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Posted: 6/16/2008 10:56:01 AM | You sit there smug and satisfied
with the consequences of your lies
it's like you planned out a tradgedy
You have to make me miserable for you to be happy
So now I'm left seeing red in a very dark place
only thing I see is you when I see any face
and I have to hold back this murderous rage
Or I'm gonna end up locked up in a cage
Tell me that you love me You never showed me
I feel ugly but I'll show you how ugly I can be
While I watch you laughing having a good time
Your black heart emerged now it's time I show you mine
Until death do us part you said like you didn't care
I said with a tear in my eye a precursor for despair
I gave you a ring, I gave you an Idealistic soul
You took off the ring and in me tore a hole
My muscles are tearing while i strain to hold it back
while I turn more blue the more contol I lack
I want to make you feel blood boil from betrayal
I want you to live hurting from a wound that only feels fatal | |
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Posted: 6/16/2008 11:24:15 AM | | It's a great poem itstrang, very passionate, but if it's from the heart, then I hope you are soon thinking happier thoughts because life is too precious to spend it being bitter. When I'm pissed at the world I always try to remember how it must feel to be someone dying of cancer. I don't mean to be self righteous, but it really does help sometimes to try to see things from a different perspective. I'm sure you'll find someone who'll adore you just as much as you adore her eventually. | |
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Posted: 6/16/2008 12:31:13 PM | JT this is more raw for you than usual!!
Good to see you here and hope you're doing alright! | |
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Posted: 6/16/2008 1:58:16 PM | Chilling. Brother this is deeper than the combined minds on here. Time for some pro help before someone does something they will surely regret.
Greg | |
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Posted: 6/17/2008 6:06:33 AM | | Hey itstrang, that's the beauty of poetry I guess (though I've never been much good at it), especially when it is done well, and you are good at it, so she probably didn't deserve you. Just think on that, because everything in life happens for a reason. | |
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Posted: 6/18/2008 8:04:23 PM | Hung over again at work
shitting brick it's starting to hurt
no place to sit except in my car
5 dollars in gas wont get me too far
Just too depressed to go and drive
Wondering if I'm ready for another ride
I've got nothing to live of die for
Just tired of the cheap beer I can't afford
I just don't any misery again
So why would i want another girlfriend
Put out the cigarettes smoldering on my arms
No tears just defiantly doing myself harm
I can't please everyone or anyone
after she left and told me I'm dumb
alcohol fueled procrastication and mutalation
Just trying to stop this neolithic brain from racin
Lonliness and no home left to go to
Sleep on couches and my car when i have to
Spiteful of this race she put me back in
It goes to fast and at the end i'm not even placin
I just get stuck in between gears end up dead last
Can't yet repair the damage from the past | |
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Posted: 6/22/2008 7:40:00 PM | When the love goes cold and your blood runs hot
after you gave up everything to become what you're not
I look in the mirror dissapointed at what I've become
out of shape, scared, Broken and no fun
the dreams of yesterday faded away
just take every step forward always writhing in pain
I hate these feelings leaving my hopeless
She goes on happy to my situation oblivious
Love turned to hatred
Red turns to black
To the one which with I mated
I want my soul back
Hearts turned in to voids
passion turns into nightmares
you were simply annoyed
at how much I cared
I loved you
You just came along for the ride
When the God you believed in ignores all your prayers
and when you've used up the patience of all who cares
I look back to the time when I was able to be a good friend
look to the future seeing nothing hoping it will end
there is nothing that makes me feel anything good
You rubbed your happiess in my face whenever you could
and as I lay shaking think of your body with his
I remember the names we had planned for when we were going to have kids
Now I go out alone at the bar were we talked
I see the towns people and feel like I'm mocked
A shot of whiskey to burn away the flem in my throat
I hope the next shot will kill me but it probably won't
so five more dollars in the juke box one more sad song
Thinking back to the times when i did something wrong
wasn't I good enough with all the times I made you cum
Or was it all just faked, was it a lie to make me feel dumb | |
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Posted: 6/22/2008 8:11:27 PM | | Brilliant!! I enjoyed them very much. They are just empty expressions tho, not to be acted on right? | |
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Posted: 6/24/2008 10:07:39 AM | mr. strang...this is a difficult thread for me.... personally. hard for me to be anywhere near negativity, despair and hopelessness..and voice it you must, don't get me wrong, you are doing exactly the right thing....but to call your words crap, that hurts, that smarts, that wounds..... you are putting yourself down there in your pain.... i am not the holy roller, went to mass exactly once this year and not all that friendly with that traditional god guy...but he/she/it didn't hate you or punish you.... i rather think that the universe has cleared a new path for you, taken out the garbage for you, someone who didn't value you and what you had to offer is garbage Mr. Strang.... anyone with a voice like yours, a poetic soul, is a deeply feeling human being, courageous to lay it out here for all the world to see...that you were not valued and cherished is tragic, and the cosmic forces have taken over, wiped the slate clean, allowing you to bloom in more fertile soil, not a garbage dump.
I don't now if the moderators can help you with this, but i do wish you could change the name of this thread..... your words are not crap, you are not crap, life is not crap
life is sometimes pure pain
searing the eyes
and we are the little black holes
left over, blinded
but the gift of being a hole
is that now you choose
how to fill yourself
start with kindness
slowly add compassion
then forgiveness
soon you will be a
glorious meadow blooming
fragrantly reaching for the sun
much love to you mr. Strang...... and many many blessings | |
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Posted: 6/24/2008 12:23:02 PM | | Thanks for the kind words. But there are a lot better writers than me out there. compared to most, this is crap. | |
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Posted: 6/24/2008 12:33:11 PM | | the woods would be a very silent place if only those who sang were those that sang the very best...... your song is as important and lovely as any other. | |
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Posted: 6/24/2008 12:49:16 PM | so true silver
"no one reads this crap anyway"
I do and apparently 165 others too oops edit 171 damn *LOL* | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 7:40:06 AM | Look through the world with a childish vision
crying and screaming at everything that frightens me
on an 8 year bender on an alcoholic mission
fighting through the smokey room I can't see
Got a pain in my back been aching for years
and I can't move with out cringing
Got a pain in my temple full of fears
What will this world be like when I stop bingeing
How long can I can I hold on
to my sanity with all that goes wrong
Cheating women and ***hole cops
I think I'll take another drink until my heart stops
Self mutalion gets me put into an institution
Not unlike the one I was in when I was a kid
stiffle self esteem left with no sex just masturbation
punish my self for the mediocre things I did
clarence if I get my wings I'll fly up to heaven
Then I'll punch your God right in the face
He's failed me everytime i've asked for seven
instead I get a two in it's placce | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 8:08:58 AM | there comes a time
after you roll around in shit for awhile
that you gotta bring tha change on
yourself
put all doubt back on the shelf
that was just some shit put in your head
to make someone else feel better
you ARE a go-getter
a job doer
a gonna see it througher
so fvkin' go get it
Mr. I'm fvkin tough
haven't you had enough?
focus changed
still deranged
but another
day
lies there waiting
for you to stop
hesitating
you are what you eat
so stop devouring only the meat
choose your brain food with care
get outta that box
if you dare
maybe that piece of shit
you're chewin' on
was an answered prayer
all along
a motivation
stimulation
a convocation
of a new time
and a better rhyme
(if that's what you think you need)
you want it....go get it
do yourself a good deed
('cause ain't nobody else gonna do it for ya)
weathered souls
make good helping hands
once they pull there head outta their ass
and sort through the sands
of time
Hate was my maiden name
changed to Love
upon stepping out in the rain
and looking around, within, and above
sorting through ideas and ghosts in my head
there was thunder and lightening
but i ain't dead
far from it
you can get what you want
you just gotta become it
i ain't sayin I got it all figured out
but Hateful energy never did much good in my life
no doubt
(i'm feelin' your insanity....you feelin' mine?) | |
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Posted: 6/25/2008 9:14:03 PM | | I feel insanity always, and appreciate yours. Insanity is the only sane thing to feel in this world. | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 12:17:31 AM | Insanity they say
When someone takes
years of your life away?
Passion and feelings can
Run so deep...
and rage has a sinister kind of creep.
get it out of you brother
get it out if you can.
Keep runnin' this thread
'til its out of your head
Lets put this M'effer to bed...
Nuff Said...
By the way its nice of you gals to try and cheer a man up and encourage him... Makes me think there is still hope for humanity, in all this insanity and all is not vanity...
You are all wonderful people for that don't ever change... | |
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Posted: 6/29/2008 9:16:53 PM | Lost again on a poorly posted detour
left with an anger I can't cure
Where I turn next I'm not quite sure
so I'll make a blind guess
The road I was on led me to a comfortable home
instead I drive on and aimless I roam
No one to ride with and no phone
Just me in an interior thats a mess
And while you sit happy in your new home with a new man
I miss you and the love I used to have
I wish you were as miserable as me
On a tank half empty with no way to fill back up
I did the best that I could but I feel like I ****ed up
I wish you were as miserable as me
Is unatural to feel worthless when you've been betrayed
and hateful when your told it helps to pray
If I had to talk to God I'd have nothing good to say
If he interviened I wish he'd leave me alone
I try to slow down and look for direction from a sign
Loose sight of the road and cross the center line
When you got your new life i lost mine
I get distracted by the thought of him making you moan | |
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Posted: 7/1/2008 6:52:39 PM | | Crap is s**t, which your work definitely is not. Every word describes a thought, and every sentence explodes with emotion you are one of the most talented writers on this site and I hope your work is not only limited to this thread. Although it is kind of depressing, Silvia Plath wrote in similar text and was known throughout the world for it. If you really feel this way, getting it out through words is better than acting out your emotions and regretting them later. Beleive you are talented, and whatever tribulations you have been through in life was the window to express your gift. And what an amazing talent you have. | |
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Posted: 7/4/2008 11:33:28 AM | Like an old comedian
telling safe jokes again
hiding behind a smiley facade
I'm nothing more than a fraud
on a stage I represent discontent
Not even able to aford my rent
The intriguing view I had lost it
A tradgedy, stuck in slow motion
Feel like nothing, with out validation
The town I left, I left shunned
The way you hurt me seemed like a calculation
The woman I thought I knew
wasn't anything like you
the once warm personality
has turned freezing towards me
saying she doesn't want my touch
let it slide, loved her too much
going numb from revalion of who she warmed up to
bleeding in a cold room
seeing flashing images of you
not lucky enough to pass into the darkness
left heart broken wishing I was hearless
I wish I could have hurt you first
I wish that I could hurt you worse
instead I sit and soak in my tears | |
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| my story
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:40:28 PM | I packed her bags
and gave here the rest,
now I am starting over
and doing my best.
 | |
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| my story
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:11:36 AM | maybe it is time
to just write her name
on a wedge of paper
cry your last tear
hate your last fisted fury
suck out your last venom
and bury her in the earth
because
well
because it is summer
the sky is achingly blue
everything is growing now
not dying
not dead
not gone yet
you need to find your
boat of hope,
keel covered with
past bitumin and pitch
raise the sails
to find new fresh winds
that will float you past the past
allowing you to grow into a song
this is required of us
put that b1tch into the ground now
before she takes you with her
before you become a graveyard
of marble stone and dead flowers
you can only hold your breath so long | |
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