| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 3:06:32 AM | | Why do some guys move in uninvited to try and dance with a girl then act like the girl is the jerk for not wanting to dance with them? Do guys think girls go out dancing only to meet and hook up with men? Just wondering what you men are thinking about the whole dancing situation. | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 3:22:31 AM | It has been ages since I did the night club stuff so my point of view might be outdated.
It really depends on what type of place you are. If you are at one of the pickup places then yes, the default situation is they are assuming you are there to hookup. If it is a rave scene or techno place then the people there are VERY open and people just dance with whomever or no one.
Both scenarios are very different, well pretty much polar opposites but the point is that it does depend on the place.
At least back in the old days each club had its own scene and culture. Some were super trendy where you needed not only permission to dance but you needed to sign away right of first born and a full release of liability 
Who knows! | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 3:31:23 AM | Really... who knows? Thanks for the response. It was a frustrating night and it's usually the same scenario. It's almost like we want to post it on our shirts. Here to dance. No hook ups wanted.  | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:14:18 AM | Maybe if they saw a bunch of apparently single women dancing alone they might assume at least one of them would like a dance? Of course it's rude not to ask first.
I doubt the OP would have a problem if she and her friends danced like Elaine Beness! lol
For my part, I pity the poor woman who invited me to dance and envy those more fortunate souls who have rhythm, can carry a tune and play a musical instrument. | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:54:30 AM | OK OP,
I'll be the devil's advocate((yup, first time ever) here, and state that some guys are a little tongue-tied, and may feel that just jumping in on a dance is easier or better than trying to approach you to talk. Sorry, I know it comes off as a little ignorant, but it's the only (really only so-so)justification I can think of to explain it. | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 5:56:45 AM | | I think it's the girls behaving like jerks when they grizzle about guys who don't pick up on so called "flirting signals" but still have the nerve to grizzle about guys who do pick up on these signals and want to dance with them. | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:37:29 AM |
I think it's the girls behaving like jerks when they grizzle about guys who don't pick up on so called "flirting signals" ]/quote] Have to disagree with this. Like Op said,lotta girls go out with their girlfriends to dance the night away. NOTHING to do with you guys.....LOL  | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:34:38 AM | Buy one of those high voltage TAZERS for self defence!
You don't have to use it, just make it spark a little and I
guarantee, you will be left in peace! | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:38:03 AM | ^^^^^I got one of those electric fly-swatters.... problem is..... some guys actually like it!!
Makes for a whole new kinda dance...... too bad we can't just whip out the ol' six shooters anymore and say "NOW dance for me baby!" 
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:55:04 AM |
Do guys think girls go out dancing only to meet and hook up with men?
Do girls all think that any guy who wants to dance with her is trying to "hook up?" Perhaps he just wants to dance with someone who seems to be a good dancer and fun to be around.
Either way, even if the guy is trying to "hook up" I think it's extremely ridiculous the attitude of some women that a man who approaches them is committing some sort of social blunder because he wasn't sufficiently skilled in mind reading to just know that she's not interested in being approached before he has the opportunity to say hello. | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:00:29 AM | ^^^What CSI said! I haven't been to a dance club in forever, and even when I did go I can't remember ever being there just to "hook up". I was looking to meet a nice interesting girl when I approached someone, but mostly I was hanging out with friends and having a good time. Typically I would ask a girl to dance first, but if the music was so loud you couldn't talk I might work my way over to her and start dancing with her and trying non-verbally to let her know I was interested in getting to know her. And it was plenty easy enough for her to let me know the same way if that was OK with her or not. Its funny that you are so upset about men making assumptions first OP, and yet you are doing exactly the same thing by making assumptions about them. Why not just take it as a compliment and politely say no thanks? If he can't or won't take no for an answer then feel free to unload on him.
Makes for a whole new kinda dance...... too bad we can't just whip out the ol' six shooters anymore and say "NOW dance for me baby! You go get 'em Annie Oakley! | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:18:05 AM | I have no problem with a woman not wanting to dance with me for whatever reason. But many ( not all ) women will reject men in a rude way when a man isn't being a jerk or overaggressive. A woman could simply say "No thanks" instead of giving him dirty looks, making rude noises such as "eeww" and "ugh", running away from a man, saying things to their friends such as "I can't believe this ugly loser tried to dance with me" etc. The women who complain about men trying to dance with them probably wouldn't complain if some very attractive man started to dance with them.
Like a few other people have stated, how is a man suppose to tell that a woman isn't interested in him before he approaches her. Also if I'm dancing with a woman, I'm not expecting to hook up with her. I'm just reying to have fun. If I do hook up with her, then that is a bonus. | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:19:04 AM | | because sometimes it works. if you don't want men who possibly you find unattractive hitting on you, or dancing up on you, i suggest you either stay at home or invest in a burka | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:45:55 AM | I don't know what the problem is,i dance with women this way most of the time,and they seem glad i did,if i don't join them,they will come grab me,and force me to dance with them,life is good | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:12:44 AM | It has been 10 years ago since I danced at a bar but I'll try to help you.
You should know a dance floor is a public 'groove' for those wanting to hook up. When a woman shuns a man away then she's considered gay or bi, or if she has a boyfriend and she looks HOT then she's a picky slut. | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:24:37 AM | oh I dunno, I avoid dance clubs anymore. But yes, no duh...pretty much every man in that dance club is there to meet girls. The girls, it seems, may often be there to avoid being picked up by men and just to dance with their girlfriends. I suggest you go to gay bars if you want to avoid this conflict of interest.
Now as to whether guys should just come up to you and start dancing, I don't like that. But maybe I'm old fashioned. It was a much different time when girls were standing on the sidelines waiting for a boy to get the courage to come ask her to dance with him. These days, the idea of approaching a woman and asking her if she wants to dance is completely ludicrous, UNLESS you have first spent some time talking with her, having a drink, some laughs, etc..and then throw out "hey wanna dance".
But most of the time the girls are either bunched in a group making themselves unapproachable, or they are grinding with each other on the dance floor. Basically, guys are just doing what they gotta do to try to find a way to meet you. But personally I don't like it. I like the old way, as nerve wracking as it was for this guy at 13.
In any case, it is what it is. If you don't like it, then I suggest you find some good gay bars to go to with your girlfriends for a night of dancing. Seriously. | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:24:39 AM | I learned a long time ago to not jump in on the dancefloor...
I'm a terrible dancer anyway... except for two stepping and waltz... and if they're already on the dancefloor then they alreadyhave a partner.
But I do find it rather humorous to watch a bunch of girls, either solo or in a pack, on the dancefloor grinding away and watch the guys that try to horn in...
sad but funny... | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:35:55 AM | Lol I was having a boogy last night, went to dance with a girl who was near me, she kinda wasnt too intrested so I moved on. It's only a dance for goodness sake | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:36:25 AM | You didn't elaborate on if he was an attractive man or not so if the guy dances with her but doesn't get her number then he simply wasn't her type but she wasn't a ****.
If an ugly woman came up and asked me to dance or danced with me on the dance floor, never turned her down but if she asked for my number then I'd politely say she was my friend but not my dating type. | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:55:49 AM | There's always going to be guys who attempt to dance uninvited with women at clubs. I mean, OP some of the women on the dance floor will be totally receptive to such guys.
You say you only go there to dance and not to hook up, but dancing with a guy doesn't immediately mean you have to hook up with him. If you were approached on the dance floor by a guy who struck you as very attractive, I suspect you might be receptive to dancing with him. Good lord, you don't have to go home with him or anything dramatic like that.
But, I do agree that if a women makes it clear she isn't interested in dancing with him, a guy has no right to be angry. She's under no obligation to dance with a stranger just because he approached her. | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:58:19 AM | | In my small experience at clubs, usually the music is too loud out on the dance floor to actually be able to hear anything anybody says unless you're right inside their ear... and if you're comfortable getting that close, there's no reason not to dance with them anyway. | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:12:16 PM |
Why do some guys move in uninvited to try and dance with a girl then act like the girl is the jerk for not wanting to dance with them? Do guys think girls go out dancing only to meet and hook up with men? Just wondering what you men are thinking about the whole dancing situation.
IMHO I think this post is not very important but its what you want to know. They are being rejected and that is never fun. Not really that hard. Obviously a lot of men arent' that way. There are much bigger fish to fry I think but I hope this helps.
And to answer your question, in todays U.S., yes many women do go to clubs to just hook up with a guy. | |
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| Guys dancing uninvited with girls
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:12:42 PM | Yes "born", I'm old fashioned too and agreee......
I can still dance the whole night away but won't walk up and ask a girl to dance anymore considering how I've heard from my 20's friends how the women want to OREO and act like having sex on the floor now to give men a hard on for the parking lot instead of waiting til they go home for possible LTR.
Rather play some good pool for awhile then go home. | |
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