| GEtting married= must have children? and v v.
Posted: 6/23/2008 5:08:52 PM | I thought that this was a bit different take on why people get married.
I don't know how far back you have to go in order to get 100% of couples marrying just to have children. THis may be a religious custom so perhaps only certain cultures deeply entertwined with a certain religion may have this.
THe comment was that people only get married so that they can have children.
and so people who don't want to have children have NO REASON TO GET MARRIED.
It was once said to me that married people who don't have children are being "selfish".
1. Are you dating to get a mate so that you can have children?
2. IN your mind, is this the only reason why people get married?
3. Are childless married couples selfish? | |
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| GEtting married= must have children? and v v.
Posted: 6/23/2008 5:32:09 PM | Marriage is a celebration of two people's commitment towards each other. Nothing less, nothing more.
I understand the couples that follow societal convention and marry then have children, but I don't think any less of a couple that marries and is childless. Nor do I feel that marriage is a necessity in order to have children. | |
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| GEtting married= must have children? and v v.
Posted: 6/23/2008 7:20:28 PM | Getting married does not equal having children. OP - some married couples can't have kids. Other choose to be "child free". I think it's far more selfish to bring a child into this world (they didn't ask to be born), into a broken home; dysfunctional lifestyle; a lack of caring; lack of education; lack of love, and lack of security. There are people out there who have no business having kids. Either they are egg donors or sperm donors, not parents.
I chose not to bring children into this world. I suppose in the 1970's (when I married), we were looked at outcase. I chose to be true to myself, to be honest, even if it meant going against the grain. I have no regrets about not having kids. I found out in 1981 that I couldn't have kids. | |
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| GEtting married= must have children? and v v.
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:35:20 AM | The general idea a long time ago was people get married, procreate, raise families to perpetuate the species. Still for the most part the “ideal” for most people. Since humans have free will they can decide for themselves if they wish to get married, have a family, be completely alone or even be fancy free all their lives.
1. Are you dating to get a mate so that you can have children?
No, I personally feel my time for that has passed. I wouldn’t be opposed if a man had his own.
2. IN your mind, is this the only reason why people get married?
Since there are people that actually look for others that don’t ever want children along with people in their 60’s, 70’s and 80’s getting married, I would say no.
3. Are childless married couples selfish?
Absolutely not, everyone has to choose for themselves how they wish to live. There are already enough unwanted children in the world. The only time I have ever truly witnessed a married couple being told they were “selfish” was from one of the couple’s parents because it meant no grandchildren for them since they only had one child. Decide for yourself in that situation who was really being “selfish”.
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| GEtting married= must have children? and v v.
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:37:34 AM | The basis of marriage was to work together to raise the children produced from the marriage. Children need a lot of support to reach adult hood.
People who get married who do not have children are not selfish, they just want to be together. | |
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| GEtting married= must have children? and v v.
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:48:59 AM | The basis of marriage was to work together to raise the children produced from the marriage
Umm...nah...sorry wrong
It was all about power and alliances. Children were a byproduct.
Nowadays...there's many other reasons for marriage, but being inlove is only a contemporary notion.
1. Are you dating to get a mate so that you can have children?
2. IN your mind, is this the only reason why people get married?
3. Are childless married couples selfish?
1. Its something Id like to do, regardless of whether or not more children were involved.
2. Marriage to me is about my union with another human being. Its the ultimate honor I bestow on someone I love.
3. Nup. There's no pre-requisite for children within a marriage. After all, as I already mentioned, thats not what marriage was about anyway. | |
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| GEtting married= must have children? and v v.
Posted: 6/24/2008 12:02:58 PM | To me, marriage is about the relationship, and pledging a supposedly lifelong commitment to each other. I do feel sorry for those who marry and don't have children, because I think they are missing out on a wonderful part of life. But I don't think they are actually doing anything wrong by not having children.
I was married for 3 years before having a child.
Of course I'm divorced right now, but I would certainly marry again if I find the right person. I've got a child (full time), and chances are good that whoever I marry will also have at least one child. And I'm 36 - I'm not so sure about having another child at this point, but I would marry anyway. In fact, my ex-LTR had to have a hysterectomy after we had been together a year. However, we got engaged 5 months later. The ability to have children or not had nothing to do with the decision. | |
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| GEtting married= must have children? and v v.
Posted: 6/24/2008 12:10:20 PM | At 47 I do still hope to get married...
There will be no more children in my life, I don't need my picture on a tabloid for oldest pregnant woman.
To me marriage is about the commitment between 2 people. I have lived common law with a man... to me it is just not the same.
~Charmed~ | |
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| GEtting married= must have children? and v v.
Posted: 6/24/2008 12:37:52 PM | 1. Are you dating to get a mate so that you can have children?
Um...no and no? I'm not dating to "get a mate" and I am not planning to have more children, regardless of dating status.
2. IN your mind, is this the only reason why people get married?
No. People get married because they want to legally and publicly make a commitment.
3. Are childless married couples selfish?
??? How is it selfish to not have children? I dont' follow this reasoning at all. What, are we in danger of becoming extinct? Is there a quota on marriage, and only the ones w/kids deserve it?
I've never heard anyone w/sense say this. Probably because it makes no sense at all.
It is more selfish to have children and contribute to overpopulation than it is to not have children. Of course, I am perfectly happy with my selfish decision to raise 2 kids. :)
And to answer the unasked question... I am dating, I may end up w/a long term mate at some point in my life, I am not having more children, and lastly, NO I do not want to remarry. At least not a legal marriage. Maybe a private commitment ceremony. But the reason has nothing to do with kids.
Kaylie | |
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| GEtting married= must have children? and v v.
Posted: 6/24/2008 2:13:54 PM |
3. Are childless married couples selfish?
No. There is absolutely nothing "selfish" about not having children. I don't understand how any intelligent person could think this way. | |
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| GEtting married= must have children? and v v.
Posted: 6/24/2008 2:42:46 PM | | I'm getting married to have children. For me it would be the only reason to get married, because I do not need a piece of paper for a committment. I do not think childless couples are selfish, but that is a lot of paperwork for no children unless they decided later on not to have kids. | |
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| GEtting married= must have children? and v v.
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:28:26 PM | Some people think getting married is just another way of the govt to interfere with our lives.
If married people have children, I can see how marriage and the govt would help encourage the spouses to remain committed to each other for the sake of the children.
Other than that, divorce can be messy and complicated. I would agree with getting married by your religion, but I just think that marriage by the govt is more of a legal issue when it comes to enforcement, and less of an emotional issue.
I think two people should choose to love each other every day instead of getting married and it prevents them from taking each other for granted or getting lazy in the relationship. | |
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| GEtting married= must have children? and v v.
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:23:24 PM | "Getting married does not equal having children. OP - some married couples can't have kids. Other choose to be "child free". I think it's far more selfish to bring a child into this world (they didn't ask to be born), into a broken home; dysfunctional lifestyle; a lack of caring; lack of education; lack of love, and lack of security. There are people out there who have no business having kids. "
I agree 100%. There is this prevailing line of thought that people who raise kids are more mature and responsible...but look at how many dysfunctional kids and families are out there......also a lot of people think you need to have kids to solidify or complete a relationship...but isn't it interesting that most (probably more than 80%) seperations/divorces occur after a kid comes into the picture.
Bottom line....There is nothing wrong with not having kids and the decision does not define your maturity level and or character. | |
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