| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:13:26 AM | I am pretty sure I am not the only one who has had excuses for not meeting someone. I have a minor self image issue that can easily be overlooked by others but to me it is bothersome so I will make excuses not to meet someone off the site.
When you put aside all the obstacles of kids and work what is it that ultimately makes you put the brakes on and make excuses to decline a meeting?
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:30:12 AM | Interesting topic 
I've come across a few guys that put off meeting, but want you to talk to them online every night, for months! I'm sure there are reasons for it, but they don't say why??? It's baffling.
Sure, I get the nervous thing, I get nervous and a bit anxious meeting someone for the first time, but isn't that why we're here ~ to MEET people?? | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:30:19 AM | | I think it is maybe that online dating or dating in general, at least in the beginning stages, is akin to being a Reality TV show contestant. After a bit of it -- one has to ask themselves what exactly am I in this for: fun (then this stuff works) friendship (a good chance of happening) long term ( success chances are greatly narrowed down and need to weed through the players looms at large). After a while there has to be something that is just plain irresistable about the person to put yourself back into that environment. The see saw of possible match and happiness counter balanced with drama of the other (even yourself) hitting the next button. The seas are calmer left alone .......... | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:31:02 AM | | My excuse for not meeting someone is that they have an excuse for not meeting me. Evidently I would have to be the last man on Earth, and even then. To answer the door there has to be a knock on the door. And to be invited in takes the door being opened. As the last man on earth there will be plenty of open doors and I think also an abundance of knockers. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:32:06 AM | Lack of interest in the way "meeting/dating" has evolved, is the main reason for me. I have no interest in the proverbial meet-greet, nor do I wish to play the silly multi-meet game. Hence, dateless. I'm OK with that.  | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:44:07 AM | If a woman is from the Cedar Rapids area or they are coming to the area nothing with the exception of time keeps me from actually meeting. I'm always open for a casual iced tea. No dinner no movie no hot tubing simply an iced tea and a little conversation to begin with. You never know who you'll click with if you don't meet.
I've met women that from their pictures or profile I would generally never meet. What I have learned is pictures as well as profiles simply may not do them justice. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:46:58 AM | In one word? Boredom.
Edit @ below: No but in my case, I'm bored BEFORE even wanting to meet anyone, no matter if the email exchange was interesting or not.
I just lose interest and I get bored.
And I hate the dating scene to begin with - I don't do restaurants or movies and I'm not one for sitting pretty while discussing the weather.
So where does that leave me??
Okay so maybe it's not boredom I suffer from after all......perhaps it's apathy.
Whatever.
*shrugs*
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:48:42 AM | | I am talking about when you have already chatted and really do like the person. You have decided between the two of you that you will meet. I can could up with some DOOZIES for if I don't like you, but I am also very honest about that. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:52:15 AM |
what is it that ultimately makes you put the brakes on and make excuses to decline a meeting?
I would say that most people are not meant for most people, so unless there is a mutual connection, it is not going to happen.
Yep, I am still waiting on that mutual connection, but am not disappointed that it hasn’t happened. If I did decide to meet for a date, then I would not pass on it without actually meeting. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 12:24:42 PM | I like this topic - because I've been wondering about this myself... We go on a website to meet someone and when they ask to meet, it's either too cold out, rainy, your tired, a good TV program is on.... Why do we do it?? I dunno... | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 12:54:26 PM | | Well if a guy does not make an effort to get to know me or to keep in touch online, he will hardly do it offline.If you don't matter online and no effort is made, it does not bode well.So I would be reluctant to get involved with such a person. Its just common sense.If a guy is overly pushy or aggressive or has insulted me, its a no go also.I,ll be friendly but wont meet someone who thinks its was ok to insult me.I have met a few off here and have made some good friends, no romance sadly. But , if I met a nice chilled , funny man, I,m in there.Personality is everything, looks, height don't matter a nice moderately attentive guy who has a kind disposition is fine. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:25:57 PM | | I have passed a few times on meeting people here. The number one reason for me is I like to do the whole "get to know you" by chatting here for a while, with some emails. If all is cool then a phone call to talk and see how things are. I prefer to ask someone out either in person or on the phone, although I have set up a date online before and it worked fine. Its kind of a turn off for me that I email someone once and they tell me to call them, attaching a phone #. When I say I'd rather write a few times, I am answered with silence. Naw, don't need that, bad ju ju from the start. Off course the fact i travel so much for work makes it extra work to meet someone. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 3:16:18 PM |
I like this topic - because I've been wondering about this myself... We go on a website to meet someone and when they ask to meet, it's either too cold out, rainy, your tired, a good TV program is on.... Why do we do it?? I dunno
That's what i'm wondering too..itt's really baffling..I mean we all want to meet people, yet we don't want to meet in person..as if you can "get to know" someoneby chatting on the phone or via email/IM..
personally I don't know what is stopping me..I just havent met anyone where there is mutual attraction or haven't met anyone that I'm compatible with..that's the only thing I can think of really.. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 3:17:14 PM | This is going to sound stupid coming from a man. But I've put on brakes when a few women started talking about sex.
I've put on brakes when I learned a woman was still married. Even though she says she is getting a divorce. One woman I meet two years ago still hasn't gotten that divorce. Now I don't always put on brakes over that. But think about it, Saying they want divorce and them doing it are two different things.
Other than that I'd never make an excuse. Fear of unknown is why most make up reasons not to take a chance. One should never be afraid of taking a chance, it could ruin your chance of something great.
This does not eliminate the idea of being cautious about things. So it never hurts to end something that doesn't seem 100% safe. Meeting strangers is still dangerous you know. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 3:18:54 PM | | I would have to say that they don't like what they see. I mean, a picture is an image of you, lets the person know kinda' what you look like, but to meet face to face scares me. I have some cosmetic issues. I know, a lot of guys say it's not what you look like on the outside, but i have met a guy face to face from another site a few years ago, and one of the first things out of his mouth was that" i didn't really look like my pic" whatever that meant. Needless to say, the rest of the date went sour. I don't know what he thought he saw in my pic, but it was obvious that i wasnt what he expected. Ever since then, I've been kina leery about meeting.. | |
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| Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 6/28/2008 3:19:20 PM |
The number one reason for me is I like to do the whole "get to know you" by chatting here for a while, with some emails.
Thats' the problem that a lot of people have..they feel like they can "get to know" you by just chatting on the phone or via email..why do you think that someoen people get along so well on the computer/phone but when they meet it's completely different and they dont like the person anymore? The point is this..we really can't "get to know" a person the right way unless we meet and interact in person..plain and simple.. | |
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