| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/21/2008 9:48:31 AM | I don't know about others, but, I'm finding it very difficult (mainly where I live) to meet anybody because of the cost of gas. I have a few who want to meet me, but, at the current price at the pumps, it might run me between $50-100 just to have a cup of coffee LOL. Most women and men want to meet in a public place. Again, with the rising cost of everything, just getting to a place that used to be a small drop in the bucket for expenses has become a large hole in the bucket.
It is 30 miles to Baton Rouge for me. That might not seem like much, but, when you consider the back roads, it's more than that along with the rising cost of treating somebody to a meal and drinks. I'm old fashioned and like to pay. I was not raised to let a woman pay. Does anybody else find themselves in this situation?
I might add that there are no women near me except for Baton Rouge. Now, that is the North section of Baton Rouge and most on POF are in the middle or South sections. Meeting them would require me more distance and also about 1 hour drive time one way. I can take the drive time, but, that adds more to the financial problems when on a fixed income.
How many of you find yourselves in the same boat? | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:47:42 PM | This is certainly an issue for a lot of people.
I've read a few ladie's first-date comments in which they said they'd pay their share since after all, both were benefiting from the get together. This kind of attitude speaks well for the lady's character and the kind of attitude she'd probably have in a relationship. A willingness to share and not just to be a taker. These attitudes are very positive in other aspects of a relationship as well.
Due to the long-standing idea that a man is to pay for a date, it would be nice if the lady would offer to pay her share in a diplomatic way. If she implies the man can't afford it, then she will hurt his self-esteem and that is not good for a relationship.
Certainly there are a few ladies that expect the man to be able to pay and don't want him if he can't. I question how good the connection in a relationship will be if one person has a "golddigger" attitude. By the way, I am well aware of the fact that there are men with these same attitudes so please don't feel I'm a man pointing a finger just at ladies.
If there is a good place to meet halfway between the two of you, that would be another possibility. And not just because of the cost of gas but also because of the hours spent behind the wheel in traffic while the other is free to relax or go to bed. My former partner drove about four hours round trip a couple of times to meet a couple of different men. I told her she should ask them to meet her halfway. However, if one or both are hoping to get a little frisky, they probably want to be near one of their homes - just in case. | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:03:29 PM | I agree with everything you said!
I'd like to add that it is beneficial to have a lot of phone conversations first, to decide if you REALLY want to meet this person or not. Sometimes just getting someone to follow-up on a promise to call can reveal much about a person's integrity and honesty. | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:28:16 PM | | I dont even have a car, and dont want one untill the gas prices go to like 2.00 a gallon so yea same problem!: Curse you gas CEOS | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:48:33 AM | We strive to adapt to circumstances.
Chevy van 11mpg.
Short trip. 500cc Shadow motorcycle 50mpg.
Longer trip. 1300cc Honda Goldwing(,85) 38mpg.
Gas gets up to $6.gal. +Bicycle
Guess I better quit telling folk I remember when gas was .17 gal!! | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:21:52 AM | I vote for the Motorcycle as the chosen for of transportation to "meet on the first date", then you can always take the car/or truck if you choose to follow up on a date where you would pick her up....unless she is willing to ride on the bike. Then she scores points as someone who you would go ridin' with in the future!!
Two months before we got married (we met on line) we bought a bike, and spend as much time on it as we can, 50.00 that didn't go into the gas tank, is 50.00 more to enjoy a great dinner!
Kimmie | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:27:09 AM | I think that complaining about the price of gas is absolutely pointless and resembles whining. If this really is fishing and you can’t afford gas for the boat, then fish from the bank. If that doesn’t work for you, then either stop fishing or find a way to buy gas. Sure if the price of Ferraris was lower, I’d buy a few, but most of us don’t complain about it. They find another way to get around.
This may be an old fashioned idea, but if it’s a date, the guy pays. If he can’t afford to date, then he shouldn’t date. | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:49:45 PM | Likes how Wanna thinks!! He is so right!! If you can't afford to take a woman on a date then don't date. I know personally that this economy has affected everyone and its not easy. When I go on a date and we go out to dinner I am mindful of that and would NEVER order the most expensive thing on the menu just because the man is paying. Most times I order a side salad. First of all, I am not on a date to see how much a man can spend. I am there to get to know him and spend some quality time with him. Second of all, it wouldnt hurt for a woman to at least offer to help with the tab. Most gentleman will not let you but its still polite to offer.
High prices are going to be with us for a while so no sense whining about it like Wanna said. We all hate it but we just have to make the best of it and adjust our spending and our outside activities. I for one enjoy not spending money on a date....just going somewhere like a park, go for a walk, sit by a lake and listen to music. What better way to get to know someone then to have their undivided attention and lots of alone time.
We seem to put way too much value on what someone spends on us or gives us. How about putting value on the person we are with. We just might end up having a wonderful time!!! | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/22/2008 5:29:36 PM | I'd say that it's time you give up dating or start dating women from your block sweetie cause this economy is not changing...not for a while at least.
I, for one, always offer to meet half way in a neutral and public place...and if your concern is the cost of feeding her a meal...then try inviting to a starbucks. After all, you are going to meet for the first time. If it all goes well and you hit it off, then do the dinner the second time around. | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:10:34 AM |
If this really is fishing and you can’t afford gas for the boat, then fish from the bank.
Growing up on the water around boats & fishing, I've learned that the first fish to strike a shiny lure is usually a barracuda. Make of that what you will...... | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:41:59 AM |
I've learned that the first fish to strike a shiny lure is usually a barracuda.
I think I've even seen a few piranha in South Florida waters.  | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/23/2008 1:42:13 PM | | If every man followed your advice, Deb and Wanna Dance, there would be fewer opportunities for women to date as well. It's not good advice to tell a man not to date if he can't afford to pay for it. He just needs to meet the right woman- one who is willing to share the costs. If a man didn't think he could afford a date, he might not make the effort, without knowing that a date might be rather inexpensive. The results will be fewer ladies being asked out in the first place. | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:30:16 PM |
If every man followed your advice, Deb and Wanna Dance, there would be fewer opportunities for women to date
Or perhaps those of us that are willing to pay 100% would have many more dates.
I just can't follow the logic that it is in the woman's best interest to pay. If expenses have gone up for everyone, regardless of gender, and men used to pay 100%, it seems that it is MORE burdensome on the woman than the man if she now has to pay 50% and paid nothing in the past. Following that logic of desperation, if a woman offered $100 to any man that would go out with her, she'd have guys standing in line at her door, but that is ridiculous. Woman simply should not have to buy a date.
I think that guys that now want women to contribute to the cost of the date because of the higher price of gas are over-looking expenses that she has and we don't. Hair cut & color, manicure, pedicure, etc. Take a woman's dress to the cleaners compared to a pair of men's slacks if you really want a shock. | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:33:24 PM | Great answer.Few times I have paid for the dates-just because the guys travelled quite a bit.I do agree with your old fashioned ways and I want to thank you for them.
I quess what is fair is fair........the first meeting should be half and half.I take the first meeting as an "personal interview"
Again,I do agree........if you can not afford to date then don't. | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:25:07 PM | I'm a bus rider, so my main challenge is the wet weather we get in Florida this time of year. So far it's been weather 1, Me 0......{This was for the first POF event near my area, not a date , not yet, anyway....} Oh well, on to plan b....keep on trying new things and hope for one or more dry days-or something reasonably close to a dry day...lol...  | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/24/2008 6:21:55 AM | The cost of dating should be discussed in the initial phone calls, if it is an issue.
My point wasn't whether it is or is not it is in a woman's "best interest" to pay. It was about the lousy advice that guys who don't pay shouldn't date at all. Guys willing to pay may, indeed, get more dates, but they can't date all the available women! Some women are willing to share expenses and those women could be matched up with guys who think the same way.
I don't think men should have to "buy a date" either. It should be mutual. It seems to me a real tradgedy that a man should have to buy affection, and even more so that a woman would sell hers. | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:20:19 AM | If the cost of an initial date is a problem..........and you do prefer "going dutch"why not post it then in your personal profile.
 | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/26/2008 10:35:56 AM | Cajun, It is what it is.....It's not changing in the near future so if you can't stand the heat, move the kitchen... I hear there's lots of nice girls close by in Ohio.....lol | |
|
| |
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/26/2008 11:44:18 AM | Purple and gold are the official colors of the State toilet paper....... | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/26/2008 3:23:28 PM | | Lets not forget, there are more single moms , than there are single dads...... I'v never had a problem with a man paying for me, its never about the money , I can take care of my own needs, but it is just the right thing to do as far as the man being THE MAN !!! It is not about finding a man to take care of me, but finding a man that could and will , if needed down the road, because one day I hope to be a wife and not some chick he met online ! | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:11:48 AM | I would strongly suspect that there are an equal number of single moms as there are single dads. Since this is a topic about the "costs" associated with dating, I think you mean that there are more women who must pay for child care, and this should be taken into consideration- am I right?
I'd like to destroy the myth that to be a "man" a male must support a woman financially. I thinks such arrangements keep the woman in servitude wherein she has no choice but to remain in a relationship she may not enjoy simply because of money issues. Such relationships were more the norm 50 years ago when women earned less than men, but now women have the ability to earn a living wage.
It occurs to me that this is a FREE dating site. It might attract those who don't have a lot of money. You might find a rich man to take care of you at sugardadies.com. | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:29:19 AM | | The last thing I want or need is a man to take care of me, I'm very self sufficient and independent. I did not bring up child care because my children are old enough to stay home alone, so that is not the case. I'm Only agreeing to the old fashion way of dating, where the man pays, to me it is not about the money. I think that last comment was a little out of line just because I agreed with some of the other peoples post. No reason to slander each other. I'm sure I could come up with something to say back to that but I'm not into slandering people. | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/27/2008 8:37:31 AM | I like how "Wanna Dance" thinks.
Let me put this another way....for most of us women the "wine & dine" stage is the best stage. This is where we are treated like a lady and have the opportunity to get out of the kitchen. Face it, once a relationship is established and things move more to the "home front" who does most of the cooking? Not to mention housework and cleaning? The women. This is a natural cycle and I'm not complaining but I may very well begin to complain if I'm told I have to pay for the evenings out AND the domestic duties on the homefront later.
I'm old fashioned. I like doors being opened, I like being treated like a lady but in return I also like making the person in my life feel special. | |
|
| Cost of meeting somebody
Posted: 6/27/2008 9:28:47 AM | Thank you jjb.
I think the title of the thread “cost of meeting someone” shows a somewhat different outlook than I have regarding this process. I see it more as an “investment” of time and money that may not have an immediate “payoff”, but long-term we just don’t know. As examples, my first wife was a blind date arranged by the girlfriend of one of my roommates and my second wife was introduced to me by a woman I had met at a party that thought her girlfriend and I would be great together. She was so right. If I had not taken these opportunities, well, my life would have been much different.
I’m not sure if I believe in kismet, destiny or what ever you want to call it, but I think it is my job to invest the time and money to make myself available and the rest will take care of itself. I don’t expect Ms. Right to knock on my door and if “going out” has a price, so be it. It is better than the alternative. | |
|
Home
login 
