| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:13:43 AM | So, I go to a concert with a buddy. We run into a great girl friend and her friends. We enjoy the show, drinks, dancing. Most leave except our friend and one other lady who decides at the last minute to hang with us 3. We chat, dance, flirt, slight touching, etc. throughout the night.
My girl friend notices and mentions that lady X is really into me. I get a bit of that too from our conversations and such. We decide to call it a night. On our way to the car I ask her for her number to continue our introduction. She responds that "It's a bad time".
1) What in the world is a bad time?
2) Why stick around if you know it's a bad time, go home earlier with the other nice folks?
3) Do women flirt just to confirm they are attractive? | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:26:45 AM | | You respond by saying, "I understand"...even if you haven't a clue try to look sympathetic and offer to call in a week, but persist and get the number anyway, "because you are concerned and are willing to be a friend and check how she is doing". A myriad of things can be a bad time, if she stayed the possibility is that she didn't want to go home - for again a variety of reasons. Respect that she may not want to elaborate, she will be warmed that you are not pressuring her "at a bad time". If you get the line again, it is your opportunity to show your knight in shining armour colours without necessarily offering to get embroiled in drama. | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:30:06 AM | This isn't a good time for me......lol. Yet, I'm still up in the wee hours answering this question. Well, I think the reason she hung out with you till the end of the evening....was because she was having a great time. That should stroke your ego a little bit. :) Woman love to fill desired as do men. She found you attractive and fun. So, she hung out. Is that a crime? Sometimes clean fun ends after last call. "You" wanted to take it further. Obviously......reality outside of the club for her....... for what ever reason didn't involve you. Don't take it personal. Bad time.....is what it is. A bad time to consider what your asking without going into details. We can think of a million reasons why she didn't want to comply.....but who wants to spend the time? Good luck in your fishing. | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:43:40 AM |
You respond by saying, "I understand"...even if you haven't a clue try to look sympathetic and offer to call in a week, but persist and get the number anyway, "because you are concerned and are willing to be a friend and check how she is doing". A myriad of things can be a bad time, if she stayed the possibility is that she didn't want to go home - for again a variety of reasons. Respect that she may not want to elaborate, she will be warmed that you are not pressuring her "at a bad time". If you get the line again, it is your opportunity to show your knight in shining armour colours without necessarily offering to get embroiled in drama.
^^^^^^^^^That response was very insightful and should help you with your question.
She may not have wanted to elaborate standing around with a group, but if you follow quicksilvers advice and follow up with her, she may tell you what is going on.
Also, and maybe this is just me, but sometimes I find myself in a relationship that is not yet defined, either because it is just starting or just ending. It is not a good time for me cause I am just trying to sort out the details of what is going on. | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:58:50 AM | Some women just like to flirt. I have a friend like that, and she inadvertently always gets men interested even when she has a bf. Maybe it's on purpose, I don't know. It's her nature. some women need validation of their attractiveness, some just like the attention of a man.
Bad time may mean she's attached. Or going through some drama with another man. Or getting over another man.
Or her way of saying, really i'm not interested. Or maybe she wants to see if you'll proceed to ''chase'' her. | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:36:50 AM |
Some women just like to flirt. I have a friend like that, and she inadvertently always gets men interested even when she has a bf. Maybe it's on purpose, I don't know. It's her nature. some women need validation of their attractiveness, some just like the attention of a man.
Bad time may mean she's attached. Or going through some drama with another man. Or getting over another man.
Or her way of saying, really i'm not interested. Or maybe she wants to see if you'll proceed to ''chase'' her.
This entire post is proof positive why women are so darn confusing, haha.  | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:09:23 AM | | You didn't do enough to spark attraction in her. She was testing you all night and at some point(s) you blew it by being too nice, supplicating, not challenging, or otherwise low-status. (e.g., "asking" for the number -- real men TAKE numbers that are forcibly shoved into their hands because they ignite attraction in women). | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:18:25 AM |
You didn't do enough to spark attraction in her. She was testing you all night and at some point(s) you blew it by being too nice, supplicating, not challenging, or otherwise low-status. (e.g., "asking" for the number -- real men TAKE numbers that are forcibly shoved into their hands because they ignite attraction in women).
You're an idiot. | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:55:18 AM | She may well have been interested, but as the night progressed she changed her mind. It may have been because you didn't do enough attracting, came off as too eager, and the more she talked with you, she got turned off. "This is a bad time" is just a girl's way of saying no.
If she was really into you, and had other issues going on, she would have at least said something like "I'm going through something right now, but why don't you give me your number -- I'd love to stay in touch with you!" But you didn't hear that, did you? She was perfectly content to never see you again. | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/28/2008 5:42:39 PM | gotta agree with my man superlizard1969 and a few other guys in this thread who refused to bullsh*t you. At the end of the night, for whatever reason, she just wasn't interested in you dude. "Not a good time" is just a cowardly euphemism for "Sorry, but I don't want to f*ck you." Just move on bro. Happy Fishing.  | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:38:06 PM | 3) Do women flirt just to confirm they are attractive?
Yes they do. Not all of them but just the ones who can't live without that confirmation that they've still 'got it'.
I've got a couple of stories like that. She flirts with you all night and then you ask her for her number or a date and then..........oh well. At least you tried! | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/28/2008 8:39:23 PM | Maybe she didn't want to get involved in a love triangle between you, her, and this "great girl friend" of yours. Maybe this "My girl friend" noticed and mentioned a thing or two about you to her as well.
I am too old for so and so likes you, do you like him? Oh, he's just a friend, and I know his type. Passing notes, giggles, and nudges, etc...geezyo and club girl sitting in a tree...
That would be enough reminiscing about junior high school for me even if I had been interested. It's much nicer than saying give me a call when you grow up. | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:31:12 PM | Hmmmm, sounds to me like something someone would say when they aren't actually free/single to give out the number, but maybe I'm just skeptical. I wouldn't lose too much sleep OP ~ if this gal is a friend of your friend, she'll find a way to get ahold of you if she wishes to, otherwise, I'd say she was just having a good time (in her own way.) JMO  | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:39:52 PM | Dude...don't even waste your time. You were nice to her, she was diggin' you, all your friends could see it, then when you asked for the number, she weasels out.
She's a FLAKE. Stay away from her, even if your friend calls and says this chick asked about you. She is more trouble than she's worth, and will only give you vague answers. Even if she rolls in the hay she will vanish and be unreachable because it's always "a bad time" or "I was busy", or "I have to sort stuff out", or "I need space" or 100 other euphemisms to avoid telling you that you're being played.
You had fun, store it in memory, go find a woman with her head on straight. | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:55:38 PM | Most likely she was not as intrested in you as she came off to be maybe she was giving you mixed signals as sometimes we all do but i kind of know what you feeling, in it now and you'll just have to be strong enough and get to the thought "She is not worth any of the thoughts/wonderings"....Theres better out there for you so good luck.
Hope things goes well. | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:29:28 PM | | Agree with WackMC..... Good advice take that and go find somebody who is WORTH your time and is NOT about all the games and childish. | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/30/2008 9:29:05 PM | Girls love attention. You could have been Mr. Right Now. It's strange but girls always need to have validation from a guy to let her know she's attractive. It's a game for a lot of girls to see if they can get the guy to ask them out regardless if they'll say yes or no. It's cruel but the world is cruel.
To answer your questions:
1) Bad time means I'm not interested in you. If she was attracted to you, there is no such thing as a "bad time".
2) She was having fun. Don't flatter yourself to think that she stayed back soley because of you. It could have been many things.
3) Yes, women love to flirt. It's a skill we have to constantly perfect.
If a girl doesn't give you the same effort as you're giving then most likely she's not that into you. If I'm truly interested in a guy, I'll meet him half way. | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/30/2008 9:36:16 PM |
why do chicks speek in riddles?
Because when we don't, we get blasted for being too mean - it's sort of a catch 22. And yes, I know you were joking.
Guys, take the advice of the men who said anything but a clear cut show of interest is non-interest. | |
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| this isn't a good time for me....
Posted: 6/30/2008 9:43:43 PM |
Girls love attention. You could have been Mr. Right Now. It's strange but girls always need to have validation from a guy to let her know she's attractive. It's a game for a lot of girls to see if they can get the guy to ask them out regardless if they'll say yes or no. It's cruel but the world is cruel.
Lol.....that's a good one. | |
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