| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 7:56:02 AM | I read a post on here about phone sex. I read some of the responses and it got me to thinking.
If a woman does have a job with in the sexual industry... say Erotic Phone Entertainment... at what point in the dating relationship would you prefer her tell you she has that sort of job?
I know in most "normal" job situations, the best time is first date/meeting. To get to know each other, etc. However, this is the kind of job a guy will either up and leave thinking you are a whore... or pay the bill and ask for sex.... thinking you are a whore. Or... that has been my experience so far. I would really like to have a chance to have a guy get to know WHO I am before he decides what I am due to misconcemptions of the job I do.
Thanks! | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:10:26 AM |
I would really like to have a chance to have a guy get to know WHO I am before he decides what I am due to misconcemptions of the job I do.
Ok, just lie.
The operative principle is this: the response you get to some communication with another person is the meaning of that communication to the other person.
You cannot control what another's response will be. In particular, you cannot make it convergent with what you'd have it be. You pretty much have to accept that as a reality.
Also, this thread's been done many times, so I'd recommend doing a thread search in order to avoid redundancy.
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:19:14 AM |
Ok, just lie.
I don't want to lie!
Which would you find more dispicable? That I do phone sex for a living or that I was capable of lying to you on our first date? | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:22:32 AM | One should never be ashamed of how they earn a living. If you are, then perhaps it is time to find a more respectful job so one is not placed in the position of lying about their occupation.
~tb~ | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:26:35 AM | Oh, I love my job. I am not ashamed of doing it at all. But, I am also very aware of what many men think of women who do a job like this.
I don't care about telling them what I do. I just wonder when learning about it would be easier on them. LOL! | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:46:23 AM | | I would refer to the job in general terms at first. "Erotic phone entertainment" should suffice, then you can be more descriptive if your date inquires or as you feel more comfortable. Maybe my definitions are different but I don't consider a phone sex operator to be a "sex worker" since you're not touching anyone or even in the customer's presence. It's more akin to being an actress. If the men you date think you're a whore because of this, something else is at play. They could all be numbskulls, or you could be presenting yourself as a naughty little kitty. The best bet, once you state your occupation, is to not talk about it afterward. Tell them, "I prefer you get to know me first and then I'll tell you more. Until then, I'm not comfortable going into details." Or get another job and claim that as your main occupation. | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:15:05 AM | Cougar,
My .02...Don't change anything. Telling them what you do for a living is like putting on a pair of turd goggles. It quickly reveals if the guy is a turd or not.
Arrogantly assumes your a whore = turd (flush and move on) | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:17:23 AM |
Oh, I love my job. I am not ashamed of doing it at all. But, I am also very aware of what many men think of women who do a job like this.
I don't care about telling them what I do. I just wonder when learning about it would be easier on them. LOL!
Sorry, I misunderstood.
Consider it a blessing and a tool for weeding out the less than desireables. . .
If ya tell them and they bolt, then they weren't for you in the first place.
And tell them whenever you are comfortable. | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:36:16 AM | I dont think its any different to tell them about this job than any other one.
For me, I would not date anyone in the sexual industry but thats me. I don't care who a person is to be honest, if they are in the porn industry or sex industry. I dont want to date them and get to know them. I dont want someone I'm with being sexual in any way with other men or women.
There are no misconceptions. If you are in the sexual industry, I have the right to not want that around me. | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:43:36 AM | | One way or another they find out eventually; early on, they don't feel led on by falsehoods, and you may find a man working in the same industry as you, if you're lucky. Or perhaps a more tolerant individual. | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:46:29 AM | | One way or another they find out eventually; early on, they don't feel led on by falsehoods, and you may find a man working in the same industry as you, if you're lucky. Or perhaps a more tolerant individual. | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:53:54 AM | A job is a job...
If they are going to be judgmental about that particular job it doesn't matter when you tell them. Best to find out early on, before you get attached.
If you start out vague and they get all uptight about it when you give full disclosure then they'll accuse you of lying and all sorts of nonsense you don't need...
edit: Rivereye beat me to it... twice.... yeah, what he said... | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:12:51 AM | Telling them up front would be easiest. Obviously it shouldn't be the first thing you tell a guy but don't hide it either. If a guy asks tell him you work for a call center, when he asks further just tell him the truth.
Not going to lie though, a lot of guys won't share your opinion of the job so don't be surprised if the majority of your dates are turned off by it though. Just realize it's going to come out eventually and for those that don't have a problem with it they'll probably be more put off that you tried to hide the fact from them.
So I guess it comes down to what you'd rather have in a date, have a guy turned away because he doesn't approve of your job or have a guy turned away because he doesn't approve of you trying to hide it from him. | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:24:38 AM | | If you were a phone sex operator I would prefer being told that over the phone rather than in person. Or just let me figure it out for myself as the phone call progresses. | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:37:57 AM |
A job is a job...
If they are going to be judgmental about that particular job it doesn't matter when you tell them. Best to find out early on, before you get attached.
It has nothing to do with being judgemental. I dont want that lifestyle around me. I'm sorry, but I think its sleazy. I am not going to treat them differently; I'll be nice to them; but I dont want my SO talking sleazy with men and women. | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:35:46 AM | I think that if you are aware that some people may find some aspect of you/your life to be a major deal-breaker then it is your responsibility (and in your best interest too) to let them know as soon as possible, probably even before you date.
A person has a right to say "I do not want to get involved with anyone who works in the sex industry". It would be regarded as an immoral industry by many (especially, but not exclusively by religious people) and this is not "a misconception" but a belief/stance that is as valid as your own. The same applies to various other jobs and lifestyle choices, naturally.
I doubt that the assumption that you are open to being paid for sex is 100% to do with your job: it may be the type of man you are finding as well as other aspects of your behaviour (and probably a large amount of wishful thinking on their behalf). | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 12:05:20 PM |
It has nothing to do with being judgemental. I dont want that lifestyle around me. I'm sorry, but I think its sleazy.
Mkay... maybe "judgemental" sounds a little harsh... No biggie. I just don't know what else to call it.
Not argueing about it or disagreeing with you're standards. Rune3 said it best below you... and I agree. Everybody has a right to use whatever filters they want...
I guess it just depends on which side of the filter you're on as to whether or not it's being judgmental...
I sell sex toys on the side... and I'm pretty happy on this side of the filter.
I'm fairly judgmental about some occupations myself...
I won't date any politicians or drug addicts or anybody that waves a bible in my face. I MIGHT date a lawyer... | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 12:08:49 PM | So basically be up front and honest from the first meeting on. Guys will appriciate that more than anything? And the ones who are okay with it will stick arounf. The ones who aren't will walk away. Which basically leaves me where I was to begin with.
A person has a right to say "I do not want to get involved with anyone who works in the sex industry". It would be regarded as an immoral industry by many (especially, but not exclusively by religious people)
This I can understand very much... and respect. Most men THAT religiously inclined, I won't be interested in anyway. I live a pretty liberal life, out spokenm, and am Pagan to boot. They and I would not get along from the first hand shake  | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 12:13:35 PM | you're not quite a hooker or stripper, but you are more of masturbation aid - I don't think I could take you seriously, no matter when you told me. Telling me up front would be best for us to have a casual thing going. I'd be annoyed if you hypothetically let me develop feelings over time believing you worked in the call service industry when you're far from a normal customer service rep. even if the guy likes you enough to keep seeing you despite hating your job once he finds out - you open yourself up for a very conflicted relationship in which he may resent you every time you have to "work."
Lying about something like that alone, or not bringing it up early on would destroy any chance of me taking a woman seriously. just tell them right off the back and stop kidding yourself that you are only trying to give yourself a chance. You are, by lying...and you expect to be taken seriously. yeah ok.. | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 12:19:02 PM | | I think that would be a deal breaker for most men..not all...but most...so tell everyone up front so they can deciede for themselfs..whats the point in starting out in a relationship if you cant be honest about yourself | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 12:32:07 PM | Where to begin...
Your job your choice right? Well then you know this will either be a deal breaker because some would see it as an immoral way of earning a living or they will want to exploit you because of your career choice.
Get to know you? ummm well i think your career will be a stumbling block really. I don't think anyone who would be alright with your career choice would have enough depth to want to get to know the 'real you'. And the real you has phone sex with lonely old men and pigs. What more would anyone want or need to know to make a judgement on dating you?
This of course is only my opinion but i think it is a valid one that you will find quite common. | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 12:35:30 PM |
whats the point in starting out in a relationship if you cant be honest about yourself
I agree totally!!
And to be honest, I WAS telling men as soon as possible what I did. That way, I DID weed them out.
....it was a guy friend who told me to not tell men right away.
So I was confused and wanted to know which method YOU found best. | |
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| At What Point To Tell You About My Job?
Posted: 6/23/2008 1:02:36 PM |
And the real you has phone sex with lonely old men and pigs.
LOL... not exactly... the lonely old men and pigs part perhaps....
I was chatting with a friend a while back who also works in that biz. She had her webcam on and I was watching her while she had to take a call.
It was really humorous... it was obvious to me that SHE was not having phone sex.. she was saying what he wanted to hear in order to get off...
The whole time she was going back and forth between trying not to laugh and rolling her eyes...
Like a used car salesman...
Maybe I'm just a sleazy freak for being able to make that distinction... so be it.
Which basically leaves me where I was to begin with.
There! See how helpful we were?!
You were on the right track and we confirmed it for you! | |
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