| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:20:26 AM | Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex, just wondering?
It seems strange that this is a singles dating site, men try their luck at free protitution and if it fails, they stop writing or trying to meet.
WHAT IS ALL THAT ABOUT, do men really want to meet up with strangers they know nothing about for sex, sometimes not even asked a name (to give to the clinic if any little viruses or diseases are shared during this meet).
To the women, am I the only one this happens to? Or do all women get men like this messenging them chancing their luck.
AND does anyone worry about catching some nasty with a total stranger, cos we all adults it is allowed to have relations with another human if that is what you are wanting. | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:27:50 AM | Hrm...... ya know if they stop messaging you because you refuse sex.....then chalk it up to just another horndog fish that just needed to be tossed back into the pond and start casting your line again for a better fish.
Men AND women are sexual creatures..... some are just have a highler libido or sex drive than others.
Look at it this way, if they stop messaging you because you refuse sex, then they are just another person that got weeded out. It's not rocket science really......say it with me "NEXT!" and call it a day. | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:40:23 AM | The answer is simple. YES. There ya go. A lot of men are on here looking for the quickest and easiest shot to the finish line and if you shoot them down, then they move on to find the next available target. Yes this is a singles site but it also doubles nicely as a hook up site, just depends on how you go about using it.
If someone stops talking to you because you turn them down, then so be it. Dont worry just move on. | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:03:18 AM | Does this question really warrant a thread? Yes there are guys looking for the quick hook-up... IS THIS SOME KIND OF NEWSFLASH. If Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies put up a profile online , Someone guy would be trying to get into her bloomers. There really is nothing thread worthy about this, This is something that EVERY woman online goes through at some point in online dating.
Why would it bother the Op if these guys stopped chatting with her, SHOULD THAT NOT BE A GOOD THING. Or does the Op revel in the attention, and miss it when they go away? If the Op is so offended by the actions of these quick hook-up artists, should she not be blocking them? obviously she is not as offended as she would want us to believe. Me think this is just another one of those LOOK AT ME THREAD, these guys keep wanting to get into my pants. Can we say attention seeker little boys and girls? | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:12:35 AM | Wildman-
I would like to believe that when a person makes the effort to contact me it's because there is a collective interest in ME-not just sex. Course, I can't speak for OP, but I would think she may feel the same way. It certainly wouldn't crush my ego if a man simply asked for sex and I declined and communication stopped because I want to be wanted for all of me-not just for the sexual bits.
Yes, this is termed a DATING site, but I'm not here for dating-as I enjoy the forums and it's clearly stated on my profile. I have no objection chatting to men or women, but I'm not here looking to find love or a hook-up, but I know, despite all of that I've had several men contact me wanting to meet and more. I was candid in all my replies that I'm here for forums only and never got a reply back....c'est la vie.
Just because some women deal with the 'nice shoes wanna f*ck' mentality of some members-not all guys act that way. ( Thank God ) | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:39:18 AM | To the OP wow do not feel bad about it as there are plenty of men who will not treat you like that.
I get women who stop talking to me the moment they find out I am disabled now tell me truthfully how lame that is huh?  Oh well their loss. 
Just do as I do and move on and pay them no mind as obviously you are better than that and obviously they are looking for only one or two things and that is money or sex. | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:21:39 PM | Loz, If you did not have that 75 mile restriction, I would have been emailing you for two months now and there is a little thing called the Atlantic Ocean between us ensuring there would not be any sex.
Do these guys ask for sex before you meet them in person? | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:46:59 PM | | Wow I cannot fathom why people don't get this one! Sex is a very strong drug for some and if they can get it from lonely, easily manipulated women they will! If not - they move on to the next target! If they don't call again - thank your lucky stars!! Don't let your heart get in the way of your brain - you have to have a thick skin on line dating (and away from the computer screen for that matter) in order to stay above the insanity of it all! | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:11:33 PM | 
I've never done it with a total stranger and I know that I won't. I have a gf determined to change that about me, but it's just ewwwwwwww. I'm hardly a prude, and I consider myself a very sexual person, but I do have to have that emotional connection. My gf can't believe that I slept with a mutual friend of ours, because he's not great looking and slightly goofy..... well, both of those things attracted me, but that emotional connection is pretty much what sparked the sex. It wasn't passionate or lusty and never will be and we are just good friends who happened to have a snuggle fest a couple of times. Even though it wasn't the best sex of my life in the technical sense, in the emotional sense, it ranks way up there and when I get old(er) and slightly violent almost kinky all-nighters are a thing of the past, I very much hope there is that good friend who snuggles and strokes and puts butterfly kisses down my spine while rubbing my tummy. Yum. A stranger can't give me that, and with the ewwwww factor, I can't approach the lust, and with the absence of trust, I can't be uninhibited. Ah, so, the poor fellas can't talk you into sex and they quit talking to you.... it's a filter and you just managed to sling one more monkey off your back and you are that much closer to finding the needle in the haystack. | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:25:07 PM | They stop messaging you because they know eventually they will find a woman who will bang them like a screen door in a hurricane or at least hope they will.
According to a few of the men I know who use POF, sex is not hard to find. People get horny, to each their own I guess. | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:27:22 PM | Some people just don't get it. Everyone is "GOD" on here. The site is free, so of course the majority of men are going to be on here for a chance at some free sex lol. Everyone's ego is sky high on this site.
You should really treat people on here as if you met them in person. | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:48:52 PM | LOZ
In this day & age and you really have no idea how to respond to your own question? Its fairly simple - when a female refuses sex it becomes a LOZ cause in our mind ~
Oooops I ment a lost cause . . . . we move onto another prospect that will provide us with a possitive result via our normal adult aspirations!
In this day and age and you have no clue???? | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:10:46 PM | ^^^^^Goodness, you can't be serious? Or maybe you really are...hmmm??? 
~OP~ I don't know what to say except ~ hmmmmmmmmm. I make it clear, I'm not here for frivolous encounters of any nature and I don't believe anyone has stopped writing for that particular reason. I've gone through extended periods of celibacy and there have been a few distraught by that reality, but not many. It's not that I don't love sex, but I require "love" before sex. My self-imposed reality seems to be respected by those who find value in that. I think you are just talking to men who don't get one simple reality: we are sexual beings, it's not about having sex, it's about who we have sex with!  | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:27:25 PM | Be grateful that they do, quit writing! At least they are not stalking you or whining about how you should change your mind for them!
The beauty is that you know quickly what they are interested in and you can make an informed decision about continuing to communicate with them or not! Sounds to me like the system works! ...well, that's what I think...anyway...  | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:53:30 PM | "when you refuse the sex"
It depends on how you refused. If you say 'not yet', the replies are right on target.
However, nobody thought of another aspect: The old 'friends-only' coffin. If I hear the "Let's just be friends" killer phrase, I drop her cold, too. Because that is nothing but a euphemism for "I don't find you sexually attractive". If that is clear early on, then what's the point? It does not make the man a horn dog, but it is masochistic to hang around a woman you are interested in who finds you uninteresting at best and repulsive at worst. Call me a penis-driven madman - yes, I want sex in a long term relationship. Is that really such a bad thing to ask for? According to most women, it is not, but when they ask for it, they seek fulfillment and togetherness. Men are just pigs when they have that mindset, it seems.
I am not getting into that 'can men and women be friends' thread. Suffice it to say that the woman I am interested in leaves the possibility of sex open until she either declines (and moves on) or it happens. It might take days, months or longer until the time is right, just don't rule it out, if you want more. Like some other poster said, why would you want to continue, if you just told him that sex is not going to be on the menu - ever? | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:13:20 PM | " Why is this such an issue? Obviously y'all wanted different things. Be glad to be rid of him and move on for God's sake"
 I could try for a million years and could not put it any better. I too am totally confused as to why this bloody thread was ever written. | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:19:57 PM | | I'm with Wolftx.... If sex is take'n out of it.... Whats the purpose ?? No sex isn't EVERYTHING, but its important. Why do I wanna be around a chick I'm sexually attracted to and she dosn't feel the same ?? I don't see why its a problem he stoped talk'n to you if you two are not on the same sheet of music.. Why do women act like sex is such a horrible thing ? Sometimes I feel like I'm on a site with a bunch of 5th graders.... | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:39:18 PM | Where to begin?
I dated one girl,woman, near my age and she thought sex was everything. One might think a man would be totally enthralled.
Well it wasn't quite like that.
What she thought would keep a man forever did not make up for one glaring deficiency; she was a paradigm of snobbery.
We had some things in common e.g. politics. I wanted it to work but eventually I had to let it go.
What do I want? Sex is part of the deal but not all of it.
I think women want what men want. But men may want one part sooner than most women. | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:42:56 PM | Re the Opost
I totally agree with post 18.
And would the Op please rephrase the title to something like:
Why do SOME/MANYmen stop messenging when you refuse the sex?
Or
Why do ALL men stop messenging ME when I refuse the sex?
Generalising is not cool! | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/23/2008 12:32:24 AM | how is that all day coffee thing working for you loz..
how many times has this happened to you Loz? YOu may be doing something or have something on your profile ( or whatever ) that is attracting those sort of guys.
This is a silly thread and how it is still here is a good question.
By some if not all of your posts, you don't seem to have much experience in things. or just don't understand things that the many others take for granted.
you do deserve an answer to your question though in spite of how obvious the answer is to many other people. it's because for the particular man who stopped talking with you, sex was his prime or only motivation behind speaking with you.
I think that you may be new to the dating world or something.
Be very careful out here, especially on this and similar sites. | |
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| Why do men stop messenging when you refuse the sex
Posted: 6/23/2008 12:57:50 AM | | your not the only one. I haven't met one guy on this site that hasn't hit me up for sex. how desperate do you have to be to use a dating site to get laid. they do make sites just for that. I don't know maybe I'm just thinking to a time when people still dated not just hooked up. Also too men assume because I'm overweight that I have to bow down to them because I should be greatful that a pig paid attention to the token fat friend. whatever. If I can't find someone to like me for everything I bring to the table sex or not I'll stay alone forever,I'm not settling to make them happy. | |
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