| | A minute of your time to review my profile.Page 1 of 1 | Hi Everyone,
It would be my pleasure if a few of you kind souls would read through my profile and offer some suggestions. I have a few ideas about what I'd like to remove or add, however, I think it's already a little long. Please everyone, let's play nice!
Steve
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| A minute of your time to review my profile.
Posted: 6/16/2008 1:18:10 PM | Hello Steve,
I just read your profile and I see nothing wrong with it. You talk about your likings, hobbies and who you are as a person.. I would although not recommend that you add on to it, you are right, it is a little long and to my opinion, it is always good to give enough info about ourself to inrigue a person but also give them the curiousity of wanting to know more about you as well. I hope this helped a little.
Have a wonderful day,
N~
P.S. If you absolutely had to delete a paragraph, I`d take out the one in which you say you listen to music while you`re sleeping... | |
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| A minute of your time to review my profile.
Posted: 6/16/2008 1:19:14 PM | Hello Steve,
I have some thoughts about your profile; overall I thought it was fairly well-written and had a nice flow. You seem like a very gentle and thoughtful person.
You do have a couple of challenges with your profile though. A couple of things did strike me though, and that was the amount of detail the bogged down your profile a bit. For example, the reader won't need to know that you don't have a set bike path on your journeys - that statement doesn't add anything to your profile.
To be honest, I'd de-emphasize the "quirks" section. I'm not sure how often you're listening to music while sleeping or writing things down, but your commentary about spontaneously writing down song lyrics and dreams, makes you seem a little overly analytical. Does that make any sense? On the downside, it could be construed as slightly OCD. I only mention this because it brought back a bit of a flashback about someone I knew who was often writing down lyrics, thoughts, directions, ideas, and things to do etc.
Because the photographer is towering over you, your second pic makes you look a bit small and timid, while you're quite tall. And if you could find some pics of you with your shirt tucked in, that might work a bit better. I think that look (untucked) can work with a crisp long-sleeved collared shirt, but not so much with a golf-type shirt. It doesn't come across as quirkily stylish, but needing a little style. Apologies if this seems harsh!
I always find it interesting to read a bit about what people have or are taking in school. You could always make some mention of what you're taking in grad school.
G'luck! | |
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| A minute of your time to review my profile.
Posted: 6/16/2008 1:43:12 PM | Hi Naturelover36,
I did take that out, as that was originally what I thought should be done, however my friend thought it added flare. If you would read through it again, I did a few other revisions, so see if you still like it.
You have a wonderful day also and thanks!
Steve | |
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| A minute of your time to review my profile.
Posted: 6/16/2008 1:56:11 PM | Hi cheshirecatalyst,
Thanks for your suggestions, and no I didn't think the comments were harsh at all.
I agree with you on needing a different shirt, and I should have changed after work . We have to wear loose clothing in case we move anything around, plus I've ruined some nice clothing out there, so I wear things like that shirt.
I had a friend that just showed up, had her camera since we were headed to the lake, and said let's just take a few shots and get them on the profile. The funny thing is I love photography and shooting video, so I know how to take nice pictures and how to set up shots, I just didn't think of asking to direct her when she was having fun taking the pics.
I did take out what you said about writing down the dreams and lyrics. I have a few friends that do dream analysis, and I started when I met them, and just kept doing it I guess. As for the lyrics, I do love music, and I love it when I hear a new song, that's all, however I can see where the reader might think I'm obsessive compulsive. I also added a little school info, so let me know what you think if you get the chance to read it again.
Thanks!
Steve | |
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| A minute of your time to review my profile.
Posted: 6/16/2008 6:44:10 PM | Hi Steve,
I do like! I didn't mean to imply in any way that I thought you were OCD, it was probably a trigger or two I read in your profile that hit a little close to home for me.
But I think it is really a nice, balanced profile that's introspective and also makes positive use of humour (and no spelling errors either - the bane of a decent profile). I think it provides a good view of who you are personally and where you are going educationally.......
Best Wishes......... | |
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