| Please review me
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:07:18 PM | Hi everybody,
Haven't had a whole lot of luck with my profile. I've sent out messages but never get a reply. I've seen that people have at least viewed my profile, but nothing happens. I would greatly appreciate some honest and constructive criticism.
Thanks in advance!
Kelly from Raleigh | |
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| Please review me
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:22:48 PM | Hi and welcome Kelly.
I don't see alot wrong with your profile and you've only been here a little over a week, so be patient.
I think your pictures are good. But to be honest, you sort of confuse me (ain't hard to do) but for someone who likes a good sense of humor, you should add a little bit more of yourself in that regard.
What are you sending in your messages ?
I know alot of men don't invest much in a message to a woman, thinking they probably won't reply anyway. | |
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| Please review me
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:00:39 PM | Hi Kelly,
I don't see a lot wrong with your profile either - I just have one suggestion.
A lot of my past relationships went south because of dependency issues.
I don't think it's a good idea to bring up past relationships in your About Me, especially in a negative way. Also, this sentence makes it sound like you're blaming a bunch of girls for everything that went wrong, and that would make me wary that you'd blame everything on me if things didn't work out if we dated. There were two people in the relationship, not just one.
What are you saying in your messages? I get quite a few messages that say something like, "You're pretty. I like your profile. Do you want to chat?" This shows a lack of effort. If you're going to send a message, carefully read the profile and respond to something in it with comments and a couple questions about what you've seen in the profile. If you're already doing that, then I'd say just give it time. And the more messages you send out the more chances you'll have of getting a response.
Good luck! | |
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| Please review me
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:20:15 PM | | Your right sara, when I read that line I immediately thought of drug problems, but I don't think it's a good idea to just omit that line completely. What's the point? | |
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| Please review me
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:31:23 PM | There's probably a better way to say it. It's just that in the past, I've had issues with women being overly clingy. It's not that I'm a commit-o-phobe or anything, but I need to feel like I'm entitled my own space without being made to feel guilty about it.
I'm fully aware that there are two people in a relationship, and admit my own faults. Is there a better way of saying this?
And I do take care to read profiles and put thought into my messages. Maybe I'm just getting too discouraged too fast? | |
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| Please review me
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:36:08 PM | Hi Sunny, are you asking what's the point of removing that line? I think the point would be to sound more positive and less like you're carrying around 'baggage'. That stuff can always be talked about later when you know each other better. Tell us what you're looking for, not what you're NOT looking for (I just got called on doing that too!)
So, Kelly, instead of those two sentences, you could squeeze something in about wanting to date someone who is independent and self-sufficient, maybe in the paragraph where you talk about being happy but still looking for self-improvement. | |
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| Please review me
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:43:04 PM | Hi Kelly,
Yes, if you're putting thought into your messages, then just give it some time! You haven't been on the site very long. Every once in a while I go on a big message-sending fest, and probably receive responses from 1/3 of the people I send them to.
Your profile is thoughtful and well-written (more so than many of the profiles on this site) so I can't imagine that you won't be getting some responses soon. :)
See above for my (humble) suggestions on what you might say instead of mentioning problems with dependency. If you say you're looking for someone independent, that implies that you don't want someone 'clingy' without having to mention the negative side.
cheers,
Sarah | |
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| Please review me
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:00:16 PM | Hi.
I'm a little more blunt then most reviewers. I offer this solely so you can find a good match.
Your pictures all suck. You look boring. You need to remove that picture that has you with another woman in it. I suggest a good, clear, picture with you SMILING, and obviously enjoying it. People can tell a fake smile. If your not smiling don't bother uploading it. For a second picture, an up close full body shot wearing something snappy. Make an effort to put nothing in the background, or keep it simple. Don't take this picture in front of a nice car, or kiss half your would be audience goodbye. If your serious about online dating (and you should be, because marriage is fairly permanent) you need a seriously good picture.
2nd.
Don't talk too much about your job. Your job doesn't define you. You merely work there. Your on a dating site to offer yourself to another person in a non-professional way. Its not a resume. Your single word "Project Manager" in occupation is more then enough to get folks interested in you for your stability and employment.
3rd.
[I appreciate the irony if this list, but you requested it]
People hate lists, especially "YOU MUST BE LIKE THIS BEFORE I CONSIDER HAVING SEX WITH YOU". Remove all the requirements. Use only "I" statements like "I am funny", or "I am smart". [Bonus points for stories, and not just stated opinions, demonstrate your wit, or suave." Your a man, you message the ladies, you pick who you want to date. Nothing says tacky like messaging someone as if your interested, then them reading a list.
4th.
Why you? Why not some other guy? What makes you so special? While this may not be the best place to self-disclose a love for a sexual fetish, you can admit to something a bit more mundane, like people watching, having to watch every episode of LOST, or an enjoyment of the simple things in life. Ask a friend to help write a small paragraph about you, to get a 3rd view of who you are. Don't worry about posting something that sounds silly, stupid, (just not trite) Make people angry. Any emotion, is better then no emotion.
PLEASE. NO MENTION OF "WALKING ON THE BEACH"! If you walk anywhere, its on stilts!
The good news is by taking your profile seriously, you've seriously upped the chances of finding a good match.
Good Luck! | |
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| Please review me
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:12:39 PM | | ooops, Sara, I meant I DO think it's a good idea to omit that line completely. Sorry, about that. I was loopy. | |
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