| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:08:47 AM | | I was at a POF party at a bar tonight and noticed a couple of people on the dance floor about my age (50ish). Anyways, both of them were extremely good looking people and not only that, they were having a ball out there. It was like everyone in the bar was drawn to them. We had some food for the POFers and this couple was noticing it, and I went over and talked to them and told them to help themselves. I ended up talking to them for the next couple of hours and they were just as much fun as they had looked on the dance floor. Anyways, the bar closed and they bid me farewell in the parking lot and disappeared into the night. When they left I kind of felt depressed. It was kind of like the Wizard of Oz, when they were there everything was in color, and when they left everything went back to black and white. I have rarely seen people in my age bracket light up a place like that. I am still trying to figure out how 2 people can be that "alive" and make everyone else feel mundane. Anyone ever have this kind of experience or have any clues to what set these people apart from everyone else? | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:19:53 AM | It's called "great sex".
Sometimes we go to dinner before, sometimes after. But we're always wrapped up in each other, laughing and giggling and it distracts the waiters. Sometimes they smile, sometimes they leave us alone. On rare occasions they stutter. Sometimes they surreptitiously listen in to our sex talk. Sometimes the other customers do, too.
I suppose it looks like "love" to outsiders. | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:31:03 AM | I suppose that great sex could be the reason they were so alive. That would definetly make you feel more alive, but I think it went beyond that. They actually were not all that lovey dovey with one another. In fact, the guy insisted several times that I take her out on the dance floor. They did not seem very possesive of each other but more like confident of the unshakeable bond between them. I really am quite envious.
This couple looked and acted like people you would encounter at a Hollywood party, not in a dive bar in the suburbs of Detroit. I just wonder if being that good looking just gives you some kind of aura or something. Though I have met extremely good looking people before that were about as lively as a brass doorknob.
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:52:03 AM | | Some people truly love life and they bring that feeling to everything they do. It radiates from them and people notice it. They live each day to the fullest and are outgoing, happy, friendly people. They are a joy to see and be around. They can brighten up the darkest night. Too bad there aren't more like us around. LOL | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:23:08 AM | 50 isn't old in upper income brackets. They may not have been locals. They may have been somebody in town for business who stayed over. Possibly a dual-career couple. Urban, upper-middle to upper class, intellect, education, years of high-level career success. Those people have control over their incomes and their destiny, and they are relaxed and confident. They are free to spend money on themselves to make themselves look their best. Cosmetic surgery would not be unheard of. Those people were the norm and were my co-workers in the last town I lived in. A 50-yr-old class act would not be an uncommon sight, lol. As soon as I moved to decayed Milltown where it's been boom/bust and mostly bust for 25 years, I started seeing worn-down, slovenly, shabby, and mundane 24/7. Someone who earns $15/hr + OT is big money. I've had to considerably town down my looks, my attire, and my jewelry just blend in. I have no problem believing that Detroit can't look as mundane as any dead, decayed place in America. (No offense.) Personally, I get really sick of shabby, shabby s#$t.
If you go to any prosperous city like Dublin, Ohio, find the business professionals' watering hole, you'll find droves of people like the ones you described. They are not factory workers, and they are not small town family people. | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:27:17 AM | | " kind of like the Wizard of Oz, when they were there everything was in color, and when they left everything went back to black and white" --- LOL. Coming back to shabby Milltown after a weekend in say, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, or Columbus, or even Charleston, WV always gives me the same feeling. I find myself rolling in here at 3AM b/c I 've put off the return trip as long as possible. | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:51:25 AM | | The right thing to do is despise them and envy them because they were having fun and you weren't. Do not say they were good looking or that they were good dancers. Say they looked like stuck up phonies and attention whores. That will make you feel better about shyly hanging back in the shadows afraid to cut loose. | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:05:10 AM | charisma is often used to describe an elusive, even undefinable personality trait that often includes the seemingly 'supernatural' or uncanny ability to lead, charm, persuade, inspire, and/or influence people. It refers especially to a quality in certain people who easily draw the attention and admiration of others due to a 'magnetic' quality of personality and/or appearance. Related terms and phrases include: grace, exuberance, equanimity, mystique, positive energy, joie de vivre, extreme charm, personal magnetism, personal appeal, "electricity," and allure, among many others[1]. Usually many of these specific qualities must be present within a single individual for the person to be considered highly charismatic by the public and their peers.
Despite the strong emotions they so often induce in others, charismatic individuals generally project unusual calmness, confidence, assertiveness, dominance, authenticity, and focus, and almost always possess superb communication and/or oratorical skills. Although the etymology of the word ("divine gift") might suggest that charisma can't be acquired, and despite the persistent inability to accurately define or even fully understand the concept, it is believed that charisma can be taught and/or learned. Others[who?] disagree with this assertion and maintain that it is an inborn trait, or acquired through growing up, and that it cannot be learned, taught, or 'gained' at will.
The word charisma (from the Greek word χάρισμα (kharisma), "gift" or "divine favor," from kharizesthai, "to favor," from kharis, "favor": see also charism, Charis) refers to a rare trait found in certain human personalities usually including extreme charm and a 'magnetic' quality of personality and/or appearance along with innate and powerfully sophisticated personal communicability and persuasiveness. | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:18:25 AM | ForumFilly, I totally agree with you.........I'm even older than the two people spoken about on this forum, and also a solo, and to be honest, my life has never been so good. I have less responsibilities, more money.......in fact, I can almost do, exactly what I want with my life, and at present, I'm having a BALL. | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:45:57 AM | As possibly the oldest poster on here I am exactly like that couple. It's about attitude toward life.
Takes me back to a wedding I was at and the grooms aunt thought I had excessive energy from drinking a little too much (I never drink alcohol by the way) because I never left the dance floor. lol And I thought drinking made you act stupid not energy inducing.
OP..........Being a positve person and loving life is the key. Dont envy others........be them..............become your own light in the world............ | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:59:14 AM | When ever I go dancing, people watch and compliment. Why? Because I am smiling and having a good time and so is my dance partner--who ever he may be. We are dancing for us, not for whoever might wtch. Even if he has two left feet, people compliment us on how well we danced together. It is all in the attitude. I am certain that I am not so good looking that I am a room-stopper, but when you smile and enjoy life---it shows.
While they were there...............you were being just like them, gargarious, funny, friendly. Why not do it on your own? Bet you could................... | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 7:03:53 AM | OP: I've been told that I "radiate energy" whenever I walk into a room, which is just the greatest compliment anyone could ever give me. When you're happy with yourself and your life, you tend to give off a weird type of positive energy that other people notice and are drawn to right away. I've seen other people with this alluring quality, and it's all about having quiet confidence in who you are. Just the other day when I walked into my local gas station to pay for gas, the guy behind the counter lit up like a lampost and told me "God, you are so adorable, you're always smiling when you come in here and you look like you're 11 years old!!!" What a nice thing to say! (I'll be 50 next month..ugh)
Have confidence in yourself, try to see the good in people, be happy with what you have and you will definitely notice a difference in how people see you in the future.
Sans | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 8:48:31 AM | No one has the power to make another person feel mundane. Maybe that's your lesson....
Shhh.............listen. | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 8:49:42 AM | I always enjoy seeing happy couples. Couples that sincerely like being around each other.
Pleasant people (all pleasant people) are a joy to be around. No matter if they are 20 or 80. They are at peace with themselves. They have no reason (and avoid contrived reasons) to bring others down. They keep what ever sadness / disappointments - heart breaks to themselves and don’t spill it over onto others.
I work from a home office and have for over 20 years. I don’t date and unless I invent a reason - I am here in this office all the time. So ... I get out and people watch. I watch the world outside of this office. Often some other soul comes up and we sometimes talk for hours - without even exchanging names. I am usually on my motorcycle - that gives people an excuse/reason to come up and start talking.
One of my favorite people is a guy named John. I have no idea what his last name is. He is about 40 or so - a black guy with jagged teeth. That man is just happy by nature. He takes what ever life throws at him and just handles it and goes on his way.
Spending 95% of my time alone - then getting out and remembering that I too am part of this world - running into people like John and others is very nice indeed.
Pleasant people are a joy. They keep me reminded of what life is really all about. | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:06:38 AM | Aaahh yes ... the Hollywood couple in the burbs of Detroit. Nice, huh ?? Pleasant, vibrant, ‘in control’ people are always so nice to be around – and that only doubles when they come as a couple. I try to make the attempt to do this when I go out in public, myself. And on those days I succeed a bit, I do meet more people and make more friends. To some folks, acting this way is rather easy – to others, it isn’t. I think it’s very much a matter of confidence in personalities and recent experiences – whether they have been good or bad. But I think it’s also good to remember that people that act in such a way, emotional people, that live on the upper edge of their emotions, can often be found a few days later on the lower edge of them. I don’t have actual data on this, but it’s seemed to me that people’s emotions do tend to add up somewhere closer to the mid-point of the two extremes. All we can do when we meet vibrant people like this is join in, try to participate at that level, and hope that some of it rubs off and we can up our average a little because of it. To some this is easier to do than others – again, mostly because of differences in personality confidence and recent past experiences. And yes, Shimbo, it could be because both people just got laid the night before, but I’ve found that it’s usually quite a bit more than that.
My opinion, of course ...
cdn guy | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:14:53 AM | I think some of you might have misunderstood me. I did not despise these people, I liked them. Yes, I was envious of their relationship because I have never found someone that I clicked with that well, but these people were really friendly. In fact, the guy was somewhat obnoxious, but in a likeable way. In fact, I am not a very dull person. I am usually known as the life of the party and have a fair amount of charisma myself, but I am not incredibly good looking or wealthy either. Cosmetic surgery might have played a part, the woman did not tell her age but said she graduated high school in the 60s. She looked 40. Still, I have been around alot of rich, successful and beautiful people and found most of them as boring and unexciting as ugly poor people so I don't know if that is it.
For the fellow who wondered if they were from out of town visiting poor old "decrepit" Detroit, I can tell you yes, there are sections of Detroit that are rusted and vacant. There are also sections of town that would give Beverly Hills a run for its money. There is alot of money here. Yes, they were from a suburb that is somewhat wealthier than the one I live in. I guess my original point was not to wonder why these people were so attractive as to wonder why everyone else is so boring. | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:23:56 AM |
I am still trying to figure out how 2 people can be that "alive" and make everyone else feel mundane. Anyone ever have this kind of experience or have any clues to what set these people apart from everyone else?
At the end of the day? Attitude. | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:49:45 PM | I'm incredibly alive...I know this cuz I just check myself for a pulse. | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:55:58 PM | | Passion...for life and all that is in it! Live passionately and you will appear alive to others to! | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:35:56 PM | i think thats it exactly ..a passion for life ,and a love of life with all that goes with it....our moods can be a reflection of whom we spend time with ,i,m 55 and in complete denile  | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 7:00:06 PM | It also has something to do with emotions and how they are expressed. People with emotional problems or who are unexpressive do not seem so alive as those who have addressed their problems and express their feelings. In my late thirties I was involved in expressive therapy that changed me in this way. People who knew me before noticed the difference but could not say what it was. I honestly feel I was dead until then and have been much more alive since. So I do think it can be learned or developed but at least in my case, it was not easy to do so.
Now if you take two healthy expressive people and put them in a good relationship, you end up with what you described. So much positive energy is given off that everyone around them can feel it immediately. | |
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| Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:36:37 PM | | Just my thought.... I believe the day you wake-up, and realize happiness is a choice, and choose it.... You DO become the person you really want to be. It's all a choice, and it's yours. | |
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