |
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