| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:26:31 AM | Ok so I know a couple who have splitt up recently (3months ago or so) and they are both in my cirlcle of friends, not really that close but we know the same people etc. Anywayz I ended up sleeping with my friend (the female one ) completely randomly after a night out, it came out the blue as we didnt even flirt with each other over the course of the night.
I do quite like her, the sex was good but not sure if I really wanna persue + not sure how her ex would feel about it?
Anyone else been in this scenario? | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:38:16 AM | | I'm not sure what your question is. Personally, I think it's not very friend-like to sleep with a friend's ex, unless you know for a fact that he doesn't care. It's not about the fact that she's your friend, but that she's the ex of a friend. Does he know? | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:39:53 AM | | Has she tried to get in touch with you? Do you care about what her ex thinks? He is her ex after all, he could have stayed with her. You lose your rights to a person after you break up. Ask yourself the reasons you aren't sure about dating her. Write them down and then you should know how interested you really are. Now, if you REALLY wanted to date her, you probably would not have written your post and would have a date lined up. | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:50:02 AM | lol
Basically I have a large social group and these guys I know but not very well, I ran club nights which is where I know them from, going out, a few parties and they've been there etc. They are more friends of friends I suppose but they were a cool couple and are both wicked people...
Like i said it was out of the blue, neither of us set out to sleep with each other that night but shit happens!
She told me her ex has told her to move on, I kinda feel abit guilty but I wouldnt really consider him as a close mate. | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:50:22 AM | friends don't sleep with friends ex's.... but it seems like you guys are more social friends than buddies...
but... with that said..... you need to talk to her and figure out why you guys did it... and if something is going to come of it... or if it was just a one night thing.... and see what she is even thinking... she may be embarrassed or regretful... especially if alcohol was involved... or she may have been feeling you the whole time.... but just be sure what it is you want... don't offer anything you don't really mean... | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:53:54 AM |
Personally, I think it's not very friend-like to sleep with a friend's ex
I completely agree with you but what i am trying to get at is
1. we are not really close mates
2. it was really random and out the blue
I guess I should tell him? or should she?
I dunno, anyway we have exchanged a few txts after it happend and she wants to meet up again | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:55:25 AM | | You abused her and she allowed it to happen. I hope she can stay sober and give herself a break from sex and sleeping with guys who don't give a rat's ass about her mental or physical welfare! | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:57:31 AM |
You abused her and she allowed it to happen. I hope she can stay sober and give herself a break from sex and sleeping with guys who don't give a rat's ass about her mental or physical welfare!
WTF are u on about? | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:01:31 AM | WOW @ Smileee..... he said he liked her... where are you getting that she was drunk or or took advantage of her?? the only reason he isn't sure what to do is because she dated his friend..... no one used anyone in this as far as what is posted....
as for op.... if you like her... talk with her ex.... see how uncomfortable the situation would be... but be sure it is worth it.... sometimes we end up losing friends over this kind of thing.... | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:05:43 AM | not sure not sure not sure!!! really, could you not find someone else to sleep with.
I wasnt even looking lol
WOW @ Smileee..... he said he liked her... where are you getting that she was drunk or or took advantage of her?? the only reason he isn't sure what to do is because she dated his friend..... no one used anyone in this as far as what is posted....
as for op.... if you like her... talk with her ex.... see how uncomfortable the situation would be... but be sure it is worth it.... sometimes we end up losing friends over this kind of thing....
I do like her, she's cool but I like her Ex aswell and dont want to piss him off either
@(Smileee)
No one took advantage of anyone, read properly b4 u make comments like that in my thread pls | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:08:24 AM | Look....she not WITH the ex..............He's not a great friend just an aquaintence.........if you want to see her ....see her..........
And why would either of you tell him.....Good lord..........its not like she cheated......
Your all adults start acting like it......................
All she has to do is tell him she's moving on with her life......she owes him no explantions...........unless they broke up that night....if thats the case
EDIT.....I see they broke up three months ago..........well then nothing needs to be explained.............. | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:16:51 AM |
Look....she not WITH the ex..............He's not a great friend just an aquaintence.........if you want to see her ....see her..........
And why would either of you tell him.....Good lord..........its not like she cheated......
Your all adults start acting like it......................
All she has to do is tell him she's moving on with her life......she owes him no explantions...........unless they broke up that night....if thats the case
EDIT.....I see they broke up three months ago..........well then nothing needs to be explained..............
True say | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:18:06 AM | If I were the girl and found out that you ran it past my ex for permission or blessings, I wouldn't date you. That is kind of a cheesy thing to do. Especially when neither of you knows yet if you really want to date. It is way to preliminary for that.
The other thing to consider is whether you will feel awkward in public with her and this guy around. Is he going to freak out, or will she be pawing you and trying to make him jealous? Many things to think about. | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:20:33 AM | Good grief what a drama!
No one needs to explain to anyone. But op does need to decide if he's going to pursue this with her.
What I don't think is great is that people sleep together without talking about emotional content first. Op likes her, sex was good, but not sure... | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:21:52 AM | No, I would not put myself in this scenario. I don't sleep with the ex's of my friends and/or acquiantances.
If they aren't "real" friends and you are not sure if you want to pursue her then what's the problem/question?
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:27:42 AM |
If I were the girl and found out that you ran it past my ex for permission or blessings, I wouldn't date you. That is kind of a cheesy thing to do.
Its just a respect thing, if my mate had done something like this (which has happend) then I would like him to have the decency to tell me, I wouldnt want to find out from a third party.
I have spitt up with a partner recently (well a year or so ago but its a long story, see 'my ex' thread) so im not looking for anything GF wise at the moment.
Maybe i'll jst meet up with her, have a chat about the other night and take it from there | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:36:52 AM |
problem/question
I dont really know what the question is tbh, i guess im just looking for abit of advice from anyone thats been in this situation....
and please dont make it sound like I am a bad person, I had NO intention to sleep with this girl and neither did she it happend really randomly... I would prefer to meet someone that wasnt in my circle of friends etc but its difficult when your in my postion because of what I do
At the end of the day we're both single and have both been told to move on by our ex partners. | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:47:09 AM | | Humm sorry mate but i ve gotta admit i still think thats wrong, but hey each to there own and all that. Just saying i wouldn't. | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:54:09 AM | It is no one's business nor place to say if you are a "bad person" or not.
What I will say, when you place yourself in this type of situation rest assure it will bring drama/some level of uncomfortability into the "circle of friends". Unless this case is the exception.
There is some inconsistency on how you are describing this scenario. Initially, you stated that you weren't sure if you wanted anything with her, then you state that it's the only way to meet people, and then you state you are both single/partners have asked you to move on.
Just be upfront with your intentions and the rest will be revealed............. | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:24:32 PM | My husband divorced me- we have a circle of about 200 close friends and acquaintences that get together a couple times a year. One of the acquaintences took notice of me 6 months after my divorce- at one of our annual gatherings. we started calling and emailing- we live 800 miles apart but he would fly me in for events- and my ex was always around. We all handled it well- My new companion was a little uncomfortable at first, but really it wasn't so bad. You can't control what others say, do or feel, so do what feels right to you(the two of you) and take it from there- and why the hell does ANYONE have to know you slept with each other- let them assume all they want- what actually happens is between only the two of you.
I don't sleep with people I don't know- so that narrows it to only people that I do know- it's not a bad thing in my opinion. | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:17:13 AM |
There is some inconsistency on how you are describing this scenario. Initially, you stated that you weren't sure if you wanted anything with her, then you state that it's the only way to meet people, and then you state you are both single/partners have asked you to move on.
then you state that it's the only way to meet people
Not quite sure what u mean??
Whats the only way to meet people? | |
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| Sleeping with someone you know
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:31:28 AM | You've...posted repeatedly "it just Happened"...
does anyone truly take responsibility for the consequence of action anymore lol?
not bustin' your chops....just musing.
But your story indistinct on a few key points. Divorce decreed yet? Or merely separated? Do ya "like her kinds cause the sex was good"? Not that you need express undying vows of love for everyone you bed..but whats the issue? And if you didnt flirt with her...but when she expresses her interest it just happened? To me..i wonder if she were seeking validation...from a lonely, hungry, rejected pov? Just a guess.
And..the night out...what did that entail? Just the two of you? So was there attraction beyond just the accidental bumpin' uglies? Oh it does just happen...but sounds like you are abit conflicted by this.... | |
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