| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 6/20/2008 3:42:48 PM | Received this from a Friend a few Years Ago
Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Body: In our quest for happiness we must be sure that
we don't settle for a Playmate when God has a Soul
mate waiting for us. Sometimes this is a hard
distinction to make.
Playmates are tricky. They are so much fun to be with
that even the smartest of us will be fooled into
thinking this has to be our Soul mate. Worse yet, too
many of us attempt to make a Soul mate out of a
Playmate. The danger of this is that later (after
years of playing) we will meet our Soul mate, but it
may be too late then. We may have already made a Life
mate of our Playmate and created life-long bonds
(emotional, children, etc.). Or we may have been hurt
from playing so hard that we are in no shape ourselves
to be anyone's anything.
How can we distinguish between The One, and just
another one? First, we must be open with ourselves
about who we really are and what our soul yearns for.
Only you and God know what is truly in your heart and
mind. Only you know what will make you truly happy and
whole. In order to find your Soul mate you have to
know you, first.
You must be willing to listen to that inner voice. And
is that voice telling you that the nerdy person you
enjoy talking and sharing your thoughts with, could be
he? What about that friends who is always willing to
go the extra mile for you when no one else will. Oh
no! He's too short or too tall, balding or too hairy,
and on and on? Just too ordinary looking for me! Then
there's that girl who makes you feel so special when
you're around her, but she doesn't match that ideal
you have conjured in your head. She's too tall, not
slender enough, not light or dark enough, not shapely
enough, not attractive enough, and on and on. She just
couldn't be for me... He or she is going to treat you
like the jewel that you are. Not only that, his or her
soul and yours will commune in ways you never imagined
possible!
In order to heed that voice, we have to put on the
back burner our own superficial thinking. Could it be
that your inner desire is for a truly genuine person
with a good heart?
If you enjoy playing, stay on the playground. There
are plenty of Playmates out there to occupy your time.
But don't spend too much time playing or you may play
your life away. Eventually the playing loses its
appeal and your soul begins to crave a deeper, more
meaningful connection.
Your soul begins to crave your Soul mate. | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 6/20/2008 3:45:37 PM | | Well said. There are many happy fun playmates in the world. Meet too many to remember. In the end playmates grow boring and do very little for me . After a while the playmates all blend into one generic woman. I want the soul mate. The woman that is intersting , complete , will grow with me and will accept me as I am. | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:28:06 PM | | I got this message ....I hope it was great and sent it on ....my daughter has it on her 888ce!!!!lol | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:48:03 PM | Gary Gary Gary...  The message this brings is what some of us really needed to hear.   
Thank you!!  | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 6/20/2008 5:00:46 PM | | Gary, that is absolutely beautiful! POF ought to use that on its homepage actually. Keep those good posts coming! | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 6/20/2008 5:19:22 PM | | I wish I had seen this a few years ago, might of saved a lot of heartache....... | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:50:04 AM | | I'm just not clear on why the soulmate can't be the playmate?? I fully expect mine to be both. My soulmate will be the person I love to sit and talk with for hours but at the same time have amazing playtimes with as well. | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:18:10 PM | So what came first ? The playmate or the soulmate? Think about it. Once the parameters of a realtionship are established does it make a difference if we are playmates or soulmates first and desire to take the next step to a complete relationship. Once the die is cast are we limiting ourselves? Can we over come the first moments of the relationship?
I would like to think so. I wonder how often it happens? | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:27:10 PM | I have a soulmate that was a playmate to start with. I am very glad that things progressed the way that they did. It gave us both a chance to know one another before we took that next step into something far more serious.
While I agree that our way of doing things isn't for everyone, what I do say about it is this.
I knew about all of his little quirks and he knew mine before we moved to a more serious level and got intertwined in the way that we are. I knew his bad habits and he knew mine. We knew each other well and were willing to accept each other just the way that we are.
To me this is a very good thing in that there are no surprises. | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:44:28 PM |
I knew about all of his little quirks and he knew mine before we moved to a more serious level and got intertwined in the way that we are. I knew his bad habits and he knew mine. We knew each other well and were willing to accept each other just the way that we are.
I agree with you SilverIon, I like to get all of that stuff out of the way before we can become serious. There are certain things that are very important to me in a relationship that I'm not wanting to wait for 6 months or even a year to find out about and then realize I'm unhappy and need another solution. | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:59:24 PM | Gary,
1st off … I agree with what many others have said … great topic & great advice!
I was married very at a very young age & stayed married for 30 yrs until my divorce 4 yrs ago. When I began dating about 2 yrs ago my first priority was to find my soul mate & begin a new relationship. While the last 10 yrs of my marriage were difficult, the wonderful memories of the 1st 20 yrs completely overshadowed everything else & made me yearn to have someone special in my life. Those feelings have not diminished … I still miss not having someone special to share my life with.
However, what I discovered was that after yrs of putting my own life on hold while I was married & making the wants & needs of my wife & children my first priority; I sort of lost myself in the process. So when I unexpectedly found myself single at the age of 50, I also discovered I didn’t really know myself all that well. O the past 4 yrs have been a journey of sorts to discover who I am. I’m still in the process of doing that today.
Another thing that I discovered that as long as I was focused so intently on searching for my soul mate, I was missing the joys that the everyday opportunities offered me. So I sort of changed my approach. I changed my status on POF from “long term” to “dating” and decided to enjoy life to it’s fullest each & every day & let everything else take care of itself. So I guess you could say I am enjoying the playmates I meet & hoping to recognize my soul mate when she comes along. Along the way I am learning a lot about myself. Yes … it’s even possible to do that after the age of 50!
“A soul-mate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys that fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each of us unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that person we're safe in our own paradise. Our soul-mate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our directions is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soul-mate is the one who makes life come to life.”
~Leslie Parrish, 'Bridge Across Forever'
Thanks For The Beautiful Posting,
Gary | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 9/21/2009 5:05:35 PM | This is an example of one of Gary's (gentlegiant) beautiful sentiments. I thought it would be a nice gesture to bring it back again for the newbies to read.
A good reminder of the difference in soulmates vs. playmates. | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 9/25/2009 11:02:31 AM | That was beautiful I am speechless after reading that. I am sure it will ring true for many others just as it did for me. Talk about food for thought...I'm going to be digesting those words for a very long time. Thank you. | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 9/27/2009 7:11:17 AM | | I think that was beautiful. And so very true. Somestimes it's not easy to recognize your soulmate. It takes going through the playmates, both good and bad in order to appreciate "The One." Then you thank God every day that you found each other. | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:21:41 AM | I just stumbled across this thread and it was great to read Gary's beautiful post..Gary...I miss ya!
IMO...A soulmate is someone who you recognize, instantly, when you look into his/her eyes. This person brings out the very best in you and vice versa. There is laughter and a special form of communication only the two of you share....there is a hunger to be close to that person when u are apart....there's a sense of ease...total peacefulness...when u are together...
I know that there is someone out there for me...
I say...Bring it On!!!! | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 10/23/2009 3:14:23 AM | | It would be interesting to hear what people think a soulmate really is. What is a soulmate to you? Is there really such a thing as just one soulmate or could there be more than one? And ultimately, do you think that a soulmate just happens or could one be developed if you give someone enough of a chance? | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 10/23/2009 6:10:31 AM | I would also like to hear what everyone thinks the definition of Soulmate is as well.
I do feel a relationship can be developed if you give it a chance. Is there such a thing as a PERFECT match?
If people have walls built they may never find the ONE they are looking for.
Playmates are OK if the people are honest and up front about it. Some people just don't want that commitment. Maybe that should be one of the choices you can chose on your profile. I'm not sure I like the term intimate encounter... LOL | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 10/23/2009 8:13:35 PM | I thought I would look up some information about soul mates to add to this discussion. The dictionary defines the word as: "One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity." But most articles describe this as a "profound" connection between two persons, one complimenting the other surprisingly not so much in being alike but each adding to the other what the other does not have.
I like to think of it as looking at the other part of your soul when you look at your soul mate. However, this has to be in the context of honestly being that and not simply by aligning yourself to what the other person needs or wants. I thought I had found my soul mate once, but found that the person was not honestly representing himself. But this was enough of a taste of what that might be like if it had been true that it gave me an understanding of the concept.
The author, Richard Bach, describes soul mates as "A soul mate is someone who has the locks to fit our keys, and the keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we; we can be loved for who we are and for who we're pretending to be. Each of us unveils the best part of one another. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we are safe in our paradise. Our soul mate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soul mate is the one who makes life come to life. " | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 10/23/2009 9:38:54 PM | ^^^^^^Excellent points...I believe that soulmates do compliment each other by bringing to their mate what he/she lacks. There's a profound sense of peace and ease and when u look in your soulmate's eyes, u can actually FEEL that person's soul....you can talk endlessly, agree most of the time....and laugh and laugh!
I agreee that a person should not align themselves to what the other person needs or wants...a person should not pretend to be something they are not....pretty soon the other person figures it all out anyways....
I, too, thought I found my soulmate once upon a time...but career, "friends" and life got in the way....he just wasn't meant to be....but it was close enough that that's how I know, as well, what it feels like...... | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 10/25/2009 11:35:08 AM | There is one thing that I am left wondering about after a recent relationship turned out to be based upon deception. And I will be open here and ask this question, hoping to receive some helpful answers.
What part of us is involved when we think that we have found a soul mate? Obviously, somebody can connect with that "part" by means of deception, making up a fantasy that fits. Is this part an ideal that we have formulated? Have we formed preconceived notions of who fits that and have radar operating that zeros in on someone like that?
All I know about this "part" is that it is a motivating factor in my life to seek a particular someone. It aches for that person all of the time and cannot be fulfilled even by men with wonderful qualities whom you would think would be a good fit. This has been a life-long quest to find that particular person, but it was only touched upon temporarily but not legitimately. I never thought that part could be fooled, but it was.
Can we change this part? Or even modify it a little? Could it be overridden and have it therefore change its shape over time?
I think the answer to these questions would make a big difference in many people's lives. | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:49:20 PM | | Historically there are myraids of accounts regarding conversions of spirit, soul, personality, and all generally took place over time; however, there are instances of immediate changes. This is an under researched topic, probably more popular in Freud's time, and discounted with the advent of growing technology. | |
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| Soulmate Vs Playmate...
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:44:20 PM | | I'm sorry, I just have to say I have always found the suggestion of "soulmates" to be totally preposterous. It's not that I do not believe people can connect on such dynamic and intimate levels, but that there's nothing special about the fact that people do so. It just seems to me that someone with a proclaimed "soulmate" could just as easily say the same about an entirely different spouse/partner/significant other given a change of minor circumstances. That just seems to defeat the whole point. | |
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