| Review Please
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:41:39 PM | I have written a profile and I get looked at a lot but no one is leaving messages. Was hoping some of you will take a look and maybe give some suggestions on what I maybe doing wrong,or could add.
Thanks so much. | |
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| Review Please
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:52:14 PM | replace the second pic with the frist .wish you the best | |
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Posted: 6/22/2008 8:00:26 PM | Let's start with the good stuff. I like your headline...can't recall I've seen that one yet, so points for originality.
Decent assortment of interests, but a few are general...having fun...talking? It's blue underlined huh...never realized those were "searchable" interests. But apparently family and joking around are too. I was thinking music and movies...if it's a broad-based interest (like more than you don't...don't have a favorite genre) then maybe leave it as is. Still better to specify...comedy movies..action, drama...jazz music, blues, classic rock?
About me, starts right off..that's good. I try and I believe...indefinite...if you're not sure...then the reader won't be either. Is she or not. Ahh.. you DO specify music tastes, I'd suggest put them in interests and take them out of about me. Just woman to woman, saying you like to try new things and open minded....it IS the internet, so often that's a perv magnet. The humor thing, laughing and smiling, it's a given. Show it rather than say it.
It's not bad, you have some good content, but some that is fairly standard..."generic". You cook, maybe put that in interests. Read profile writing tips....a common mistake, never ask for or allude to making contact.
Asking for a pic, that should be in your messaging restrictions so you can take that out.
Speaking of pics...not my strong area, but your main. It's intimidating....get a good main pic, a clear head shot looking at the camera and smiling.
A little work to do to shape it up into something much better. You have a good start, I'll tell ya I've reviewed thousands and very few are "just right" first draft, out of the chute. You can do it, you have the skills.
When you do an edit/rewrite post back here. | |
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| Review Please
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:11:59 PM | Hi CC, here is my rundown for you.
I am an outgoing, fun loving woman.
Out going is a good descriptive word,but funloving doesn't count as a personality traite. You need a paragrph here to tell us WHO you are. So come up with at least two, better yet three more sentences to describe your personality.
I try to keep active by riding my bike and lots of walking. I am an addict to guitar hero.....I love to rock!
I believe I am fun and energetic most day's and willing to try new thing's. I love music from classic rock,to dance,hard rock, reggae,top 10...you name it I have an open mind to it. I do what I can to keep people around me in good spirits and laughing. I am a little off wall with my sense of humor,just love to have fun and be smiling! I can be from very sarcastic to gentle and shy at times. I am not a bar type woman,more of a lounge type woman. I want to learn how to fish,and can fix most thing's with tape,butter knife and a meat pounder lmao! Just to let you know I also cook...real meal's.
There is some stuff in here that is out of place, sarcastic and shy are personality traites, and need to be at the top. Other than that, the elipsis, not sure that is spelled correctly, should only have three dots.
If you have an further questions...please feel free just to ask! I am always willing to answer!
We know what to do without being prompted, DELETE
I am very honest,and expect the same back.
The word "honest" is totally useless as a secriptive word. It is what some of us call an assumed given. DELETE
I don't think you'll get to far by peaking a lot,maybe leave a message sometime!
Same as above. DELETE
All I ask because I have a photo up,that you have one as well. Thanks!
This is a settings item, no need to say this. DELETE
You need to describe the UNIQUE personality traits of the man that you seek, make it a paragraph.
First DateGo for coffee, game of pool, movie....I am not sure? Don't need anything huge.
This is not great, but will pass.
I don't think I have ever really dated,so I am open to just about anything.
DELETE QUICKLY!
Not bad for the first round, try profile tips at the top of the page on this forum.
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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| Review Please
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:22:23 PM |
I don't think I have ever really dated,so I am open to just about anything. OFCB...good eye!! OP, any female.may as well paint a target....perv magnet, I was a little more subtle...but break a fingernail hitting DELETE!
Good catch!! | |
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| Review Please
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:45:45 PM | No one's yet evaluated your pics? Guess there's a reason I'm here.
The current second one clearly shows your face. (Um, perv magnet, perhaps re-crop.) The spanking, tiara, and the line art should leave the building as soon as you get new ones. (Here's a tip: get out the digital and a cute outfit, find a cool background, and take about 20 shots. Repeat later. Edit them and use the best.) Your current main doesn't show you off very well. The eyeball shot is interesting, but I'd replace that one too.
Just for grins, go to your own search, and switch out things until "you" are looking for "yourself." Check out the thumbnails on your fellow (?!) women to see how they present. (There's a reason I went with brilliant colors today.)
HTH | |
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Posted: 6/22/2008 9:14:10 PM | | See here's my thing. I am very honest and do expect the same back... so what am I supposed to do with that? Lie and say I am a liar ? | |
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Posted: 6/22/2008 9:47:32 PM | If you tell me you are a liar, I know you're probably telling me the truth. If you tell me you are honest, then I think you may be lying.
How many men do you think are going to read your profile and say, "Well, gee, I was hoping this gal was looking for someone dishonest, guess I better look elsewhere..."?
If you're going for maximum redundancy, you should also state how you like movies and music. Oh, wait... | |
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| Review Please
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:31:13 AM | do expect the same back
Just because you expect it doesnt mean it will happen
It's down to your feminine radar to figure out who's being honest and who sounds a bit shifty. | |
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Posted: 6/23/2008 9:36:49 AM | Okay,I will take the honesty part out...however I do take pride in the truth.
Its does have movies in there and what type of music as well. | |
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Posted: 6/23/2008 12:55:46 PM | | Hey Browolf, I checked your profile,I think I like your picture with the glasses a lot better. | |
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