| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:06:29 PM | So can a woman really use a man just for sex,?I met this guy the other night at the bar, we fouled around then immediately I asked him nicely to leave. This was by all means not my intention.
So guys have you ever experienced being used, how did it make you feel?
Would you call the girl back? I think he may have wanted more than just the sex, I also was his first on something in the bedroom.
What would make you call a girl back if it was just one night?
please share your stories and experiences, any advice would help.
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:56:36 PM | | OP if it wasn't your intention why did you do it? As for using the guy, you seem to have already formed some kind of weird attachment or why would you be bothered as to whether or not the guy came back to you? Playing games won't get you a stayer. | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:43:55 AM | Well, geez, she did it, so what...the tenor seems to be somehow women can't do these things, but men can. I don't, however, condone either gender using the other (whether for sex or anything else). Having said that, these archaic notions regarding men and women drive me nuts.
OP: you'll know soon enough if he's interested. If he's enthusiastic and calls, bingo...or you make the call and he's enthusiastic. Same way a man knows if a woman is interested. Eh?! | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 1:02:47 AM | How can you say you USED HIM when it was unintentional? You asked him nicely to leave and he left.
Sounds like HE USED YOU and was able to cut and run without making a speech, because you realized you made a mistake and didn't want him to think otherwise.
Dude was already reaching for his shoes before you even asked....nah, you didn't use him. Not that there's anything wrong with that. If you used him you wouldn't be timidly asking people DID I or DIDN'T I? You would know for sure.
If you gave him a number, he will call. Maybe not tomorrow or next week, but some lonely weekend before a holiday, he will call. Could be this Friday! Rent a horror movie so you have and excuse to crawl on him.  | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 1:32:43 AM |
So can a woman really use a man just for sex,?
Sure women can, just as well as men can.
What you did was a one night stand. It happens and nothing is wrong with it.
What would make you call a girl back if it was just one night?
Speaking for myself, could be a # of things.
Maybe for someone else, you have answered that with
I also was his first on something in the bedroom.
It all depends on how good it was.
If he does call, what are you thinking of doing? | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 1:54:04 AM |
So can a woman really use a man just for sex,?I met this guy the other night at the bar, we fouled around then immediately I asked him nicely to leave. This was by all means not my intention.
I am constantly amazed at the way women do things which are not their intention.
Do you want to see him again ?
I know, if it was me you would. | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 2:23:46 AM | | OP you state that you used a guy for sex, then you turn around and ask if thats possible my answer is this OF CURSE you did it!! and not only that but you ADMIT t doing it so yes it is possible for women to use men for sex because you did. | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:23:04 AM | | if i was drunk enough to leave with some random, i'd probably be losing all respect for her as i followed her to her place... would i call her back? i have no room in my life for chicks who pick up random dudes in bars, so no... though, i try to stay away from std's, so i wouldn't have gone in the first place. if you want to be a whore, fine... but don't expect flowers afterward. | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:42:19 AM |
f i was drunk enough to leave with some random, i'd probably be losing all respect for her as i followed her to her place... would i call her back? i have no room in my life for chicks who pick up random dudes in bars, so no... though, i try to stay away from std's, so i wouldn't have gone in the first place. if you want to be a whore, fine... but don't expect flowers afterward.
Would you also lose respect for yourself in the process? Because, you know, it takes two people to engage in this kind of activity. If you follow through, aren't you being a whore too? You're the one doing the following home... You're a big boy. I'm sure you could say no if you wanted. And then that would save you the trouble of having to lose respect for anyone. | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:54:28 AM |
I met this guy the other night at the bar
You two met at a bar. I kind of doubt the guy was thinking "Love at first sight! She's the one, I'm proposing tomorrow!".
He went home with you after meeting at a bar, my guess is he knew exactly what it was about. If you were both ok with it which you obviously were, I don't see any reason to feel guilty or question it. I just hope you practiced safe sex with a random bar guy. | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:01:21 AM |
losing all respect for her as i followed her to her place...
^^^^ Holigolightly,i thought exactly the same thing as you....
So,its ok for the GUY to follow the GIRL,but SHE's a whore.....
Ppfftt..............(seems the ole double standard thing is still alive in SOME guys' minds)...
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:12:48 AM | OP Of course it's possible, and actually probable since you asked him to leave afterward. There is nothing wrong with what you did, but honestly, I wouldn't be waiting by the phone. Had he stayed the night, I might have felt differently. So you had some wild sex with a stranger you met at a bar, no biggie, but little usually comes from such chance encounters.
If you should bump into him at the bar and hook up again, let him stay the night next time. In the morning you may find out what he thinks about you or whatever it was you did in the bedroom, that he'd never done before. At this point I'm thinking that he is the only one who is likely to know what he thought (if anything) about you as a person or your moves in bed.
Best Wishes ~ | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:30:26 AM | Well Ginger,
I have this rule that I would never consider dating any woman I met at a bar- that being said I will explain:
1. How do I know she isn't a frequent bar fly and does this with numerous men?
2. Again why would I want to be with someone so easy?
3. If this is all just sex --chances are good I will be bored with her in a week. | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:38:33 AM |
I have this rule that I would never consider dating any woman I met at a bar- that being said I will explain:
1. How do I know she isn't a frequent bar fly and does this with numerous men?
2. Again why would I want to be with someone so easy?
3. If this is all just sex --chances are good I will be bored with her in a week.
1. Same could be said about you. How does a woman know that this isn't true about YOU?
2. Again, why would a woman want sex with someone so easy?
3. If this is all just sex - maybe she will be bored with you after.
Why the double standard? You are at the bar too. Therefore it must be safe to make these assumptions about you, right? | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:51:09 AM |
So guys have you ever experienced being used, how did it make you feel?
I was a virgin until I was 27. I met a 21 year-old girl through the Internet when chat rooms were still Telnet-only (all text, no graphics or pictures), and mostly limited to Universities (we were both in school). We chatted for about a year before I made the off-handed remark that I wished she was local (she was an 8-hour drive away). To make a long story short, she agreed to come up to my place and spend her Spring break with me.
The entire week was little more than sex, sex, and more sex (there's even a funny, short story on the series of events that kicked this off). Oh, I forgot to mention that she was amazingly gorgeous! Jackpot, jackpot, jackpot!
After she went back home, and called me a few days later to tell me she wasn't pregnant (whew!), I was trying to arrange another visit, but was encountering subtle forms of resistance. I came right out and asked her if she was trying to let me down easy, and she said yes. She told me that she didn't have any feeling for me, and never did. Shockingly, I didn't think anything of it for years (aside from the resulting heartbreak).
When I told this story to an older woman at work years later, she told me, "It sounds like she was just using you for sex."
After thinking about it for a minute, it occurred to me that I had been used. After a few more seconds, I thought about it again. "I was used for sex?" Then again. "I was used for sex!" The heartbreak lifted (which had stayed with me all that time), the dark clouds around my self-respect dispersed, a huge smile formed on my face, and I was all but singing in the rain.
So how did I feel? I felt like my life had been given back to me. | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:25:10 AM | Interesting, what would you even call building a relationship after immediate sex-retro bonding?
So many questions, so few answers-were you horny that night, or was he just hot?
In any event, he'll probably get over it. | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:02:12 AM | I had a similar thing happen to me with a girl I met online (not on here) and when I didn't sleep with her she asked me to leave and never spoke to me again. So yeah, I felt pretty used and also annoyed/hurt because I thought she wanted the same thing I did, but apparently not.
It depends on what he is interested in. If he wants more, he'll probably call, if not, he won't. Why do you care though if you just wanted sex? | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:04:51 AM | cowboy -
How do you know the same isn't true of women? Are you somehow morally superior?
I don't go to bars often, and when I'm there I;m not looking for casual sex. But I guess if I tried to talk to you at a bar you would just make your assumptions anyways. | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:12:49 AM | hmmm assumptions ---no -- I would listen to you if you struck up conversation with me at the bar--- might even buy you a Guinness to help you mellow out a tad. lol
The bar is ok if you are there with old friends or family etc....
Ya know the road to hell is paved with good intentions--- why tempt the bottom dwellers of the night? | |
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| I think I used a guy for sex....Is that possibly?
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:17:03 AM | Just goes to show you - the assumptions you made earlier about women at bars are not necessarily correct.
But you know what would actually help me "mellow out"? If people stopped making stupid assumptions based on a double standard (not just you cowboy, believe me). | |
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