| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:41:51 AM | i have been bullied at work on occasions, but im not gonna bang on about that.
what nearlie reduced me, to tears, and made a few others think last nite is, to cut a long story short.......
a few weeks ago we had this young lad start at work, to me he came across as just verry verry shy, and i dont know...keept himself to himself...mabe a mild form of autisem or something......
so he had a few problems grasping some things, but i think that was all plainley to do with nervers.......
they really started picking on him straight away...this ****ing...and gossiping, at how crap he is etc.....his life was made a misery.
he was moved from one job, and one depertment to another.
in the end i heard out manager say ( who i considerd as nice to that point) oh well he can be my **** now untill he leaves.....
well that was the beginning of "fox-hunting" the dogs was on the loose.....
a few times when i walked past, i heard senior members of staff have a go at him.
us gals there, tried to take him under our wing, as we thought hes ok, just needs some things explaining a few times.
and with some members of staff he really started coming out of himself.
then all of a sudden he was gone.
then yesterday we hear, that he go backed into a corner, by 3 members of senior management, another looking on........
telling him how useless and rubbish he is at his job.......
the one looking on actually went round after telling the tale as if it was funny.
the worring thing is that 3 of the management involved, are actually our managers on nights...pffffffffffft nice huh?
now the general manager of the place is on holiday at the mo, but one of the girls said when he is back she will have a word with him about what went on, and some of us said we will back her up.
is it the right thing to do? as he prob will not be coming back..he is better off out of there.....
is it just me or the bigger the workplace, the more bullying is tolerated?
has anyone been bullyd, and what did you do about it?
thanx, maz . | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:52:27 AM | English labour laws are different from Canadian law, and US law.
As far as "bullying" at work...it happens. Usually it is not tolerated, especially when there are witnesses to it.
If no witnesses...it didn't happen.
Wish there was more to say...but there isn't really. | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 9:10:02 AM | Yeah...that is so very wrong that they did that to him. I would most def. talk to the big man when he gets back. My cousin is mildly retarded. He is now living in an assisted living home, but my aunt had gotten him hooked up with a place that found jobs for people with handicaps. He worked at a private hospital as an 'assitant' to the janitor. He really loved his job and the guy that we worked with was super nice to him. But I remember back years ago that a lot of the other staff would pick on him...I'm talking nurses, doctors, etc. It was sad really. I'm not sure whether or not he still works there or not...but I know my aunt raised a huge stink over the whole ordeal with the hospital administration.
It is sad that men and women who have disabilites are often ostracized when trying to lead a 'normal' life. Growing up my mother always told me that them having a disability was God's way of protecting them from the craziness in this world. I always try to keep that in mind when I meet someone that is not like me.
~Welder's Girl~ | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 9:49:10 AM | I am a very bright woman who excelled at all her jobs, and had an excellent work record in the past.
I worked for one branch of the government for many years until I transferred to another in order to get a promotion.
I wound up with a bully for a boss that had already driven 2 other women to nervous breakdowns. There were five employees under him, and 3 were on antideressants.
I felt like I couldn't quit because I was very close to early retirement age, and didn't want to lose my benefits.
I had always taken good care of myself, worked out regularly, and was in great shape. But I would go home from work (by six) so exahusted I would just fall in bed and sleep till the next morning. I was too miserable too cook, so I just ate whatever junk food I could pick up on the way home. I didn't clean my house for almost 2 years. I tried hard, but couldn't even succeed in getting it picked up.
I lost all my friends, and my social life ended, as I just quit trying to go anywhere.
I only drank occasionally in the past, but before I got on anti-depressants, I would medicate myself by getting sloshed every night.
I gained 40 lbs in the three years I worked there.
His bullying me fianllly got so bad that I just lost it. I was extremely close to bringing a gun into the work place and splatting my boss's brains against the wall. (within one day).
I quit that day, and got disability.
Since then I have learned that employee abuse is almost epidemic. Well over 50% of us are on anti-depressants. Almost all women who are being abused gain a lot of weight, for the same reasons I did.
That was 5 years ago. Now I have lost the weight, quit drinking, made new friends and have a good life. I take my meds, so I don't have problems with people, but I have constant physical problems. I went from being a CLA (high level Para-Legal Certif) to very variable reading comprehension, and ability to focus. I am still intelligent, though. So I do good with numbers and can write programs. I can't deal with much stress at all. I operate at pretty low % of what I once was.
Lucky me! I don't have to work. But, frankly, I would rather work full time and have my brain back.
I just wish people would think twice before they mistreat others.
And I wish people would not be so quick to judge others either. You NEVER know what anyone has been through -- or how they got to where they are now.
And just a note to all those Bully's who think they will always get away with it......... My boss did This time . I won't be back to that office ----- but he'll NEVER know how close he came. Any time, the person you least suspect, the one who seems the most harmless, could be the one he goes too far with....... | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:03:23 AM | I used to get beat up when I was a kid in school and at home even the neighbor kids hit me and teased me I was considered retarded because I'd cower afraid of everyone...The spinal menigitis didn't do my brain any favors but as I grew I got bigger and bigger then I discovered alcohol and since I'd be beaten all those years I really didn't feel pain all that much..I got into alot of fights drinking I really kicked some ass! But it became a problem in later years as my temper got bad I've had over 400 jobs in my lifetime many of them I quit before I hurt the boss one of them I told the boss I was going to chop him up and make stew out of him a couple I **** slapped..I hurt my neck and back a few years ago and that took care of the problem..I really hate people like that bulling others it's too bad we don't live in the same town because I'd have to show up there someday and see how my son was doing at work... | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:45:41 AM | nuttykitten,
My daughter was the victim to this kind of attack in the military. It ended in her being hospitalized with post traumatic stress syndrome. She is still in the military and struggling to put it all behind her 2 years later. The result was 2 officers lost stripes over it.
Do this person a favor and write down every thing you were privy to see and hear. Not things that others have told you. Make sure you state how it made YOU feel as an employee there. Give one copy to the big boss, one to human resources, one to yourself for the safe and naturally mail one to the targeted employee. However, be prepared to give official statements if it comes to it. It would be the biggest favor you could do for this person and for other employees who may become a target now that a new one is needed. There is no excuse for this type of behavior by anyone in the work place. Thank you for standing up for the guy! It IS the right thing to do.
Good Luck!
Arpeggia | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 12:09:54 PM |
Growing up my mother always told me that them having a disability was God's way of protecting them from the craziness in this world. I always try to keep that in mind when I meet someone that is not like me
i like that.....its a good way of thinking =)
it's too bad we don't live in the same town because I'd have to show up there someday and see how my son was doing at work...
lol, some pplz there could do with putting in their place...
it makes me mad, cs they all had humble beginnings,
why not give pplz a chance, and let them find their feet, and cofidence? | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 12:22:50 PM | tradurgurl, im glad you are so much happier now thanx for sharing =)
arpeggia, thanx for the advice, ill mention it to the other pplz that are willing to do something about this, good luck to your daughter, she is a brave girl that she stuck it out, and is still in the military. =) | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 12:30:40 PM | I was bullied by a senior in my last job (NHS) for a number of years. To cut a long story short I finally made a formal complaint, and presented HR with a huge journal of events. They questioned people. I was accused of being a malicious liar who's trying to cover up poor performance and was then disciplined.
Months go by, loads of grief from work. I quit. Signed on. And have been taking them to court for the last 6 months.
One of my witness' also left due to bullying, this witness told me she and the other witness' had been told what to write in their statements and were given specific keywords to use. And becuase of this my case looks very shaky.
Now I have an even better job, but that lab where I worked has become one of my customer accounts and have banned me from the lab. I dont care about this part. But anytime they need a quote or a price they call someone else in my company (fine ok) but then spend however long on the phone bad mouthing me!!
Im sick of it. I want my day in court, whether I win or lose. | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 1:06:59 PM | Thank you nuttykitten.
Motley Maiden, Good luck to you. My daughter is still dealing with rumors that surrounded the events that happened with her, at least in the civilian world you have legal recourse. I would be certain that your former co workers were questioned under oath as to what they were instructed or coached to write. Is it possible your present employer / co workers can take notes, annotate the phone conversations and mark the time/date and duration of the call so perhaps your attorney can get a copy of the phone records? I wish you the best of luck.
Arpeggia | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 1:53:43 PM | I think that's disgusting what they did - people like that have no place in management
There was a manager who liked to bully at my former job - she was dumb as a stump and didn't know how to do a lot of the procedures. Now she's working under the GM and I doubt if she has time to bully anymore. | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 2:03:20 PM | Personally, I think some people are a little too sensitive and can't take any criticism. I've heard many people in various offices whine and complain about how bad they are treated, how they aren't respected, etc.... which, I could go along with if said employees actually pulled their weight and performed their jobs.
They then choose to be bitter and even less productive and consistently blame others for the situation, rather than taking responsibility and making choices to *change* or in the very least, do some self reflection to see if they are part of the problem.
I'm not saying bullying doesn't happen, but I think far too often the people doing the complaining are more responsible for their plight than they want to believe. It's always *someone else's* fault... | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 2:19:17 PM | | thats called harassment & should not be tolerated at any time in the work place!.. these ppl most likely have set themselves up 2 be fired (& a lawsuit) once the boss comes back (wouldn`t look good on their resume when they go 2 apply 4 another job as 2 y they were fired.. now would it?!).. i just don`t understand y no one stood up 4 this poor guy.. manager or no manager.. y`all just sat there & did nothing 2 defend him!.. if a staff member where i work at did the same thing.. i would go up 2 them & let em have it!.. i don`t take 2 well 2 ppl harassing others esp. when they have a disability of some sort!.. | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 2:45:00 PM |
Personally, I think some people are a little too sensitive and can't take any criticism. I've heard many people in various offices whine and complain about how bad they are treated, how they aren't respected, etc.... which, I could go along with if said employees actually pulled their weight and performed their jobs.
They then choose to be bitter and even less productive and consistently blame others for the situation, rather than taking responsibility and making choices to *change* or in the very least, do some self reflection to see if they are part of the problem.
I'm not saying bullying doesn't happen, but I think far too often the people doing the complaining are more responsible for their plight than they want to believe. It's always *someone else's* fault...
but not in this case. he is a sensitive shy lad, an easy target, for them pplz that have "no life"
u can tell the diffrence.
we have pplz there allso, that dont want to work.
go out for fag-breaks, push all the breaks to the max, and clock-watch to the morning.
he wasnt like that.
infact he was being keept behind, doing jobs, when everyone else was gone.
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 2:49:57 PM |
thats called harassment & should not be tolerated at any time in the work place!.. these ppl most likely have set themselves up 2 be fired (& a lawsuit) once the boss comes back (wouldn`t look good on their resume when they go 2 apply 4 another job as 2 y they were fired.. now would it?!).. i just don`t understand y no one stood up 4 this poor guy.. manager or no manager.. y`all just sat there & did nothing 2 defend him!.. if a staff member where i work at did the same thing.. i would go up 2 them & let em have it!.. i don`t take 2 well 2 ppl harassing others esp. when they have a disability of some sort!..
we have tried, we have really tried, us girls. but the buisness is run buy guys, and it comes across as if the women are tolerated but smiled at...
sounds silly i know.......
as i say...he came out of himself with the pplz that really tried with him.
plus i feel in a big company like that it is not what u know, its who, and how good u are at ass-licking...;o) | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:20:33 PM | | He'll show up at work one day and blow the ****ers away. As it should be. | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:59:47 PM | | Most people ignore it but it happens in a lot of businesses every day. Unfortunately, in a lot of states, the laws work against the employee, not for him/her. The best thing to do is "shotgun" an updated resume all over town and bide one's time. Its better than just quitting. Never give them the satisfaction. | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:10:44 PM | | And that's the way it always ends up I had the cops called on me from a former employer ripped off the boss and I got blamed at first then acouple years later he got caught..But they were staking the place out right after I got let go and I really did want to kick the shit outta him and would have...He wasn't worth anymore than a good asskicking though..but I snapped in school acouple times put a plate in a guys head and fractured another kids skull we were all the same age I just got sick of being beat up all the ****in time..I don't think it should be that way because something ought to be done but the only thing that's done is the bullies themselves squel off to the law compounding the resentment till finally one day the bullied walks in and opens fire usually shooting all the wrong people...One fella says were all whineing and ****ing believe me if I was to get ahold of a couple of old bullies and squeezed acouple limbs till they snapped the cops would be comming for me... | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:18:11 PM |
And that's the way it always ends up I had the cops called on me from a former employer ripped off the boss and I got blamed at first then acouple years later he got caught..But they were staking the place out right after I got let go and I really did want to kick the shit outta him and would have...He wasn't worth anymore than a good asskicking though..but I snapped in school acouple times put a plate in a guys head and fractured another kids skull we were all the same age I just got sick of being beat up all the ****in time..I don't think it should be that way because something ought to be done but the only thing that's done is the bullies themselves squel off to the law compounding the resentment till finally one day the bullied walks in and opens fire usually shooting all the wrong people...One fella says were all whineing and ****ing believe me if I was to get ahold of a couple of old bullies and squeezed acouple limbs till they snapped the cops would be comming for me...
Again, I think some of the people accusing others of being at fault need to look within themselves. Sometimes it's not someone else's fault. | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:31:23 PM | | I looked within myself studied myself gone to therapy blamed myself etc. etc. etc. The ****ers had it comming if they would have left me alone nothing would have happened and that child molester that tried to bang me in the rear he would be alive today...Then you get people that just want to rile you up watch you snap so they could get their little rocks off you'ld like that fella wouldn't you? Your not worth it. | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:42:23 PM | If someone is dishonest and not well liked then it's always their fault
Getting on people when no one else does is just being a pain in the ass
I had a manager like that and they got rid of her
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:30:28 AM | I went after a bully at work once. a server and i were having a friendly conversation, he buts in and yells at my friend that no servers are allowed in the kitchen despite the fact that servers were always allowed in the back, he was just throwing his weight around because not many people respected him because he's a thug. I yelled at him and we got into a verbal match that almost became physical. Seeing that he was a chef and i was a lowly prep cook i knew from that point on it would be nothing but tension between us so i quite on the spot.
Despite being jobless for two months i felt good standing up for my friend and showing a bully where to go and how to get there. He was fired a few months after that and i heard just recently he was fired form a prestigous 5 star hotel for excatly the same thing: being a bully. | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:27:04 PM | | Bullying has NO place anywhere, whether at home, school or work. I would love to string up the guys who picked on the worker with disabilities. That is so disgusting! People with handicaps are human just like anyone else, and they have feelings too. My favorite uncle happens to be blind. I can't stand bullies and would do what I could to stand up against such (unprintables). My honor is more important than a job--my job can be replaced, but my integrity cannot be, so I find a way to stand up against bullies. | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/27/2008 12:53:04 AM | When I was young I worked at a place where the owners picked on me.
I found another job and gave my notice. I pissed them off leaving, and I should have done something about them, but I didn't.
I heard one owner got arrested for attacking an employee on his way home. That place got closed down a year later.
But I still should have done something about them before leaving. | |
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| Bullying at Work
Posted: 6/28/2008 12:27:09 PM | The worse kind of bullies at work is the silent bullies. They kiss butt to the lead people and then when no one is looking go tattle tale on everyone and telling the boss missleading information thats not true. These silent bullies are certainly the most deadly at costing someone their jobs or possibly getting passed up for a much needed raise.
Most of these silent bullies tattle out of jealousy and bitterness and then the next day smile to your face as if they act like your best friend. | |
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