| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:11:03 PM | Why do you think your so special that you deserve the best of whats left out there and hold on to the expectation that you will find it when the majority of truely loyal family orientated people are married or settled down for the rest of there lives ? what is left is lots of people with baggage or some history that they have gone through.no one wants car boot but is quality seconds not good enough?
My point being that some make it plain that they are undateable due to there constant references in posts and profile that they will except nothing but whats on there extensive tick list.
what is a reasonable requirement and whats just wishfull and unobtainable thinking?
Are we not just too expectant?
Or should we adopt the attidude of no commitment and live a life of excepted singldom with occasional benifits?
This is not a protest its instigating a debate about our expectancy v the reality of what is available in reguards our hopes and what is available to us. | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:22:30 PM | Bear in mind that only something like 4% of the POF population are forumites. Wonder what % of UK POFers are forumites. Wonder what % of UK dont do internet dating stuff...
Wonder what % of eligible UK people - from any age group - put themselves up for analysis on this type of site, or just go out on a Thursday or Friday or Saturday night to meet others or to be judged by others. Sites like POF do sometimes make one feel inadequate. A couple of nights out chatting to like minded people can make you feel like a superhero......
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:41:47 PM | Im special, because they sent me to special school, complete with pyrex cutlery.  | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:01:09 PM | Msg 2, your post makes zero sense mate...
OT: if you are happy in your delusions..go for it!!
But I do think that promoting yourself as someone who is rigid and unbending is probably not very attractive - me...?
I am ultra-flexible and practically double jointed....that's what makes me special. | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:16:00 PM |
Msg 2, your post makes zero sense mate...
ok, I'll bow to your ultra flexibility and double jointedness and try to explain what I meant....
I was attempting to ask OP to look at numbers of:
people on a site such as POF
people on a site such as POF that might read this thread
people from the UK on a site such as POF
people on a site such as POF from the UK that might read this thread
to think about, as he said:
our expectancy v the reality of what is available in reguards our hopes and what is available to us.
My point was, or what I tried at this late hour to point out, was that his quest and question are directed at a comparatively small number of people....
Actually cheeze think you're right.... not making much sense to myself here..... Another time maybe... | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:29:45 PM | | Geordie, Special is as special does ...and sometimes things are just too special to go into detail regarding, but the woman who decided that I was special enough for her has yet to say or make me feel that I'm not. And to think that I thought myself to be so very normal... | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:33:09 PM | My thoughts are that if you are depending on pof or any other dating site alone to produce a perfect partner, then handful of anti-delusional pills may be in order!
Internet dating is an option, not a surefire way of guarranteeing a happy future with an of the shelf, chosen from the picture gallery bride, I think CheezyBreeze has it right by saying that rigid inflexibilty is not very attractive, it obviously limits your own selectability, life with a partner is about adapting to each others needs and wants, and "no this and that" is definately off-putting to any prospective date, lets face it, if you met someone on night out, you woul'nt immediatly start to tell them what you dont like, its a negative way to go on, everyone is special in some way, and when posting a profile, should accentuate the positive, ok with smoking and drinking as a no-no if you dont do it, but try to keep the negatives to a minimum, imagine passing up the perfect partner just because she likes Bon jovi, and you like Beyonce!
Then look up compromise in the dictionary, its somewhere between cant get a date, and crushed by rejection!
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:36:41 PM | ...@ msg 5... Ok fair enough, a relatively low number of poffers take the time out to post on here (wise people) but the few who do are still fairly representative of what is out there..
There are many of us who think alike on here and have a similar sense of humour ..I think - there is a connection there to an extent and yet...some of us try hard to be a little more extraordinary than needs be...
We're all the same underneath really and I think the OP has a point, from what I can garner from the topic at hand; that, yes we are all individuals and special in our own right but if you can think so highly of yourself what is impeding you from not seeing the same worth in another person - why put constraints on your expectations of people when ultimately you are looking for an opportunity to share, have common ground with others - why impose over the top silly rules on how you expect the perfect person to be - it's silly and time wasting.
Obviously, you have got to be mindful of sorting the wheat from the chaff ( that's a little thumbs up and acknowledgement to a fella who shares the same birthday as me ...hello LTH!!)and avoiding the maniacs but to be so prescriptive re your expectations of the type of person you desire to date...it just seems to me to be ridiculous.
Having said that though...I am pretty sure I will never ever again deign to chat to the type of idiots I've already met on here - that's an even bigger waste of time and then there is the added risk of being stalked by them and persistently abused. | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:53:09 AM | i'm so special because i choose to be,
i spent years with the "well its better than no one and being on your own brigade"
when i decided to get rid of the last one over 5yrs ago and never go down that road again i made a promise to myself i wouldn't just go out with a bloke thinking that it would be ok it has to be my perfect from now on
i have been single ever since but that's fine with me and if it means i am single for the rest of my life then that's also fine
there is nothing wrong with wanting the best for yourself  | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:17:24 AM | We are ALL special in unique and different ways...what makes us different is what makes us special. Your peculiar habit of biting your toenails might make most people cringe, but there will be one person out there who thinks it's cute!
Remember: to the world, we are one person....but to one person, we may be the world....
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:58:36 AM | I'm special because my mum told me so ! As soon as i see a profile full of 'I want's ' i immediately think i don't want ! I prefer 'i'm looking for' at least then you have a chance to see if you may be looking for the same things .. Another thing i find off putting is people who spend time and effort moaning about what they don't like and what annoys them ... far too dull , negative and cynical for me ! | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/29/2008 4:09:32 AM | | I'm not special, I'm distictly average. I'm polite (usually), don't do drugs, smoke and drink too much, spend all my money on mountain bikes and associated tat and try to enjoy my life. If someone wants to join me in that then so be it, whether it's as a friend or something much more. I'm not going to get desperate and just date anyone that comes along, I'll hopefully find the right person for me. In the meantime I'm happy with my lot. | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/29/2008 4:16:03 AM | I honestly couldn't say what makes me special but I must be...
Or are all my freinds lying when they smile and say...
"You're really special, aren't you?"
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/29/2008 4:21:30 AM | does it really matter what we see (personally) as being our special qualities, because the chances are, the person who falls for us will see something completely different anyway.
i don't see myself as special in any way, shape or form, but there have been a handful of people in my life who have seen me as exceptionally special...i don't know why, just as i'm not 100% sure what was special about the people i fell for...they just were...
i've never had a set list of requirements or wants...more a list of traits i didn't want...which granted, grew over the years as i gained more experience of what i find acceptable and unnaceptable.
for a while there i also found myself ignoring gut instinct..ie, the initial spark wasn't there, but i tried to be level headed about it and see if something deeper grew..it didn't. i could see why they were right for me in many ways but couldn't get past the niggling feeling that although on paper they were right, in my heart, it just didn't 'fit'....and just to confuse matters even more, i met someone, who, on paper, was all wrong...but in my heart, he does 'fit'...it feels more right than anything has for a long long time...
what makes us special is whatever the person who falls for us thinks it is. | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/29/2008 4:43:15 AM | Oh dear, OP, you sound on a bit of a downer today ....
I could give you my opinion with lots of cliches "life is what you make it" "you only live once" etc, but I won't coz that's not interesting !
I don't think for one moment that only TRULY LOYAL FAMILY ORIENTED PEOPLE ARE MARRIED AND SETTLED DOWN FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.
The thing with life is that none of us know from one day to the next what is around the corner, and that applies to married/loved up/partnered folk too.
We all find ourselves single for a million different reasons, and all have our stories to tell. I have no idea what today, tomorrow or next year will bring for me and that's exciting, isn't it ?!
I like being here, on a "dating" site. It gives an opportunity to connect and chat to people everywhere and anywhere. Maybe something will click and maybe it won't. I'm ever positive regarding a relationship. Who knows, I say.
And yeah, I'm special. Ask my my mum, my dad, my boys, my mates, my friends and my cats; they think so, and I think they pretty darn gorg too.
So, cheer up OP, stuff happens but don't start over analysing everything, coz that's just soooo depressing. Stay happy, I say!!! | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/29/2008 4:47:46 AM | I'm no more special than anybody else is. The point I think you did miss OP is that we are ALL special. Everyone is unique and special in their own way. We can all do something that others can't and are all better at somethings than others.
As for being damaged goods or the like being on here then I'm afraid that I would have to protest. I am 33 never been married or engaged. I chose to pursue a career straight from university and have been very successful in that. The problem was that I was livng to work, instead or workng to live and never spent enough time doing other things to meet that special someone. Now I have suddenly realised that life has flown by and its no fun doing things on your own anymore.
I'm not really into clubbing and getting paraletic drunk every weekend so this seemed as good a place as any to look for a nice lady as at my age most are married or have partners by now. | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/29/2008 4:49:43 AM | | I can make my tongue into the shape of a clover.... does that make me special? | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:14:17 AM | It has already eloquently been answered 'we are all unique' (voice from the back 'I'm not!' ).
I have had the chance in both professional and personal life to have a major difference to peoples lives - that coupled with my ability to breath through my ears when the occasion demands it must qualify as special!
I am at peace with myself, I trust myself - hell I even have sex with myself - that makes me special.
Oh I was always Mummy's Special little boy! | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:22:31 AM |
So, cheer up OP, stuff happens but don't start over analysing everything, coz that's just soooo depressing. Stay happy, I say!!!
I second that.
Get a grip! Pull yourself together!
We are all special in our own way.  | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:42:51 AM | Why do you think your so special that you deserve the best of whats left out there and hold on to the expectation that you will find it
My point being that some make it plain that they are undateable due to there constant references in posts and profile that they will except nothing but whats on there extensive tick list.
is quality seconds not good enough?
Yes, of course "quality seconds" is good enough - mainly due to the fact that there really isn't anything else.
Let's face it; everyone's perfect partner is someone elses "cast-off"...
But why should someone else be willing to settle for less than what they want, just because you are willing to?
the majority of truely loyal family orientated people are married or settled down for the rest of there lives
what is left is lots of people with baggage or some history that they have gone through
So that's how you view the point of life and a persons worth - to just get married and settle down for the rest of your life as soon as possible?
Seems like a pretty sad way of looking at things...
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/29/2008 6:07:12 AM | Internet dating is an option, not a surefire way of guarranteeing a happy future with an of the shelf, chosen from the picture gallery bride..
Too right.my op was not specifically about internet dating but whats available now in any walk of life to those who have reached a certain age.
lets face it, if you met someone on night out, you woul'nt immediatly start to tell them what you dont like
oh chit! i asked a lass at work i was trying to chat up if she wanted more kids and if she liked sqeezing the odd unreachable little spot on a mans back!(must make a note)
Oh dear, OP, you sound on a bit of a downer today ....
But im not! Granted my op is a little pessimistic but based on what i see as reality.
I don't think for one moment that only TRULY LOYAL FAMILY ORIENTED PEOPLE ARE MARRIED AND SETTLED DOWN FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.
I totally agree,and it is those we have to weed out from amongst the others.As well as those that give us hope.
So, cheer up OP, stuff happens but don't start over analysing everything, coz that's just soooo depressing. Stay happy, I say!!!
Im touched!
Analysing is in my nature,over analysing can be a difficult skill to negotiate sometimes.Not that i think i have in this OP!
So that's how you view the point of life and a persons worth - to just get married and settle down for the rest of your life as soon as possible?
Seems like a pretty sad way of looking at things...
You jumped to conclusions.My point is that a great deal of people who are loyal and monogamous and thrive on stable relationships are allready taken after they have reached a certain age.thus decreasing what is left for those who are like minded.
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/29/2008 6:30:04 AM | Why am I so special, that is extremely simplistic in it's answer, because I'm me LMAO
I don't know, I suppose my answer would be that I don't want to settle, I want what I deserve, respect love, equality, some-one who takes me as the person I am, faults and all, because I'm not perfect. Some-one who excepts me, and doesn't look down on me because I'm not perfect, some-one who doesn't want to change me. why should I settle for anything less than that? Why should I, I know I deserve someone who will treat me as I want to be treated. What do I have to offer that person, love, trust respect, faithfulness, friendship, that is what it is all about, I refuse to settle for anything less than that. | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:18:49 AM | Hey, i shop in Quality Seconds!Its good enough for me Seriously though, i,m special because i deserve to be loved just the same as everyone else.Whats the point of having an extensive tick list.You are just limiting yourself.Dont get me wrong here but we are never going to find Mr or Miss Perfect but surely just someone who will treat us how we want to be treated.I dont have any expectations in POF finding me my Mr Right for me, but if it happens whether thru this medium or out in the real world then thats great.By having no expectations in the first place,i cant be disappointed.If those with an extensive wish list are never going to compromise or budge from that then they could be passing up on someone who could be right for them. | |
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| Why are you so special?
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:25:48 AM | | because we are all special in our own ways we all have something that is presious.you also need to think that you are thats a good start | |
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