| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/6/2005 12:48:30 PM | hi all parents ....
Am very new here ans am looking for others who are raising ADHD and ODD children. I am step mom needing support and ideas, Thanks for taking time to read this post... | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/6/2005 7:20:30 PM | | Good Luck. My daughter was just diagnosed with either ADHD or child onset of BiPolar. She is a HAND FULL!! They tell you to try Behavior Modification but that does not help. | |
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Dell
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Joined: 1/21/2004
Msg: 3 | |
| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/7/2005 9:05:10 AM | Behavior modification can work a lot of times but the reason people often fail is because they aren't consistent enough. You have to be extremely regimented about it but I do agree that it also does not take the place of medication, when needed.
I would encourage you to work with your doctor, teachers/daycare providers everyone who has a caregiving role in this child's life. It has to be a team effort. Progress is often slow and regressions do happen, don't be disappointed by set backs. If you have more specific questions, please ask. | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/7/2005 2:45:55 PM | Give them TONS of things to keep them occupied. They may not focus ENTIRELY on something all of the time, but they SURE Are good at focusing on many things at once n such...no?
THAT is alot of enrgy which, if used wisely at all..I'm thinking..can make these kiddos fricking MAGNIFICENT!!! | |
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Dell
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Joined: 1/21/2004
Msg: 5 | |
| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/7/2005 3:57:20 PM |
THAT is alot of enrgy which, if used wisely at all..I'm thinking..can make these kiddos fricking MAGNIFICENT!!!
I agree frosty. These are usually some of the most intelligent kids going.
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/8/2005 3:35:32 AM | I have two boys one with Add and the other with ADHD the one with ADD is 18 now he still has some learning problems but is fine he is on no meds but thats his choise . The ADHD child is 14 and is still a hand full and we are still working on him he can be so good sometimes and the the sweatest kid. but the other times you just have to hold your breath. Its hard but you just have to work with them. he still needs med to do school work. He dosn't live with me so its hard to know whats going on with him. he is my little devil lol | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/8/2005 3:39:33 AM | My stepson has ADHD. I found that he needed a lot of structure. Hang in there.  | |
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jaxxx
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Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 8 | |
| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/8/2005 1:46:36 PM | | My children do not have ADHD, but their dads brother has it severly. He is 26. When he was a kid he was in a new school each year , since each one claimed they didnt have the equipment or man power to help him learn to his potential. Until he was 18 he was a pretty good kid when he took his meds regularly, besides the reading and writing trouble. When 18 hit he knew he didnt have to listen to anyone tell him what to do anymore. Which was bad he went on a downward slide quickly. He has been in and out of jail , and abusing alcohol which he is alergic to most of the ingredients in alcohol which make him crazy. I know being in jail is not the ideal place for anyone to get the help they need , but for him this last jail/rehab center he was in helped him a great deal with school , reading ,writing, helping him know how to stay away from the things that make his ADHD go crazy and most importantly made him realize that taking his meds is a everyday thing. So back to my point. With any kid structure and routine and a whole lot of patients, and alot of praise for just being who they are is the only way to go. One of my children has downsyndrome and I do know its not ADHD but there are alot of behavioral issues I do have to deal with ,and I use my time I spent with my kids uncle to help me deal with my own child well I actually use it with both my kids. It takes alot of time and I think with my ex's family they didnt take the time to give their son the skills to be a free thinking adult and it was easier to let him be bad as long as he stayed out of their hair and he probably would of had a better chance of staying out of jail if they helped him adjust his knowledge to the outside world. He is one of the smartest people I know , but it just takes him alot longer to show and use his smarts, and as for alot of people being bad is alot easier then being good. With help is is on the right track and it is stressfull to try and make things work but once you have a routine that works for everyone involved, structure and patients I think it makes everything else so much easier. . | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/8/2005 1:58:51 PM | My boys are ADHD. Both are also dyslexic. Both got bored with school really quick. You have to find the one thing that will hold their interest for more than 10 seconds and work with it. Regardless of the ADHD there is something that the child takes pleasure in (art maybe, science kinda stuff?) that will keep him attentive for more than a minute or two IF he is doing the biggest part of the partcipation. Praise goes a long way, and as stated above....structure! Without it they are lost.
Read lots! The answers are out there, but you have to find what works for the child....not you.
Doc | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/8/2005 6:47:41 PM | | HI I have 2 sons with Autism... Have u tried lookin thought the msn groups?? I know there are many support groups online that will give u alot of information... I belong to www.bbbautism.com and I know there is alot of information on ODD and a few people who have children with ODD PDD PDD-NOS and Autism | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/10/2005 7:37:44 PM | | The only advice I can give is be careful and ask lots of questions to your child's doc. Many children are being misdiagnosised with ADHD and really have early onset bipolar. The stimulants can make the child worse over time. Take it from a mom whose had darlling daughter on stimulants and increased symtoms which landed her in hospital 6 times in the pas 18 months and now have the diagnosis of early onset Bipolar and ODD. very important to get second opionions and sometimes 3rd and do not be too fast to get your child on stimulants to make your life easier. Find a good pyschiatrist.... | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/10/2005 7:42:18 PM | | Thanks for the info. I have to chose another psych. because the last one only spent 30minutes and decided the pyschologist was wrong. One says ADHD the other says child onset of BiPolar. It is so hard to tell the difference. My daughter does well in school but Godthe tantrums, those are killing me. | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/10/2005 7:43:56 PM | | Actually each child is different as to the degree they are in the illness. And behavior modification is not always the answer. If you have every been a parent with a child with this silent disability you would understand. Most people on the outside just think you are a bad parent. This in most cases is not even close to being true. Most of these parents take on more than you could ever even imagine and love their child unconditional. I wish behavior modification was the answer, but it is not. It is love and helping the child understand the illness & teaching them how to cope & deal with the rest of their life. ADHD and early onset bipolar are so close in symtoms that it takes lots of counseling and possible psycotherapy to get to the treatment plan that work with each child. What may work for my daughter may not work for another. | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/10/2005 7:45:18 PM | | You sure have that right...LOL Maybe as adults that will be able to multi task extremely well....LOL | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/10/2005 7:49:33 PM | | finding a good doc is so hard and to find one that does not just have you in and out in 15-20 minutes is a miracle...LOL Keep looking and you will find one. My daughter is nine and stable. Thank God. It really has been an eventful past 18 mos. I dread puberty though. I hear that for children with early onset BP it can be a nightmare.. | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/11/2005 6:34:54 PM | | I've found that when it comes to medications for ADHD kids, psychiatrists do a better job than pediatricians. Just my opinion. | |
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buk
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Joined: 8/8/2004
Msg: 17 | |
| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/12/2005 11:38:22 PM | This is a special situation and I think it's great that you want to participate in the child's life. I've not found many people that would want to take on that responsibility - my son is ADHD and there are challenges you deal with often on a daily basis.
Hopefully the mom and the father have taken the initial steps, have a plan of action that they are following through with and you can participate in a supporting role. If they want you to participate in decisions regarding treatment then much of what is listed in other postings apply.
If you want to know how to build a positive relationship with the child, one of the most important things to remember is you need to have their respect. Often this is earned not assumed. My son will do pretty much anything I ask, however, there is patience, structure, respect towards him, consistency, and diet considerations that have an impact on that. Without respect he would follow his own set of rules and frustration would be had by all.
To keep his respect; I participate in his life and maintain an interest in what he is doing. I know what video games he likes and the shows he watches; so I know what types of books he would be interested in - I read ahead of him in the books so that when he talks about it I already know what is going on. I practice soccer with him everyday he's with me. We talk in the car about whatever activity he was just doing. It sounds like alot of work but really it's not; I still have my things to do, but I can always take a break for a couple of minutes for him.
I know this is a little wordy, but hopefully some sense can be made of it and it is of some help. | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/13/2005 3:45:01 PM | hey my daughter is adhd she is a handful at tyms but ust to b alot worse wen she was little....we got told tht she had adhd wen she was 5 n now she is nearly 16 she is stil on the tablets (slow realise) there is sum things u hav to deal with wen ur child has add adhd....my daughter got kiked out of skool at the start ov year 10 4 badly assaulting sum1 n put them in hospital (all the girl did was slap her) but she went mad n wen skool phoned she said she wasnt sayin nething so tht led to her gettin kicked out ov skool but we got her into a refural center which has helped her alot in the past year she has changed a very lot | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/13/2005 3:52:56 PM | matrix . . . . . . . I have a 11 year old son and with watching what he eats and STRICT behavior modification it is working for he and I.
We tried the "drug thing" And I did not like what it did to him (it took away his personality)
I think the diet thing helps alot, No fast food, no sodas, no suggar, no additives, only natural sweets and fruits.
Good luck | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/13/2005 4:21:23 PM | I am the Mom of an ADHD 8 year old boy. I have found the best doctor in the Tulsa area. The best advice that I was given was to not only monitor their surgar intake, but also carbs. Carbs turn to sugar in the blood. READ all lables! You would be surprised as to how many foods contain sugar. Also the affect of sugar can last up to 24 hours in these children, so be careful. If you keep their life as structered as possible, you will have an easier time. Keep in mind that when you are trying to parent a child with these disorders, you will have to be twice the parent of any other. Don't be too hard on yourself and never be afraid to ask for help. There are support groups out there that will help you understand the disorder. Become as educated as possible and hang on tight, no matter what, it will be a bumpy ride. | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/13/2005 10:04:39 PM | Hi Juslilme!!
I am a mother of a 15 (giong on 16) year old son who has ADD. He was also mildly dyslexic when he was younger( seems to have grown out of it!!)
When my son was diagonsed with ADD not a whole lot was known about ADD. Not that the medical practice has made progress by leaps and bounds, but some progress has been made in regards to medications and behavior management etc...
I am now home schooling my son ( for the past 3 months). He is in the ninth grade - but with a grade six level of education. I found that he was not sufficiently getting the attention that he so direly needed in the public school system. Being in the public school system was also damaging his self esteem. He was in the IOP program (Intergrated Occupantional Program). The other children that were not in the IOP were calling the ones that were "Idiots On Patrol". Children can be so cruel.
In September of this year my son refused to take medication any longer (He said he didn't like the way it made him feel), and I had to respect that. He was taking a low dose of Ritalin. Of course he is a lot harder to handle, but I have learned numerous ways the remedy certain situations.
Through the years I have found that a combination of the following methods have, for the most part, worked for my son. Of course, every child is different and sometimes it is just a matter of trial and error (unfortunately).
1) The most important part that 'makes or breaks" your child, is absolutely unconditional love.
2) Patience. If need be, take a parenting class that will help you to improve your abilities to effectively communicate with your child/teen ( I did ).
3) Modify your childs diet to meet his/her specific needs. I found that for quite a few years this was trial and error. Keep a record of the behavior of your child on each given day, as well as what he/she has eaten, and eventually you will begin to see a pattern form.
4) Enormous amounts of praise is another "biggie".
5) Never try to restrain the child. This will only make the child hostile. A teacher once made this mistake and got bitten!!
6) Make sure the child has ongoing counselling. I found this essential to building and maintaining his self-esteem.
7) Be sure that the child has regular medical check-ups by your family doctor. When my son was on medication it significantly reduced his appetite.
8) Always give your child several choices to choose from.
9) Have consequences for out of control behaviour - in accordance to the child's age and most importantly - never, ever falter.
10) Set up a reward system in accordance to the child's age. This still works well on my son!
11) Allow as much social interaction with non-ADD children as possible. It helps to educate
your child as to what is and is not acceptable behavior in social situations.
12) A STRUCTURED invironment is very important.
13) An educational invironment that is distraction free (not always possible).
14) Annual assessment by a specialist in regards to ADD/ADHD.
15) Medication (only if absolutely necessary). Don't listen to teachers. It is yours and your child's choice whether to medicate or not!!
16) Try not to give too much attention to "fits" (unless, of course, the child may hurt himself or others).
I hope that these things that I have learned will make it a little easier for you and your child. Please let me know if I can be of any further assistance. Best of luck to you and your child!!
Tigger123 | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/13/2005 10:43:20 PM | I have an opinion. It's based on my experiences from being on the "receiving" end of any kind of social services "offered/provided" as those "proffessionals" recommend.
I have 2boys,13&11,who were diagnosed and drugged before they were 6&4.They share the same father,who's had them every 2nd weekend most of their lives. I also have another boy9 & 4yr old girl.(each dif dads--neither involved)- (I've already given myself all kinds of opinions about how that all worked out). I gotten a lot of attitude from all kind of others as well. This was not my first pick of lifestyle choices when I said "When I Grow Up..."
They say hind sight's 20/20. The thing what pisses me off so bad is I saw it coming and I couldn't stop it. Be careful who you listen to and more importantly, be careful what you choose to believe. Seeking help will seriously make you wish you never went down that road.
Let's stop and think about some of the reasons this seems to be so prevelent in the classroom today as compared to 30 yrs ago. First of all, kids today are being expected to conform based on what they will or won't get as a prize for behavior.Well, what if today he doesn't give a crap about your stupid stickers? The teacher has no choice but to up the ante.
When we were kids, you did what you were told or you got the strap.Now everyone's screamin about child abuse and the continent's being taken over by bullys who learned in school how to make deals. Essentially as they get bigger, you are paying them not to act like ***holes. If they get in trouble with the law,(at whatever level) they have access to more goodies than some hardworking people can afford.
As well as expecting kids to know how do do freakin everything!!!---in short order!!!
Compared to how many years ago-- Kids aren't getting up early to do chores and ride their bikes or walk to school. They aren't doing calesthenics before paperwork.Parents drive them or they get the bus. Most of their hometime is sitting in front of somekind of screen for entertainment. Is it any wonder they're not confortable being in a desk for how many hours each day? They are stressed out! There's almost no scheduled quiet time to be able to unwind and relax. How many adults get to say screw it I'm takin today off.Kids aren't allowed.
how many parents feed their kids as healthily as they can, then find out the kid was really good at school today so as a reward the teacher OD's him on sugar for his busride home to you? Our society is built for convenience which contributes to loss of health.
Our government talks about the wonderful uniqueness of individuals, then tags whomever doesn't fit into one of their well defined categories with a label that sets them apart from the "acceptable" people. I think it goes without saying that if everyone conformed,there would be no progress. The greastest people in hisorty are all famous for some type of "deficiancy" that swayed their innate tendencies, making them non-conformists. Then later, whatever they became famous for was considered a wonderful addition to the society,"in spite of" any learning disabilities.
MOMS - think about it-- from the time that kid kicked you in the ribs at an unreasonable time to demand that you immediately send someone to the store for something good to eat, you must have known he was gonna be hell on wheels. And the first time he winked at you with that sideways grin--you knew that he knew it,too.
This generation of children is in the process of tearing down and rebuilding this world as we know it. And all we can do is hold our breath and get the hell out of the way,or alternatively
We can set up their environments to be a place of peace and quiet, give them time to be alone with their thoughts.Can't everyone see that maybe there's too much structure? Too many pictures on the walls? Too many hours watching other people get paid to act like jerks for the sake of entertainment,then we give them trouble for acting the same way for the class? And constant beeping and noise everywhere you go. A concrete schedule of expecting them to always be doing something creates craziness because it's too many supplies and stuff for them to keep organised.They will come to you with the most incredible questions and insights,given the opportunity to just be.
When my oldest son was 6yrs old, he asked me "Mom,if they can give you a shot so you can't have babies,can't they give you a shot to make you quit smoking?
One of my other kids,around the same age, told that Humpty Dumpty represented the Soul of the Earth.
If I had it to do over again,I would spend less time in some kind of "proffessional's" office,
and more time sitting under a tree somewhere with my kids. | |
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/14/2005 12:13:21 AM | {As Frosty said...... Tons of things to keep them occupied. Exactly.}
Then mix in a lot of validation regarding what they are doing with it, and play with the child often.
A great book is...****** TRANSFORMING THE DIFFICULT CHILD****************** by Howard Glasser MA
My son is ADHD And behaves very ODD, but they say the ODD is attributed to his high intelligence.
I have always homeschooled and given my child (9yrs) tons of attention.
He is a whirlwind, I have to allowed him to do things most babies and children weren't allowed to, as he is/was VERY passionate about building things with motor, electronics and anything that required dangerous tools, (power included). So he needs constant supervision.
He hardly slept as an infant, he needed constant intellectual stimulation. I still cannot get him to fall asleep before 1 in the morn. I paid my dues.
I think it was worth it.
A lot of validation, I get my way more often when I stay calm and creative and ignore the tantrums in the heat of the moment. Creativity has saved me, he will go to bed for my outrageous stories. (of which I incorperate all kinds of learning, or behavior lessons using animals and invent) He will usually practice music for a good game of mommy moster (tickle session). I don't always do these rewards right away but he is finnaly clueing in that he gets a lot more validation when he behaves.
I only got the book a few months back, but it helped reinforce what I was already doing, and set me back on track as I found the worst to peak around his 9th b-day. 8 years old was a rough year. The tantrums and other inappropriate behaviors were getting too much attention. His father and I who don't live together but co-parent were being drained, and were finding ourselves losing patience, we became more supportive of each other. And relied on each other to rescue our difficult child before we turned into child abusers.
Now he is doing awesome. Seems to be able to pull out a tantrum.
And takes a little pride in helping.
There is a lot of asperger and ADHD in both sides of my family. Musical education is the best education I believe an ADD or Autistic child can have. They thought I was autistic as a small baby/child.
Hopefully some of this can help!
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/14/2005 12:36:34 AM | great stuff Elvinforcewoman!
Playing outdoors, climbing trees, building forts.
We went on a 12 mile bike ride sunday to a playground.
Also we do high protien type foods as much as possible and whole grain. And Tons of water.
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| ADHD children anyone?
Posted: 6/14/2005 3:13:00 AM | Hi, both my daughter and I are ADD. When one begins to understand exactly what it is, one can find a way around it. Lots of research needed. ADD and ADHD are completely different. ADD has to do with not enough dopamine for the neurotransmitters in the parietal lobe to work properly. ADHD has to do with something that is ? in the frontal lobe.
In most matters of ADD and ADHD, there are significant deficiencies and a diet that provides these missing factors (like Omega 3 fatty acids, L-tyrosine, etc.) will lessen the condition.
There are six different types of ADD/ADHD. Each is treated differently. You can google it. | |
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