| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 6:25:22 PM | Have noticed that when men write emails they very rarely ask any questions to the woman they're writing to. This makes it awkward writing back as you have no questions to answer and have to come up with something completely original to say.
Men often don't bother to sign their name at the bottom either so you know who you are talking to.
I think asking questions is vital to keep up the dialogue before going on a date. Is this maybe why women lose interest in guys and don't write back. Do guys think it might be a good idea to include more questions in emails to get to know someone? | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 6:29:30 PM | | To me I agree that questions and answers are a big deal in writing. It keeps the conversation new and exciting. However, I believe this is done just as easily with one or two questions then a response with questions of thier own. And repeat the cycle. | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 6:34:22 PM | I would say the same thing about many women. I'm glad to hear it's not gender specific 
Conversation is a two way street, if you're a person not happy with the number of responses you're getting, maybe making sure you're asking a question or two is a good place to start. | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 6:42:22 PM | | Maybe alot of the men you are complaining about want to ask you those questions in person. As in on an actual date. I know i do........ | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 6:45:20 PM | | In my case for ask few questions, I do not have have alot of questions to ask about. Most of the questions feel repetitive. If I feel conformable overtime with that person I ask deep world and unquestionable thing about life . That is me. I do not know the other dudes and bettys. | |
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vro312
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 6 | |
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 6:45:42 PM |
I think asking questions is vital to keep up the dialogue before going on a date. Is this maybe why women lose interest in guys and don't write back. Do guys think it might be a good idea to include more questions in emails to get to know someone?
I absolutely think this is one of the reasons that women stop writing back. It's too much work, especially when the man is the one who initiated contact.
No matter what, if someone writes to me, I respond. But I rarely get beyond two or three exchanges with anyone because I get bored with it. As much as they seem like nice people, I just don't have any motivation to get to know them better if they aren't providing some sort of spark. | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 6:54:45 PM |
Maybe alot of the men you are complaining about want to ask you those questions in person. As in on an actual date. I know i do........
But if they don't ask me for a date or a phone number then I can't ever go out with them.... | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:02:23 PM | some people really just prefer talking about themselves. I've been on dates that follow this pattern of conversation:
Luke: So how was your day?
Date: Well its started...[10 minutes later]...So I said to Alfred, you get your own sea turtle!! ahahah!
Luke: [looking at how pretty she is, and her cleavage] that was a great story, do people often tell you how interesting you are?
Date: ALL THE TIME! [beaming] You know i think that i have certain quality... [10 minutes later]...And that's why I'd never move to Ohio...
Luke: [picturing her naked] Hey would you like another drink? So tell me about your hobbies, what makes you happy?
Date: blah blah blah blah....[10 minutes] etc...
it is sometimes amazing to me how great a time someone can have talking about themself. But it's ok as long as it's worth it. | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:15:15 PM | Dialogue is dialogue. It's not necessarily about one asking questions, it should be about whether you find the exchange interesting enough to continue. What if a man asks LOTS of question but they're all the wrong questions ("How many dates 'til I can get laid," for example)? Would that keep a woman's interest any more than a man who asks none? One way to inspire someone to ask questions is to be interesting, yourself. Can you tell a good story? Can you bring your experiences to life as you tell them? Or are you relying on a somewhat mistaken notion that any man who is truly interested in you will ask lots of questions...about you? I mean, what if he asks questions but they aren't about you - is that good enough?
The problem is that questions can be a rote approach to dating. I've seen instances where people send out form letters that have nothing to do with the recipient as an individual. EVERYBODY receives the same questions:
-So, like, what are you into?
-So, like, what's your favorite movie?
-So, like, what's your favorite food?
-So, like, what kind of guys/girls do you usually date?
-So, like, what turns you on?
I'm not making this up: This weekend, the woman I'm dating said that she realized that she doesn't ask me very many questions. You know, I hadn't noticed. All I know is that we get together and talk like we're the best friends in the world, so I'm not keeping score. If it's good, it's good. | |
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snu164
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Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 10 | |
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:26:35 PM | Alright, I check out your profile and I can now give a more personalized answer.
Your profile only has 3 lines. How many questions am I supposed to come up with when I only have a limited amount of information? We need something to work with here too. (Maybe you make up for this in your emails, this is just an observation based on your profile) | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:31:11 PM |
weekend, the woman I'm dating said that she realized that she doesn't ask me very many questions. You know, I hadn't noticed. All I know is that we get together and talk like we're the best friends in the world, so I'm not keeping score.
That's kinda how I do things too. Like you say... it's about dialogue. Keeping the flow of a conversation going reveals much more about a person than automated questions and answers. You understand their communication style, how certain events shaped their lives, and so on. When I write, I write more than one sentence e-mails. If they can't find something in 3 paragraphs that they can respond to, then it's not worth my time neither. | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:45:39 PM |
...they very rarely ask any questions to the woman they're writing to. This makes it awkward writing back as you have no questions to answer
Here's a question:
Why must men supply you with questions to fuel the fire of conversation?
Men often don't bother to sign their name at the bottom either so you know who you are talking to.
Question:
Why must we sign our names? Are you suddenly uncomfortable using their online nic?
Do guys think it might be a good idea to include more questions in emails to get to know someone?
No we don't! ~ Why do most women eventually convert everything into the same formula as Oprah's talk show (a series of endless questions)? | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:54:19 PM | I do, but they never get answered!
Do you have three phase power?
Does your underground telephone cable employ a metal sheath?
What is your Differential Axle Ratio?
As far as the women, it seems to go from one extreme to another!
Either no questions or a full page!
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vro312
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 14 | |
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 7:57:57 PM | Here's a question:
Why must men supply you with questions to fuel the fire of conversation?
Question:
Why must we sign our names? Are you suddenly uncomfortable using their online nic?
I'm a firm believer that people should not do things they don't want to do. If you or anyone else doesn't want to ask questions or sign your real name, that's absolutely acceptable. Still, I do think one of the reasons I get bored and stop writing back is that the initial messages are not interactive enough, or I don't feel like the guy succeeded in getting me interested in him in the first couple of messages; and I think that's what the first messages are *for*.
Diversity is what makes the world go round, or some crap like that. I'm totally okay with there being men out there who feel that in their e-mails they should not have to ask questions or leave their names--I'm just not really into that type of man.
There are men who *do* ask questions and leave their names, and I find they are more my type. They are easier to deal with and besides, I'm a sucker for polite behavior. Everyone I've remained in contact with beyond three e-mails has had been a good conversationalist, has asked questions, and has given me his name without me asking . . . which is good because I wouldn't have. | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 8:18:14 PM | This makes it awkward writing back as you have no questions to answer and have to come up with something completely original to say.
You do realize that your are complaining to a bunch of guys about the exact same thing they have to do each and everytime they initiate a conversation with a woman they don't know.
It's cool, I agree with you. But you know.... | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 8:26:35 PM |
I'm totally okay with there being men out there who feel that in their e-mails they should not have to ask questions or leave their names--I'm just not really into that type of man.
But you really have no clue as to what kind of man that is or is not. Are you really judging a man first and foremost on his letter writing etiquette skills?
Don't take my word for it, but so many women just set themselves up and they don't even realize it. | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 8:41:47 PM | I certainly wouldn't say that chemistry is possible in this online dating venue!
However, there seems to be something similar going on, and when it happens,
there is a connection established that one can feel! Spooky, kind of!
Because, although I have changed my profile numerous times, and it used to
have some VERY unusual subject matter dealing with the Metaphysical!
Even when approaching someone of similar interest, or vice versa, this
wasn't enough to create successful dialogue! It is discouraging to say the
least! | |
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vro312
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 18 | |
| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 8:50:03 PM | But you really have no clue as to what kind of man that is or is not. Are you really judging a man first and foremost on his letter writing etiquette skills?
Absolutely . . . that's important to me. Plus, there are enough men that get me interested by being polite and intriguing that I don't feel I need to *try* to be interested in the ones that aren't particularly polite and *don't* intrigue me. But I always write back and thank them for the message regardless.
Don't take my word for it, but so many women just set themselves up and they don't even realize it.
Set ourselves up for what? I'm not wanting for anything, and I'm always grateful that I have met so many kind and interesting and sexy men in my life. I've recently met another one that gives me butterflies, and I feel very fortunate.
You do realize that your are complaining to a bunch of guys about the exact same thing they have to do each and everytime they initiate a conversation with a woman they don't know.
I know this wasn't directed at me, but I completely understand that it works both ways: There are men who are hard to talk to and there are women who are hard to talk to. A few years ago I made a commitment to myself that I was going to live a simple and happy life. Part of living that life entails setting boundaries . . . one of my firm boundaries is that I will not try to force a connection with someone. I don't have my profile visible because I don't want to deal with all the awkward attempts to connect. This way, only men from the forums contact me, and since they're in the forums, they tend to be able to communicate well in writing. Plus, they *always* tell me their name. | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 10:07:25 PM | We ask few questions because we already know all the answers.
That was obvious...
Asking questions makes us look like we are not omniscient. If we start asking questions durring a date... then we will have to start asking directions when we get lsot.
Not happening.
Sorry.
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 10:17:05 PM |
This makes it awkward writing back as you have no questions to answer and have to come up with something completely original to say.
Um...........................that's the point, miss.
We want to hear something ORIGINAL instead of the tired pap you have trained yourself to answer on reflex. How can we discover the "real you" if you are simply spitting out memorized lines for every occasion? Is you life a Hallmark movie? Is there anything unique about you at all? You should say it while you have a guy's attention, instead of lamenting it later when he never calls you back.
"He never got to know the REAL me." --- Because you never said anything. | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 10:22:53 PM | Sorry, but this is a generalization forum. 8-10 women I speak to, never give their name. Not even after several emails.
As for asking questions???
I don't. Not many anyway, for if I am talking to you, it is as if I am talking to a new kindred spirit, and human being at a concert, grocery store checkout or what have you to imgine. No motives, just comfort and friendliness.
I am a reciprocal empath, and I respond to whatever you send.
Only when I am inquisitive of a certain aspect of you, will I ask a question.
Otherwise, I just dwell in the presence. Happy to be a part of yours.
But that's just my opinion, I am sure their are motives behind why it's done; I'm just not aware of many.
When they don't ask questions, then you need to. A simple Yin-Yang balance of responsibility as I see it.
Don't be so gender specific in your curiosities.
Empathize.
What ya thinkin now?
God Bless,
Scott. | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/16/2008 10:24:46 PM | I ask a lot of questions. When I send a message I normally ask at least something. Ironically, it seems like the ones where I just make a small comment and don't really expect much out of them that I get responses to (no questions).
I find it really awkward and hard to think of a way to respond with no questions so I try to avoid causing that problem when messaging people.
When it comes to actually talkig to someone (after that first talking or whatever), I like to ask questions, random crap that comes to mind. I try not to too much because I don't want to be an annoyance or anything. | |
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| Why do men ask so few questions?
Posted: 6/17/2008 12:24:12 AM | Playing 20 questions is quite boring. I would rather have a two way conversation. If things fall to the wayside I will ask questions based on the conversation to keep things going but I would hope she would do the same.
You might want to put a bit more information into your profile as there isn't much there to query on aside from the volunteer stuff and the 3 other lines of information there.
I agree with you 100% that the lame "Hi" and that is it emails are annoying but having interesting information in your profile will help that process along. If they still can't then count it as a free filter for you. | |
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