| Memories
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:34:07 PM | This was written by a friend of mine and sent to me. Sometimes the first impression we make upon an individual can have quite an impact over the course of their lives. This is one of those instances. I look back upon this with great fondness...
I would like to tell you about the first time I met Lee and how it changed my life.
It was many years ago, and I was a much younger man. I did not really know how the world worked and had not seen the darker side of humanity. I was very idealistic and believed that one person could make a difference. A friend of mine was involved with a group from his church that did a lot of charity work in different communities. He suggested I join them in their effort to make people's lives a little better. I gladly took him up on the offer and reported the next day to the local community center to get my assignment.
When I arrived I could fell the electricity in the air, the place was buzzing with young, eager people like myself ready to make a difference. It was amazing! I had never seen anything like that then, nor since. I was quickly given my assignment and briefed on the details. I was going to Agnews mental hospital. Growing up in this area, I was familiar with the name. We would often joke about the place "You're mom is in Agnews, the nut house!" and so on. As a child, it was just a funny place where crazy people were housed.
I drove out to the hospital. As I pulled in I said to myself "What a depressing looking place". The buildings were old and had a dirty off-white paint job on them. The trim was cracked and rotting in many places. As I walked to the main office I noticed how poorly kept the grounds were. There were bushes and trees that had not been trimmed in quite awhile, the only benefit the poorly kept yards gave, was to hide some of the dilapidated buildings. As I walked up to the office I heard a rustle in the bush next to the stairs. What caught my eye was a cat. A tabby I think, the cat was full of mange and had what looked to be some form of eye infection. His face was slightly swollen and his left eye was weeping fluids. The cat quickly ran back into the bushes, and let out what I can only describe as agonizing meows. I went inside and told the lady at the counter who I was. She asked me to take a seat and someone would be out to show me around.
As I sat in the lobby I could hear what sounded like screams in the far distance. I thought to myself " Those cant be screams, its too many and to often, probably an air conditioning unit or something. This place is old". After reassuring myself that this was NOT some house of horrors, a man stepped up to me and said "You ready for the tour kid?" This man was a giant, he had a heavy build and was at least six four. He was all dressed in white with only a black belt giving his uniform any color. He had large, worked hands, like the hands of some of my father’s friends that were gnarled and calloused from years of abuse. The man’s face was hard and devoid of any emotion. I had read stories about characters with "cold eyes". But I had never seen any in real life until I met this man.
He introduced himself as Bob and led me off through a locked door and into the facility. I was horrified to learn that those noises were in fact screams and they only got louder the further in we went. I turned to Bob and asked him "what's wrong with those people?" He smiled and said "they're crazy!", he then let go a quick belly laugh. It was then I realized two things, Bob was not made of stone and for a brief second his face had the ability to show emotion. Also, I would not be asking Bob any more questions. I was just starting to get used to the screams when another guard let us through a set of locked doors. My senses were assaulted. it was a blitzkrieg of smells and images and louder screams. The odor made me ill. I had to pause and lean on the wall for a minute. The smell of human waste and filth was everywhere, mixed with the choking odor of bleach and industrial strength solvents. I quickly gathered myself and pressed on with Bob.
We would pass patients just freely walking around, some in hospital grounds and some with nothing on but their own filth. One man was just sitting in the corner slapping his own face, another was randomly yelling and screaming for help. I was dizzy with the smell and the horror of what I was seeing, some patients would grab at me, Bob would quickly pull their hands away and tell them to get back in their room. I suddenly found myself on the ground, not noticing a patient that was on all fours that I tripped over. Even though I had tripped over the man, it did not stop him from repeatedly licking the corner of the wall. Bob yelled "God damn it Lee, I told you to stop licking that wall!" Bob helped me to my feet and took Lee back to his room. I stood there in the middle of all this madness and got my first real life education of mans inhumanity towards his fellow man. When Bob returned I told him I was ready to go, I could not get out of that place fast enough. I did not make it to my car before vomiting into one of the bushes. My head was spinning, I was quickly losing my rosy outlook on life. My idealistic beliefs were now all in question. I was never the same after that day, my outlook on life and other people had forever been darkened.
Looking for my lithium,
Sil. | |
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