| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:57:00 PM | What would you do if you were curious about dating someone you've been good friends with for years? You know, one of those people you consider very close, like a sibling but it never felt sexual. If you got curious about the chance of chemistry with this person, would you risk your potential friendship to see if it would work out better as something more?
I'm thinking bad news like Izzy and George on Grey's Anatomy. | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:01:35 PM | | its hard to say, if i were you id talk to them and ask them if they felt the same way that you did. if they did id go fo it. and if any thing happend that was starting to end the relationship id talk to them again and just end it on good terms before you ended it bad. but even if that happend the friendship would never be the same. | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:01:49 PM | | nope... risking friendship is always a no-no | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:03:15 PM | | yeah it is, i dated one of my friends and luckily we ended it on good terms though and were still friends but its still a gamble either way | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:34:37 PM | | Friendship is the basis of great relationships. If you are thinking you are ready to settle down with someone then it might be worth the risk. If you are pretty sure you want to keep dating people for a while and not really settle down then it's not worth ruining a friendship. | |
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 6 | |
| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/1/2008 10:56:41 PM |
If you got curious about the chance of chemistry with this person, would you risk your potential friendship to see if it would work out better as something more?
Umm...you dont get curious about chemistry and THEN hope its gonna happen.
Its either there or its not BEFORE. 
And if you attempt to overstep the bounds of your friendship in some vain attempt to build somethings thats just not there...well...wouldnt make you a very good friend now, would it? | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 12:29:25 AM | Go for it OP.
But don't be drunk.
And scope it out first...don't put him on the spot verbally right away.
Grab hold his hand next time you're walking somewhere, and see if it vibrates.
Linger in a hug, and see if he twitches.
Let him catch you looking at him while you're supposed to be watching a flick, and see if he holds your gaze.
Invite him for dinner. Be in the shower when he shows up, and wander out naked, wet and looking for a towel...
his reaction will tell you all you need to know. | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:44:40 AM | | What you are dealing with is the inhibition that comes in families that prevents siblings from being attracted to each other. If that has developed in your relationship, chances are it would need some kind of change in the relationship to allow romantic feelings. A mild curiosity wouldn't do it. You would have to experience some way to look at each other with new eyes. Otherwise what happens is you cross a built-in taboo but then feel awkward and wrong about it, mistaking the resulting lack of zing as something personal. If you want to be smart about it, do some research into the reason why siblings are not attracted to each other. then talk about it together, and see if you want to get romantic or if you think you would be crossing a boundary that works for you and that you want left in place. | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:18:52 AM | If it never felt sexual, but suddenly did..then I'd question what changed. Me, them, or the situation? If the change was real and permanent, then I'd take a risk. If it wasn't...then it might not be a great idea.
If I was just curious about the chance for chemestry, I wouldn't risk a good friendship just to try a science experiment.
then again, if I looked as hot as the OP, the above wouldn't matter...the guy'd say yes even if he was taken :) | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:38:41 AM | Well..all i can do is share a personal story. One of my best friends, with whom i have lived with, crossed 2000 miles with, a continent and country, untold shared heart aches, shared a 35 year history all the way from pubescence, and COMPELLING and mutual "chemistry"....we have chosen to not risk an amazing friendship...for what may be fleeting flash in the pan.
I danced with her..again saturday night. Its been two years. And there are two failed marriages between us, intellectual, spiritual, social commonalities transcending usual connections.
I sense..if it is to be, it will. I will force it not..not out of curiosity, not out of hunger or immediate horny need, not out of "it just feels right", and certainly not out of pity or pain. And..she is very aware...as i am...of each others feelings.
How can i say it...nowadays, anyone can bump uglies. And they do....
but to refrain for a nobler purpose...a friendship beyond understanding...
...does this sound tragicomic or what? Naahh, its not like that at all... | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:48:52 AM | Heck yeah.. but, then again, I'm crazy IF you're REALLY friends, It'll be ok.   | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:55:09 AM | Yep, I'd do it.......in fact I am doing it.
We've been dating for a couple of years now & we're friends for the 7 years prior. Of course, there was already a bit of 'chemistry' there. The majority of women I've had relationshipw with were friends before the romance......& most remain so to this day.
It does work for some people...... | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:09:37 AM | | I feel like it's better to find out for sure instead of always wondering what could have been. | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:14:15 AM | OMG! DONT DO IT!
I totally ruined a great friendship because of it...wasnt worth the loss....... | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:19:49 AM | I would give it a shot. Most long lasting relationships start out as a good friendship first. Sometimes moving too far too fast really messes things up.
Ed | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:25:08 AM | | I believe most people on the planet because their brains lack the proper nutrients should wait to receive their genitals from O-sophi-Gus the penis and vagina fairy! If you say this guy is more like a brother because of the longevity of your friendship than basically you are comitting psychological incest on your own molecules and I am banking the spermatazoa that you willnot and I mean willknot feel too great about genital slapping hymns later. If you are desperate to have sex then go play with yourself till you are old enough to know you don't take your body as a domino board or a crap shoot. Come on kid this is an accident waiting to dribble and you already know the outcome so stop beating your bush with the income. What turnip truck of lack of decency and respect for your own molecules does someone who thinks this is okay..... ? You want to experiment and maybe just maybe this guy is and always has been enamored ... there is more than your genitals in this equation, this guy you want to experiment on may actually be a XY chromatic housing that has ah ah what do they call them ,"FEELINGS". You better grow up a wee bit before you play slinky the wonderful toy or you are destined for alot of hard and heart achin kid. | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:52:38 AM | It is fabulous in theory, but unfortunately, it has never worked. I would have rather kept the friendship.  | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:58:30 AM | Well been there and done that after a 12 year friendship, lasted almost 18 mos, now we are friendly but it certainly changed everything.
Make sure you are sure of all the possibilities and be ready to loose your friend in the end.
I am one of the lucky ones, we still talk but no longer hang out. | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:11:20 AM | What worries me though is you are thinking Grey's Anatomy is like real life; yikes.
Just spend time together alone with him and see what happens. Not a big deal. I think it would be fine. | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:17:26 AM | If you know the person well enough to agree that no matter what happens you stay friends, the worst scenario is that for a brief time you feel somewhat awkward if things work out. On the other hand, if you know that person well enough you should also consider whether they have habits that are cute or quaint in a friend that would drive you crazy in a significant other.
Kyn and GTO make good points, perhaps the chemistry was there but you chose to ignore it to the extent that you failed to recgonize it? If there truly was no chemistry you would not be capable of manufacturing it and pursuing things would probably be highly embarassing and nothing more. If you are good friends with the guy why don't you just ask him if he has ever though of you two as a couple? | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:22:11 AM | I'm enjoying how it's pretty much 50/50 answers. I can't say so much like I consider him a brother, but rather I respect him greatly as a person and can talk about a lot of things with him that normally a guy and girl not dating couldn't.
We've for the most part stayed out of each others bubbles so that any idea of chemistry is unknown, we usually both are already dating someone and are both very respectful of our s/o's so any flirting that could be done is strictly prohibited on both our parts. We have had our moments alone though and it's right on the border, we flirt but make sure it's not enough so that we could make anything awkward or questionable.
I think I'll just give it time and see if my curiosity remains or not. I probably will not though because he will be moving away for University again in the fall and the reason he broke up with his last gf (who was GORGEOUS) was because he was leaving for school. | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:23:58 AM | | This question makes me think of the movie Out of Africa, which was based on a true story, that relationship worked in it's way but ultimately failed when they both met someone else they preferred to be with. | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:45:26 AM | | If the circumstances are as you say, perhaps you are better off keeping your curiosity tamped down until you are both going to be in the same place at the same time, i.e. when you are both finished with school. If he is the right guy, things will work out so that you are available at the same time and at the right time in your lives. | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:07:00 AM |
You know, one of those people you consider very close, like a sibling but it never felt sexual. If you got curious about the chance of chemistry with this person, ....
Chemistry is either there or it isn't. You've already said it isn't when you claimed you've never felt anything sexual towards this guy..... so my opie is to back off and remain buds.
I'm questioning why you'd want to boff him anyway...... If there's no attraction.......
What's the story dutchie? | |
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| Would you do it?
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:18:10 PM |
What's the story dutchie? I've always wondered about uber-cute girls being on this site, when they could have any guy they wanted IRL. Maybe it's some amped-up need for attention. | |
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