| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:34:27 AM | In the 50 something singles scene, it seems to me that women are judged much tougher as far as looks and body than men in the same age bracket.
I mean , I think most older women realize that if they let themselves go physically, gain weight, get wrinkly, have bad hair, have high blood bressure and bad lifestyles, the odds of them attracting a man fall down sharply.
I`m not seeing that same attitude when it comes to older men. Alot of them are out there dating , quite readily, thin and youthful women, and not being bothered by their
big ponch, their aged physique. They seem to be fine with themselves just the way they are , as are alot of the women who are more than honored to date them.
So my question is, is there double standards for maintenence of looks and youthful appearance with older daters? Are women more accepting and forgiving when it comes to those types of things? | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:46:40 AM | Hopefully , by 45-50 , there is a realisation that work is involved in the care of the human body and some sacrifices are to be made , ie , less meat , ramen , tomatoes , alcohol .. it's all in the attitude and some people can attest to this , if you go to Montreal , every woman on Ste Catherine St is dressed to the nines whether she's 19 or 59 , and of course all of them gorgeous .
I`m not seeing that same attitude when it comes to older men. A lot of them are out there dating , quite readily, thin and youthful women
but then a lot of company funds are being embezzled .... | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:28:15 AM |
... when it comes to older men. Alot of them are out there dating , quite readily, thin and youthful women, and not being bothered by their
big ponch, their aged physique. They seem to be fine with themselves just the way they are , as are alot of the women who are more than honored to date them. I've seen that too, but I also know a lot of them (men). I happen to know that they are not interested in a life partner ... long term FWB yes ... but definitely not marriage or live-in life partner.
Those "thin and youthful" women that you speak of are happy to date them and screw their brains out because they know that when those guys eventually break down, they're done with them and out the door. Those are not the women who will be changing their diapers or giving them bed baths when they become bed bound ... so why not date them?
It's really not all that difficult to figure out what those women want with those men. No matter how big their bellies are, it's not that difficult to get them off and make them feel like a king ... as long as they keep the wallet open ... RIGHT?
It's not something I'd be interested in, so I'm holding out for a man about my age who has taken care of himself and wants a future with me. I have been taking care of myself and want the same in a man. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:35:15 AM | | I don`t know if they make a wallet big enough in order for me to be with some of these dudes--------------man, that`s just plain nasty when I think about it. I guess that just really grosses me out alot more than some. EWWWWWWW! I`d stay alone and go through the drive through first before that. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:07:27 PM | I have been thinking a lot more in the last year about taking better care of myself. I have friends in their 80's who still look good for their age but they have taken care of themselves.. So I am taking care of myself..
I think that women who view this as a battle actually do more harm than good.. I see it as making a positive statement with what you have.. and staying healthy so I can stave off medications as long as possible.
I am quite proud of myself I am 55 and take no medications.. having brought down my blood pressure from 145/85 to 105/60 in a year by loosing 30 lbs and exericising regularly.. still trying to raise that good cholesterol number.. oh well maybe next year.
And the truth is that over 50.. a hard life shows up both on men's and women's faces.. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 2:25:39 PM | I think all ladies over 45 be proud of who you are what you are. Just be your self you dont need to change for anyone.If there are any changes that need to be done to you or your life.
They are your choices and yours alone.Being you is what makes you special.
I'm 47 and proud to say I dont look dress or act my age and why should I.
That what folk like about me, i'm a rebel yes at my age.Life is for living so live it.
Dont let it pass you by,be positive and forward thinking believe in yourself ..
Your worth it.  | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 3:19:25 PM | I think the reality is that dating becomes much more difficult for both genders after 45. And by the way, I think that its an illusion when you say that youthful women will readily date older men. Perhaps that lovely young thing on the arm of the paunchy old fart is really an escort? Who knows.
In any event, the magic of youth is lost. In the younger days you could screw each others brains out without the issue of "commitment" hanging over you. Things were simpler. But when you are over 45 it seems the central issue is, "is this person going to be my partner me until I croak?"
It must be extremely painful for good women who's looks have faded, and they remember years gone by when the world their oyster, and they wielded extraordinary power over their male counterparts. Now they have to compete for attention for the first time in their lives.
Joan Collins said it best, "Being born beautiful is like being born rich and seeing yourself growing poor as time goes by."
Life sucks. But if you have a philosophical attitude you will realize that EVERYBODY, no matter who they are, how good looking, rich or fortunate they were are destined for the same fate. Its God's joke on us. Might as well enjoy the joke. Otherwise you'll be miserable for the rest of your life. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 3:36:29 PM | | Work at what harder? Attracting men, a companion, or what? I believe, as we get older we get smarter, and the things we wouldn't tolerate as a 20-30 year old, we find really isn't that bad, and we may have a few things that aren't tolerable either. As far as taking care of ourselves, isn't it a matter of personal pride. Also, some people are born drop dead gorgeous, others have to take what we get and use it. As a woman over 45, I'm not looking for someone who isn't comfortable in their own skin, and can find fault with mine. If I have to work harder to be acceptable to someone, forget it, they are not worth my time or my energy. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 3:44:29 PM | You will always find those of either gender or any age that are accepting or not accepting of the physical part of “attraction”.
However, for the most part I think women in general aren’t as hung up on looks as men are in general in any age bracket. Probably why the older man/younger woman is so much more common than the younger man/older woman, not that it doesn’t happen, just not as often. Just as there are men in their 40’s and 50’s that are more attracted to the same age range even if they could attract much younger women and vice versa.
There are always exceptions, I don’t think it has anything to do with it being acceptable or not for either gender to “let themselves go“. Unless a younger lady is one of the exceptions like vain, shallow or a gold-digger she would probably go for an older “out of shape” man if he treats her nice. Especially, if she encountered a lot of young hunks that couldn’t hold a job more than a month , calls her “my biotch” or slapped her around. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:16:53 PM | | Everybody gets old unless they die young, and when you get old you look worse than you did when you were young. There is no hope for people who cannot age gracefully, because every day they can only decline in what matters to them. Looks fade so take it in stride, enjoy what gets better with age. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:30:54 PM |
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^man, if those are my only two options, I`ll be spending time on the forums for a long time!
Only if you are completely hung up on looks, then again how many options are there for a 7' tall woman? | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:43:16 PM | | I have tried to take care of myself. I get plenty of exercise and eat well. I was blessed by not having a sweet tooth. It seems that men my age want younger women. We old gals cant win. | |
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shimbo
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Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 18 | |
| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:34:49 PM |
I think that its an illusion when you say that youthful women will readily date older men
I've experienced it several times in recent years.
Younger women often put themselves in the nearby vicinity with smiles and hellos.
It's probably been happening for years but about two years ago it was so blatant that I noticed. The apartment manager was about thirty and she started showing up in the laundry room whenever I did. She'd be in her office, notice if I was getting quarters from the change machine, wait about ten minutes and then come do her laundry at the same time.
Since then I've had it happen at clubs, the airport, etc.
It's about money or a house for their kids, etc, so it's flattering but not worth much.
Its God's joke on us. Might as well enjoy the joke
That's my thought, too.
A large # of women here don't grasp it. | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:49:08 PM | | What a lot of men (all ages) don't seem to "grasp" is that people in general are much more attractive when they're themselves. Comfortable in their skins.. no matter what others "view" their skins as being. "Working at it" at their own paces. Others follow when security/confidence in oneself seeps through. This is called.. having a "likeable" personality. Maybe.. judging someone by their looks.. as opposed to their personality is a sign of maturity.. and not a sign of lack of opportunities. (Judging the books by their covers!) JMO | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:56:25 PM | Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Work harder at getting what, exactly?
I'm 46, don't smoke, rarely drink and do my utmost best to look after myself and will never refer to myself as 'old'.
I don't feel I need to 'work at it', at all!
'It' comes quite naturally and I'm doing quite smoothly, thank you!  | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:00:56 PM | I think all ladies over 45 be proud of who you are what you are. Just be your self you dont need to change for anyone. If there are any changes that need to be done to you or your life. They are your choices and yours alone. Being you is what makes you special. I'm 47 and proud to say I dont look dress or act my age and why should I.
That what folk like about me, i'm a rebel yes at my age.Life is for living so live it.
Don't let it pass you by, be positive and forward thinking, believe in yourself ..
Your worth it.
BOOYAH!!!!!
However, abby156 makes this extremely valid observation:
It seems that men my age want younger women. We old gals cant win.
I believe it is what it is. I have lonely times, to be sure; however, the uber-busy times far outnumber that.
I have found that as I got older, I actually look better. I am not sure why, but I feel I look much prettier now than when I was 35.
^^BG^^ | |
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| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:16:46 PM | While I certainly won't discount the fact that there has always been, and will always be a certain percentage of men who are willing "pay for" the attention of those young hunnies, I think that surely they are aware of the fact that those hot babes will disappear as soon as the checkbook snaps shut. Nothing wrong with that....a fair exchange is not robbery.
Have you considered that the men feel the same way about us? When we go out....all the 20-30 somethings hitting on us? Don't you think that men our age get discouraged by that? How are they supposed to know (or believe) that WE'RE not interested the young puppies if we don't tell them so? Even after that...don't you think that maybe it's possible that they do know that they're not getting any younger or better looking and that it's possible that even WE may prefer the studly 30 yr old without a brain in his head to just the average middle-age + decent guy? Something to ponder.
EDIT: Ohhhhh, come on girls!!!! I just looked at Abby's pic.....and a few others here....now don't tell me that there are not some HOT over 40 women! LOL! No way are you going to convince me that when Abby goes out that the 20 some year old guys are not swarming for her attention! (LOL, sorry Abby, don't mean to put you on the spot...but face it...you still got it! LOL!) Just imagine what even a 45 yr old guy is thinking! Just because she COULD take her pick of any 25 yr old in a place.....doesn't mean that she wants to......or would. The men just don't have that "maternal" thing that we do...that says....nooooo, my kids are older than YOU! So, the older men are thinking (I think) that they wouldn't have a chance....so why bother....they'd just make a fool out of themselves. Much easier on the ego to let the 20 yr old bimbo hang all over them....and so what that it costs them a few drinks. | |
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shimbo
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Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 24 | |
| Do women need to work at it harder after 45?
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:18:42 PM |
What a lot of men (all ages) don't seem to "grasp" is that people in general are much more attractive when they're themselves
I'm not so sure.
Many women wear makeup to become "more attractive".
Are they "being themselves"?
Many women wear something sexy to arouse the male libido.
Are they "being themselves"?
Or is it just deceptive advertising?
Others follow when security/confidence in oneself seeps through
Do I want others following me around?
Do I want to follow others around?
That's called stalking nowadays. | |
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