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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:42:38 AM | Hey ladies..heres the deal. Ive been seeing this girl for quiet sometime now, actually almost a year, and everythng was going gravy, until i called her stupid, or something, and she completely lost interest. I emailed her couple of times ,sent her a text msg and did everything in power to get SOMETHING (anything) from her, but its like shes completely cut me out of her life....I dont know, maybe she found someone new, or something similar, but should i keep trying until she submits??...we've been through soemthing like this before and the last time it happened,,i was able to win her back, but now its been almost a month since ive been trying...and i dont want to keep calling the girl like some kinda loser,,,,but she is very much irreplaceable......and i couldnt stand the thought of her pretty face kissing another guy but me,,,
I need some in put here pls,....what are the limits a guy can go??...I know, usually when a girl shows dis-interest in me....i simply move on and completely disregard her...But this girl was so perfect in every single way, i'd worship the devil to have her...
anyways thanks in advance | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:50:09 AM | If she was so perfect to you, why did you feel the need to call her stupid?
Maybe she doesn't want to waste her time with a man who'll sit there insulting her?
Or a man who thinks that she's some trophy to be "won"?
You commented on trying until she "submits"?
What kind of relationship is that? Sounds more like you just want this woman under your control than anything else.
and i couldnt stand the thought of her pretty face kissing another guy but me,,,
Comments like that just reinforce the idea that it has nothing to do with you caring for this woman... just that you can't stand the fact that she would be with anyone but you. The jealous control freak type of thing.
If you want to be with this woman, then show her the respect she deserves. Don't treat her like some sort of object or prize.
Why were you insulting her in the first place?
And what else had happened that caused this? Because somehow, I seriously doubt that one instance of calling someone stupid would be enough to end a year long relationship.
Perhaps she was feeling used or unappreciated? Maybe she's seen the incredibly sexist and insulting posts you've made on the forums?
Maybe it's the fact that you're on a dating site listed as "Single"?
Perhaps instead of trying to "win her back"... you should look at yourself, and see what you can do to be worth having? | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:53:16 AM | Uhm...let me get this straight....you'd "worship the devil" to have her, but yet you found it appropriate to call her names? What are you, in grade 6? Grow up.
Since this has happened before I am sure that she has had enough of your bullying and has decided, very wisely, to move on to someone who will respect her and not resort to childish behaviour.
It's been a month. Leave her be. Learn from this. | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:53:40 AM | 
Geez Adam...I think you covered just about everything there
we've been through soemthing like this before and the last time it happened,,i was able to win her back
Honestly OP...if you were soooooo stupid to do something again that caused so many problems the first time...the fact that you did it again...you aint likely to get her back. | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:20:27 AM | Adam, once again you do your family proud.
Such a sage young man.
OP, Adam covered it......please read and re-read his post and learn...... | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:22:49 AM | adam...
thanks for your response, i really appreciate it....but im far from a control freak....
basically the reason i called her stupid is because shes so random at times, and while shes an A student,,she appears to be devoid of common sense (at times), which isnt a bad thing btw
But my intention wasnt to depreciate her at all...i just said what i said in a split of a moment and i regret doing it
You have no idea how pretty this girl is. I mean, not even the trophy kind of pretty, im talking about her sense of style and taste. Shes a model (one of the hottest) herself and the chances of getting a hotter model than her are nil...
and what kills me more is that she planned on spending the rest of HER life with me...everytime we chilled she worshipped the floor i walked on and would do anythng for me...so the thought of her showing such level of passion to another guy kills me, cuz i know she displays emotions very easily
I duno maybe i have low emotional IQ or something, but i dont see anythig wrong with wanting a girl youve been seeing for a year.
Other things have happened prior to me calling her stupid, but they were minor,,nothing to be sad about.
Like during new years eve for example, she wanted to share the new year kiss with me,,,and we planned it for about a month.... 10 minutes before the clock hit she msged me asking where i was..and i told her i was already there,,,,but i wasnt,,,,the time came and went and she waited for me,,,but i was too ashamed to tell her i had gone to New York for the night....she got pissed,,,but i eventually won her back...which is why im still pushing for her right now,,,because i think i still have a chance...but im losing hope :( | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:27:17 AM |
i called her stupid, or something, and she completely lost interest. What did you expect her to do? Be flattered?
should i keep trying until she submits? She's made it clear that she wants nothing to do with you.
Keep trying only if you want to prove to everyone that you are a creep.
she is very much irreplaceable. Yet, you called her stupid?
.....and i couldnt stand the thought of her pretty face kissing another guy but me, She's not your girlfriend. She wants nothing to do with you.
Who she kisses is her choice; and since she no longer has anything to do with you, it doesn't matter if you like it or not.
Get over her, you come off sounding like a potential stalker. | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:35:49 AM |
You have no idea how pretty this girl is. I mean, not even the trophy kind of pretty, im talking about her sense of style and taste. Shes a model (one of the hottest) herself and the chances of getting a hotter model than her are nil... *wonders how the OP imagines that this demonstrates that he's not objectifying this woman...* | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:43:35 AM | Objectifying is too strong a word. Im just fascinated by her phsyical beauty and sense of style, and i want you to have an understanding of how no woman out there could possibly compete with her. Theres nothing wrong with being hot, and she just happens to be the hottest one and im trying to tell you guys that.
Objectifying would have been the case if i wanted her for NOTHING but her body, but like i said previously, shes an A student and has some nice things to say, and sometimes even provides valid in puts on MY sense of style,,,so i also like her mind because of that. | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:50:55 AM | Other things have happened prior to me calling her stupid, but they were minor,,nothing to be sad about
This is minor eh? VVV
during new years eve for example, she wanted to share the new year kiss with me,,,and we planned it for about a month.... 10 minutes before the clock hit she msged me asking where i was..and i told her i was already there,,,,but i wasnt,,,,the time came and went and she waited for me,,,i was too ashamed to tell her i had gone to New York for the night....she got pissed,,,but i eventually won her back...
Honestly....and you had the audacity to call HER stupid?
I wouldnt offer any advice even if I had it. Leave the girl alone. | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:51:43 AM | | I wouldn't want to be with someone, who is so sensitive like that. You sound like you love and want to live the rest of your life with her. Not the type you would want to be with anyways. Calling somebody stupid is not a cool thing to do, but its not like she has never called you names. Move on, no matter how pretty she is. YOu want somebody to built a long term relationship not relationship with a child. You dealing with immuture low self-steam individual. Take my advice move on. Unless you want only sex from her. Thats the question you must ask yourself? | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:52:57 AM |
basically the reason i called her stupid is because shes so random at times, and while shes an A student,,she appears to be devoid of common sense (at times), which isnt a bad thing btw... But my intention wasnt to depreciate her at all...i just said what i said in a split of a moment and i regret doing it
Do you see how your initial (and, therefore, basically self-defining) response was to depricate her by defending your reasoning for calling her stupid (and admitting it ain't the first time you've done so)? And your second respond was to make lame-azz excuses for your behavior.
Then you carry on about how beautiful and hot she is. You appear to care about the wrapping and not the contents or you wouldn't treat them so haphazardly. And I'm not sure why you would call her stupid cuz you were a lyin-azz pri** and went to NY when you were supposed to be with her, but I can d*** sure identify a narcissist when he opens his mouth. You don't deserve her and she deserves better than you. You ain't as bright as you think you are. You need recognize some flaws in yourself and work to control those before you go jacking with other peoples' feelings and lives. Leave the girl alone. | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:58:56 AM | Op im my opinion you are really lucky she talked to you and gave u another chance after new years.
It sounds to me like you are all hung up in how hot she is. You may appreciate her mind or say you do but i think its all about the trophy. Im sure she knows this too which is why she is IGNORING you.
Leave the woman alone let her be. You have messged her tried to apoligize and if she wants you in her life she will talk to you.
If you really worship her like you say you do, then you would treat her like the great woman she is and not be a total a**hole to her.
So if she does for some crazy reason call you again you need to kiss her feet and tell her how much she means to you and how you will not hurt her feelings any more. | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:59:04 AM |
Like during new years eve for example, she wanted to share the new year kiss with me,,,and we planned it for about a month.... 10 minutes before the clock hit she msged me asking where i was..and i told her i was already there,,,,but i wasnt,,,,the time came and went and she waited for me,,,but i was too ashamed to tell her i had gone to New York for the night....she got pissed
Im really glad she's pissed you off.
You sound a TOTAL CREEP. | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:59:56 AM | In the 1st sentence of this thread, you stated:
everythng was going gravy
But later in that post you pointed out:
we've been through soemthing like this before then you clarified
Other things have happened prior to me calling her stupid
Like during new years eve for example, she wanted to share the new year kiss with me,,,and we planned it for about a month.... 10 minutes before the clock hit she msged me asking where i was..and i told her i was already there,,,,but i wasnt,,,,the time came and went and she waited for me,,,but i was too ashamed to tell her i had gone to New York for the night.... To me, it doesn't sound like things ever were "going gravy".
It sounds like you 2 bickered during your entire relationship, and you showed a lack of respect for her throughout the relationship.
She simply realised that she deserves better than bickering, broken promises, and a lack of respect. | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:12:13 AM | thanks ferru, i'll keep that in mind.
"going gravy" is a very subjective term. To me any relationship that constitutes of bickering, broken promses etc is considered as the ideal (Thats all i know) Ive never known a "gravy" relationship where both parties never bickered or broke promises. So when i say we were doing "gravy", im only comparing it to the common relationship between man and woman. And she never realy made that much fuss about the small things,and while she got pissed about the new york incidence, she also believed in me so much that she was able to take me back..
But thanks for the in put still | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:16:54 AM | You are showing alot of early signs of being an abusive type of personality. Were you brought up around males that were abusive to women? She saw the warning signs and fled before it escalated. You are mean to her, then remorseful and then try to win her back. That is called the honeymoon phase. In psychological terms, she is your source for the drama that you seem to feed on. It is the standard pattern pattern of how most narcissistic abusers start out. Then as the relationship unfolds, each time, the mistreatment will escalate a bit more, to see "in your own words" how far you can go.
It`s a fix to you like a drug. The whole drama of it.
The sad part is, that if you are a narcissist, there really isn`t a whole lot of treatment for you. It is a personality flaw. They don`t have a pill to correct it. You could either reaed up on it to try to work on yourself , and stop this cycle (it`s not that uncommon, alot of guys have it) Or keep in mind that every one of your relationships will probably go like this and probably escalate in physical violence unless the girl leaves before this happens. The problem is, that even if you don`t care about how the girl feels when you say nasty things to her or possibly hit her. And I know you think that it is warranted, and she deserves it, this is not normal healthy behavior. And it is very likely that if you let it get out of hand, you will end up in trouble legally and possibly incarcerated., ruining your own life, which I am sure is your only concern. Get help dude. Or do women a favor and quit dating. | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:21:09 AM | basically the reason i called her stupid is because shes so random at times, and while shes an A student,,she appears to be devoid of common sense (at times), which isnt a bad thing btw
And instead of being a caring partner, and trying to help her understand things she didn't... you insulted her. Yeah, that's smack to the face material right there.
If anyone ever pulled crap like that with me, I would be gone in a flash.
You have no idea how pretty this girl is. I mean, not even the trophy kind of pretty, im talking about her sense of style and taste. Shes a model (one of the hottest) herself and the chances of getting a hotter model than her are nil...
Again, you're focusing on her looks. You might say you don't, but it's clear in all you say that this woman is just a trophy to you. Who the hell cares what she looks like? How does that matter in any way? It's who she is that should matter to you... but you're just focusing on her appearance. You want to keep this beautiful woman for yourself, regardless of how you treat her like crap.
She definitely deserves better.
and what kills me more is that she planned on spending the rest of HER life with me...everytime we chilled she worshipped the floor i walked on and would do anythng for me...so the thought of her showing such level of passion to another guy kills me, cuz i know she displays emotions very easily
Well, she must have some serious issues with self respect if she would worship a man who would treat her like crap. Someone who objectifies me doesn't get my worship, they get my foot kicking their ass out the door.
You just sound like a jealous control freak to me. And the more you say, the clearer that becomes.
Like during new years eve for example, she wanted to share the new year kiss with me,,,and we planned it for about a month.... 10 minutes before the clock hit she msged me asking where i was..and i told her i was already there,,,,but i wasnt,,,,the time came and went and she waited for me,,,but i was too ashamed to tell her i had gone to New York for the night....she got pissed,,,but i eventually won her back...which is why im still pushing for her right now,,,because i think i still have a chance...but im losing hope :(
This right here shows me that she is DAMN LUCKY to be rid of you. I'm sorry, but you are the biggest ass I have seen in a long time.
Not only did you blow off sharing a New Year's kiss with her, which you'd both been planning, and which I'm sure meant a hell of a lot to her... but you LIED to her...
Instead of being where you'd promised, you took off like an ass.
Right then and there she should have broken all contact with you and never looked back. There is no way in hell someone like you deserves ANY sympathy. You've made it quite clear that you're one hell of a horrible person.
With any luck, she'll find someone who will treat her with love and respect. Neither of which you've done. Someone who will love her for WHO she is, not just what she looks like. Someone who will help her grow as a person, not just try and keep her under his thumb.
I hope that she can find true happiness. Because she deserves it after having to suffer through being with an ass like you. NOBODY deserves the treatment you've given her. EVER.
EDIT:
"going gravy" is a very subjective term. To me any relationship that constitutes of bickering, broken promses etc is considered as the ideal (Thats all i know) Ive never known a "gravy" relationship where both parties never bickered or broke promises. So when i say we were doing "gravy", im only comparing it to the common relationship between man and woman. And she never realy made that much fuss about the small things,and while she got pissed about the new york incidence, she also believed in me so much that she was able to take me back..
I call total BS. There is no way in hell that ANYONE would think that two people constantly bickering and one person constantly treating the other like crap is "IDEAL".
It's an abusive and horrid relationship.
A relationship is about love, and trust, and respect. About helping each other grow as people. About making each other happy through everything you do. About letting the other know that they will always be loved, and safe, and needed, and respected.
What you were doing to this woman is montrous. And people like you should be locked away for a damn long time until you can get your head fixed. | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:28:28 AM | You seem to like this girl so much yet you've been on here for at least a month that I know of looking for other women, and saying you are single.
You screwed up. She doesn't want you. Move on.
You've always come across in the forums as a guy who can get anyone. Maybe the fact you can't have her anymore is what is bothering you. But from the way you treated her, she's not stupid at all, very smart to get away now while she can.
You're going to learn eventually in life that while ''girls'' may want a bad boy because they are indeed stupid enough to think they can change him, eventually we grow into independent women who won't settle for less than stellar treatment. | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:34:13 AM | | Then on top of it all, you come on here and tell everyone how crappy you treated her to get a reaction--guess you need attention, or perhaps the next source for your narcissism. Do yourself a favor and google NPD- Narcissistic Personality Disorder- or get yourself to a shrink. You are not a bad boy, you are one really messed up abusive dude. | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:41:20 AM | To me any relationship that constitutes of bickering, broken promses etc is considered as the ideal Maybe that's why this woman doesn't want to be around you?
I'd like to think that most women are hoping for a relationship without bickering, broken promises and being called stupid.
Ive never known a "gravy" relationship where both parties never bickered or broke promises. I don't know what kind of environment you grew up in, but I can assure you that the general membership of society typically doesn't consider that type of relationship to be ideal.
Maybe you should 1st learn what an ideal relationship is. Then hope to have one.
Unlike you, this woman eventually learned that she didn't have an ideal relationship, and she simply walked away from it.
she also believed in me so much that she was able to take me back But she only allowed you one more strike after that incident. Now you're out. | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 9:02:41 AM | The only thing further, at this point, I would like to add/reiterate is, OP you want, now, what you cannot have and didn't truly appreciate when you had it right in front of you. You don't know how to treat a "good thing" when it's right under your nose.
You just want "the one that got away" now that she's gone. ~shakes head~
And yes, I think you were objectifying her. Just my opinion.
Good thing she didn't waste more of her valuable time on you.
The only thing I wish for you is that somewhere soon you actually get a clue and wise up. | |
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| hey ladies...your thoughts pls
Posted: 6/25/2008 9:11:44 AM | The sad thing is, he will continue to attract beautiful women with little substance who are drama queens and addicted to the drama just like he is....they are the ''stupid'' girls who think they can change a bad boy....or they simply won't care because they'll have a hot guy on their arm...well some of the time.
So basically what he is looking for is a carbon copy of himself....just in a woman form. | |
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