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| Sex or love?... Who wants what?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:56:25 AM |
I guess I'm just saying that a little more clarity going in, might mean a lot less turmoil going out?
Most definately!
Of course that requires true communication, which requires self knowledge, which requires awareness & introspection.
Precisely where Tantra & other forms come in.......
By your profile, I'm sure you know the futility of trying to "Lead a horse to water" should he be disinclined to drink.
I suppose the real problem is how to get folks to identify the nature & cause of thier 'thirst' when they have not been raised w/ the tools to do so.
Certainly the nature of the presentation & the language w/ which you do so are paramount in your aim to open a few eyes. | |
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| Sex or love?... Who wants what?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:00:03 AM | It's semantics really-one person's roll in the hay could be another's session of making love.
Honest communication, and not sugar coating the obvious would be prudent, but in the heat of passion, sometimes what a person wants is superceded by what they need-a little genital friction.
When I love someone sex is a component of that-but it's not everything to me. Making love is special, but that feeling differs from one person to the next. Wanting to be loved is a nice feeling-finding it can be elusive-but sex-if you want that it seems a far sight easier to come by. | |
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| Sex or love?... Who wants what?
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:08:10 PM | *BOTH*....
And...finding a 'Beloved' will be/has been the toughest part..!!
Loving someone makes the Sex part all the more rewarding...
Plus...the Sex just re-affirms the L VE...!!!
The more Love you have...the More you  Want
Anyone into Sex...just for the self-gratification of Sex....doesn't even Know What Love IS...!!!
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| Sex or love?... Who wants what?
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:35:03 PM | Well, to answer the topic question, I'm here looking for love.
To give my 2 cents to the making love vs having sex debate, I would define making love as sex + emotional connection that goes beyond sex...while having sex is "genital friction" and perhaps a good dose of infatuation/lust.
Or, from a slightly different point of view, "having sex" is mostly physical and is finished when you stop touching each other, "making love" is an almost spiritual thing and doesn't end with sex. Every smile, adoring gaze...every loving word, every breath you take at the same time...it's all part of making love.
In fact, I would go so far as to say that the sex is only a small part of "making love". Or, at least, that's my take on it. | |
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| Sex or love?... Who wants what?
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:47:48 PM | | Gone are the days of casual meaningless encounters. I want my best friend. I want my kinky sexy strong agressive man who treats me well outside the bedroom, and matches desires in the bedroom.. if there is a strong spiritual connection, then WOW...sex is amazing. Have a feeling I"ll be single for awhile...most of the guys I've been in touch with are just looking for sex... | |
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| Sex or love?... Who wants what?
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:01:35 PM | & there's the OP's main question (thread title is not really the big Q):
How does one determine BEFOREHAND who is out for a quick romp & who is capable & willing to undertake something more fulfilling? Some folks talk a pretty good game, but fail to deliver the goods.
Conversely, how does one determine who is out only for emotional/financial support & who is capable of sustaining long term passion once they have their partner/comfort zone?
Again, some folks talk a pretty good game, but fail to deliver the goods.
By what method or behavior can we determine which side a potential date falls on?
I have some pretty solid answers for the first dilemma (the one women most often state).......Feel like trading your 'secrets' on the second (the one men most often state), OP? | |
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| Sex or love?... Who wants what?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:19:52 PM |
I want my best friend. I want my kinky sexy strong agressive man who treats me well outside the bedroom, and matches desires in the bedroom.. if there is a strong spiritual connection, then WOW...sex is amazing.
What a great post! I couldn't agree more. I want the loving, sweet, soft, tender, sensual, gentle love-making that's hot, sweaty, steamy, and mind-blowing!! I'm still holding out for the whole package... | |
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| Sex or love?... Who wants what?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:42:58 PM | | We can't all be wise. Some of us dullards are doomed to stumble in the dark having the wrong kind of sex. O, the shame. | |
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| Sex or love?... Who wants what?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:52:39 PM | I want love. Love, love, love. That's because I have the soul of a poet. ( And I write like one too.)
I don't care what she looks like, just give me a bold, genuine heart that I can put next to mine so they can beat as one. Someone to rebel against sleep with so we can make it through the nights together, sharing our thoughts and desires, dreaming of a better world and doing what we can to change it during the day. | |
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| Sex or love?... Who wants what?
Posted: 6/29/2008 6:45:46 PM | Well to me the phrase "making love," means just that. To me, it is not an appropriate term if you are not in love with one another.
That being said, I'll take some of both. | |
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| Sex or love?... Who wants what?
Posted: 6/29/2008 6:48:30 PM | | uhhh waitress? i'll take both please. the more sex you get----the more love you will get. you need to please both animals. | |
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| Sex or love?... Who wants what?
Posted: 6/30/2008 3:41:39 PM | Also subjective and semantics BUT
""the more sex you get----the more love you will get."'
I think that should be REVERSED. Yes. Definitely reversed.
Unless you're dyslectic and then that's OK.
Damn, Miashakti and to think we coulda bin neighbors. Then maybe your cup coulda runneth over - with both. | |
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| Sex or love?... Who wants what?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:27:34 PM | 
""Sorry Dave, but I don't think so.""
Story of my life however I should warn you that your karma could suffer irreparable harm for this .....
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| Sex or love?... Who wants what?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:37:35 PM | I want to be in love.
But now I am just looking for sex.
Have you considered turning that into a T-shirt?
I will now. | |
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| Sex or love?... Who wants what?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:47:41 AM | I'm going through my second divorce, so I'm giving love a break for now, since it seems to be laying the smackdown on my candy ass...
I want to make it work eventually, but for now, I'm a pure pleasure seeker. | |
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