| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:57:34 AM | Just curious to see if I'm the only one who is paranoid about this issue.
Due to a variety of personal issues, bad marriage, bad divorce, bad custody battle and
seriously ill child,I havent been intimate for a long time with a woman, going on eight years.
After I decided to look for someone , I also decided that before I so much as kiss a woman I was going to insist on mutual testing for disease.
Recently I had a few dates with a woman I met on Plentyofish, and she asked me why
I hadnt tried to kiss her, and when I told her why, she got angry. I think she took it
as a personal insult. So whats your view on this issue, do you get tested?
Be honest. | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:04:23 AM | | getting out of bed is a risk ...being intimate and going to bed with someone is a risk that some of choose to take ...you can live in a bubble but is that really living....there is no 100% safe sex ...get use to it or abstain | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:10:34 AM | | I was with a guy once who was like you. He used "protection from disease" as an excuse not to get close to anyone. He accused me of giving him an STD (which I hadn't, he went to a doctor who could find nothing wrong with him--physically)--after 1.5 years together. We broke up over this matter. Which I sort of assume is why he "thought that" in the first place. | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:37:53 AM | Tested before kissing? I think thats going a bit overboard for most people. Do you get the whole family tested before going to a wedding, where 'Aunt Rose' like to plant a big one on everybody's lips? You can get quite sick from colds or flu from touching doorknobs, phones, shaking hands or being near someone who sneezes.
As Deerdog says, living is risky, and there is nothing that is 100% protective when it comes to sex. What I believe most people do is get the knowledge and weigh the risks. Knowing her history (not with 100 guys last week), her general health and being observant can go a long way. Have safeR sex with condoms and get an HIV test if you are committed and want to enjoy sex without them after a while. | |
|
| |
| |
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 11:56:24 AM |
Tested before kissing? You can catch HSV1 herpes that causes cold sores from someone simply by kissing them. So the first kiss should be eliminated when dating because you have to test the person first. Sadly everyone is exposed to herpes all the time, but people are too arrogant and ignorant to acknowledge it. Chances are, you already have HSV1 orally but it's been dormant for years and you never have out breaks.
You can get quite sick from colds or flu from touching doorknobs, phones, shaking hands or being near someone who sneezes.
Holy crap! you're right, I better not leave my house because I can catch something! Wait, what about the mailman? If he delivers mail, he might infect me with something! | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:28:26 PM | Yep......of course, I've only had 3 partners in the last 15 years (ralationships of 9, 3 & 3+ years), so the doctor bills aren't exactly breaking the bank. 
Like the poster about says, it's not always fool proof even if you order the specific tests.......but it's better than nothing! | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:42:57 PM | It would be condoms always. IF I was going to make it a long term relationship I would insist we both be tested. Because having condoms as a barrier sucks, Even though I can't get pregnant, I would want it to be natural. But only after the tests. | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 2:25:37 PM | I think testing for everything under the sun would be a good idea but it's not always practical for every situation, depending on a number of things. But a standard STD panel is simple enough to get and not that expensive. That wouldn't include testing for Herpes though, you'd have to ask for and order that in addition. And the accurate Herpes tests are relatively new and some doctors haven't even gotten the word about 'em yet (and that's scary). And somebody mentioned HPV testing but last I heard, there is no such HPV test for men. Only women. (somebody correct me if I'm wrong on that). But HIV would be the one I'd be most concerned about. So even if I skipped the others, that's one I'd want.
Problem is, finding a conscientious doc and/or a lab that knows what they're doing. Many times an inaccurate test result, no matter which test, is due to the test being botched by the handler. There are other possible pitfalls as well of course, like an infection too recent to detect for instance.
So my answer would be, for a potential long term relationship, I think it's a good investment. If nothing turns up, then fine. And if it does, it can be dealt with by the happy couple before it becomes a problem. And that part sounds like a no brainer to me. | |
|
| |
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:04:05 PM | | when single and without any committed partner, my rule is to play safe and get tested every 4-6 months or so. once i'm with a monogamous partner, then it's wise for us to continue with protected sex until we've both tested clean for STDs at the 3 month mark. but no sex during the waiting period? c'mon most people would indulge in at least some form of sexual intimacy within the first 3 months...lets be realistic. | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:07:04 PM |
Protecting yourself using condoms is better
Condoms don't protect against everything... HPV and Gonorrhea can be acquired by skin contact. Do you use condoms for oral???? If not there's not much point in putting it on for intercourse... | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:08:43 PM |
then it's wise for us to continue with protected sex until we've both tested clean for STDs at the 3 month mark.
You're atually supposed to get tested at both the 3 month and 6 month mark (after last time you had sex ) to be about 95% sure...
Testing at only 3 months can miss some dormant STD's | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:12:15 PM | | ^^^ actually i've spoken with my local health nurse several times on this very issue, and while they previously recommended testing again at 6 months for HIV (as all other STDs could be eliminated at 3 months) this is no longer the case. i can't speak for the quality of testing in your area, but where i live all testing including HIV is considered conclusive at 3 months now. | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:19:11 PM | ---kissing?? what did you want her to get tested for?---
Gee, let me see.
Glandular fever – also known as the kissing disease. Glandular fever is the common term for a viral infection called infectious mononucleosis, caused by the Epstein-Barr virus. The virus is spread through saliva and infection occurs through contact.
Herpes infection – viruses that are considered part of the herpes family include Epstein-Barr, varicella-zoster (causes chickenpox) and herpes simplex (causes cold sores). Herpes simplex virus can be spread through direct contact with the virus when kissing. Herpes is most easily spread to others when the blisters are forming or have erupted. The virus can be ‘shed’ (spread to others) from the site of blisters even when they have healed.
Hepatitis B – kissing may also transmit this virus, although blood has higher levels of this virus than saliva. Infection can occur when infected blood and saliva come into direct contact with someone else’s bloodstream or mucous membranes. (Mucous membranes line various body cavities including the mouth and nose.) A person is more likely to be infected when kissing if they have open sores in or around the mouth.
Warts – warts in the mouth can be spread through kissing, especially if there are areas of recent trauma.
Meningococcal disease – this is a potentially life-threatening condition which includes meningitis, inflammation of the membranes (meninges) that surround the brain and spinal cord, and septicaemia. These bacteria can be spread either through direct contact or via droplets.
And then thers that pesky resurgence of tuberculosis around the globe. Dont laugh.
When my son was three he was exposed to tuberculosis and had to go through a year of medication. The health department tracked it down to an illegal from Guatemala
who had attended the same church we did. You can get TB pretty easily through
kissing.
I dont need that kind of trouble when it can be easily averted by simple precautions and restraint. | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:27:36 PM | Yes..!! I've been 'Tested'
Pulse : 62 ..
B-P : 140/80 ..
cholesterol : 112 ..
Body fat : 16% ..
Hearing : Fair ..
Hair : Some ..
Vision : Nearsighted / good w/glasses ..
Teeth : All Original.../...fair ..
Agility : Exceptional ..
Reflexes : Lightning ..
Dimentions : 9" x 2" ..
Stamina : ~ Needs further testing../..undetermined ..
Hormones : Over-flowing../..explosive
Recommendation : Acquire tall, athletic, affectionate female ~ 35 - 60 y/o
p r a c t i c e...!! | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:37:57 PM | You must ALWAYS test before getting intimate with a new partner if you plan to have unprotected sex, ie, IUDs, BC pills etc...
Any sexual health clinic will test for HIV, Hep B, Hep C, Chlamydia and a few other organisms. BOTH of you go to the clinic together and then have dinner! A few days later you will be asked to come back to the clinic for your results. Share them with each other, go have a great dinner, and then go home for some joyous unprotected sex, with the full knowledge that you are safe! | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:40:49 PM | While it is certainly prudent to have an STD check regularly if you are sexually active-waiting on a kiss sounds paranoid, but to each their own. Course, STD testing is only as good as the two partners who are intimately involved. The only way to prevent STD's is to never be sexually active, but if you choose to do so-get tested, use condoms or any other barrier necessary to give you peace of mind whilst you get a piece of A$$!
You have to TRUST your sexual partners, and if you can't even trust them to kiss them-you have bigger issues to concern yourself with than a check-up at the STD clinic. Fear motivates and it can keep people from doing a lot of things. You need to decide what is best for you and proceed from there. I can't say as I blame the woman you wouldn't kiss for being offended- I would have been too. And yes, I make sure I get tested and see my ob/gyn regularly-bottom line-an ounce of PREVENTION is worth a pound of cure. | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:45:23 PM | timenough123: since you mention testing for warts and herpes, it should be noted that these are rarely tested for simply because a large percentage of people already carry herpes simplex virus 1 (the oral type, aka cold sores) and many people have either acquired or carry some form of human papilloma virus (HPV/warts) including the sexual variety (up to 75% of sexually active adults acquire at least one strain of this virus in their lifetime). in many cases HPV (warts) simply leaves the body naturally and a diagnosis does not mean this is a lifelong or chronic condition, in fact in most cases it's not. as for the other diseases you mentioned, most are not part of a standard STD test.
A routine visit would include tests for: Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Candidiasis/yeast (females), Trichomoniasis (females), Bacterial vaginosis (females).
* HIV tests are only done on request.
After taking your history, the nurse may recommend other tests for: Hepatitis A, B, and/or C, Non-gonococcal urethritis (males), Herpes Simplex (typically based on observation of sores or known sexual exposure).
Some STIs are diagnosed by examination only. These include: Yeast balanitis (males), Genital warts (HPV), Molluscum contagiosum, Pubic lice, Scabies. | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:57:02 PM | I dont get tested before getting physical with someone. But I do get tested for all STDs across the board every 6 months along with my normal doctor visits. (I have a couple of other health issues that I go in for regularly). Never contracted anything yet.
I do think its a little paranoid to get tested every single time you have a new partner, though. I mean, whats the dialogue going to be:
"I love you, but let me see your latest medical chart before I can commit"?
LMAO!!
There's a difference between being responsibly safe and being paranoid. And to me, testing before a new partner is paranoid. Unless you have a new partner every couple of weeks or something, or youre sleeping with that really "Classy" lady who walks down dark streets in the middle of the night, youre going to be fine. A test along with your regular yearly physical should be more than enough. | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 6:23:24 PM | I once had a friend who wanted to get tested together before we started "dating"...
I will always trust my gut instinct much more than any medical report or a condom.
And, using a condom is by no means a 100% guarantee of anything safe these days!
If a lady is "high mileage"---even with a clean medical report---I would not check her oil.
Although I never "dated" my friend, I am sure there are others who prefer to get tested first, too.
You should definitely weight the risk and reward as results may vary!
Good luck! | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:09:21 PM | | Gosh, sounds like a lot of men out there are sleeping with anyone who will open their legs... in which case, hell yeah, get tested!! If you're not practicing safe sex, even after getting tested, you may still catch something. So glad that I've abstained... however, as far as kissing... I'm sure that's safe enough without a test. Come on, are you serious? So to answer your question -- this is taking it a bit far. If I was concerned about myself, then I would get tested. If I was concerned about my partner, I would suggest it, but I wouldn't insist on it -- I would play it safe by using condoms or not having sex. PERIOD. Why risk embarrassing someone by asking such a personal question. | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:33:01 AM | Something else you have to remember is that they could also catch something after they had the test. Just because the test is recent doesn't mean that they weren't just with someone else.
Use your judgement, I used to let this worry me because I've only had one partner and it was my husband but many people have "calmed me down" now that I'm out fishing again that I can't stress out over it. | |
|
| Do you get tested before getting physical?
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:49:17 AM | Being tested largely depends on what are your fears. First off you need to understand the range of STI's and their possible transmission routes. It also helps to know the difference between symptomatic and asymptomatic STI's. For example, Herpes can be mostly asymptomatic with periodic symptomatic outbreaks. And of course with that you can then learn which STI's are transferrable during which stages (eg: like herpes being transmittable during outbreaks.
It sounds like you've developed more than a healthy level of paranoia. Before you transfer your fears onto a date, why don't you take the time to do the research and learn not just about the STI's, but also about the more sensitive way to handle the conversations. Seems you're rather sluggish on that one at this time.
 | |
|
Home
login 
