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 Alan1400
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 1
Guys that us POF chat.......Page 1 of 1    
I chatted with a Lady on POF and she was telling me that many guys on POF use the chat in a wrong way. That is, they start a chat in a nice way and then it gets very sexual and want untasteful pictures sent to their Email.
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Is this true? I know most men are not vulgar and rude on POF, but does this happen some of the time?
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Another thing, what do you Ladies like to talk about, and does it bother you when the guy types slow and has bad grammar?
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Is it easy for you to give open and honest answers in a POF chat, other than in person?
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LAST, are you the kind that will be the first to start chatting with a man? Or would you rather have him start?

Thanks for your wonderful time.
 laughinglibra
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 2
Guys that us POF chat.......
Posted: 6/19/2008 4:25:07 AM
Hey Alan....

Yes, there are many men (and women, I'm sure) that use the IM feature to get their rocks off. That is why a lot of women I correspond with have their IM turned off... we're a little tired of being innundated by pervs.

Some of the time? When I had my IM turned on, it would happen at least once every time I logged on.

For chatting, if he has let me know that he is not good on a keyboard, I don't mind at all. As long as he is keeping up his side of the conversation, it does not matter to me.

Regarding the open and honest answers: I am that way wherever I am.... online or in person.

When the time comes to chat, it has been mutually decided between the two of us. I recommend you start with a message first and see how it goes from there.... many women do not enjoy the chat box just opening up from someone they have never heard from.


 Alan1400
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 3
Guys that us POF chat.......
Posted: 6/19/2008 4:52:43 AM
Sounds to me that it would be a good idea to Email first and ask if it is OK to IM on POF. I do not feel the Yahoo or MSN IM is the place to chat with "New POF people" until it maybe gets t the point of being comfortable and something "Clicks" with both involved.

Bottom Line RESPECT is needed by both parties.

Thanks
 dosomething
Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 4
Guys that us POF chat.......
Posted: 6/19/2008 5:56:18 AM
The POF chat feature is just not very good. It connects slowly, freezes up, is just blah in general. I suppose I feel really happy and refreshed if a guy does NOT talk about sex and actually wants to know stuff about me, and shares information about himself. I want to know what he does all day, what his hopes and dreams are, what kind of person he is. Some of these things just take time. And sometimes you click conversation wise and sometimes you don't. I'm an extremely fast typer but I don't mind to chat with a slow typer if I really like him. It's that magic click you can't explain though, that makes for a good chat buddy.
 *~Krysteene~*
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 5
Guys that us POF chat.......
Posted: 6/19/2008 8:40:02 AM

Is this true? I know most men are not vulgar and rude on POF, but does this happen some of the time?
I have not had this happen, but I personally think the content of the woman's profile and the nature of the pics posted precipitate this kind of thing. Not always though. Some men will do it regardless.
.

Another thing, what do you Ladies like to talk about, and does it bother you when the guy types slow and has bad grammar?
Conversations about mutual interests are always a good place to start. It doesn't bother me if a guy is a slow typer. Not many guys are good at it anyway. Bad grammar? Good grammar is always a plus in written communication.
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Is it easy for you to give open and honest answers in a POF chat, other than in person?
Yes. No more difficult than any other form of communication.
.

LAST, are you the kind that will be the first to start chatting with a man? Or would you rather have him start?
I would usually wait for him to make the first move, but I have contacted a few first.

Have a great day,
Krys
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 6
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Guys that us POF chat.......
Posted: 6/19/2008 8:57:31 AM

Yes, there are many men (and women, I'm sure) that use the IM feature to get their rocks off. That is why a lot of women I correspond with have their IM turned off... we're a little tired of being innundated by pervs.

This is precisely why mine is for favorites only. Not only are there a lot of pervs wanting to talk about their willies, there are very young guys who like to "play" with the "old" ladies. Give me a well written email any day.
 Bellydanza
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 7
Guys that us POF chat.......
Posted: 6/19/2008 11:36:06 AM
Ok I have had this experience where men would IM me...some outright sexual, others were nice then got sexual. Some once they realized I wasn't interested got rude and ugly as well. I turned that feature off.
I think there are women who engage in this with men, and then there are some men who just like to ''shock'' women, and others just desperate losers with nothing better to do with their time.
But I've also had many email conversations that went down this path....and I've even moved some conversations to another IM service and then they quickly went downhill.
I've been told my photos are too sexual time and time again, i've been told I show cleavage and should expect harassment, although when I walk through the mall showing cleavage I don't get harassed. Yesterday, I saw a woman who had humongous breasts, and in every photo she had them sticking in the camera, and in some she was holding them up and pushing them together in a very porn like fashion. Her profile said she was not looking for dirty chat, no cyber, no webcamming and that she wanted to find a man of substance for a long term relationship. NOW that is when I can see the lines are blurred for a man.
But most women on here have tasteful photos and while some do show a little cleavage they are not blatantly sexual.
 sweetcurvyloving
Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 8
Guys that us POF chat.......
Posted: 6/19/2008 1:06:54 PM
Is this true? I know most men are not vulgar and rude on POF, but does this happen some of the time?

Heck yes!! I've been messaged by a lot of pervs - I just ignore them. If we are chatting and they start in with the sex crap I close the window. One guy in particular opened the chat and his pic was his cam and he was jerking off! I told him he was a coward if he couldn't wait for a woman who actually wanted to cam sex with him - I am not that woman.

I like to talk about life, family, friends, experiences, what we like.

grammar and slow typing don't bother me at all - I tell people spelling doesn't on IM.

I'd rather the guy message me.

Hope this helps you understand a little bit more.

Good luck in your search.
 Bellydanza
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 9
Guys that us POF chat.......
Posted: 6/19/2008 1:15:43 PM
My standard response to the idiot's who put in their penis photo or open the cam to themselves jerking off is ''is this supposed to turn me on, sorry but seen one penis seen them all.'' I'm sure a ''wow, that thing is small'' might get them as well. LOL. Or better yet....''hold on my gay male roommate wants to check you out as well."
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 10
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Guys that us POF chat.......
Posted: 6/19/2008 1:44:23 PM
Krys, I can't believe you haven't experienced this. I hope you never do, but the odds are against it.

OP, a woman doesn't even have to be hot or have sexual pics for this to happen. My opinion is that the anonymity of the internet makes some people "brave" enough to do things they normally wouldn't do. Unfortunately, it happens a lot.
 ang65
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 11
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Guys that us POF chat.......
Posted: 6/19/2008 2:29:09 PM
I dont' like chat. I like to have time to read and ask questions when I am first making contact with a guy so I don't want to be constantly typing stupid stuff like, Hi, how are you, good, ok , yes, etc. Also there will be several guys that want to chat at the same time, who wants that, I don't. And some people don't know when to stop, there comes a point where a person wants to sign off.
 bbp
Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 12
Guys that us POF chat.......
Posted: 7/9/2009 12:51:22 AM
i like guys that are fun and respectful i have not met too many guys disrespectful the odd few but mostly not
 bbp
Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 13
Guys that us POF chat.......
Posted: 7/9/2009 12:54:50 AM
i like men lots so i have no problems
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