| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 8:36:20 AM | as the reason im on here opens a pandora's box, but none bad, but just not the sort of conversation id want to talk about after chatting a day or two. As its quite deep and wouldnt want to sound like a sob story.
Then if you say 'id rather not say'....it leads to assumptions.
So are non-truths, false stories the better alterntative? | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 8:44:44 AM | Are you asking if it's okay to lie to someone that you've met and want to date?
Are you serious? You even have to ask???
If you have to ask, you need to get off this site and give the women here a break. | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 8:52:31 AM | I personally think it is best to be out in the open from the start, but appreciate sometimes some things are really hard to talk about. I don't mean as soon as you meet but you will eventually get a feeling that yep maybe I can tell her this bit about me. It's all about how you come across at the time asto whether it seems like a sob story.
x | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 8:58:21 AM | | Hmm, do people ask you "why you are here" often? No one's ever asked me... just say "That's something I'd love to discuss with you in person"... or find some innocent way out of it, maybe a joke... lying just sets a very, very bad precedent. It builds walls that are very hard to break... If she discovers it, will she ever trust anything you say? Will you respect her? | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:06:39 AM | I think that honesty is the best policy whatever the situation, however, that does not mean that you should part with very personal information with people you hardly know.
I have been asked this question several times and have replied its the best form of socialising for my situation. Just be honest and state that your here for your reasons and if the time comes then you will impart that information, otherwise there is no need for them to know. | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:08:37 AM | I'm brutally honest on my profile, so I don't feel the need to explain anything to anyone who messages me. Also, being honest on your profile weeds out the people who you'd have to weed out anyways.
It works well. As soon as you don't want to tell someone why you're here is the instant they figure you're here to get laid. Which very well may be the case but you may as well be upfront about it. | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:15:23 AM |
So are non-truths, false stories the better alterntative?
It's YOUR question OP.
Non-truths? You mean lies.
False Stories? You mean more lying.
As I said, If you even have to ask your question, you should just delete your profile now and save the women here the heartbreak.
Your question, not mine. | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:18:23 AM | it really depends on what kind of truth you are trying tell them.
things you can tell - if you were to tell them that your ex was crazy then that is fine, or that you have never really had a long term relationship. then that is fine.
things you should never tell - if you are crazy, or addicted to porn. if you have had a gang bang with your friends, then that to might not be something they need to know. | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:19:32 AM | You mean having a gangbang with your friends is something to be ashamed of?
Man, if I got to do that I'd be bragging to anyone that'd listen.
Then again, I'm not normal. Not even a little bit. | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:23:45 AM | Honesty is the best policy when answering direct questions that have some relevance to the conversation, but I don't think a few days of chatting warrants baring one's soul to another person. The thing is omission is often used to get around sticky subjects that both men and women do not want to talk about. You and only you know what brought you to POF-but if you are engaging in a conversation with another person and intend on meeting that person- being straightforward about your intentions makes a whole lotta sense to me.
Example: ( and this is not directed at OP, but in general)
1. Wanting to make friends-when you really are looking for a booty call.
2. Wanting to date-but really are involved with the SO you have and are looking to spice things up.
3. Looking for an intimate encounter-but you really want a LTR of substance.
4. Looking for a LTR-but you only want to date.
I believe a person should say what they mean and mean what they say. For each person it varies, but I've noticed that often times it's the gross assumptions people make which tend to end things before they even get a chance to start. I' m here solely because I enjoy the forums. I've had folks email me and inquire about other things and I'm quite candid in expressing my reason for being here as well as posting in on my profile.
Just my thoughts on the matter for what they are worth- | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:39:12 AM |
I'm brutally honest on my profile, so I don't feel the need to explain anything to anyone who messages me. Also, being honest on your profile weeds out the people who you'd have to weed out anyways.
My ex lied on his profile, during chat, on the phone and in real life. I had to discover a few things for myself over the course of our relationship. He would have been weeded out immediately if he had told me anything close to the truth. BIG reason why he's an ex.
From day one my SO now has been brutally honest about everything, even the most difficult things to discuss. I love and respect him even more because of it. I'm the same way. There's no room for dishonesty in good relationships. | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:42:33 AM |
Then if you say 'id rather not say'....it leads to assumptions.
Yes, you're right. A lot of times keeping silent says more than if you spoke.
So, be honest and up front - you get more respect that way.
As soon as you don't want to tell someone why you're here is the instant they figure you're here to get laid. Which very well may be the case but you may as well be upfront about it.
Yep. I'd probably go one step further and say that, if you're not here for the forums, or entertainment, you are here to get laid. Yes, you're also looking for that someone special, but you can't tell me once you find them, you won't do them.
I'm yet to hear someone admit that they are dating, but only because they want to find someone to solve that math problem they've been working on for the last two months.
I find amusing the number of ways people will spin/sugarcoat the fact "I want to f*ck you". | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:46:31 AM | [I'm yet to hear someone admit that they are dating, but only because they want to find someone to solve that math problem they've been working on for the last two months. ]
You mean that 24 goes into 42 more times than 42 can go into 24??? Hmmmm....LOL!! | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:48:57 AM |
as the reason im on here opens a pandora's box, but none bad, but just not the sort of conversation id want to talk about after chatting a day or two. As its quite deep and wouldnt want to sound like a sob story.
Tell us what the issue is, and we'll tell you how to handle it. Then delete your profile and come back with a new one and handle it the way we've advised you to.
Problem solved!  | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 10:01:32 AM | OP
There are lies and there is BullS**T
For example, I do not like talking about my profession, Because the "personal" conversation then becomes a business conversation.
So I don't Lie but I always say "ASS MODEL" - BullS**T
The difference is that a lie knows what the truth is but chooses to ignore it.
BullS**T does not care about the truth but deflects the question
My favorite IRL is when someone asks my age, I say "Guess!" no matter what their answer I always say "You must be a psychic".
The problem with POF is everyone is so afraid that they will be lied to that they go looking for lies and asking questions out of the proper order.
Big Al
Ass Model | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 10:07:54 AM | Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well. ~~ Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902)
It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar. ~~ Jerome K. Jerome (1859 - 1927)
Liars when they speak the truth are not believed. ~~ Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC), from Diogenes Laertius, Lives of Eminent Philosophers
Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive! ~~ Sir Walter Scott (1771 - 1832), Marmion, Canto vi. Stanza 17. | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 10:20:53 AM | I dont know why people think that going on the internet makes everyone an open book.
If you wont do it in person, dont do it on the internet. It takes time to get to know someone and you shouldn't be spilling your guts or going over past relationships when you first meet someone. | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 10:30:43 AM | ^^I agree. Being on here does not give license to all for answers to any and all questions asked.
Sometimes, people do not know how to have a conversation, so they resort to the inquisition. I prefer to answer in a vague, general sense when asked something I'd rather not get into with a stranger. We already have too much information on everyone as far as I'm concerned. | |
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| Is truth always the best policy when chatting/profile?
Posted: 6/12/2008 10:49:37 AM | Right, I dont care, the people I chat to probably wont even read this.
The reason I ended up here. I was in a happy relationship for 5 years at the time, my brother was murdered and it sent me spiraling down into depression. I did nothing about it, saying I could handle it, but after just over a year of it, my ex could no longer take it, with aggression, boozing, not working and generaly not giving a shit for anything or anyone and finished with me. It was at this point I decided to do something about my problems, which are now mostly fixed, but to many bridges were burned for me to ever go back, I am no ready to move on....so when questions arise about any of the above, its not something i wanna be saying after a few days chatting on the internet.
so, honesty isnt always the best policy as far as im concerned. Who really wants to hear that, inbetween who your fav band and meal is.
So that CLOWN, can suck on it.
Like i say, i just dont want to come across as some sob story. | |
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