| Help out a single-dad friend who could not see his kid on fathers day
Posted: 6/17/2008 12:11:39 PM | Most people talk about dead-beat dads but what about jerk moms?
I have a good friend in Va who has visitiation rights every other weekend. He went to pick up the kid at daycare before fathers day weekend and the kid was not there. He found out through a mutual friend that his kid was out of state with her mom's family. His ex-girlfriend does not return his calls. He went to the county police but they said he had to go file in court. He called the court but they said he needed to make an appt. How does he prove he was at daycare and the kid was not there if the police do not document? How does he go to court without paying a lawyer quickly so he does not have to wait another 30 days before he gets a court appointment? I thought both parties had to follow court orders or they are penalized? Help please! | |
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| Help out a single-dad friend who could not see his kid on fathers day
Posted: 6/17/2008 12:24:05 PM | | Well the problem is a court order is only as good as the paper it's written on if the people involved don't want to abide by it. To answer you question about proving the kid wasn't there have the administrator of the daycare write a letter on official letterhead stating that the child was not there when your friend showed up to pick them up. I can't speak for Va law but in every other state I've been in there are always guidelines written in the document that clearly defines the terms of the visitation. If she has violated that order then the courts can find her in contempt of the order which could result in fines, imprisonment or both. Most attorneys will give a free consultation so he can figure out what steps he wants to take next. | |
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| Help out a single-dad friend who could not see his kid on fathers day
Posted: 6/17/2008 12:48:07 PM | He needs to file the paperwork for an emergency custody hearing. He can also get the daycare to document that he was there to pick up his child and the child was not there.
But if she won't comply with the custody already in place, more than likely she will only get worse. | |
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| Help out a single-dad friend who could not see his kid on fathers day
Posted: 6/17/2008 12:49:27 PM | | Hello, I spent over a year in court fighting for custody ten years ago. The one thing I learned without a doubt is you have to have a lawyer. The courts are run by lawyers, They all talk their own language and don't respect DIY's. I had a "dream team", cost me probably 10 grand. I got custody, she got nothing. My friend went to court the same time representing himself, he's still to this day living in his car and working 40 hours a week. | |
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| Help out a single-dad friend who could not see his kid on fathers day
Posted: 6/17/2008 3:54:30 PM | He doesn't need to file for custody, he need to file a Motion for Contempt with the court, he can file Pro Se, simple enough, doesn't need an attorney.
Just draft the motion, attach a copy of the original Final Judgment, or Mediation Agreement as an Exhibit, and reference the section that addresses the visitation schedule within the text of the Motion.
He can go on-line to the Clerk of Courts website and probably find a form there, or go on-line and look up custody forms for his state.
Also, he needs to look within the text of the Mediation Agreement or Final Judgment to see whether or not the mother needed to obtain his written consent to take the child out of state, if she did, he can get her on that too....
Attorney's are definitely needed during a divorce, especially one that is contentious, but the agreement is already in place, she violated it, simple undisputable fact. | |
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| Help out a single-dad friend who could not see his kid on fathers day
Posted: 6/17/2008 6:48:27 PM |
How does he prove he was at daycare and the kid was not there if the police do not document?
Did he talk to one of the day care workers? If he has a court order, or if they know he picks up the child every other weeked they should be able to give a written note advising that yes the dad was there... but the child wasn't | |
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| Help out a single-dad friend who could not see his kid on fathers day
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:00:10 PM | | Most daycares also have a sign in/sign out sheet. If his orders state something similar to mine, he has a right to daycare and school records pertaining to his child. He could ask for a copy of the sign in/out sheet for that day to prove that the child wasn't there. If they try to give him some b.s. about not being able to because of the other children and confidentially laws tell him to request the names of the other children be whited out. If they still give him hassle, tell him to tell them in a "nice" way that if they don't accomodate his request he just might have to subpoena the director and/or the sign in/out sheet for that day for court. Trust me, schools and daycares want to avoid being involved in court matters and are usually accomodating once they know they might have to testify in court. | |
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| Help out a single-dad friend who could not see his kid on fathers day
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:10:42 AM | I did not read all the responses on here but I'm kinda going through the same thing just a role reversal. My Ex husband was suppose to get our son on fathers day, which was also my sons birthday, he is no longer allowed on my property so we have to meet and the PD. I was there on time with our son waited 15 min. in the parking lot and went in and filed a report. I did this to cover myself. Legally (the cops said) that i could have him locked up for contempt of court. But i dont want to take it that far. You can't make them see their child if they don't want to. So i document everything. Also i keep a certified copy of my divorce papers in my glovebox of my car. For whatever situation i come across. And this has come in very handy.
Sara | |
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| Help out a single-dad friend who could not see his kid on fathers day
Posted: 7/3/2008 3:49:38 PM | As Funone said, get a written letter from the daycare, they obviously know he was there to pick up the child and the child was gone.
Also, good advice from Juzlookin, follow what she wrote and you will be fine including that no lawyer is needed when an agreement is in place. Both parents are likely required to have parental permission to remove the child from the state and allowing her parents to take the child over Father's Day weekend was just a shitty thing to do. | |
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| Help out a single-dad friend who could not see his kid on fathers day
Posted: 7/3/2008 6:45:03 PM | | no advice just make sure he documents everything . that was terrible of the mother to do at least he wants to be a part of his childs life. tell him to hang in there she should be held in contempt of court but not sure if they have that there in va . | |
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| Help out a single-dad friend who could not see his kid on fathers day
Posted: 7/3/2008 7:56:47 PM |
Legally (the cops said) that i could have him locked up for contempt of court
the cop didn't know what he was talking about, you cannot have a father locked up on a contempt of court charge for waiving his visitation. If you are the primary residential parent and he has visitation, he is legally entitled to see his child, however he is not legally obligated to do so. Crappy way the law works, but who would want their kid to be with someone who doesn't want to be with them anyway.
Custody issues are civil, the police cannot do squat, it all has to go to Court. And before someone can be locked up on a Contempt of Court charge, a Motion for Contempt has to be brought before the Court, and a hearing held on the issues at hand.
It is very rare for incarceration to happen in a custody issue, on the other hand, anything to do with physical or sexual abuse of a child is a different story, that would be a criminal charge that the police would get involved with, if only at the beginning of the incident, until DCF is brought in and an investigation launched.
Sorry for the textbook lesson, long day at work, I deal with this all day  | |
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| Help out a single-dad friend who could not see his kid on fathers day
Posted: 7/3/2008 8:20:10 PM | I'm not sure about in VA so you'll need to do a search for VA family law and the county it is in but in NJ, someone can represent themselves by filing a motion with the court to enforce parenting time and can do so without an attorney. It's a pretty simple form to fill out and usually a small court fee to file it.
He should also be documenting anytime this stuff occurs and she prohibits the visitation he has rights to. Keep a journal of it and be ready to cite specific times and dates in court. | |
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| Help out a single-dad friend who could not see his kid on fathers day
Posted: 7/3/2008 8:56:02 PM | | It could easily take longer than 30 days...my kids "jerk mother" is completely in contempt due to harrasment.(police reports to back me up).I filed for contempt.. she filed for custody.. I've had full physical custody for 1 1/2 yr...now Im paying for my lawyer, kids ad-litem, kids counselor, and since the court reinstated a psych. eval. for her...she asked for on on me..($2k).. her rich parents will pay for hers. I will shell out about $8k...and I was the victim?? | |
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| Help out a single-dad friend who could not see his kid on fathers day
Posted: 7/9/2008 11:42:53 PM | juzlookin
your right on this... i spoke with my attorney on it. i don't know on the rest of it though. he's already in contempt of a court order by not paying me the money for half the bills that he left me with.... i talked to my lawyer on this as well and they want to keep him out of jail... go figure.... he had 3 months to pay it.... any input on this would be appreciated.
Sara | |
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