| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 10:19:55 AM | Okay, so my GF and I have been together for 8 Months now and we are very happily sexually active (Monogomously) with each other. The topic came up somehow a few weeks ago about clean-up after the "deed". I will go to the bathroom and wash up myself then bring a warm cloth back for her to clean up with. She mentioned this practice disturbed her at first thinking that somehow I felt she was unclean and in a hurry to get cleaned up and get her taste/fluids off me. I was a bit self concious about this the next few times we were together until she assured me that she didn't feel that way anymore and wanted me to do what I was confortable with. We both thought this would be an interesting topic for the forums and to see what others' thoughts would be on the matter. This is in no way a "sticking" point and really is a non-issue to the two of us at this point, just wondered what others thoughts might be.
Kevin | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 10:41:53 AM | | I would likely respond as she did: A little offended(?) or put off at first, but after getting to know you better, accepting that it's just something you do. | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 10:44:53 AM | I have experienced both. I don't find it disturbing one way or the other. I've never felt the need to get up and clean off myself but it doesn't disturb me if a lover does this. I actually find it very sweet if he brings me back a warm cloth. I guess maybe if a man felt the need to scrub in a shower every time I would find it disturbing.  | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 10:50:22 AM | People should be comfortable - wash off, don't wash off - whatever!
If you wash you hands after a delicious and messy BBQ dinner does it mean
you were disgusted by the meal? I don't THINK so! | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 10:50:45 AM | My GF was the one that always wanted to get clean after, I was never offended in the least tbh. In fact we started a whole shower together ritual...which usually ends in us having to take another shower lol  | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 10:51:18 AM | I have always gone and cleaned up on my own or in the shower with my partner. I really dislike laying there feeling dirty all night! I cannot see why a woman (or anyone) would not get up and freshen up!  I wouldn't lay there long enough for someone to feel the need to bring me a cloth! | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:07:04 AM | It all depends on the activity and what is on the agenda afterwards.....
Most, once finished, need a little "down time", to recover, relax, cuddle, and enjoy the experience, as well as maybe a short "nap", to enjoy the euphoric end result....
Once that is completed for one or the both of you, it is always nice to "clean up" some and then lay their together for as long as you both care to.
I am one to get up after relaxing and getting two wash clothes, one for me to spruce up some and then a nice warm one for her to do that same. If she prefers to be up first, then she can do the same for me......
There are, of course, times when you never move at all and just fade away, forgetting time and that whole activity, and other times when you are up quickly because you have things to do, places to go, and people to see...... 
Either way, it is all good, as long as you both agree with what you are doing, and why.....
Just my opinion.......   | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:17:33 AM | | I am on the fence on this one. I can understand someone wanted to get cleaned up afterwards just as much as I can someone wanting to just lay there and cuddle for a little while. Neither one is disturbing, but rather just preference. There are also things to factor into this though. Was protection used or not? If no protection (condoms) were used then it is more of an issue, especially for many new couples to get cleaned off within a reasonable amount of time. Everyone is different and couples normally learn about each others preferences and even have room for change as the comfort level comes into play more. Now if every time the guy or girl jumped up as soon as it was done, no kiss or anything, and had to rush to clean it off, there would be more reason to feel offended. But as I said before, whether it is strictly preference or comfort as time goes on you learn about the person...and when in doubt...ask!!!! | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:34:35 AM | I'm totally with c_deacon on this one!
I really enjoy the aftermath of the whole encounter! It may include a warm washcloth, it may include a shower ... in either case it may lead to another encounter!
Practically speaking ... it's not always possible to lay around ... depending on the time of day and whats to follow!
I think the most important thing is ... as with everything .. be willing to have a conversation about it if the need arises so that neither of you is uncomfortable with the choice to "clean-up afterwards" or not! I would not be disturbed at all ... especially if the approach was non-invasice. Being sensetive to your partners needs and comfort is an important part of every relationship!
~ keepin it real | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 1:22:48 PM | | I would be offended if the guy I was seeing did this. I think it is sexy and part of the passion u just shared and I love to go to sleep like that. If it is the middle of the day then I clean up or shower but if I am in for the nite I leave it . I love smelling my lover on me. | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 1:27:44 PM | It's actually recommended to clean up after sex. Especially after sex with a new person. (Less risk of STD's)
Some people claim it reduces the risk of yeast infections etc...
But in general, a quick wipe and so forth is good as it can freshen up and even make it more fun to start another session. | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 1:36:40 PM | i do something similar, but i give her a sink plunger and a bottle of mouth wash and tell her to sort herself out
I mean honestly, whats wrong with each seperately going into the bathroom and discreetly cleaning themselves up?
im not suprised she got offended with being given a cloth, youre not her mum she doesnt need help in cleaning herself. She can do it all by herself
least not the fact that she probably doesnt want to clean herself in front of you anyway
personally i wouldnt want to see it and i wouldnt want to do it in front of anyone
so yeah in answer to your question, it is a bit disturbing | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 1:46:00 PM | I don't think he's saying that she was offended by him getting a cloth as such but more that he thought that she was dirty.
But then again, I guess it comes down to how comfortable you are with your partner. All about the comfort zone. | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 1:49:16 PM | | I'd have no problem with this and bringing a warm washcloth to your lover is a thoughtful gesture. It would be more offensive for you to clean yourself off and not offer the washcloth. That makes it appear that you don't want 'her' to linger on you but it's okay for 'you' to remain on her. | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 2:03:43 PM | I've always just put a couple of towels within reach of the bed, and when the "deed" is done, wipe off enough that the bed doesn't get gooey and you're laying in it.
Just takes a few seconds, and you can quickly get into the mellow "after time". | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 2:41:42 PM | I've never felt "dirty" from having sex, so I don't have an urge to go and "clean up".
I had an experience with a fella once that kinda hurt me and he's actually the first person that made me even notice or think about the cleaning up stuff, and man, did it suck! It was our first time, and since I'm one of those that makes a bit of a mess, it became very awkward. The moment it ended, he jumped off of me and asked if he could get a shower. (Not just wash off, but a full shower!) I was pretty shocked and actually began to feel "dirty". In those moments at the end, I could tell he was bothered by it, but the jumping off me wanting a shower seemed a bit much to me.
Prior to our encounter, he told me that he'd never been with someone that had the wet ones, so this was a new experience for him. After all that, it was pretty clear that he decided it wasn't for him, and that was cool. I can't be with someone that can't accept that part of me. It stung, tho.
When my husband and I first started having sex, he never did it, well, not like that. But within 15 or so minutes, he'd go wash off. Not in some kind of ritualistic, "my pants are on fire" kind of way, but he'd do it pretty soon. It reminded me of the other fella and made me feel as if that aspect of me turned him off or was hard for him to accept, so eventually, I asked him why he did it. He said it was because it (our mix) was sticky and that when it started drying, it become crusty. After that, I completely understood and never thought about it again. | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 3:36:54 PM | I can't remember the last time I had sex in a bed, let alone somewhere that a washcloth was handy. Hmmm .... wonder if keeping some handy wipes in my wallet would be a good idea  | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 3:47:05 PM | My ex would always go pee afterwards as she said it helped with the lessening of yeast infections etc..
Using a condom every time, I would usually go to the bathroom first and clean up and then she would.. After, we would lay in bed and have our time.. It wasn't at all awkward or bad and at no point do I think it was done to be offensive at all.
S0 the moral of the story is CHILLAX.. No worries ~~ Enjoy the ride | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:00:28 PM |
I will go to the bathroom and wash up myself then bring a warm cloth back for her to clean up with. She mentioned this practice disturbed her at first thinking that somehow I felt she was unclean and in a hurry to get cleaned up and get her taste/fluids off me
I always make it rule not to quickly retreat to the can to remove the Woman jizz off of Me. I could see that affecting a Gal for sure or vice versa I know how I'd feel if She jumped up and ran to the shower afterwards.
So ya a warm wash cloth and a towel is a nice gesture. | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:50:45 PM | Without an exact count, it seems pretty well split 1/3 each agree disagree and or on the fence. She'll get a kick out of your posts, thanks all. Like I say it's a non-issue with the two of us, just curious how others felt about it.
Good point Scruffydude, I'll make sure I don't give that impression to her.
Kevin | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 5:00:13 PM | If it's really late and really good I'll pretty much pass out, as is...
Otherwise.. all the jizz, juice and lubes aren't disturbing. I WILL at least wash my hands so I can light a cig and get a fresh beer without getting my lighter and fridge handle slippery...
I'll light her a cig and get her a beer if she wants... either way. | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 5:22:59 PM | | If it is nighttime then it isn't necessary but if it is in the middle of the day and you have places to go, etc it is a good idea to shower and clean up. I have no problem with a guy showering after wards as I am used to it as my married lover always does it, gotta make sure I have some guy's bodywash though as it wouldn't be good for him to go out smelling like victoria's secret. lol | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 5:51:04 PM | | well i understand where she is coming from. my husband is like that he likes to clean up right after. always have. he feels that way we are clean and feel that way. he's very much into beign a clean person, as am i, however i never rushed off before to clean up. at first i felt ashamed and embrassed about it. but after talking we both realized we took it differently. i actually enjoyed being cleaned up, so after a while it got to being normal, so we still do this every time. i feel it's a perosnal choice. Very good question :) | |
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| Clean-Up afterwards...disturbing???!!!!???
Posted: 6/9/2008 5:57:24 PM | | I couldn't post a response on the other thread but after reading your profile , a couple looking for other couples, I had to say that your lifestyle has some controversy in it too. | |
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