| Why are they still saying that they want a "girl" .............
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:01:57 PM | When do we become a woman in some men's eyes?
I see so many men ... even men who are old enough to be fathers of young ladies in their twenties and thirties ... still saying that they want a "girl" .............
Isn't a "girl" a female under 18 years of age?
My goodness ... even when my girls (I have three girls) were 10, 13, and 16 ... I referred to them as young ladies. I wanted them to get used to being a young lady ... a well-behaved young lady that any man would be proud to have at his side.
When I read that a man is looking for a "girl" ... I really wince. I wonder if they are really looking for a woman who is "girlish" or if perhaps they have never really experienced a true "woman".
I wonder if they don't perhaps realize that many of us would like to be thought of as a "grown woman" and thus also demand the respect that goes with being a grown (mature) woman or lady. | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:05:33 PM | I don't care why they do that. It doesn't bother me in the least, in fact, I sometimes refer to myself as a girl, i.e., "I'm a Blue Collar girl..".
There are other terms I am offended by, but that isn't one of them and I don't think they mean anything by it. | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:06:10 PM | Hey Helen Reddy ~ you can get down from the podium now!
Why are you so hung up on a simple term?
What would you prefer ~ gal, chick, broad, baby, sweety, toots..... you name it and we'll try to remember!
Jeez its only a term -- you should focus on other things and simply chill out! | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:07:45 PM |
What would you prefer ~ gal, chick, broad, baby, sweety, toots..... you name it and we'll try to remember!
Now chick, broad, and toots...you can have those!
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:14:09 PM |
Jeez its only a term -- you should focus on other things and simply chill out! Jeez ... it was only a question in an open forum. What's there to "chill out" about?
I already know how I feel about it ... I think the men should be more respectful, but it was merely a question of curiosity ... nothing more.
WOW ... if a person gets that offended by the question, it does make one wonder why they would bother to respond? | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:17:14 PM |
What would you prefer ~ gal, chick, broad, baby, sweety, toots..... you name it and we'll try to remember!
Well............. terms like
- b*tch
- sl*t
-whore
work well in the bedroom for some of us....
whereas terms like
- honey
- lover
- woman
work well at other times.
Go ahead.... try and guess what works for who..... just keep your package covered in the off chance you might get it wrong.
OT: I really don't care what my partner calls me.... it really depends on the mood between us at that moment. Sometimes I find it quite endearing when he calls me "his girl".
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:18:49 PM | Welcome back cotter!
Girlfriend, you did ask the question in an open forum to men -- and as a male I did respond ~ frankly!
~~~~> I see absolutly nothing wrong with the term "Girl!".
(Is that a better way to reply Mrs. Cotter ?) | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:21:36 PM | To me woman sounds sort of clinical. Just a little shy of "I seek a human female of a suitable age for breeding."
There are times when I do use woman, and times when I use girl. Generally, it depends on context. Which sounds better to you?
"I'm going to the beach with my girl-friend." vs.
"My woman-friend and I are going to a movie."
or...
"My boy-friend brought me roses." vs.
"I think my man-friend wants to go steady."
Language... it's funny! | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:26:57 PM | | I remember the first time a man called me girl...I took it as a compliment cause I was almost 40 ..now Im almost fifty...someone quick call me a girl again!!!!!!!! | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:36:42 PM |
OT: I really don't care what my partner calls me.... it really depends on the mood between us at that moment. Sometimes I find it quite endearing when he calls me "his girl". Yes ... I have to admit ... that does feel good.
I think I was noticing it a lot in the younger men. What inspired me to ask the question is that I noticed many of the gentlemen in their twenties still referring to the ladies as "girls" and it occurred to me that there's a possibility that part of their problems with their interactions with the ladies is that they still see the ladies as "girls".
I think how we view a person often influences how we will interact with them down the road. So if we are seeing someone as a grown up self-sufficient person as opposed to a kid ... we eventually treat them differently or interact differently with them.
I know at my age, I work with many young ladies who are young enough to be my daughters. I got a late start in my career as a nurse, so many of them have more years of experience than I do. I have seen other older nurses make the mistake of treating younger (more experienced) nurses with less respect just because they are younger.
I admire them for their accomplishments at such a young age ... and always show them the respect they deserve. On the other hand, I just love it when we're out socializing and I get to be the one they come to for help with their life problems ... that's when the tables are turned and I get to be "Mom".
"garnet" (msg. 8) ...
"I'm going to the beach with my girl-friend." vs.
"My woman-friend and I are going to a movie."
or...
"My boy-friend brought me roses." vs.
"I think my man-friend wants to go steady."
Language... it's funny! Okay ... that's true. I (at the ripe old age of almost 60) do still refer to previous relationships as my "boyfriend" at the time. | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:39:41 PM |
"I'm going to the beach with my girl-friend." vs.
"My woman-friend and I are going to a movie."
or...
"My boy-friend brought me roses." vs.
"I think my man-friend wants to go steady."
I think that example was brillant!! very nice and very true. I would never refer to my GIRLfriend as my womanfriend or hell as even ladyfriend.
Tim
=)x | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:51:02 PM | OP, as others have posted, there is no substitute term for "girlfriend", so of course guys are going to be seeking "girls" that they can convert into a "girlfriend". Was Billy Joel really a pedophile when he wrote "Uptown Girl"?
I'm so sick of trying to guess which term to use that I tend to resort to the term "female entity". Perhaps "female human entity of age eighteen or greater and currently unattached" would be more precise. | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:59:13 PM | It's just a term I prefer to use. It sounds less formal to me for some reason, and it's certainly not an indication of the age or "type" I'm looking for.
I imagine very few men mean anything by it, at least in terms of what you described. | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 2:15:41 PM |
OP, as others have posted, there is no substitute term for "girlfriend", so of course guys are going to be seeking "girls" that they can convert into a "girlfriend". Ya ... that makes sense too.
But turn it around for a minute. I'm not the least bit interested in seeking a "boy" that I can turn into a "boyfriend".
I'm fairly certain that I'm still after a "MAN". | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 2:40:33 PM | Where's my dinner woman? I say that when I walk in the door.When I'm at the( girl,woman,lady's)place
Hey girl,how's it going?I'll text,during the day.
When I call it's Hey you.
Then,there's the morning beautiful text.
When I was married it was the old lady
Which do you prefer? | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 3:04:57 PM | I don't have a problem with use of the word "girl" in an informal context. Although the counterpart is technically "boy", I don't think most people think of it that way. I think it is usually used among grownups in the sense of "girls" and "guys". Note the forums are titled "ask a girl", and "ask a guy". As someone else pointed out "womanfriend" just doesn't roll off the tongue.
In a professional setting, however, the use of "girl" CAN be inappropriate; one's administrative should not be referred to as "my girl", but as "my assistant", for example.
I wanted them to get used to being a young lady ... a well-behaved young lady that any man would be proud to have at his side.
I notice you refer to the female as a "lady", but the male as a "man", and not a gentleman. This implies a different standard for the female, don't you think? This makes no sense, IMHO. If, for example a little girl is showing her underpants or picking her nose, why not just let her know it is "inappropriate", instead of "unladylike"? Have you ever used the term "cleaning lady", and, if so, would you ever use the term "cleaning gentleman" if the person who cleaned your home or office? Is the male counterpart of the LPGA, the GPGA? I just cannot see the word "lady" as respectful to women.
How about we just raise decent, kind, respectful young MEN and WOMEN, to whom we occasionally refer as "guys" and "girls" when we are being friendly and/or informal? | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 3:44:01 PM | | In my opinion a lot of men don't consider your personal, subjective, connotations to gender identifying names and generally use woman, female, lady, girl, beyotch, chick, old lady, young lady, old bag, hag, cougar, milf, babe, etc...somewhat interchangeably. The term they choose to utilize is dependent upon the context of the situation, thought process, or conversation, that is subjective to them. | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 3:51:36 PM | By that same logic, most women want a "guy", which is the complimentary term to "girl", as "woman" would be a compliment of "man", "lady" a compliment of "gentleman", etc. While most of the male population would enjoy the thought of having a young trophy wife that looks like jailbait (those who deny it are lying), that isn't exactly what we are implying when we are looking for a "girl"
As is, "girl" is just one of those archaic slang terms that stuck. Don't dig too far into it's interpretation. | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:08:51 PM |
Note the forums are titled "ask a girl", and "ask a guy". As for "Ask A Girl" and "Ask A Guy" … I have no influence over how the owner of the site labels his forums and I'm not convinced that's the final word on how opposite sexes could necessarily appropriately address each other
The site belongs to Markus and he can do anything he wants with it. I just stated a question out of curiosity and wanted to have some FUN with it … but am obviously stumbling onto a few people who just don't know how to have FUN with such things. Hmmm … that or they got up on the on the wrong side of the bed this AM?
I notice you refer to the female as a "lady", but the male as a "man", and not a gentleman. This implies a different standard for the female, don't you think? While I did use the term "man" in message 1, I used the term "gentlemen" in message 10. I do not have different standards for the female.
I interpret "lady" and "woman" as a grown female … over the age of 18. I interpret "man" and "gentleman" as a grown male … over the age of 18. Again … the thread was started to draw some attention to the terminology that some use in here … but mostly it was meant to be light-hearted … to have some FUN with it. Some have been consistent with that and I appreciate it.
Is the male counterpart of the LPGA, the GPGA? LPGA/GPGA ... I have no clue as to what that stands for, have no interest in what it stands for, doubt that it has anything to do with the topic of the thread … and so I have no opinion on that.
When I was married it was the old lady OH DEAR!!! | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:12:06 PM | this seems like a petty complaint, but i suppose if some ....female called me a "boy" i would probably see it as an invitation to **** with her mind using my superior intellect and ability to antagonize others, unless she was really old and to her I suppose I would be rather youthful.
but i guess there is a double standard. Most girls don't mind being called that until you reach about 35ish in my experience. | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:21:04 PM |
Most girls don't mind being called that until you reach about 35ish in my experience. Now that you mention it ... I have a friend who is old enough to be my father and is very much a father figure to me as he was the police escort to our band when I was in high school. His own daughters were my friends in the band back then.
When we talk, I know there are times when he says, "Now you listen to me 'girl' ......" I know he sees me as one of his daughters and that does not offend me in any way. I suppose just as my children will always be my babies even though they are in their twenties and thirties, I'm just always going to be like one of his "girls" too ... sigh. So it's an endearment. | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:30:10 PM | Why are woman so touchy about men ?
Girl, woman, female, what difference does it make ?
Now if he called you a **** I could understand some upset !
I think some women need to loosen up and chill a bit where men are concerned....... | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:01:24 PM | Did you look to see what the forum opposite of this one is called??? It's called Ask A GIRL!!!! :roll eyes:
So according to you a girl is under 18 years of age, that means that you should never go into that forum because you're not a girl......right???? | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:27:25 PM | As Oprah said to the empowered modern woman, "You go girl!!!!"
I say "girl" interchangeably with "woman"... it's a term denoting a female. It's the equivalent of "guy" to me, but English doesn't seem to have a specific "age neutral" casual term that matches.
I think people have become too hung up on labels. I try to think about the intent rather than the term.
If a guy says "girl" and respects you like a woman then he's not trying to slight you.
If he says "girl" and pulls out a Catholic schoolgirl uniform for you to try on... maybe a different story. 
www | |
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| Why do they do that?
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:34:02 PM | lukenineteen brought up a valid point. Most men hate being called boys. So why would it be any different if some women don't like the term 'girl'? To me, it makes no difference between woman, lady or girl...just don't call me an old hag, ok?
I interpret "lady" and "woman" as a grown female … over the age of 18. I interpret "man" and "gentleman" as a grown male … over the age of 18
OP....If only every adult over 18 was truly a lady or a gentleman, this world would be a much nicer place. Just because someone reaches the age of maturity does not guarantee that they are a lady or a gentleman. A lady/gentleman is much more than an age. Not every woman is a lady and not every man is a gentleman, so I think your description of the terms was a little off - IMO.
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