| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:20:06 PM | | So I dont touch myself. With my last ex boyfriend I would in front of him and we would have phone sex and I would do it then. I never got off in front of him or on the phone. Recently this guy I have been talking to for a while asked me about it and I told him I didnt. He said it scared him??? What the heck does that mean? I was married for 10 years (SO Hello) and had a boyfriend the last 1 1/2 do why would I need to. Well its been a while sexually (since April) I still dont have the urge. I guess I just would rather play while I am with someon then by myself. Is that normal??? | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:22:50 PM | Whatever works for you, Arbogast.....
Everyone is different and that is what makes the world a beautiful place. I've known other men and women that do not enjoy masturbation.... to each their own.
As for the guy who said it scared him.... people are often intimidated by that which they do not understand. He probably has just never heard of anyone being like this.
Personally, I can barely get through a day without it!!
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:38:07 PM | OP,
The guy you were talking to said that because he may have thought you were too sexually uptight to masturbate, and may not have realized this statement would cause you to feel insecure. It sounds to me as if his statement was actually a smokescreen because he was probably scared if you don't masturbate regularly you could be too much for him to handle. Two months is a long time to go without. Think about the level of fear he could be faced with..... you could tie him up against his will and ravish him repeatedly to the point of no return. You should call him up immediately if not sooner, then confront his fears in person while spinning a pair of leopard handcuffs around your index finger.
Best wishes ~ | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:52:05 PM | I play with my self soooo much,that since I was forteen my life has been one very long drawn out orgasm ...when I was younger I figured most woman don't masturbate,butt apprently alot do...I have been with woman who do naught and woman who do... | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:52:26 PM |
..... you could tie him up against his will and ravish him repeatedly to the point of no return. You should call him up immediately if not sooner, then confront his fears in person while spinning a pair of leopard handcuffs around your index finger.
I absolutely 100 percent agree with this suggestion !
Not only is it the answer to the OPs question
( i forget what that was) , but i feel it would solve
90% of the problems people bring to the Forums.
Afraid you are to much of a Nice Guy ?
Go for the cuffs !
Have a partner with nagging post nasal drip ?
Tie ‘em up ! After and hour or two you’ll forget all about it.
Your partner forgot your birthday ?
Ravish them with cake icing !
There are very few Domestic Discussions that wouldn’t
go a little smoother if you add in a little kink, yes ? | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:16:49 PM | I am not a fan of the cold metal ones. The kinky pinky ones are really comfortable and they won't set off the metal detectors at the airport.
Esad - you are brilliant. People need to get over themselves and what they believe our stereotypical society expects of them and break out the damn cuffs. Marriage counseling? NAH. Cuffs help people to communicate. Everyone should at least consider cuffing and / or being cuffed regularly because playtime with cuffs adds a little spring to your step, unless of course you are being cuffed by a law enforcement agent who you are not dating or married to. Then cuffing would be bad.
My new bumper sticker -
"All you need are cuffs. Cuffs are all you need." | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:18:05 PM | I quit smoking. I quit drinking. I don't do drugs. I've been single for a couple of years now. Playing with myself is all that I have left. I'd go crazy if I couldn't fire off a couple of knuckle children after a long day!!! | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:51:26 PM | | The only thing that scares me more than a woman who doesn't masturbate is one who does. But, oddly enough, if she scared me by not doing it, she could calm me down by doing it. I wish I knew a Zen master I could ask why. | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:11:52 PM | Opie it's not a bad thing. Whatever floats ur boat.
BUt...I will say that giving a guy a show is often quite different (in my opinion) than getting yourself off. When you get yourself off, you can fantasize in your head about whatever you want, use toys, and use them where they do the trick. I had a bf once years ago who liked to watch me touch me and it was nothing more than a show to make him happy. But by myself...whoooeeee...me and my toy are best friends. LOL
Of course, the other half of the equation is your libido. If you are craving sex, then masturbation is a good option when you aren't in a relationships - the safest sex you'll find. But if you aren't hornier than a horned toad, don't worry about it.
I think he was scared it meant you wouldn't have a sex drive or would be "repressed"...that's my uneducated guess.
Kaylie | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/27/2008 4:29:39 AM | I think self exploration is a good thing and for some a must! The discovery of what ones body can do and how it functions - is something everyone should know about themselves! How can you really know for sure what and how things are happening - if you don' take a little time for yourself! IMO exploring with someone else and exloring on your own - often brings different results - sometimes surprising ones! So go ahead and diddle I say!  | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/27/2008 5:03:02 AM |
As for the guy who said it scared him.... people are often intimidated by that which they do not understand. He probably has just never heard of anyone being like this.
To be honest, for me, I would likely not be interested in dating a women who isn't at least a casual diddler. In my experience, the women who tend to be uptight or not-interested in pleasuring themselves aren't really in tune with their bodies or their sexuality. I'm not saying they can't enjoy a sex life.. but I just feel that it's not quite as good as it can/should be.
I've dated women on both sides of the fence -- the ones who tend to enjoy masturbation and are open about it and those who weren't. The best sex was always with the ones who got themselves off regularly. I dated one women who was diddling twice a day on her own (we used to joke about the water consumption from the shower head) and we still had a very active sex life and every session involved at least 3 or 4 orgasms for her. She just knew exactly how to get what she wants. | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:00:59 AM | When in an affectionate relationship....I find that there's No Need...!!
But, since I've been Widowed for nearly 10 years, now....
If it weren't for my typing skills, my Frisbee and my Golf game...
I'd have no use for my Left Hand...At ALL..!!!
. .. .. .. ...
So....I'll have to take sides with 'L-L'...!!!
..*Trade*..?? | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:13:51 AM |
He said it scared him??? What the heck does that mean?
It means that the guy is a wienie. Being scared of something that someone else doesn't do is a sure sign that he isn't worth worrying about. What kind of guy asks a girl about her masturbation habits anyway? He is not a gentleman.
I just would rather play while I am with someon then by myself. Is that normal?
It sounds pretty normal to me. Having a woman who prefers a man (especially if it's me) to a vibrator or her own finger scores points in my book every time. | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:33:45 AM | | Yea i dont blame him it would scare the hell out of me too...ever herd the term if you dont use it you loose it ...me thinks there is something to that ....i have had relationships before with women that either did not masturbate or lied about it and said they didnt ...either way it shows a low sex drive or sexual hangups that i would advise avoiding in a relationship...the women in my life who said they did not touch themselves varied in our sex life ...one in particular one provided me with enough sex but something was lacking she was just never in need and i felt like i was not pleasing her ....others either did not want sex enough for my likeing or was hung up in some way ....my question is why would you not pleasure your self | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/27/2008 8:10:09 AM | | It wouldn't necessarily scare me, but I guess I would prefer a woman who masturbates, since it is a turn on for me. Not just to WATCH a woman, but just the knowledge that she knows how to make herself feel good, freely indulge in her fantasies, and desire sexual pleasure even when I am not with her..it's a huge turn on to me. But to each one's own, and if you don't masturbate, OP, you are saving money by not buying as many batteries. | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/27/2008 8:15:20 AM | I'm with LEANNE. Self awareness is essential especially when dealing with guys who may not have a clue.
You said you were married for 10 years (HULLO?) but that, sadly, doesn't mean a thing. There has to be a dozen threads in here by women describing their love lives over the last 10 - 15 - 30 YEARS and never had an orgasm.
If a woman told me she doesn't - didn't - hasn't - won't I, too would be worried - scared - apprehensive.
Here's why. The body needs sexual stimulation to be sexually stimulated. That sounds stupid but sexual stimulation triggers all kinds of hormones and enzymes and promotes further activity. Shut that down and those hormones can literally turn off for some people. Like anything else in the bod - use it or lose it. A sexually fine tuned bod WILL react much better than one that has been on blocks for the winter. You don't just turn the key and expect to drive off. It CAN happen but it's doubtful. You'd need a master mechanic at this point ... not just a oil change and lube job but new sparks and a full tranny (NO not that) overhaul.
A woman who sez she "doesn't - didn't - hasn't - won't " tells me that you have some mental hangups about being sexually aroused by yourself. That in turn tells me that married or not I'm guessing your level sexual gratification during those 10 years (HULLO?) of sex was lacking. How often did it happen? How often did you orgasm? Did you EVER initiate sex or were you simply fulfilling your "obligation" as a good wife?
If you're having a GOOD time (in a relationship) most will continue even if their partner is missing. Another is the likelihood that without any fun by yourself it shows you have a naturally LOW sex drive. Any guy hearing this would see red flags. Who wants to get into a relationship with a person who seems to exhibit so little interest? WHAT would give anybody the impression that once you had a partner things would normalize and you'd go back to being your horny li'll self. Not likely.
These posts are full of people who are open because of relative anonymity and that often exposes the bad and the good (and the LIES). Everybody IS different. Unless you want to start doing your "sexual push-ups" so to speak you're best to look for a guy with little or no sex drive himself. IMHO. | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/27/2008 8:27:43 AM | Wow.....You're not even divorced yet and you've had 'another' relationship for the last 1 1/2 yrs that just ended in April (2 months ago). If I was a man......that'd be enough to make me run for the hills! Obviously you had the relationship WHILE married which essentially means you were cheating on your husband. Ugh!
But OT, if you're grieving for your broken relationship & broken marriage, you may not feel the urge because your emotions are tied up elsewhere. Don't know how I did it but I went over 3 yrs w/out sex after the loss of my husband and it took probably a good year before I even felt like masturbating. Once the hormones woke up again though, they haven't shut the hell up!
The guy might find it strange because he may assume you have some sort of sexual hangups. Most guys are wired different. Sex usually isn't tied to emotions for them and they'd probably have no problem resuming their 'rubbing' once a break up occurs.
HR  | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:05:12 AM | If a woman told me she doesn't - didn't - hasn't - won't I, too would be worried - scared - apprehensive.
A woman who sez she "doesn't - didn't - hasn't - won't " tells me that you have some mental hangups about being sexually aroused by yourself. That in turn tells me that married or not I'm guessing your level sexual gratification during those 10 years (HULLO?) of sex was lacking. How often did it happen? How often did you orgasm? Did you EVER initiate sex or were you simply fulfilling your "obligation" as a good wife?
Well i personally disagree with this statement. As has been pointed out, everyone has their ways and because it is different from yours, they are automatically a freak or somehow "broken"? Give me a break.
Here's why. The body needs sexual stimulation to be sexually stimulated. That sounds stupid but sexual stimulation triggers all kinds of hormones and enzymes and promotes further activity. Shut that down and those hormones can literally turn off for some people. Like anything else in the bod - use it or lose it. A sexually fine tuned bod WILL react much better than one that has been on blocks for the winter. You don't just turn the key and expect to drive off. It CAN happen but it's doubtful. You'd need a master mechanic at this point ... not just a oil change and lube job but new sparks and a full tranny (NO not that) overhaul.
Another pretty big leap of speculation here again. Perhaps for you sex is simply a mechanical thing, but to many other people it is just as much a mental state as a physical state, so the fact that they have been "up on blocks" and are now somehow needing major work is pretty much specualtion on your part.
Just because some people see masturbation as a way to "let off steam" and proclaiming themselves sexually healthy, why is it if someone doesnt see sex as a way to "let off steam" but as a way to express their emotional and physical attraction to someone they love, so to these people masturbation doesnt have the same effect for them, its seen as "unhealthy" or "sexually repressed".
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:39:51 PM | So I dont touch myself. With my last ex boyfriend I would in front of him and we would have phone sex and I would do it then. I never got off in front of him or on the phone. Recently this guy I have been talking to for a while asked me about it and I told him I didnt. He said it scared him??? What the heck does that mean? I
It could mean that he thinks it's an indication that you are passive in bed. That's would I tend to think although it wouldn't ``scare me.'' That's a bit melodramatic. I'm not sure about most guys, but in my experience, women tend not to take the initiative and are not nearly aggressive enough, so your lack of interest in self-abuse might be seen as an indcation that you aren't ever in the mood unless your partner is going to get things started, including you.
I don't think the fact that you were married for 10 years is too relevant. I've had sevveral line in relationships lasting from 1-6 years and I've noticed that sex can get boring with a woman who only thinks about sex when she's having sex. The best sexual relationships were always with women who just needed to satisfy themselves sometimes, since they were most likely to initiate sex when I wasn't in the mood initially.
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| GRIZZ .... a bad thing???
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:26:00 PM | "" Well i personally disagree with this statement.""
MOST of what we write in here IS (obviously) speculation based on either a VERY limited amount of info put forward by the OP or a very limited amount of knowledge put forward by the poster. Often it's BOTH.
Did you read a post from me somewhere where I said I was perfect? Just in case you haven't read any other posts and I guess you haven't, MOST (all but 2-3?) posts seem ALSO to speculate that SHE may have a problem based on how she described her predicament ... more speculation apparently.
Go get'em ... | |
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| If you dont play with yourself is that a bad thing???
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:31:17 PM | | my bf tells me that when he gets horny and i'm not with him...he'd rather wait to be with me than wank himself ...but given if this has only been for a wk or something. any longer than that..i'm sure he'd help himself. | |
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