| Have at it...
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:25:31 AM | Inspired by Deuce (or Ace, or whatever he's calling himself now...)
I've been kicking around this site for a while, and I'm generally happy with my current profile and the messages/responses I get. But it's been pretty much the same for a while now. Does it need some updating? (Yes, pictures could use some updating, and I intend to take care of that shortly.)
At the moment, there are a number of outstanding Reviewers giving input in this forum (both recent additions, and the many who've been hanging around as long as I have - or longer!) So I thought I'd strike while the iron is hot, and get feedback from the many people whose opinions I value.
Thanks in advance. | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:31:42 AM | TO Woman,
You have definitly given your share of good advice to others and deserve the same.
I will do what I can and leave it up to you to determine its "goodness".
I never did get your name, and now I see it must be TO for Toronto, Ontario.
I wondered at first if you were addressing only women and that perhaps you were gay. Other Canadians would probably get it just fine!
I love the headline!
I tend to prefer a "less is more" approach. From reading your profile, I got discussion, food, NBA. It seemed those three things seem to meander throughout most of the paragraphs. I think you can make those points concisely and save some room for more "meat". From reading your posts, I get much more depth.
It may be just me, but we are of similar age and I am not a fan of someone our age devoting a paragraph to the music they enjoy. If you want to mention a band or song or two, fine, but this may be a way to shorten things up a bit.
Now about the guy. He should like discussion, food and the Raptors, right ( I keep getting images of Kate Hudson in "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days")? Although you did use a couple of other descriptors, I felt you could go into more depth here. Maybe discuss more of his character. I am thinking a Clark Kent type for you, but that is just my imagination run amuck.
Your pictures are beautiful and you present an engaging persona.
Hope this helps. | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:46:38 AM | I would recommend filling out / adding to your profile the chemistry and needs assessment test results, so they show up in the boxes at the top.
Your Ron Hawkins interest isn't a link, so it's not searchable, up to you...
You say you truly enjoy living in Toronto, but didn't list anything specific about Toronto that you enjoy, and I was expecting that to come next here. Why do you truly enjoy living THERE.
You might want to expand on the paragraph where you describe who he is, and his personality, etc... It's lacking depth and could use some more descriptive words I think.
Some people may think you should lose the ASCII art, I don't personally think it adds anything, and alot of the times I tend to think the person on the other end of a profile may be a little loopy and they type to send those silly forwards about Microsoft donating $1 for every yada yada yada
I think your first date could stand to be a little more specific, but as a female you get let off the hook a little easier here ;)
I think for hte most part though it was well written and you did an excellent job conveying YOU.
Just my .02 :)
Enjoy!
-D4GL | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/21/2008 8:10:40 AM | Tronto, your pics are great. I like the variety. And the breakfast pic juxtaposed with the eveningwear...nice subtle message there! (Seriously)
Ms Kaka (nee) mentioned specifics about your town. I've been there, it's a great place. IIWY I'd be listing my favorite stops on Younge Street and the Science Center and my favorite cyclery. (Feel free to check out what I did for my favorite city.)
As a sometime journalist (the published kind) I really appreciate your way with words. And punctuation. And spelling. And grammar. Likely this helps weed out the text-speakin' young 'uns.
HTH | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/21/2008 8:10:45 AM | This is Sooooooo obscure, but then, you don't need the basics.
Your main pic; when I open your profile just now I realized you are WAY better looking than I thought... I've been noticing you face on these very threads, and thinking...'hum, little odd looking'. That is NOT what you want to happen in the thumbnail browsing world of POF.
For some reason the graphics storage database or whatever POF uses is pinching this picture when it creates the thumbnail. It is making the aspect of the borders all wrong, and it is definitely working against you.
I have zero idea how you fix or change that, but know there is a problem is the first half and all that.
**Enjoy your criticism style btw
PS I just looked at some of teh other pics on your prof and same thing... the pic in the red dress looks bad as a thumbnail because its condensed horizontally, but when i scroll acros it for the full sized version, your a knockout.
Research this immediately... pic are critical for mens brains. | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/21/2008 8:17:32 AM | I think you should cut 3 paragraphs off....too long. When I see a man's profile that is equally as long I move on to the next one.
Love your testimonials AND your pictures (you LOOK so happy, fun, and game for anything)!!
Have you really been on here for 2 years????? | |
|
| Thumbnail help
Posted: 6/21/2008 8:32:54 AM | Square pic aspect ration: cropping a pic to be the same horizontal and vertical dimensions makes it look much better in ThumbnailLand.
(For examples, check out my own big-@$$ tuba and my "DT GR on the bridge with bike" shots. The horn is very vertical, and I can't fix it without a hacksaw. The bridge pic is exactly 3" x 3".)
HTH | |
|
| Thumbnail help
Posted: 6/21/2008 9:04:31 AM | Thanks everybody for the replies so far - some great stuff that I would not have noticed myself. I need to let it percolate for a few days, and try to answer that age-old question: "What do I really want?" 
LowAcapella - I've tried cropping the two pictures you mentioned. Do you see any difference? I can't say that was something I'd noticed (squishing of pictures), but then as you say - men's brains are different! (And gawd love 'em for that.)
More feedback is always welcome - it's really quite fascinating to hear how we all see things differently. | |
|
| Thumbnail help
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:06:41 PM | YES YES YES!
Exactly. IMO crop about 10-15% more to hit it.
Its already a HUGE improvement.
:) | |
|
| Thumbnail help
Posted: 6/21/2008 2:23:56 PM | | I really like your 5th picture, the oen with that big ol' smile that makes me want to smile too, and the beach behind you. Perhaps it would make a good main pic? | |
|
| Thumbnail help
Posted: 6/21/2008 2:26:48 PM | Thanks DFGL - I was actually thinking about that myself earlier. Now that it's summer and all... can't hurt to give it a new look.
Cheers!  | |
|
| Thumbnail help
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:31:17 PM | Maybe I am just used to it more, but I liked the old picture better. The smile there is more subdued and gentle, sure, but it is a lot more natural. The picture on the beach to me looks more forced.
Only you know what you really look like, but based on the photos posted, the beach photo looks like an "outlier". If you told me "all of those are photos of me, except for one which is a lookalike", I would point at that beach photo as the one. It also makes your face look wider than other pics, which is not the best look. The original pic is still the one to use, IMO, except I would consider cropping it closer, so that the face is same portion of the picture as the beach one. | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:56:32 PM | Hi TW, finally got here to shred your profile, let's see what I can find to rip up.
Good humour; banter; the "meaning of life" discussions - these are all ingredients for a great conversation.
Good homour: Just the fact that you "northerners" spell it differently, does not keep my eyes from crossing when I see this in a profile. First of all, how may people do you know that do not like good humour? My guess is not many, this would make you exactly LIKE everyone else, a profiles whole purpose is to describe what makes you DIFFERENT from everyone else. Second of all, there are MANY different types of humour, you have not told us which types you find most appealing. See, I even tried to spell humour properly so this would make sense.
Either hanging at home, or out and about.
Yes, if you are in, then you are not out, and if you are not out, then let me see, hmmmmmm, you MUST be IN. Guess what???????? DELETE
get together with friends,
At least my eyes are not crossed here, but I really do not think this points to your uniqueness either. I think it pretty much goes without saying.
I enjoy meeting like-minded people who are bright, articulate, and irreverent.
This is just a thought, to me, likeminded, means someone that has similar core beliefs/values about life. It may mean something different to you. Were you refereing the 3 descriptive words when you said "likeminded"? If yes, according to my perception of the word likeminded, it doesn't match. My point is this, if you were not, I do not recall seeing anything in your who you are, about beliefs/values. If you agree with my definition, that means saying "likeminded" is pointless, because we do not know your mind, mostly only what you like to do.
First date: the possibilities are endless.
Yes, we are all aware of this, it is a waiste of space. DELETE
After reading your profile, other than the "common interests" connection, I really have very little idea if you might like me, or if I might like you. Try to spruce up both the WHO you are, and WHO you are looking for sections.
Other than that, I enjoyed it, I thought it was a good read.
Best wishes
OFCB | |
|
| Thumbnail help
Posted: 6/21/2008 9:34:30 PM | Thanks Shadow for your response - some of the things you mentioned are things I have wondered about, so it's great to get such specific feedback.
I agree with you... I personally think my previous "main" picture is the best suited for a main picture. The challenge of cropping it even closer is (as I see it), is dealing with the background ... currently there is a hand. It might be creepy/odd/bizarre if there was only half a hand!
I believe I've seen you offer Photoshopping help to others on this site - is this something you might be able to help me with? | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/21/2008 9:42:20 PM | | Thank you OFCB for your feedback. Good points, and I will consider each. | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/21/2008 9:52:58 PM |
Thank you OFCB for your feedback. Good points, and I will consider each.
You are very welome!
Best wishes
Jerry | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:17:37 AM | | I've uploaded a "closer-up" version of my main that was kindly sent to me by another reviewer. What do you all think... better? | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:10:17 AM | Yes, much. You are the focus without a distracting background
Mind you, you are photogenic so you could probably switch pics often if you would like. | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:29:05 AM | By the time I'm done with this review, I expect Deuce to chime in with a "WTF?" for not ripping you a new one. Oh well, here goes my reputation as a tough ol' basterd.
Headline:
Yours is my alltime favorite here on PoF. I smiled widely when I first saw it and if you ever dump it, I'm totally stealing it.
Pictures:
Again, among the best I've seen. I agree with the above poster who said you look so much better on the profile than on the thumbnails. If you think about it, that's usually the opposite effect for many of the women here. This is just a personal opinion as I'm a big fan of tank tops and sports bras. - slight shoulder fetish. Is there a version of that pic that shows more of your physique? My only criticism of the photo array is that there is nothing depicting your build/stature. Great smile, though. It would be difficult to suggest which one to replace with a body shot.
About Me:
It's a little long. If I were in your area, I'd probably send a note based on the pictures alone, thereby missing some valuable insights into your personality. What to keep/delete? Keep it all, but save some for a future revision. In the meantime, employ the inverted pyramid used by the Fourth Estate. ASCII art and quotes are a bit of a peeve, but you're hot, so you can get away with it <-- Bias card played.
First Date:
It is a bit of a copout, but copping out is more forgivable for women. I'll give you that one. On the other hand, OH NO YOU DIDN'T just boast about kicking my butt at pool! So you mean on our first date, I'll have to hand you my balls on a platter? I mean, I'd give em because you're hot, but don't make 'em like they're a cover charge. This joint with the pool table, does it have a wide-screen HI-Def TV, maybe playing a Raptors game? If so, you can have the pool match, due to the fact that you're a b-ball fan. <--- guess I should have told Deuce there was one of those in the deck.
Testimonials:
The proverbial double-edged sword. First of all, the entire array is populated with dudes and hot women. If your male reader gets that far, he wonders "What's with the sausage factory and which one is doin' her?" and/or "Who's that hottie?" All in a the opinions in the testimonials are all tainted (of course they love you) and therefore unnecessary.
- T | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:51:54 AM | Rose - thanks for the feedback (and compliment!).
Sonic - thanks for the detailed reply. Several of the things you mentioned I have wondered about myself... along with some of the earlier feedback, I have a good idea where I should make some changes.
You can steal my headline if you want - I'm not possessive in that way!  Another friend of mine on here helped me come up with it (and a few other earlier editions). She loves to tell me that I have a quip on my shoulder...
OH NO YOU DIDN'T just boast about kicking my butt at pool! So you mean on our first date, I'll have to hand you my balls on a platter?
Pretty much... | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/23/2008 6:25:42 PM | I've tried to tinker with it a bit. Is the Toronto descripti0n any better?
The problem I'm running into is this... for everything that has been suggested to change/delete - I've had at least one good response to (ASCII art, description of music, etc). I can see both sides of the story... I guess I need to think about what sort of response I really want.
Does it come across as being unapproachable? I've had that suggested to me also. Probably because I'm not very specific in what I'm looking for. | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/23/2008 6:57:02 PM | Hi TO
"Probably because I'm not very specific in what I'm looking for. "
Bingo!
I read your profile, and thought to self..."but where's the guy?"
"I am always interested in meeting new friends, and if something more should develop... well, that could be fun!"
From what I understand reading profiles and profile reviewers, guys need things clear. This is a bit indirect.
I don't think you need to spell out who you are looking for, unless you have a specific idea. Just tighten it up a bit. (what would you say to that realllly cute guy you'd like to spend a bit of time with, eh?)
Mostly, maybe this puppy needs a "creative rest" period, so you can come back and look at it with fresh eyes. It's good. We're not going to carve it in stone. Oh! are we?
(I need a confused scratching head smiley, so I'll give you this.
 )
twwr | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:46:26 PM | Thanks Rose - I appreciate the feedback.
If the truth be told, I think I really don't know what I'm looking for! Thus - difficult to put it into words. As much as I hate being a cliche, I am pretty much content with my life at the moment, and "don't need somebody to complete me", etc, etc, blah blah blah.
So the truth is that I'm not "actively" looking. I believe I'm ambivalent. On the fence.
Which is not really very appealing in a profile, I suspect.
So how does one express it? Any time I try to put it into words, it sounds horrible!! So I've gone with "vague" as the lesser of two evils. | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:59:29 PM | Hello TO
(well, I almost made it to bed.)
What I am saying , or at least think I'm saying , is giving a bit wider opening. Hmm, how to put this. (I know what I am seeing, just can't quite grasp and explaination.)
OK, this is probably really nit-picky.
"I am always interested in meeting new friends, and if something more should develop... well, that could be fun!"
It's oblique.
You're just not s- a- y- i- n- g "Call Me!" in your own words. Oh, geesh! something like..."I'm always interested in meeting new friends. Are you one?" or "Let's find out if you're one!" Something inviting and not tacky.
My hunch is it might be a bit edgy for you to be that direct with an unknown guy. Face-to-face, look out, y'll speak your mind. But to the unknown?
And as I said before this may just need a bit of a rest to settle. Clear the dust and see what comes thru'.
twwr | |
|
| Have at it...
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:10:44 PM | Thanks for the response Rose.
I'm glad you tried to "spell it out" for me, because I was truly having trouble seeing it! But now I think I see where you are going. I'm being a bit too passive-aggressive. Probably true.
My current profile does in fact work well for friends. But you've made a good point - if I want "more than friends", I should make that a bit clearer.
Thanks again. That was helpful.
PS - and your idea of a "break" is also a good one. Let things percolate... | |
|
Home
login 
