| When you like someone, what's the best way to get over nerves?
Posted: 6/16/2008 11:07:51 AM | | I recently went for a drink with a guy I liked from work and ended up getting so nervous that I kept rambling for ages and said all the wrong things!!!!! (Along with a few drinks I bet you can imagine how bad my rambling got!) Has anyone else had this happen and what's the best way to work past it? | |
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| When you like someone, what's the best way to get over nerves?
Posted: 6/16/2008 11:18:53 AM | Oh, I hate those nervous butterflies you get when you really like someone, but I make sure i've talked to them many times via email or phone before I actually meet them. That will help take some of the edge off.
Before you go, just think of some things that you would really like to know about that person so you can ask some questions during your conversation. People love to talk about themselves if you give them a chance and show you can be a good listener. Plus it will show them you are genuinely interested. Asking a person their favorite things can be a fun way to get to know someone and see if you have anything in common.
If worse comes to worse, just remember, they are just another human like you. They sleep, eat, poop and pick their nose like the rest of us. If you can imagine them doing something really gross, maybe that will help bring them down to earth for you.
Remember, first impressions are usually the most important. Don't overthink things. | |
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| When you like someone, what's the best way to get over nerves?
Posted: 6/16/2008 11:20:38 AM | | How awesome it is to have that nervous feeling inside just from being with a person. Try asking him more questions and make him ramble from being near you. Kind of cute how some people still get that highschool nervous dating feeling. | |
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| When you like someone, what's the best way to get over nerves?
Posted: 6/16/2008 11:22:15 AM | | Well I drink when I'm nervous and it's the first time in 4 years I've felt like that. Shame really - he was my trainer but he's gone on holiday for the week, and he's only a few years older than me. So he let me do all the talking as he'd been talking for most of the day. Which was a really bad idea!! lol Normally I don't really care what people think about me but people always seem to say the same thing - you're entertaining and weird, he said that too... lol | |
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| When you like someone, what's the best way to get over nerves?
Posted: 6/16/2008 11:44:31 AM | You are nervous because you perceive his value/status to be higher then yours.
His status is higher because you desire him.
Instead be desireless, see him as just every one else, and focus on having fun.
People are perceptive and can see when your trying to hard to appease or impress. avoid doing either, act like your bored and think of what you would normally do to make things interesting or fun with friends. | |
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| When you like someone, what's the best way to get over nerves?
Posted: 6/16/2008 12:06:31 PM | In most instances I find that most of my nerves are related to *expectations*. Examples for an 'early or first date setting' might be: I'm expecting that the person I'm meeting with is going to be THE one! I'm expecting an outcome from the meeting/date. I'm expecting that I'm going to mess up sometime during the evening.
If this is you too, to sooth those nerves remind yourself that what you are really doing is simply meeting another person for a nice time, go without agenda past that and enjoy the moment(s), oh, and indeed know that you're probably going to mess up - because we're all human and we do that - but it won't be the end of the world and hopefully it'll actually make material for good humor and memories (we don't want to date the perfect robots, we want to date humans! ). If you can just stay within the moment more, it will be less nerve-racking.
The only expectations that might then show up on the date that YOU can't directly control then, would then simply be those that your date might be carrying. .....in which case then, you might have nervousness caused by fear of not meeting their expectations. If however you've been honest in how you've presented yourself and in your interactions leading up to the date, you should find that these fears are unjustified....for if you've been honest, your date really is there to simply continue meetng you based already on a good start. ...and then just be yourself!
As for those 'butterflies' that show up on continued dates?......funny as this may sound - ENJOY those! (think about it......those are WONDERFUL to have reason to have! :-)) | |
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| When you like someone, what's the best way to get over nerves?
Posted: 6/16/2008 12:14:51 PM | There is nothing wrong with being a little nervous.
If a guy I am seeing doesnt thrill me, then I am just not that interested.
Fortunately, there are a million interesting topics you can ramble on about that won't make you feel like you said something dumb. Talk about something that interests you instead of yourself if you have the butterflies. | |
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| When you like someone, what's the best way to get over nerves?
Posted: 6/16/2008 12:23:04 PM | | I tend to talk about anything and everything - reagardless of what it may be cos I'm so random lol I'll just say the first thing that pops into my head. I stupidly told him I liked him too to which he said ok *long pause* I did sort of already know that because one of the girls who does training overheard you telling your friend in the girls toilet' How embarrassing! And he did say he found me attractive too which surprised me. But I am still willing to bet I won't hear anything back now as he said it best if I contact him when he gets back from holiday cos he's terrible at contacting people, they always have to contact him first??? Always the ones you like are the ones you make too much effort and scare away oh well..... better luck next time! lol | |
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| When you like someone, what's the best way to get over nerves?
Posted: 6/16/2008 4:02:19 PM | I think nervosity is one of the most honest feelings, and definitely tells you like the guy. I have the same problem, when I like a girl and I see that the girl might like me when we make conversation I just go "poof!! blackout" and I get all nervous and manage to say things which I wish I didn't when thinking about it afterwards  . So I started to focus on "keeping things cool", and listening rather then trying to "talk things right" all the time. I still make the same mistake, but I can see changes now. It worked for me, maybe for you? | |
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