| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:43:12 PM | Guys, please do enlighten us...
When you're dating a woman and not putting pressure on her for sex, is it because you're being a gentleman or because you're getting it somewhere else?
Just the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth please.  | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:46:33 PM | | It'd be because I don't believe in premarital sex. You'd need to ask a guy that does to find out a better answer to your question, I think. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:55:42 PM | | I only date 1 woman at a time, so it's not because I'm getting it anywhere else. I've never put pressure on a woman for sex, but I've noticed that saying no on the first date usually leads to having pressure put on me on the second date. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:55:46 PM | | Well it's definitely not the gentleman thing, but I don't think I've ever pressured a woman for sex when dating. Where else would I get it (other than manually) unless I was dating more than one woman at a time? (Which I've only done once, it's waaaaay too much work). | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:02:46 PM |
Where else would I get it (other than manually) unless I was dating more than one woman at a time?
Well, that's why I asked ~ someone asked in Ask A Girl if women thought a man was seeing someone else if he didn't pressure her for sex. That had never crossed my mind, so it got me to wondering and I wanted to get some input from ya'll. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:08:35 PM | You know, a guy just can't win. If you try to have sex and be all frisky, then you are a perv. If you don't try to have sex, and don't try to be all frisky you must be getting it somewhere else. I swear to God, I will NEVER figure out women, even if I live to be 100.
If I walked on water, you would say it's because I can't swim.
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:10:46 PM | I always thought that women wanted sex also... Why would anybody need to apply pressure when sex is supposed to be for the pleasure of BOTH the man and the woman.
That being said, I have had quite a few women try to pressure me into sex. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:14:25 PM | | I don't expect sex on the first,second or third date. I'm not looking for a hook-up but a relationship I've found that early sex is not the best way to establish one and I believe that the majority of women feel the same way from the many posts decrying sex crazed men. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:17:31 PM | | Everyone reacts differently. If I'm at all interested in going further, I'll lay hints and see how far the girl will "play along". If it reaches that point, then the two can be free until the other says "wait" or something. It's all about the respect and mutual experience for me (that and I don't like making the first direct move :p) | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:19:37 PM |
I swear to God, I will NEVER figure out women, even if I live to be 100.
If I walked on water, you would say it's because I can't swim.
I have never thought this way, Mr. Reason. I was actually surprised at the post I read in that other thread...Chin up, now. There are still some good ones out here.
I have had quite a few women try to pressure me into sex.
Get the front door! | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:25:29 PM | | 1st time POF dates, gestures toward sex are a huge warning. I would run and have. Sexual advances from a man that I know well and an am attracted to are ok. Its about common sense. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:34:37 PM | Another poster said it right; we gentlemen just can't win it seems. Did anyone take a look at the thread over in "Ask a Girl" that started this particular thread? Here is the final conclusion of that thread's OP, about a guy who usually dated two women at once but only had sex with one...
Because of this, I would think a woman might want a guy to show a desire for her, even if she has no intention of sleeping with him anytime soon.
How far is too far in this scenario? We're supposed to push a little, but not too much, and only the woman knows where the line is?? Damn, if I wanted to jump thru hoops I would have joined the fraking circus! Did it ever occur to the poor misguided souls who think like this that maybe the reason a man isn't trying to get into a women's pants right away is because he respects her, and likes her enough to be trying to form a more lasting relationship, one that's based on more than just sex!? The poor unfortunates with this sort of warped perspective on men and their motivations are likely the ones sitting at home with their self help books, reading about how to get a man by following some secret formula of rules and hidden agendas, and wondering why they are all alone with their cat and the pint of Haagen-Dazs.
Sane men and women let their relationships evolve at a pace that is mutually comfortable, whether its a second date or fifth or tenth, and have no problems defining those parameters with their partner. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:41:07 PM | I would not call it 'pressure', but on the first or second face-to-face date, I would let the woman know either verbally, through my behavior or through body language that I am interested in that aspect, just to pave the way for later. The total lack of such signs would indicate the opposite. I would like to think that those signs are more like a hint than a sledgehammer, but it depends on my mood, my creativity and my alcohol intake.
However, there are situations in which a non-date is agreed upon. In that case, the first date is simply deferred because this one does not count. No kiss, no move - pretty much like hanging out with a gay man minus the 'fabulous' comments. But if I like her, she will have no doubts about it when the wolf sheds his sheep skin. Or puts it on...  | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:42:33 PM | maybe the reason a man isn't trying to get into a women's pants right away is because he respects her, and likes her enough to be trying to form a more lasting relationship, one that's based on more than just sex
This is what I have always thought. I cannot say how many women think otherwise, but I can say I'm not one of them. The only thing I run from really is when a man wants sex right away (as in before he knows me). Otherwise, it's usually been discussed at some level, so I'm not left wondering and I make myself clear to him as well. You said it perfectly, Mr. Happily:
Sane men and women let their relationships evolve at a pace that is mutually comfortable, whether its a second date or fifth or tenth, and have no problems defining those parameters with their partner.
My original post wasn't intended to make men think all, or even most, women think that way....no no no. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:45:13 PM |
Well, that's why I asked ~ someone asked in Ask A Girl if women thought a man was seeing someone else if he didn't pressure her for sex.
What a MAN says to another women, thinks about another woman, does to another women HAS NO RELATION TO YOU unless you KNOW this other women personally.
If the two women are strangers, how the man treats each is totally independent. It doesn't matter if he boned the other women in his van parked in front of your house before he knocked on your door, he may STILL TRY to bone you in the kitchen.
WHY DON'T YOU ASK THE MAN what he is thinking instead of coming up with all these crazy-ass stories to scare your kids? | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:48:43 PM |
WHY DON'T YOU ASK THE MAN what he is thinking instead of coming up with all these crazy-ass stories to scare your kids?
I've never found myself in that situation, personally. That's why I posted my question here, TO ASK MEN. Oops....to ask men.
As for my children, they're all grown up, so no worries about scaring them. But thanks for your concern.
I'm liking the responses so far, thanks guys. (Well, most of them.) | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:03:24 PM | | define pressuring for sex. i dont run around with my ween out if that's what you mean, but some nice light sexually charged humor is a good way of going about it | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:07:02 PM | I'm not interested in it, therefore not pressuring?
Only an idiot would believe that it's because any guy is getting it elsewhere... I've actually heard lots of people that believe that theory and I can't do more than shake my head. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:07:30 PM | anyone who's somebody decent would never want to be "that guy" who is begging for sex, whether they want to or not. even if a guy is getting it from somewhere else, he still obviously wants to get it from you if he's dating you, so that's not the issue. its not that guys don't want sex when they don't ask for it, its just that we've been trained to not act like animals.
women complain when guys are asking, when they aren't... nobody's ever happy. if a guy does ask, he's considered a pig. if he doesn't, he must be getting it from somewhere else. women always find fault in something it seems. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:31:48 PM |
When you're dating a woman and not putting pressure on her for sex, is it because you're being a gentleman or because you're getting it somewhere else?
It's because I AM a gentleman, and am focused on her "Comfort" zone and safety. This is my priority. Good things come to those who wait patiently, and if not, then it wasn't meant to be. She will let me know when she's ready; I am observant and attentive to her.
The whole truth.
God Bless,
Scott.
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:37:00 PM | Sheesh, it does seem like a no-win for the men. 
Sex complicates a new friendship or relationship. Yes, at some point (sooner than way later) there is a time & place to see if you're compatible in that regard. But...too soon and you both are putting the cart before the horse.
Besides, inuendo and sexual tension is part of the 'new relationship endorphin high'...right? | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:37:14 PM | Why does it have to be black and white. Listen gentlemen need sex just as much as a player does. And ultimately if you offer he's probibly not going to turn you down.
Or on the other extreme all gentlemen are cheaters. Wow thats very sexist lol. So we are horny b******s or we're cheating liars.
Most guys fall in the inbetween where they think your stunning and want you physically as well as emotionally. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:45:08 PM |
Most guys fall in the inbetween where they think your stunning and want you physically as well as emotionally.
And this is all we ask. That's not too much now is it?  | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:54:24 PM | Because we know that bringing up the topic of sex will:
80% of the time turn her off, and she'll ASSume that it's all you're after. Even if she's the one that started the topic. These women should proceed to the nearest life recycling center to repair this defect.
20% of the time, she'll handle it like an adult and you won't get c-blocked by Jesus, or by her lingering scars of her overbearing parents/society. She knows what a "slut" is, and that sexual activity or thoughts about sex doesn't make her one.
If I was interested in someone, should I bring up the topic and risk losing her? Or should I not bring up the topic and have her question why I'm not bringing up the topic which puts me into the gay/friend zone or she thinks I'm not intersted. | |
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| When You Don't Try To Get Into Her Pants
Posted: 6/15/2008 11:35:23 PM | I've never put pressure on a woman for sex. First, I am not the kind of person to put pressure on another person. Second, it takes me awhile to determine if I really want to have sex with a particular woman. It's not exactly a risk-free and consequence free act. It also requires some degree of trust...
The use of higher brain function in this regard tends to make women think there is something wrong with me. | |
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