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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:01:35 PM | I have been chatting with a man, who will not give me his phone number, nor will he call me, although I have given him my home and cell numbers numerous times. I even offered to call him, if he didn't have long distance on his phone. My 26-year-0ld son thinks he might be married or living with someone, and that is why he won't give me his number or call me. I wrote him and told him of my son's concern. This man also wanted to stay with me in my home, but my son is very protective of me, so he thought it would be better for him to stay in a hotel.
This was his response, "Well I wonder why he would say that..and the fact he thinks its not wise I stay with you if I were to visit..i went thru a relationship before where siblings ruled the roost..i won't do that again..i'm to old for that s_ _ _ _."
Why won't he give me his phone number, and what should I do now?
Thanks for all the help you can give me. | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:04:06 PM | If he won't give you his phone number, and won't tell you why - he's already hiding crap from you. If this doesn't scare you away nothing will. What else is he going to lie about? He's totally married.
It's a good thing you've got a son to look out for you. I'd trust his instincts. | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:04:41 PM | | Psssst ..... Your son is right , sorry but he is hiding something . I smell a rat and deep down so do you or you wouldnt be questioning it !!! Get rid and dont waste your time | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:05:41 PM | | maybe he's writing from jail cell number nine ... | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:09:05 PM | He either has too many suspicions, too many issues or too much of a wife.
Possibly all three.
I don't often say this... but cut him loose.
If he were doing a better job of communicating, I might be a bit slower to reach that conclusion... but I am not getting a sense of that from your OP. You DID ask him what his phoning issue was, didn't you???
You're also being a bit passive here... why write him and tell him your son's concern. It is YOUR concern too, right? | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 6 | |
| Phone numbers
Posted: 7/2/2008 2:09:17 PM | | PSSSSSSTTTTTT.....be vewy, vewy gwateful...you have a son who has good instincts that something seems amiss. Listen to him. | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:09:57 PM | I think if you are at the point of talking on the phone, you should have each other's number. If he refuses, then he is definitely hiding something.
Also, it's very odd that he wants to stay with you when you haven't even met, yet. That's just not right. If he's far away, and this is a first meeting, he needs to get a hotel.
Your son seems to make good sense, and I think this guy already doesn't like him due to the fact that he's helping you to make sound, cautious decisions.
So far that makes three HUGE flags, and you haven't even met the guy. My advice would be to tell him thanks but you aren't interested, just block him on here, and don't take his calls (though that might be hard since he's got your number, but you don't have his number to block). This guy not only sounds crooked, but possibly dangerous. | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:10:52 PM | Your son is VERY right.
Ditch the guy before it goes any further.
Surely your instinct would tell you that? | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:12:03 PM | I see red flags waving everywhere....
I agree with your son...this guy is hiding something.
He wants to stay at your home yet he won't call nor give u his number, something is not right about that...
Maybe u should have told him your too old for his phone game s h i t...ugh
If it were me I would end it asap...your choice though, good luck to you. | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:12:58 PM | Listen to your son on this one.
A man whom you never met wants to stay in your home, yet he won't give you his phone number? That reeks of many things, and none smell good.
Apparently, he is already out to control you, as well. I have sons and the youngest one has either lived nearby or with me during my dating "career." Whenever he has expressed concern and I expressed that concern to the man in question, the man has ALWAYS responded that he understood my son's position and his care for his mother.
If a man didn't say that, he would be out, immediately.
If it were me, which is the only advice that any of us can give, I would tell the guy to forget about it. He not only needs to respect you by giving you a phone number and by staying in a motel when he comes, he needs to respect your son's concern. | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:19:43 PM | | Don't let him waste any more of your time. Move on. | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:19:52 PM | Like the movie says from Forest Gump !! " Life is like a box of chocalates ya never know whatcha gonna get" Run Forest, Run....  | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:22:44 PM | | Well this is easy say nice chatting but i am not wasting any more time on someone who doesnt want a relationship. NEXT. | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:24:08 PM | | Simply LISTEN to your instincts! | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:24:35 PM | | Don't waste anymore time on someone who isn't polite enough to offer up his phone number but wants to stay in your home... Really, would you let anyone else do this? There are better catches than this... | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:31:07 PM | Maybe your son is right, maybe he's not who knows. Ask the guy though if he thinks your son is wrong then what is the reason because him hiding it doesn't dissuade your son's point at all.
I don't understand why guys do this, my mom did the whole online dating from when I was like 12 until she finally met a great guy when I was 20. Do they not understand us kids can see right through anything. I was able to sniff out any of the questionable guys pretty quick and those were usually the ones that weren't around too long.
As for the rest of what he said, what he's too old to be with someone who has family members that care about them. If this is the guys attitude your son has plenty of reason to be concerned about this guy.
What should you do, move on and find a guy your son will trust.
Edit: Thats another good point that someone else brought up, he's comfortable enough to propose him staying in your home but somehow not alright with you having his number?!?! A little more information is needed than that if I were to let some girl I don't know even step foot in my place, let alone stay there. | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:34:24 PM | | your son is the wiser one on this matter thats for sure... | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:39:58 PM | Well, I find it odd he doesn't want to give you his number, and then, after you expressed your son's concern he got defensive. Sounds to me like he's hiding something or he has major trust issues-but ironically, he expects to meet and stay at your place. BLAH!
I would tell him to have a nice day and move along to someone who isn't so evasive and secretive. He just sounds too creepy and weird to me. | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:42:45 PM | Yes, he's married or living with someone at the very least. He's trying to control you and manipulate you by making your son look like he's the one that is being unreasonable. If he were being honest then he would have at least attempted to address all of the concerns in a civil and respectable manner instead of trying to make you feel like you're letting your son rule your life.
Of course he can't stay at a hotel near you... that might show up on his credit card statement and his wife will find out. | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 2:48:58 PM | | You raised a smart young man. If he wont give the phone number or wont call you; Vegas odds are he's married.. or at least deeply involved in another relationship. Best advice is cut him loose. You deserve better. | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 10:30:02 AM | mystic
By all means trust your son!! Sometimes you cant see the forest for the trees but someone on the outside can! When my son met my ex husband for the first time he told me that he thought that something wasnt right. I obviouslly ignored him and lo and behold 6 yrs later I had to admit that he was right. Not only are grown children good for steering cleare of bad mistakes, so are good friends! | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 10:38:29 AM | | If I couldn't even speak with him on the phone , he DAMNNNNNNNN sure wouldnt be visiting me in my home!!!! PLAY SAFE...NOT CRAZY! | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 10:48:40 AM | | look whos the parent you are your son?tell your son to mind his own buisness sounds creepy to me whats even more creepy you listen.look tell him you want his number or go to his house if he makes up stuff then tell him bye.alot of times women think that men have this agenda i gave him my number but he will not call,dont be so needy and he problaby will call. | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 10:55:18 AM |
i went thru a relationship before where siblings ruled the roost..i won't do that again
I would tell him that you don't have any brothers or sisters living with you, and that you and your son have different mothers. Next. | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 6:24:16 PM | something bout that sure sounds  to me, i'd say listen to your son on this one, and trust your instincts. have u thought bout your safety, he may be married or livin with someone, or he may not be.id drop him like a bad habbit. it does sound controlling to me, i wouldnt give him any more of my time there is something there that he is hiding. he may be abusive, or worse, u just never know. you're lucky u have your son protecting u, listn to him. good luck. | |
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