| the one?
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:44:02 PM | ever think like me?
so to start off, has anybody ever wanted someone so bad they would kill everybody just to have them all to themselves?
i am in this predicament(i dont know if i spelled that right) right now. she is the perfect woman, at least i think she is. i would do anthing to keep her. but i dont think she feels the same. everyonce in a while we "play", but that is the extent of it. we used to date, a while ago, and i dont think my feelings ever went away. i mean i would marry her tomorrow. so what do i do? do i try to win her over? do i try to be "that guy"? or will it just make me look foolish? i know what i want to do but i am not sure if it is the right thing to do. i wish this whole game was eisier, i am not much of a thinker you know.
so i guess what i am asking is, have any of you been in this spot before and if so what is the right thing to do?
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| the one?
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:04:46 PM | Just back off and let her breath..if she wants you..she will let you know.
Other than that..if it's meant to be...it will happen | |
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| the one?
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:16:39 PM | ^^^ "Other than that..if it's meant to be...it will happen"
Okay OP, I'll cover the other end of the spectrum....Nothing ventured, nothing gained. So now you can choose from these two choices....not a whole lot in between. Flip a coin, mix them up in a hat, however....or, just try one. If it doesn't work, then go the other route. You will have your answer soon enough.
~ds~ | |
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| the one?
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:34:35 PM | AAHH! it is soo confusing! there is really no inbetween? | |
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| the one?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:01:55 PM | | I think I can relate to your desire to be with someone so bad it consumes your entiure being. All I can tell you is don't make the same mistake I made. Don't be smothering. Don't be obsessed with the 'idea' of being together. Just let it happen. Give her space and live your own life. If it's meant to be then it will be... the more you try to force it, the more likely it won't work... | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 6 | |
| the one?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:30:21 PM | Just from a female's standpoint on this...
...If I was inlove with a man...and he thought I was "The One"....Id be very VERY hurt if he didnt do anything about it.
Yeah...so speaking from experience now...*I* was exceptionally hurt but more important than that I dunno how I feel about the faith I could ever put in this particular man should things ever change & our lives cross paths again, even though my feelings for him never changed and wont till I fall inlove again.
So dont put yourself in the same position OP. There's no glory in regrets and unwritten chapters in your life.
It comes around very rarely in life and they cannot be manufactured.
Its a gift. Dont let these moments pass you by. | |
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| the one?
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:02:09 PM | Thinking in terms of killing everyone to get something is insane, so you might want to look into that before you wind up using your uncontrollable impulse as an excuse for mayhem.
It's good to like someone. It is abnormal to be driven by your desire for them. That is what leads up to stand-offs with the police, rampages, kidnappings and whatnot. The best way to head that off is to talk with a psychiatrist, be honest about your feelings and then follow their advice. Because left to your own, you will get more obsessed and less in control, more frustrated, more violent and then wind up dead or in prison.
Unless it was just a figure of speech. If so, buy her a little teddy bear holding a bag of jelly beans. | |
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| the one?
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:53:50 PM | | OP, no, but I have had romantic obsessions of women, where I would spend copious amounts of time thinking about them, dwell on every word we exchanged, remember how they looked when standing on a dock, facing the ocean, hair blown back by the wind...ah, you get the idea. My advice? Bury your feelings. Flush them. Forget about them. In time, they will pass, and she will be happy without you staining her life or her memories. The best way to make others happy is to not disturb their waters. With silent eyes, they will thank you. Basically, if you're not invited, you're actively excluded. Think about it! | |
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| the one?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:52:10 PM |
.If I was inlove with a man...and he thought I was "The One"....Id be very VERY hurt if he didnt do anything about it.
I agree with this thought, but, what if this "one" is a good friend and somethings have been spoken but you are too worried about either changing or potentially ruining the friendship by saying something and declaring your feelings. I know and have been friends with someone I too feel is the "one" for me, she possess everything I have always been looking for in a SO, but first and foremost we are friends. We have hinted at and even mentioned that should either of us decide to hook up she'd come knocking, but I don't want to just blurt out how I feel about her and scare her away. So, do I just wait and see if she comes a calling or just put it out there and hope for the best. I am with you OP, there just seems to be no gray area, it's either or and that seems to be it. I hope things go better for you OP and it all works out well in the end. | |
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| the one?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:35:25 PM | Killing everybody around you might be detrimental to the relationship. The next time you have the urge to kill everyone around you, instead maybe try some weeding in the garden. I think you might really be surprised.
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| the one?
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:18:31 AM | | Maybe you two can just have a simple conversation about your feelings. Find out if she has any feelings for you. Tell her you have feelings for her (start off easy, not with that whole killing everyone else line, or telling her she's "the one"...just take it easy a bit). Ask her if she'd like to explore more of a relationship. Don't worry about winning her over exactly - you can't force someone to fall in love with you. | |
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| the one?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:33:45 AM | Complex-
The man I see now is someone I met and dated about five yrs ago. At that time I wasn't ready to commit to him, and pushed him away. A year passed and neither he or I spoke to each other. Out of the blue he called to say he'd like to see me-seeing I still cared about the man, we planned a dinner date. Well, since that time we've been dating off and on for the past few years. I never tried to win him back-but we both admittedly missed each other.
The point is-if she cares about you, give her some space. Either she's going to miss the hell out of you and want you back or she'll just move on with the business of living. Is it hard to let someone go that you care about-sure-but if it's meant to be it will. Feel with your heart, but think with your brain. If you really want to know where you stand with her than simply ask her, but be prepared to hear everything. It's not an easy place to be, but sometimes if both parties care enough about each other it can work out. | |
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| the one?
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:00:01 PM | At this point, I am not sure, but you may have entered the "Let's Just Be Friends Zone." Its not necessarily a deal breaker. You need to work on becoming the most attractive man that you can.
There are so many things you can do. Here are some tips on just what you gave me.
1. Stop being the "Nice Guy." If you want to attract her, being the nice guy at first is not the way to attract her. Women are attracted to the bad boy because they are adventurous and unpredictable. The nice guy is needy and predictable. I am not saying be a jerk.
2. Stop viewing her as the only women out there for you. There are 6.6 Billion people that roam this earth and half of them are women. You have made her you world and you don't even have her. It should NEVER be that way. WOMEN ARE IN ABUNDANCE! THEY ARE NOT A SCARCITY!
3. Distance yourself from her. She has already saw all that you have to offer and probably is not attracted to it enough do really want it. So I recommend a minimum of 2 weeks or ideally a month of distance. In this time you are going to LEARN how to attract women.
4. After you separation period, you are going to come back more fascinating than ever.
Really this question is hard to answer but you can get a free eBook called "The Enlightened Alpha" at enlightenmentdating (dot) com. It will give you idea's on how to attract women. I also recommend The Mystery Method and The Way Of The Superior Man.
Hope that helps! | |
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| the one?
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:08:15 PM | I hear your anxiety, she is sending you mixed messages, that is harsh. but the reality of her feelings must be explored, nothing like open honesty, trying to win her over sounds like too much work, if she rejects your offer for more relationship then move on, she is obviously not the girl you think she is, do you want to have this uncertainty hanging over you for the duration of your time together.
sorry you did not give us much info, what happened to your dating how was that, rethink that did it go well, are you needing to change to be with this person
I wish you luck with all this passion | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 15 | |
| the one?
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:15:10 PM | Umm...yeah 13...*smirk*...
OP...IF a woman likes you...you dont back off on her ok? It'll piss her off if she *does* like you not magically fascinate her.
And if she doesnt much like you...she's just not gonna give a shit.
If you do happen to attract her under these circumstances....you've built a relationship based on manipulation and not honest feeling. It wont last.
You dont have to be either a Nice Guy OR a jerk. Just do your thing, dont overwhelm her but stay consistent.
If she's interested in you then she'll naturally respond to your input and want to spend time with you and if she isnt interested ...she wont.
Which will be the exact impression you give her if you "back off" ie. you arent interested.
If she's not willing to meet you halfway on the input of everything...then dont bother with her cos it means she doesnt actually care about you.
So why you'd wanna manipulate or create a scenario to win a woman that doesnt give a damn about you...is frankly....kinda stupid. 
Even if the idea of those fricken dumbass books is to use them as tool to win a woman because you love her...they cannot make a woman love you back. Thats the bottom line.
So if she doesnt love you...she wont stay around.
Oh one more thing...IF a woman already knows how she feels about you (Love) and you back off...you'll hurt her...and she's not likely to be happy to see you again after that.
Infact...all of this is completely moot...cos if she's The One...you wont have to try to win or play games for her affections...she'll already feel the same way. | |
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