| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/14/2008 10:21:26 AM | When we were younger , Much younger…In school
You would see someone you liked and then tell your best friend
And he’d tell his sister and she’d tell that certain someone .
That certain someone would either say, Oh he’s cute or oh that guy.
But it all most always started out with some form of physical attraction!
We had a network and it worked
Then in our 20’s we figured out the direct approach was much more efficient
Standing across the room admiring that certain someone, Your eyes met
and she either looked a second time or turned away..
But you could tell if she was interested, You walked over and said hello….
Throwing caution into the wind, Things were so much simpler then!
In our 30’s we’ve had our hearts broken a few times by now.
Maybe built some walls, A little older a little wiser..
Not ready to quit yet. Think we’ve got it figured out!
We try and take a little more time getting to know that certain someone
But it still starts with a glance, That woman across the office from you,
At the end of the bar at your local hang out, standing in line at the Star Bucks
You visit every morning. We keep our eyes and our ears open, look for the red flags.
And then when the time is right we introduce ourselves…
The conversation either went well and the chemistry was there or it wasn’t,
But at least we always made to that stage!
Today now in our 40’s we have the internet.
Internet dating, What a concept.. Turn on your computer and view thousands
Of prospective partners, Pictures, Profiles its all there! Simply click, type and send!
If she interested she’ll reply….
That is if she even see’s your reply as she’s wading through the other 100 posts
She’s received.
Then there’s the interview process , Providing she has opened you reply…
Did you word your profile just right,
Do you make enough money,
Do your hobbies and your interests line up with hers,
The process is simple, Its also cold and empty!
Internet dating comes with a whole new set of rules.
New red flags!
Not saying that any of those techniques we used in our younger days don’t still apply
Just saying that if internet dating is the way of the future I wish more people would be a little more honest about what it is that their really looking for so that those of us who really know what we’re looking for wont have to waist our precious time replying to profiles of people who just cant be honest with themselves…..
Put it out there, If your looking for a man who makes $100.000.00 plus, Put it out there don’t worry that it may make you seem materialistic if its what you want…Put it out there, If all you looking for is a dating relationship. Don’t say your looking for long term and have 10 guys lined up in the wings, let the guy decide if just dating is ok. Don’t worry that it my make you seem promiscuous if its what you want. Put it out there. If your looking for a man 10 years younger than you. Don’t post that your 45 and looking for a man between 35 and 50, Put it out there! Write 35 to 50 but only if the 50 year old man looks 35, Don’t worry if it may make you seem shallow if its what you want, Put it out there!
I’ve found that 90% of the profiles I respond to do not post what it is that their actually looking for..
That being said I still have faith, I know that somewhere out there in that 10% I will find that special someone! | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/14/2008 11:03:23 AM | | totally agree...things have changed so much these days...it more hard work and I am more inclined to stay single ! lol | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/14/2008 1:51:43 PM | > I’ve found that 90% of the profiles I respond to do not post what it is that their actually looking for.
I hear that, though I'd put the number closer to 95%.
I think their idea is that if they just blabber on and on about stuff which doesn't much matter the right guy will magically think "how precious"... | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/14/2008 1:57:40 PM | That being said I still have faith, I know that somewhere out there in that 10% I will find that special someone!
Good for you! 
Keep the faith! | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/14/2008 1:58:04 PM | Reminds self not to blabber 
And wow OP you have been busy if you have got through 90%, perhaps they all swapped notes  | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/14/2008 4:23:27 PM | | this sounds like an echo of a conversation I had with another single gal pal of mine.. someone went and changed the rules when I wasn't looking. When do we stop looking for the next best thing. Maybe the variety is too vast on these dating websites, its like a shopping mall for the grown adult. And its easy for people to be deceptive on here I have found. Either there pic isnt what they look like at all, not that looks are everything, but if they are going to lie about something so simple whats to stop them about lying about other things as well? I have met a couple of really nice people on here, but you are right, the rules have drastically changed, and not for the better, hard to believe mature adults resort back to trying to relive their teen years.. | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/14/2008 4:37:47 PM |
its like a shopping mall for the grown adult
Yes, but when you go to Hotel Chocolate and look at a Pistachio and Honey Bar, it doesn't tell you to take a hike when you get to the checkout, does it?
Dating is no harder or easier than it was 10 years ago (or 20 if you're an older fart like me). I've always been useless with women, so for me it's the same  | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/14/2008 8:09:17 PM | | OH!!!!!!! do I agree!!! this whole on-line thing has me wondering WHY??? I remember when you met someone you either A: liked them and spent time with them and did not see other people ...or B: you didn't and you told them (nicely of course) so they could go on with their lifes, and have a chance to meet the one for them....now people seem to just drag people along as they still look and look trying to find that magizine perfect person...because they have been hurt and abused so badly that they can't even begin a relationship for fear they will be crushed again! ??? My question is why do they date if they are not ready too???...I think on-line dating for me, so far, is not what I had thought it was. Maybe I am too ole fashion but ....why is dating these days so complicated?? | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/14/2008 8:53:08 PM |
why is dating these days so complicated??
Has anyone noticed...everything is complicated these days! Everything is changing and moving so FAST!
I am guilty of the "kid in a candy store" syndrome when I first started dating on internet sites. It took me a while to realize that I might have threw a few good ones back in the pond too soon but at least I never strung anyone along...but that's not my style anyway.
Now I am choosier about who I connect with and meet. It has slowed me down considerably. I think I've met two guys in the past six months and neither of them made it to a third date.
Sometimes though it takes a little longer. I dated a guy from a site for a few months. Nothing really serious but he was nice. After a while, I realized that he had a gambling problem and I decided to break things off. I just don't believe in casually dating people. Maybe some people do and that's fine but if I don't see the potential for something more to develop, I don't see the point in sticking around.
I think people are complicated and dating is complicated and it doesn't matter where or how you meet. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself and the people you date...honesty can at least simplify things a little.  | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/14/2008 9:36:56 PM | [you met someone you either A: liked them and spent time with them and did not see other people ...or B: you didn't and you told them (nicely of course) so they could go on with their lifes,]
boy does this ring true.. why do people do that? they meet you, say they would like to see you again, and then continue looking online for someone else. Call me crazy, but how does someone really get a fair shake at getting to really know someone if they are preoccupied with someone else? Something seems a little wrong with that whole scenario. | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/14/2008 9:49:32 PM | Thanx to all of you who have posted a reply to my Blog....I have found them to be very informative and some even clever enough to make me laugh, For that I thank you as well.
As I am very new to this whole forum thing I wasnt sure what to expect....
Its good to know Im not crazy and this is happining to others, You guys are great!
Well so far  | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/14/2008 10:34:27 PM | Simple days for me was back when I was "The Guy in the Band". Dating, if any effort on my part was required to begin with, was as simple as glancing about the room and making a decision.
That was about ten years ago. Now, I actually have to... Well, that's the problem, I never really learned. Throwing a new city into the mix, it kind of feels like freshman year in high school all over again.
So, in answer to the title question was, "Yep! Sure do!" The answer? Start a new band! | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/15/2008 2:19:18 PM | It appears everything that is done in the modern world is through some technological "via". I think we've begun to loose some of our ability to relate person to person. Hell, just the other day I saw a young woman having an argument with her boyfriend via text messenging! Maybe we should all go back to church on Sundays
"Hey I couldn't help noticing you checking me out between psalms earlier..." | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/15/2008 2:28:29 PM |
Not saying that any of those techniques we used in our younger days don’t still apply Just saying that if internet dating is the way of the future I wish more people would be a little more honest about what it is that their really looking for so that those of us who really know what we’re looking for wont have to waist our precious time replying to profiles of people who just cant be honest with themselves.
Excellent post (ok, maybe not the grammar/spelling  ). I agree that everyone should be more honest in profiles, but sadly people are mostly not able to be so honest. That's the reality and you or I can't change it.
I'm not sure people are any less honest than they were with the techniques of our "younger days". The difference is that today we have formal criteria and written profiles. In the old days, physical attraction and chemistry trumped stuff like how much a person made, whether that person wants to have kids, age differences, etc. Many people wound up in unhappy relationships because they never thought about the criteria that would be minimal to make them happy in the long term! I'm guilty of not having many criteria before internet dating. I tried, but it wasn't so easy to find a person. Establishing criteria allows us to be more conscious about our choices, maybe to ultimately be happier.
Think about any of your exes you met before on-line dating. Had they been honest in a profile, would you have contacted them? Probably not, and probably for the reasons that they are now "exes". This has been my experience, anyway.
Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. The more things change, the more they stay the same. | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/15/2008 4:01:26 PM | OP - So true.
When I was around 15 (mid 80s), you'd say to your mate that you fancy so and so and they'd tell so and so's mate who would tell so and so.
Then so and so would be all coy but eventually get around to saying 'will you go out with me?'
Those amazing words!! You knew exactly there and then that you were dating, and that you were boyfriend and girlfriend. Then you'd got to school the next day and write it on your school books 'SR luvs so and so'.
And in those days you didnt have to worry about getting STDs or pregnant because all that ever happened was a quick 'finger'
These days no one has a frigging clue anymore, are you dating? Seeing each other? Going out? girlfriend/boyfriend? Partners? A couple?
Its all far too complicated for me. | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/15/2008 7:07:41 PM | What do you think would happen if we all just started being bold and made an impulse move .... for example, you're washing your car and you notice the opposite sex doing the same...they look interesting and like a person you would like to get to know.
Wouldn't it just be "simple" to walk over to them extend your hand and ask....are you single?
~Pour | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:52:28 PM | Establishing criteria allows us to be more conscious about our choices, maybe to ultimately be happier.
I agree, As we get older we learn more about ourselves and our needs. We become more selective, Or as so well put above establish criteria!
But.....What good is criteria here if all one has to do is post an old pic or fudge a number or two.
Dont get me wrong Im not complaining, I realize its the nature of the beast.
I hope this next statement doesnt offend anybody, But I wonder how many people reading this blog put themselves into that 90% and justify their fudging one way or another??? | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/15/2008 11:01:07 PM | [What do you think would happen if we all just started being bold and made an impulse move
Wouldn't it just be "simple" to walk over to them extend your hand and ask....are you single?]
That would be alot easier than rear ending someone at a stop light! Stranger things have happened! | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/16/2008 5:14:20 AM |
I hope this next statement doesnt offend anybody, But I wonder how many people reading this blog put themselves into that 90% and justify their fudging one way or another??? Like I said in my first answer, it's hard for people to be honest! Everyone has issues, is insecure about something and doesn't like to make that obvious. We can all "wish" people were more honest, but it simply ain't gonna happen. It's not a problem that's unique to online dating.
The good side of online dating is that it usually a person in your 90% area will be "exposed" after the first date or two, since the pic doesn't match, or the person is not like her profile, etc. Better to find that out in one or two dates than in one or two years. | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/16/2008 5:46:17 AM | I remember when it was simple! Oh the good ol' days.
I wonder if dating would be any easier if people would just remember that simple communication is key. People keeping in mind honesty is the best policy, taking people at their word, and people keeping their word as well. Not to mention, giving people the benefit of the doubt, and not judging right off the bat in the first thirty seconds of an encounter.
Remember how easy it was to flirt with someone? How great it would feel, even if nothing ever came of it? Or even better when something DID come of it??
Maybe it's just me, but now a days it's hard to remember the simple yet effective art of flirting to meet someone. I may need to take a refresher course, in order to resimplify this dating idea.
If anyone has the dates and times of the class......could you let me know?  | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/16/2008 5:13:42 PM | | The problem is that both women and men have both made dating more complicated by setting our expectations way too high only to be disappointed. I wish things were simple then dating sites wouldn't exist ...lol | |
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| Remember when dating was simple!
Posted: 6/17/2008 3:31:57 AM | It's only as complicated as two people make it.
A lot seem to forget the purpose of dating, and wind up thinking they are in a LTR when they have only dated a few months. Dating is the 'get to know you' phase. If when getting to know someone, you see traits that you dont like, you move along to someone new.
As we age, we see traits earlier, or red flags as they are called in here. That comes from experience...and most youth cant see a red flag if it's on fire on thier butts. Innocent, young and open to the world....I dont really miss being 'that' innocent.
Some take this to a strange level...red flags appear everywhere, even when they are not really there. Those ones make all things complicated...not just dating...so you are probably better off without them. | |
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