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 capricorn40
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 1
Moving inPage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
By the time most of use reach the magic age of "over 45" we pretty much have our own home and space and way of life.
What would make someone of our age group leave our homes and move in with someone else.
I personally can't see myself giving up my large home to move into someone elses.
I'm curious to why anyone would move out of their place to live with someone else.
Ladies? Guys?
 saggy ass and saggy tits
Joined: 5/22/2008
Msg: 2
Moving in
Posted: 7/2/2008 3:06:42 PM
if you really wanted to move in with someone, im sure there would be a solution
either she can move in or both sell houses and buy one together.
to me perfect solution you have your house i have mine, we spend time in each others residence as we like
 Song Sparrow
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 3
Moving in
Posted: 7/2/2008 3:08:23 PM
That's a tough one , especially the longer we stay single in our own homes . It would depend on the new partner. Maybe their place is more appealing or maybe on our new adventure together we may want to get a new place. As we reach retirement we have more options on where we want to live. Like the country or on the lake where commuting to a job is not an issue. Leave your thoughts open for this one is what I say.
 breath~
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 4
Moving in
Posted: 7/2/2008 3:16:50 PM
Why join houses? Well, love.... and the decision to merge households because of that love... might be the reason! Ya think?


I personally can't see myself giving up my large home to move into someone elses.
Okay,let's say you have love and a desire to be together.... now maybe combining resources into her smaller home, make it "ours", would be a wise move in these economic times! Costs more to run a "large home".
OR... maybe her home is larger, and you seem to like large homes!


I'm curious to why anyone would move out of their place to live with someone else.
Back to that love reason again.

It's something that just has to be decided between the 2 people.... sooooooooo many variables are involved.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 5
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History
Moving in
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:58:42 PM
Well, I did it a while ago. Moved out of my place to live with another woman and her kids...
Never again...
Moved out again....

I learned a few things...
If the person you move in with, was living there with a past lover/partner. It somehow doesn't feel 'right'. Especially the bedroom.
It is best if you both move and find a new place together if you can...
It just seems like no matter what you do, none of the furniture fits... either way...
Would I move in with a woman again? Yes....
But we have to do it on equal terms... There's no "This is my..." discussions...
They should all be "These are our..." discussions...
 Paumanok
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 6
Moving in
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:17:22 PM
I can't live in a big house alone. It feels like someone is missing. I can only handle small apartments and hotel rooms. I will build a shack big enough for me, but to be in a house that wasn't a home would be too damn lonely. When I rent a house or even a two bedroom apartment it depresses me. Too much emptiness where there should be a family.
 gemstar2000
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 7
Moving in
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:11:53 PM
Moving in together is a huge step, and hopefully one that's made because the two people are in love and want to be together. I enjoy my privacy, and have gotten used to having my own place, but with the right person, I'd consider it. It would probably have to be a loooooong courtship though, to reach that level of commitment.
 shimbo
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 8
Moving in
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:36:29 AM

What would make someone of our age group leave our homes and move in with someone else.


A fire, most likely.
A flood.
Power outage.
Free room & board.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 9
Moving in
Posted: 7/3/2008 2:07:14 AM
A house has objects in it that make your life more enjoyable..love makes your life so much more ...why would you want to wake up to an empty pillow vs the face of the person you love?
 Paumanok
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 10
Moving in
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:28:53 AM
Pillows don't have morning breath. But I see your point.
 kedstianana
Joined: 6/11/2008
Msg: 11
Moving in
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:21:03 AM
I would never ask a man to move in with me or vice/versa if there wasn't a deep commitment and love involved in the relationship. Seems like it would be a no-brainer when you reached that point in your relationship, both should discuss the options and make a decision that both can live with, yours/mine or our new home. From past experience it is so easy to say "this is my house, so the decision is mine" Tried as hard as I could but every once in a while I'd let these words slip out of my mouth when I was set on doing something that I wanted to do or if he did something I didn't like. Creates to much potential for conflict in the relationship.
 SunnyTexas
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 12
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History
Moving in
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:08:56 AM
That's a hard one. I've pretty much settled into apartment living, even though I'm a country girl at heart. If I met the right man....maybe I'd buy a house, but I'd rather marry and have a prenup in place regarding residence.

Never again will I live with a man in a house he built. It wasn't pleasant making a home, working hard on decorating and improvements, cleaning and caring for home for 22 years, then having to leave it, cuz the law said so. It was just too devastating, even though I was paid for my half of it.

I couldn't endure it again. I'll know better next go 'round.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 13
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History
Moving in
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:44:12 AM
For *me* it's simple enough: if I'm in love, I want to spend my time *with* them rather than traveling to and from being with them. I've never had anyone move in here, but that seems to be happening now, and it feels fine: clearing out space for him, planning for making extra space, etc. But it was just as easy a few years ago to leave this space with a few belongings and move to NYC to be with someone I loved. He was an actor, and there was never any question of leaving the city, so I moved into a rent-stabilized apt that he'd shared with his ex-wife. No real difficulties there. I suspect that had he lived longer, I'd have ended up on the lease.

I think in this, as with everything else, what happens is going to depend on the two peeps involved, and their histories.


 MeereKat
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 14
Moving in
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:53:28 AM
Not having all the Voluminous Baggage to transport ..
I'd be Happy to relocate TO someone .. that would take the time to get to know me...
..and..
Maybe even discover that Distance has Very little bearing on 'Falling-In-Love'...!!!
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 15
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Moving in
Posted: 7/3/2008 8:46:43 PM
OP I agree with your opening post. I don't get it either. The only reason I can think for living with someone even if you love them is to save money. I don't think it would be worth it though.

I can love someone if they maintain their own home, but if they want to get co dependant and actually move in with me, then we have a problem. We aren't going to be starting a family so why do so many people feel the need to breath the same air 24/7. Empty pillow is what I want to see thanks.
 bearwoman1959
Joined: 8/25/2006
Msg: 16
Moving in
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:12:13 AM
I lived with a guy with my two kids and his two kids for a couple of years. I have to admit that a big part of it was the fact that my ex was hanging around the neighborhood(he was a bum, literally), and he'd threatened to kill me, plus my job didn't pay enough for the house payment and everything else. I really did care for this guy,and he was good to me and the kids for awhile, but then he made the mistake of yelling and belittling me in front of my children. I now live with my son and mother in her house, which she bought when I had no where else to go. She's elderly and having some trouble getting around and remembering things now, so we help each other out. I really have no desire to live with another man, but miracles do happen. I try to be optimistic, but it ain't lookin' good. It's nice not having to cook unless I feel like it and watch what I want on TV, though I don't watch that much. No ESPN, I love it!!!
 AgelessWonder
Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 17
Moving in
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:58:23 AM

I can love someone if they maintain their own home, but if they want to get co dependant and actually move in with me, then we have a problem. We aren't going to be starting a family so why do so many people feel the need to breath the same air 24/7. Empty pillow is what I want to see thanks.


Geezeeee co-dependant.. that is your opinion, but if 2 people love each other and want to live together, I don't see how it is co-dependant.. To each their own. You could be co-dependant and live in separate houses, lol

JMO
 Chocolatebrowne
Joined: 1/19/2006
Msg: 18
Moving in
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:07:16 AM
Moraima, the more I see out here, the more I am starting to feel EXACTLY like you do.....I don't know if that's good or bad.....I just know it "is..."
 texasbaby
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 19
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History
Moving in
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:37:15 AM
There was a family in the town where I grew up, they lived in two houses, side by side with a common driveway. Considering my life now, it seems like a great solution ~ provided I didn't have to clean both houses, of course!

tb
 wonderingoutloud
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 20
Moving in
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:04:16 AM
Depends on if this is just "living together" or "marriage". If just living together I would certainly keep my own place and spend time at both or live in one but never get rid of my own due to legal issues. If it is a "marriage" or legally binding union of some kind, I would prefer to sell both homes and get a new place that would be just ours, no memories, no ghosts, no ex's stuff. Too many people are OCD and they like their things in exactly the same places and exactly the same way they are and do not want anyone moving in and changing things around or redecorating.
 ndulj
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 21
Moving in
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:20:13 AM
Because the desire to see their face the first thing everyday and knowing that at the end of that day it will be those arms that hold you is sometimes all that matters.

I think its called love.
 winernotreally
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 22
Moving in
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:29:06 AM
For me, I think 'visiting' is the best solution. 2days my place, 2days his place...then 3 days to do what you will and want.

The only reason I could come up with for moving in together would be financial...hopefully, that doesn't end up being the ONLY reason to stay together.

I just recently moved and, believe me, its a royal pain in the arse! Is there a place that I could donate those 10 cans of WD-40?
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 23
Moving in
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:33:12 AM
I am really in shock with the answers here....I love being with someone, the soft touches as they go by...going to the grocery store and finding something you know they will love, if one person gets up they just know if the other one wants a drink without having to asking. Having them walk thru the door and it was a line to met them, the kids, the pets and then I would get the biggest kiss...he said no matter what kind of day he had having that many in line to tell him hello when he got home was priceless! The spooning in bed at night, the cuddling on the sofa during a movie, the nonstop foreplay where heated looks turn you on as much as a touch. I guess some of us where meant to share lives and others live alone. Maybe POF need to have this as a category...LTR with separate housing?
 sam-spade
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 24
Moving in
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:32:42 AM
I don't believe in it. At most, it would be one week at my place, the next at hers. If there came a time when we really wanted to move in, I'd rent mine out, she'd rent her's out, and we'd get a place that would be OURS.

Keeping your own place allows you to keep the equity growing without the financial risks so everyone is happy. If you're still together when your 65, then sell everything and move the the carib!
 The Artful Codger
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 25
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Moving in
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:40:17 PM

I'm curious to why anyone would move out of their place to live with someone else.

If one plus one equaled one, why wouldn't we co-habitate?
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