| A Complete Change?
Posted: 6/10/2008 12:06:57 PM | Have you ever thought of just packing up your kids and your boxes and moving? Did you do it? Where did you go?City to country or vice versa? Is there a secret town out there that is financially friendly as well as great for kids? A place where the elderly are cares for and valued? Not put to pasture?( when there expiration date expires in the thinking of some people) Where respect comes from doing not just having money?
I Want to give my kids a wii but I also want them to have there values in the right place. I want them to place more value on trees and the beauty of nature over the latest new gadget. That is fun but it is not real/ breathing. They love animals and nature and climbing and they are still sweet. Haven't been materialistically exposed too much. But this year it began and I am thinking my values aren't conducive to my or their LA living situation. So instead of driving what would happen if I opened the door? What would I see? Clean air, bright stars trees flowers animals with trips to city for fun and attention when the need arises. Any thoughts? Any single mothers have any ideas or success stories?
Any single dads(band together on an island someplace) Have any? Maybe a lodge group of cute dads?
*Better amend island reference...more like peter pan and lost boys over polygamy | |
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| A Complete Change?
Posted: 6/10/2008 12:37:51 PM | My dad moved to Spain about 4 years ago. My daughter and I live in the UK. We go over to visit him, usually twice a year. Last year I had the chance to move over there with my daughter. Things here in the UK werent going so great for me and I was feeling pretty low. I had the offer of a job over there and our lifestyle would have been better. And not to mention all that sunshine!!!
But at the end of the day, I couldnt take my daughter so far away from her father. I just couldnt bring myself to do that to them.
Do I regret it? Yep...most days lol | |
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| A Complete Change?
Posted: 6/10/2008 12:42:08 PM | Have your traveled to any of the smaller areas in Northern Ca?
I'd suggest Oregon, but orgonians aren't to fond of Ca transplants... Sorry that is what I have heard... Montana?
If you have the finances to move, then it would be a good idea to get them out of the smog filled land of LA... IF not, then figure out places to go for the weekend...
AND yes, I moved from an area I didn't like in central Wa, picked up and moved away from family and friends, and have made it work for 20 yrs now... Ok, I was married in between that 20 yrs...
It isn't easy anywhere you go, just different... | |
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| A Complete Change?
Posted: 6/10/2008 12:42:18 PM | Move to Colorado or Minnesota - both are great nature states, and both are great states for singles/dating.
You don't say if you would be moving the kids away from their dad.....
Sometimes fresh starts can be good! | |
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| A Complete Change?
Posted: 6/10/2008 2:21:51 PM | well if the father isn't involved, and you want to stay in california perhaps move up north, like Santa Cruz, lots of nature, the beach, the ocean, and still can go to the next big city, sf. There's also Eureka, my sister lived there for a few years, very nature, and very peaceful, but i'm sure your kids will scream of boredom when they are teenagers lol. And I believe Palm Springs is friendly to the elderly. Or florida for that matter.
Once in awhile, I do feel like a need of change, but I like being near family. Have you thought of just doing weekend getaways once in awhile and a week off here or there. | |
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| A Complete Change?
Posted: 6/10/2008 5:36:25 PM | Whatever you are trying to "escape" will likely find you wherever you end up, given enough time.
When I was 9, my mom moved us from Ohio to Arizona. And I thought it was a great idea at the time, and even see some value in it now. But, all in all, I think it was the WORST mistake she ever made. She took us out of a stable community with friends and a few family members to an entirely different world with different values, no roots, no stability.
Children thrive on predictability, that comes out of routine and comfort. You lose all of that when you uproot them. I always wonder how much better my life would have been had I never left (And I have been back in Cleveland for nearly 10 years now, only lived in AZ for 4 years) | |
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| A Complete Change?
Posted: 6/10/2008 7:02:06 PM | Yes I did, about 10 yrs ago. I pulled up stakes from NH and moved to SC...didn't know a soul down there, but did some research and rents were amazingly cheap.
I worked as a housecleaner for $6.50 an hour. What I didn't know was that the daycare assistance down there isn't the same as up here. Here in NH, I got Title XX assistance to pay for daycare. Down there it was a lottery, and I missed the sign up by a week. I couldn't believe the lines in the welfare office. At least 100 people every single day waiting for assistance (everything...food stamps etc).
I lasted 6 months. My entire paycheck for 50 hrs a week went to daycare for 2 kids full time, and one part time...my daughter was the only one in school.
I also didn't realize that down south, you have to put down huge deposits for your utilities to be turned on. My fault that I didn't research that one, but it didn't occur to me, since here in NH all you do is call. They don't require anything here.
I was only able to turn on the electric, no cable or phone.
I ended up coming back to NH. I missed home. I missed my support system...my family.
If I could do it again, knowing what I know now...I would. But I can't take my kids away from their dad, so maybe when they are all grown and moved out. I really liked it down there. | |
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| A Complete Change?
Posted: 6/10/2008 7:43:47 PM | I made a complete change. I moved from San Jose, California to Bothell, Washington. I would never have made the move if I had not had employment lined up (intercompany transfer). I researched the area I wanted to move to, asked a ton of questions of my (now former) boss and went in feet first and with my eyes wide open.
I left behind drug-infested, gang riddled streets for a life that is much more relaxed and laid back. I went from barely making it with my kids in a cramped two-bedroom apartment to a spacious 3 bedroom house with a yard at the end of a cul-de-sac. I left behind a hard life and I left behind my friends ( very hard to do).
What I gained is invaluable. 
I wake up in the morning and can listen to the birds sing and, when it's not raining, I can watch the sunrise from my porch while sipping a cup of coffee. I have taught my youngest daughter the value of a lazy afternoon and watching the clouds pass while looking at all the green around us. I live close enough to a large city (Seattle) that if I want to I can go and enjoy nightlife. But I don't feel the draw to the city anymore.
It can be done - but if you make this choice you must think of everything. Housing, utilities, cost of living, etc. Don't read the town's brochure, visit the area you're thinking about and spend time there to soak in the town's atmosphere and talk to people to find out history (yes, there's a rich history here) and see how accepting they are of outsiders.
Good luck with your decision!  | |
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| A Complete Change?
Posted: 6/11/2008 9:39:03 AM | Well...I packed my car and moved twice. But, I didn't have children at the time either. The first time was to Las Vegas. The second time was to Kentucky...Kentucky is a beautiful state, but well, I have bad memories of KY, so I shall probably never return.
Welder and I have plans to move to either one of the Dakotas or Montana within about the next 5 years. Kind of get away from all the hoopla...go somewhere quiet where you can still find trees.
~Welder's girl~ | |
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| A Complete Change?
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:14:13 AM | I did, I bought a car for 50 bucks, backed up my two year old and drove to Vancouver, from Calgary, we had a suitcase of clothes and I brought a box of her toys and i had a 100 bucks in my pocket (may seem dumb to you)
But it was liberating, it allowed us to HAVE a real life instead of living in the past, I got to rebuild everything.
I ve never looked back, and i ve nevr regretted it, I need a change to get my life back on track | |
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| A Complete Change?
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:54:22 AM | I was hit with the health care layoffs in Vancouver, BC in 2002 on a Tuesday in April... sent out applications to a few prairie provinces on Wednesday, did a phone interview on the Thursday, got offered and accepted a job on Friday and started the new job 10 days later in Edmonton.
I haven't had any contact with my son's father since he was 1 month old (about 4 years earlier), so that wasn't much of an issue. I knew two people in Edmonton who I graduated with the year before, but otherwise that was it. I lucked out and got here before the boom hit, and I'm still here... met piles of good friends an have had some good times too. No regrets!
I'll probably do another big move again once my kiddo is out of high school.... the winters here suck! haha | |
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| A Complete Change?
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:59:09 AM | Thank you everyone. I really appreciate all the different views.
From a kids perspective to a grown up one. There were really some good things to think about. Everyone in the family has to be included in the decision. Good research and feeling out the energy. As far as being accepted in a possible locals only environment I have a good life track record in that dept. I am a nice person and people can see that. Not tooting own horn I have things/issues to work out too. (terrible housekeeper). Acceptance once strangers talk to me isn't there for me. Feel blessed that way.
I did love Washington it was beautiful there alot of visuals that inspire me and I feel my pen flowing. I also came to find out by the local people there that it rains alot and the sun came out for my week visit. Actually to be honest I was on a road trip with an ex boy-friend and the people of washington state and the beautiful surroundings treated me better then he did. He was okay. Not abusive or anything. Just not for me. A bit cheap a bit self absorbed but road trips are good for that kind of thing...I digress.. sorry. Another post.
Hawaii was amazing. The garden isle. I only have concerns about the education for kids. We were very much accepted there and felt love from the people as well as the place. A writers paradise.
Italy or Spain. I really want to see. Under the Tuscan sun whatever that movie title was I could see that with me.
Most of the European moms and dads who I know from kids' school originally have thought I was not an american. Thought I was European. Not sure if it was mentality or looks or a combo of both.
As to wanting to escape I know that feeling and this is not that. Wise decisions and real plans. My family and I deserve a well thought out plan. Thank you all for your thoughts. Very inspiring and thoughtful. It seems like certain places can do something for the spirit energize it so to speak. Certain places inspire me. I do write more and it seems to come more effortlessly. I Don't want to be accused of being a hippy dippy..though have been called that here at pof before. Could be worse.
As to taking them away from anyone like a dad..I don't have that to contend with. They would like one and I also (a right one not a stand in) but we are not any less a family for not having a man in the house as they understand. We are whole. The choice is ours alone.
Weather would play apart for me. I get cold. | |
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| A Complete Change?
Posted: 6/11/2008 11:05:14 AM | | As far as having a hundred bucks in pocket and making a change letting go of the past and striving forward to the future..I admire your determination. I don't think your dumb. Brave actually. I need to plan as well as be brave. | |
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| A Complete Change?
Posted: 6/11/2008 11:59:48 AM | my late wife and i did it once. i told her we could go anywhere
she wanted to go except NJ and NY. Personal reasons for me,
anyway she started looking around while we were packing up,
found a Place in a Little Town in Oklahoma, found a house and
moved. she picked the small town to get away from the city,
we both like the country and because it hadn't had a Tornado hit it
in over 25 years!! she wanted to chase them cause she was facinated
with the weather and tornadoes. Although she passed away going on
3.5 years ago, i've stayed here 7 years and have no intention of leaving Oklahoma
i love the people, the friends i've made, the weather, seeing all 4 seasons, Thunder storms, pretty much everything about it. And the best thing about
Oklahoma that i can see is.....It's Growing, buildings going up, Businesses even building . Homes going up all over the place to purchase, it's great!! yea gas is a
tad high, Food is on the rise due to that issue but not as high as other states!!
And according to the lastest figures we're torwards the lower states around.
http://www.gasbuddy.com/gb_gastemperaturemap.aspx
Do i own any of it?
Nope but if i win the Lotto, you can bet
i Will 
It's fun, to just up and move, you should try it!!
I hope you all have a Great week ahead!!! | |
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