| Looking for advice...
Posted: 6/19/2008 8:51:15 PM | I've been on PoF for a few weeks, and as of yet, I just haven't been able to make that "connection" yet with anyone. I speak the truth on my profile, and I'm honest and straightforward.
My question is, what is it that girls look for in a profile that attracts them to it? I can't change my looks, my opinions, or my thoughts, so is there something I'm missing? | |
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| Looking for advice...
Posted: 6/19/2008 8:58:25 PM | The most glaring things I can see right off the bat are:
1) Your headline is a complete downer... no girl wants to chase after a man who is about ready to give up, they want the exact opposite!
2) Your age restrictions are very narrow, which might be your thing, just keep in mind that's a narrow range and limits who can contact you first. | |
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| Looking for advice...
Posted: 6/19/2008 9:04:15 PM | You work fast. In two weeks you are on POF, you are about ready to give up.
And it is really good you tell them that in headline and in opening paragraph. Just so that you scare most of them off right away. And those hardy few who might still survive your headline and looking at the pictures (A Simpson character? You really think that will work?) run into the 3-year range that you set for someone to even be able to contact you. 19 to 22, eh? And must be willing to contact you, because you certainly are not expressing any interest in contacting her.
Oy! | |
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| Looking for advice...
Posted: 6/19/2008 9:31:23 PM | Hey Yev did you miss she must also live within 75 miles. OP, in all seriousness, you can't expect to get any mail like that. I would be willing to bet that there are less than a couple hundred women, to could write you even if they wanted to. You need to rethink your settings.
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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| Looking for advice...
Posted: 6/19/2008 9:35:14 PM | Thank you all for your suggestions, and I've taken them to heart. I will say that regarding the "75 miles" thing... with gas being what it is today, I feel a bit restricted.
Oh well, thanks for the help, and keep it coming! | |
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| Looking for advice...
Posted: 6/19/2008 9:40:48 PM | As far as the '75miles' thing -- keep in mind that some women may browse your profile, have a friend in your area who they think is perfect for you. . .and not be able to contact you b/c of the silly mileage restriction. You'd be miles ahead (pardon the pun) to remove the restriction and screen them manually as they come.
JMO | |
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| Looking for advice...
Posted: 6/19/2008 10:26:44 PM |
My question is, what is it that girls look for in a profile that attracts them to it? I can't change my looks, my opinions, or my thoughts, so is there something I'm missing? Oh yes, hell yes. It's your MO.
Right off the bat, I would like to make it known that I do not make first contact with anyone. I believe that a girl has every right and power to make the first move, and I respect that in a woman. So, if you would like to get to know me, the ball is in your court. Although, if I add you as a favorite, that may be a hint that I might be interested in you ;-). Entitled much? Most of the women who have looked at your profile have clicked the back button before reaching the third sentence. Remember this; there are at least three times more men on this site than there are women. Your target audience really doesn't have to work that hard and you just put yourself at the end of the line.
- T | |
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| Looking for advice...
Posted: 6/19/2008 11:24:01 PM | Ok Rx, here is the Rx for your profile.
(please don't hate me)
You come across as a wuss. I know its been said, and it certainly isn't fair, but it is TRUE. Women seek out the hunter/gatherers. You come across as wanting to stay home stirring the pot.
Wishy washy guys are not appealing. Do not say you want her to make the first move. Yech. Have an idea about the first date. And do not, I repeat DO NOT, show her that as soon as you are in a relationship you are going to be a panty waste.
It is simple. Delete these things from your profile. Show a woman how you would pursue her. Let her know she would be special. But don't show her your under belly.
Try again and post back. Trust me on this.
Good luck. | |
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| Looking for advice...
Posted: 6/20/2008 1:09:20 AM | You really need to get rid of the first paragraph. You come across as a very high maintenance man.
The bit about loving your job was great. People who love their job tend to be happier. | |
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| Looking for advice...
Posted: 6/20/2008 2:32:32 AM | i would delete this paragraph below. Think back when Luke Skywalker met up with Obi one kanobi and together they travelled to find Han Solo. If they could not be bothered to make contact with him then the Galaxy could have likely fallen into rebel hands.
I could have just said, you need to make first contact with women.
Right off the bat, I would like to make it known that I do not make first contact with anyone. I believe that a girl has every right and power to make the first move, and I respect that in a woman. So, if you would like to get to know me, the ball is in your court. Although, if I add you as a favorite, that may be a hint that I might be interested in you ;-).
You say below that you are not ready for a long term relationship and yet have long term on your profile so what do you mean by this? Either or i would delete also as it is un-necessary. It is something you can work out easy enough when you meet or chat to people but upto you of course.
Even though I'm not ready yet for a long-term relationship, I'd like to be able to have that "long-term" feeling back soon. If we meet and we hit it off, anything's possible.
Pictures are good and not a bad headline so gratz in that sense
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| Looking for advice...
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:32:49 AM | Ok so, for my twopenneth, I'd say the following:
1. Don't ask the girl to make the first move. You need to do that. At the very least don't say it in your opening paragraph.
2. You say you're not ready for a long-term relationship, but your preferrence at the top is for exactly that! Don't limit yourself this way, until you meet the woman who knows how it will turn out?
3. Be more assertive. State boldly what you like and what you are looking for. Instead of going into detail about paying for nights out or make-up, just say that you're a gentleman. That should be sufficient. | |
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| Looking for advice...
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:38:28 AM | OP, while your pics aren't dreadful (have seen worse), 3/5 of them show you wearing sunglasses. Please step into the shade and remove them, then take a nice tight headshot for your main, and perhaps a full body shot in a different situation/getup.
HTH | |
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| Looking for advice...
Posted: 6/20/2008 9:12:02 AM | | Thanks to everyone for your help! This is greatly appreciated!!! | |
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| Looking for advice...
Posted: 6/20/2008 12:14:32 PM | | One thing I'd like to mention is your age range is a little restricting, only 19-22. I'd consider bumping that up to maybe 25. Couldn't hurt! | |
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