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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?      Home login  
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 WNYNiceLatinGuy
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 1
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I have to admit I am guilty as any other guy of giving countless women the quick check out glance in my adult life. I became especially conscious of this when I moved to NYC and then to Chicago in my early 20s and started riding the subway system daily. Being in a train car that was my ritual to glance at all the women – and take all the views in, I would even get the occasional smile right back at me. Then I started noticing the other men basically doing the same thing especially when there was a woman in the subway car showing some leg then heads really started to turn. I noticed that some guys would look once and that was basically it (usually the readers), others would glance back every couple of minutes always aware of the woman in the skirt or dress and finally there was usually one or two guys that would keep the stare on the entire time – probably the ones women would consider a freak or weirdo.

I asked myself what was the point of all this staring – there was no intent or chance of going up to any of these women in this kind of a setting and yet we as men seem to have this relentless urge to look even when it doesn’t make much sense – what is the point of checking out a married women. I guess the obvious answer is that as heterosexual men and our genetic makeup we are attracted to women and so it is the natural thing to do.

My last couple of years in Chicago I knew I could use my 40 minute commute time more efficiently and I would typically burry my face in a paper or book but the urge to look when I heard the steps of what obviously came from a woman’s heel enter the subway car was still there and it felt like a true act of self discipline/control not to look up. My father tells me this “fascination” all goes away with age and maturity but I am not so sure – we’ll see.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 2
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:42:44 AM
It is human nature to "people watch". Women enjoy looking ("checking out") men as well. Whether it's their look, attire or how he carries himself. Very appealing to the eyes!! = EYE CANDY..........................
 **Tee**
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 3
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:44:07 AM
Hey, don't kid yourself, its not just men that look, we just don't drool when we do it...
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 4
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Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:44:49 AM
You know what?! 'People watching' can be really interesting and when you find someone who attracts your attention - even better - eye candy! When I see someone who is easy on the eyes it kinda makes ya smile and they smile back! I have even told people if I find them attractive! I'm forward like that! I think we all do it - men and women alike! I find people intriguing and I like to make up little scenario's in my head about who they might be and what thier life may be like!! So OP I think you are not alone!
 passionteman
Joined: 3/7/2005
Msg: 5
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:45:07 AM
Something/someone attractive always catches the eye.
 CoyotePrince
Joined: 11/2/2007
Msg: 6
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 9:11:38 AM
LOL... I've had to train myself not to check out women all the time, I have a SO and the funny thing is that my SO doesn't really care. She actually points out other really attractive women to me. I've asked her why she does that and she just shrugs and says its just looking(part of me always thinks its some sort of test or something lol). I've always been told its wrong to check out other women when your with another woman. Makes sence, you know, being sensitive and all. Maybe its hard wired in us, but I guess it has to happen or people wouldn't ever really get together. I mean you usually have to be physically attracted to a person to iniciate anything more than a look right?
 maggie1971
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 7
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 9:43:12 AM
I know that it is normal to look ,..but sometimes I do have a problem with my dude looking. Sometimes he has a really good look, and you catch this happening and the girl looks at you with that " your man is checking me out,haha".Now that hurts my feelings and makes me feel like shit .
 DDay555
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 8
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Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 9:44:46 AM
There's nothing wrong with reading the whole menu if you're on a diet. Just don't be rude about it and do the "Swivel Head" when you're out with someone.
 dknickerbocker
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 9
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 9:52:07 AM
Men's sexuality is highly visual...... it is the product of thousands of year of evolution... keeps the species alive.... in the end we are no different than other animals.....

From a biological perspective it is the reason men like porn much more so than woman(not that women can't like porn) also the reason men are more prone to cheat....
 kiddingmyself
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 10
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:19:29 AM
Women are like flowers and are meant to noticed, the lines, the smell and the awesome way they move but it doesn't mean you can pluck them all.

Way to go nature, eye candy for the soul!
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 11
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:26:58 AM
Because its pretty immature; Just to see guys stare down girls or girls doing the same to guys is pretty ridiculous and not very classy.

I think whats funny is high school and college people think its cool to be so aggressive and sleazy but its pretty lame and classless.

A couple of months ago a young girl did that to me in a club and then walked over to me; she was very pretty and I'm sure wasnt used to be turned down, but she asked what I was thinking. I told her I thought it was pretty classless to stare down someone. She got embarrassed and walked away.

I agree, If I like someone I talk to them and ask them out. I dont stare at their chest or butt and drool. Dogs do that.
 simpleton15
Joined: 1/16/2007
Msg: 12
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Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:42:52 AM
But you do , in your own special way. It's only natural.
 Blueskies123
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 13
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:59:10 AM
This thread is spooky..

I've recently felt really uncomfortable travelling on the London Underground..men staring, gawping, puffing out their chests, standing as close as possible, alomost dancing aronnd me..it doesn't happen anywhere quite like on the tube.
And it's really quite imtimidating when you are on your own.

I'm not usually at all worried travelling alone but guys on teh tube do make me feel uncomfortable.

I guess it's inbuilt..and no..I don't think it goes away with age either.
 CoyotePrince
Joined: 11/2/2007
Msg: 14
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 12:22:10 PM
I have friends that get freaked out by guys doing that too(not like we have a tube, lots of buses though :P) ...Personally I think even if its biological or because were "animals" , as an intilligent individual I can rise above my base instincts to 'snort and paw' around women and be civilized.
 ImJustMeKevin
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 15
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Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 12:32:58 PM
Maybe just a quick glance to admire gods handy-work. On ocaission a followup glance to admire the Ladies fashion/makeup sense and pride in her own appearance. I'm pretty well controlled if my SO is anywhere in the same city as I am I will squelch the natural inclination to have a quick peak. Momma didn't raise no fool after all......

Kevin
 Domo arigato Mr. Roboto
Joined: 12/22/2007
Msg: 16
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 1:52:01 PM
for starters men have a reputation for looking more probably because women show more flesh in public

even in summer, guys are restricted to shorts and t shirts but ladies frequently strip to the bare minimals

if attractive guys walked around in speedos all the time then im sure hed gets lots of looks from the ladies too

Its human nature to instinctively look at things that are sexually appealing to us

However youre right in thinking that the lady in a short skirt has been stared at all day by every guy whos seen her

its up to you whether you glance or stare.

sometimes i glance, othertimes i intentionally ignore because i know that every other guys looking.

The starers are mostly saving up the image for the spank bank later on.

But like the OP said, what exactly do guys things going to happen by looking? That theyre going to fall hopelessly in love with you? The 6,456 guy to have stared at her ass that day?

no, of course not so dont demean yourself by staring or even glancing at her.

To quote seinfeld "Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun, you don't stare at it. It's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away."
 Ask Me Anything
Joined: 3/29/2007
Msg: 17
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Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 2:11:36 PM
Said with my most mischeivous smile:

Babe, how am I supposed to remember that you are the most beautiful girl in the world, if I can't look at the ugly ones?
 CoyotePrince
Joined: 11/2/2007
Msg: 18
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 2:17:30 PM

Wow...thats so corny it may work! Tuck that away in the ol'excuse bin
 iamasiam
Joined: 2/16/2007
Msg: 19
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Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 3:47:32 PM
I guess some guys know how to look and some don't. Some guys look to appreciate female beauty and some guys look out of some "desperation". It is the latter that freaks out women



I've recently felt really uncomfortable travelling on the London Underground..men staring, gawping, puffing out their chests, standing as close as possible, alomost dancing aronnd me..it doesn't happen anywhere quite like on the tube.
And it's really quite imtimidating when you are on your own.


That explains why the guys who know how to look rarely get a smile of acknowledgement back these days. If is always the few who spoil the fun.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 20
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Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:22:43 PM
Yes we are programed to look. I'm upfront and honest with any woman I date ... I am gonna look at women, I can't help it, they are pretty and I like to look at pretty things. And I am a huge flirt. That's why any woman who goes out with me on a date pretty much has to be confident in herself And quite simply anyone who doesn't like how I am can go take a flying leap, because this is one thing I wouldn't change about myself, even if I could.
 OilCompanyWhore
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 21
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:38:03 PM
This is a great thread. As of late I have started riding the train here in Calgary and there is an abundance of beautiful creatures that frequent as well.

I really feel for the lady who is made feel uncomfortable on the london train. Speak up ma'am. A comment like "dream on" is very painful to a male ego.

However I try to be very respectful when I see a particular woman who really cathes my attention. A look straight to the eyes with a genuine smile will usually be reciprocated. I really feel good when I can make a woman smile. However weather or not they do smile I think it's rude to gawk relentlessly and it's actually a little uncomfortable for women. So guys enjoy the view and be respectful and ladies remember with one flash of those pearly whites you may just make a guys day.

I do have one question my own though. Every now and then when I get a really flirty smile I'm apt grin in my own flirty way and blatantly raise my eyes all the way down and all the way back up to the eyes.

Ok that last paragraph was totally fictionally as I just never had the balls, but I have thought about it. How would you women out there feel about that? Keeping in mind that it was coming from someone you just flashed your flirty grin.
 lhiannanshee
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 22
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:19:51 PM
I can't help but check out men AND women constantly. It takes skill not to do it in a totally pervy way.

Even though I'm guilty of doing it myself, sometimes I get hella annoyed when I catch my man overtly checking out another woman. I guess I like having my mans eyes on me, and its just embarrassing to see him drooling over some chick.... or something. I haven't quite figured that all out yet. Can't fight nature :)
 Solitudes
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 23
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 10:23:18 PM
I check out everyone, I gotta see who is checking me out. YEAH!!!!!!!!
 Rustmouse2000
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 24
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:04:51 PM
It's a very common thing, even if a guy is totally committed to a relationship, he still looks. "When you've seen one set of breasts naked, you pretty much want to see them all naked!"

Checking them out is a problem when you're rude about it - if you're ignoring the person you're with to check out someone else's anatomy, you've got issues. Looking, however, is natural and normal!

When you're with someone, remember that you're with them - and they should be the focus of your attention - the same thing applies with cell phones, other conversations, and listening to what your date is saying - When on a date, be on that date. Save the whistling and staring for when you're out with the guys.
 Blueskies123
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 25
Why do we men have this incessant urge to check women out?
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:19:12 PM
Fun Crazy..if you had already got a smile then your follow up (making sure you held a cheeky grin on your face) wold most probably raise a giggle I would think.

To those who have mentioned about the uncomfortableness...just to point out..the odd glance is fine..I'm talking about those who stare hard and fluff themselves up around you for the entire journey..anything from 5 minutes to 20 minutes...that is too much..and yeah it's a shame that some guys do that.
There's no way I would ever say something to them..you never know what they might do....I just get out of the station as quickly as possible when I get to my stop. When I'm alone and in an area I don't know very well I don't hang around.

Looking is natural for both men and women..but like a few others have said..have respect for who you are with and don't gawp!!
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