| now he is telling her that he will never find another girl like her
Posted: 6/26/2008 5:02:30 PM | A few nights ago my best friend saw a guy that she dated a few years ago (we will call him chris) they ended up hanging out all night she told me that the feelings she had for him are still there and that he said the same and now she is questioning her current relationship which is serious. chris and my bff stoped dating because she went back to an x boyfriend. last year when she told chris that she could not see him anymore he told her that he was in love with her but she still dumped him but they stayed friends. after her relationship with her X ended for a second time she droped hints to chris that she wanted to give a relationship a try but the impression she got was that thats not what he wanted.
but now he is telling her that he will never find another girl like her and he wants her to move back to california (she lives in nevada now) so they can have a relationship .she asked me for my advise and i really dont know what to say to her so thats why im here any imput would be great | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 5:08:41 PM | | I. am. so. confused. | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 5:09:01 PM |
that the feelings she had for him are still there and that he said the same and now she is questioning her current relationship which is serious. Obviously not so serious or you wouldn't be asking this question.
People in serious relationships don't question it. | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 5:09:35 PM | | How old are these people because this all sounds like a whole lot of immature coupling and re-coupling and oh I think I love you after all. I'm not trying to be rude, it's just all very high school-ish. Did I understand that right, she spent the night with her ex but is in a serious relationship with another man? I think she's way too young to be in any kind of committed relationship yet, she sounds like she's still feeling her way around the whole dating thing. | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 5:11:09 PM | | no she did not spend the night they hung out for a few hours they did not do the dirty but she did say they kissed | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 5:14:01 PM | this kind of thing is too much drama for me....
I dont like it, it sounds crazy and I would want no part of it.
You may someday meet a guy like me and one day he will
suddenly disappear...
stuff like this could be why. | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 5:16:07 PM | | I feel really sorry for the guy that THINKS he's in a "serious" relationship with your friend. | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 5:16:39 PM | If she's questioning her current relationship then it can't be that "serious " ...
...that's my imput.
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Posted: 6/26/2008 5:19:40 PM | as this thread will probably be deleted, i'll write this quick. tell chris (if you can) to stay far away from this girl. she will just drop him at her next whim....as she has proven she does....equally proving she is just using him.
her feelings are not authentic nor considerate and it will break his heart.
he must protect himself and not let her into his life any more (imo).
and then he must let go and be grateful she is far away.
i am sorry some women seem to be so shameless in their behavior and how they use others they claim to care about.
by the way, just read your post again. you say this is your best friend? oh no. i would look for a new best friend, and be careful if you think her behavior is ok and acceptable. | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 5:19:46 PM |
A few nights ago my best friend saw a guy that she dated a few years ago (we will call him chris) they ended up hanging out all night she told me that the feelings she had for him are still there and that he said the same and now she is questioning her current relationship which is serious
So was it all night or just a few hours? I didn't say they had sex but I guess they made out which is sexual in natural. She really needs to be single and date, you don't give her age but she's obviously very young, at least emotionally. And she should be out dating and having fun and seeing who she likes and what she might want in the future, what she's doing wrong is cheating and trying to be in relationships she's not ready for.
"...did not do the dirty...", that makes sex sound so gross. | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 5:20:08 PM |
I. am. so. confused.
I second that one. | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 5:21:05 PM | ~tilts head~ Questioning her current relationship which is serious?
Are you serious? ~tilts head the other way~
It doesn't sound to me as if her current relationship is serious. Maybe her current boyfriend THINKS it is but obviously not to your friend.
If you are serious about someone then you don't want to be with someone else AND you don't "question" it.
S'ok, let's say now, her "current relationship" is not a serious one. MeThinks that's one obstacle outta the way....................................~wanders off thinking WTH?~ | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 6:21:28 PM | I will disagree w/ the other posters, b/c I define seriousness of a relationship on what you're doing, not what you're thinking. If you're risking an STD, then you're serious. Or you damn well should be :)
But we all agree, your friend is flaky. If she ever hears about polyamoury, she'll claim she's a member. She's not looking for love, she's looking for what love does to her. If Chris wants her to move, he's probably like her--and unfortunately for the both of them, they are a great match.
When KingArthur asked Merlin about sleeping w/ another man's wife, Merlin said, "you do not seek advice, you seek permission." I don't think your friend wants advice, she has her mind made up and just seeks a roadmap.
Give her the advice you know to be true, or claim ignorance, it may not matter if she's made up her mind to follow after whatever makes her feel most loved....she may just jerk Chris around until he ultimatums and leaves...but he makes his own bed, since he's already experienced her ways. | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 6:26:02 PM |
If she's questioning her current relationship then it can't be that "serious " ...
Agreed. Serious means you can't even picture yourself with someone else, you only want that one person who takes your breath away and loves you unconditionally. Kissing another guy means she is not serious and should dump the poor bf before he gets hurt even more.
...that's my imput.
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Posted: 6/26/2008 6:26:57 PM | | Seems a pattern she has - cheating on partners and going back to ex partners. She should learn to be single and not need to use men she does not much care for. | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 6:29:15 PM | | clasact, just had to say - you literally have me sitting here at the computer laughing outloud at your post! Good observations though, echoing what others have said about this gal's (lack of) maturity and (lack of) commitment to "serious relationships." | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 7:00:04 PM | | Maybe you should tell her if she really cares about the man to let him go. She seems incapable of making a decision and sticking to it. She was in a relationship with him and dumped him for an X, then she was wanted a relationship but was too chicken shit to go for it. Now she is in a serious relationship and neither of these guys deserves this chick. | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 7:12:27 PM | ^^^^^
You always tell it like it is! 
Alright, how many of you think that the "bff" talked about by the OP is the OP herself?
From the original post: "he wants her to move back to california (she lives in nevada now) so they can have a relationship"
From the OP's profile: "i moved to california in oct 2003 and then moved to vegas to attend school to be a nurse oct of 2007" | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 7:18:58 PM | If you need to get a pen and paper and chart it out...which ex is which ex, who will potentially be the next...I won't even get to serious...my pen's already out of ink.
I'd put it in Excel...almost at expert level...I don't think a pivot table would handle it, though. I may try, I've always wondered if Excel was programmed to flip someone off. It'd be a good belly laugh to see a program shoot be the proverbial bird. 
If it's that complicated that you have to assign the people involved "A", "B" and "C"...sheesh may as well call Springer and get a trip outta the mess. | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 7:25:48 PM | | ^^^I wonder if a Power Point presentation would do a better job? | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 7:27:38 PM | feelings she had for him are still there and that he said the same and now she is questioning her current relationship which is serious?
let me guess she's involved with a new guy but still love the other is that right?
iam confused here it sounds as a jerry spring show lol | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 7:31:06 PM | "I wonder if a Power Point presentation do a better job? " Power point...(palms sweating...ehhh) brings back memories of a MIS grad school class...had to do a Power Point presentation for our "paper". Fortunately, I had a resident teen...she tutored me through it. I DID do it all myself...but yeah...presentation wise...much better product to use. Hmm...actually, naw...need animation...nix that. When the high point is an appearance on Springer....that's a wrap!! 
By contrast...dang my life's so much simpler. On purpose, the few times and the rare people I MAY discuss something in a relationship, there's only two people involved in the story...me and him. Simple is not synonymous for boring, then again I don't read the Enquirer either. | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 7:43:07 PM | | Hmmm bucsgirl, if you don't know how to get animation into your PowerPoint presentation, you're obviously still a novice! Anything from simple animated objects, to animated gif pictures, to embedded full videos! (Long-time sales/marketing guy here!) | |
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Posted: 6/26/2008 7:56:23 PM | My kids have a really irritating little action figure that repeats a couple of phrases when you push down on it's squishy brain .... this is relevant I promise ....!
One of the phrases is " save your drama for your mama " and when I tried to decipher this OP it immediately popped into my head !! Way too much drama here.
Don't give this friend any advice. Listen to her if you have to ( friends endure all kinds of things!) but don't go down with this sinking ship.
She will figure it out all on her own, believe it or not.
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Posted: 6/26/2008 8:04:05 PM | I think I'm glad I'm old and confused...........see I know your trying to confuse me....but I'm too confused to be any more confused than I already am. SERIOUSLY
OP if you are really a good friend, you will tell this girl to get out of ALL relationships till she grows up.......................... | |
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