| condoms
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:54:37 PM | I'm curious and want to hear some opinions on this....
You hear so many men and women talk like they have safe sex but so often men will go soft (lose erection) when it comes to using condoms.
Is it possible they are being manipulative or is this a real problem many men face? How would you remedy this? different brand? size?
How often do the women say "Oh well, let's forget about the condom"?
How many people would say " Umm, let's walk to the store for some chocolate ice cream instead"?
And the interesting question: How many people (men and women) would have oral sex if their partner didn't want to or couldn't have safer sex? | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 6:50:57 PM | I've never said "forget the condom" - you can't reward behavior like this!
Of course you can do things to get things going again...but basically the guy should practice putting on condoms himself (on his own time!) so he can do it faster and so he gets used to that "pause in the action". It's his responsibility, ultimately, to make it work. | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 6:52:25 PM | | It's not being manipulative, it really happens. It is, however, a mental thing, not so much a physical one. I didn't have the problem until this one girl who was so unsexual that trying to have sex with her was a stressful event, and any distraction was like "($(*&#dammit!!!" and I'd lose the erection. If the girl is enthusiastic and there's good chemistry going on, and she helps putting it on (making it a foreplay-like experience), that's totally different. | |
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Posted: 7/2/2008 6:59:07 PM | | It's true that some men lose their erection when they try to put on a condom. I agree that practising is the best way to learn how to stay hard. If a guy can learn to masturbate with a condom on, he's ready to go. In terms of oral sex, people can make their decision based on risk. After all, what's the most likely STI you're going to get? Herpes (HSV-1), which is not the end of the world. HSV-1 from unprotected oral sex with someone who's had cold sores tends to be less painful and recur less frequently. One can get chlamydia or gonorrhea in the throat, but antibiotics will cure it. It is difficult to get HIV through unprotected oral sex unless there is a pre-existing infection like syphilis. So, all in all, I guess you can decide if you're OK with unprotected oral sex. If you're not, it's going to be flavoured condoms or a dental dam (on the vulva or anus)...or ice cream. | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 5 | |
| condoms
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:54:55 PM | Keep in mind, the most sensual organ in the human body is the brain. Sometimes when focus is shifted...and it's done under the auspices of urgency...yeah, your focus shifts a lot.
My suggestion is that girls learn to share...or even take control of helping get it on him...after all, you know when you are getting to that point in time...learn to open, place and unroll.
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Posted: 7/3/2008 7:07:27 PM | a boyfriend once told me that he thought that it was so inconsiderate of me to ask him to wear a condom when I had run out of birthcontrol and was in between doctors when my insurance dropped. I reasoned that he'd only have to see a cashier. She or he would not need to fondle his goods and write notes about it prior to his purchase. If I were to go to a clinic, some stranger would know too many intimate details about me that I refused to go. Im actually quite modest and prefer dealing with the same doctor time after time...call me crazy if you will.
I thought his response to me was inconsiderate.
Protection is a must for pregnancy sake if both couples are tested as clear, or for possible STDs. If you dont have on a raincoat, you shouldnt be thinking you have a chance at using the slip n' slide. (hey remember those things when you were a kid in the backyard? man those were fun!) | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 7:16:17 PM | yes its a real problem......condoms are necessary......BUT they do ruin the moment and also significantly reduce how good sex feels........but you still need to use them.
so, if your guy is having problems with it, make sure you are spending plenty of time giving him oral to get him rock solid, and you can put the condom on for him during oral.
Is it possible they are being manipulative or is this a real problem many men face? How would you remedy this? different brand? size?
oral sex is not any safer.........better for both of you to get a standard STD test before having sex at all.......theyre cheap and only take a few days to get the results.
And the interesting question: How many people (men and women) would have oral sex if their partner didn't want to or couldn't have safer sex? | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 7:17:23 PM |
How many people (men and women) would have oral sex if their partner didn't want to or couldn't have safer sex?
The stupid part of that is that if you don't have a condom for oral, you might as well, not bother for intercourse.... | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 7:17:58 PM | I will not have sex if he refuses to use a condom..........that is so childish. Losing sensativity...........PFFT!!!!!! nonsence. Like someone above said......its all in the brain. I put the condom on with my mouth during forplay. And the play continues......he will stay hard if the mood is right and the feelings are good.........
I don´t see why anyone would want to risk an unwanted pregnancy or an STD........
Its about making it fun................and HOTT!!!!!!! | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 7:53:38 PM | they are all different (the rubbers i mean) keep experimenting with brands and types.(thin, ribbed, lubed, warming lube etc) some brands are too tight which cuts down on the sensitivity and circulation -no circulation -well you know what happans when there is limited blood flow.
on the plus side cutting down on the sensitivity makes you last a lot longer. being socked up gives you both a better chance for a happy ending  | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 8:28:22 PM | | ALWASE USE ONE if the guy can't keep it up for you hes probobly gay and you should find a new one!!! | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 9:20:01 PM | OP, Stick with the "no glove, no love" rule. There are no excuses.
As some of the ladies above suggested, if your partner starts to wither, keep the mood fun.
(I've read that a lot of women leave their guy hanging.)
Don't leave him hanging. Try to reawaken the...sleeping giant...with a different...touch.
I think it's important for couples to take the time to learn each other's bodies, and to talk about their turn ons.
There's more than one way to...you know...? 
Play safely.
afishcalledjack | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 10:58:53 PM | | I've experienced this issue many times and I'm not sure what causes it - whether it's the break in action, the condom itself or whether, and this is what I think, they put a "rod-be-gone" chemical on the inside. It's caused some issues on both sides - I feel bad for not keeping it going and she thinks I'm not that attracted to her. What we do from there depends on the mood. | |
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Posted: 7/3/2008 11:17:49 PM | | hmmmmmm if he goes soft in a condom its a good indicator he never uses them......which is just all around bad...no glove no love...simple as that | |
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Posted: 7/4/2008 3:30:59 AM |
The stupid part of that is that if you don't have a condom for oral, you might as well, not bother for intercourse....
Its hardly the same. There is vastly less risk of contracting an STI from oral and zero risk of pregnancy.
Has anyone had oral with a condom on? seems a bit odd to me... | |
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| condoms
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:43:46 AM | | Men who don't want to use a condom are not being manipulitive, there is a huge difference in sensation. Put saran wrap over your mouth and see if kissing feels any different. Unless you're in a LTR with a trusted partner though, you gotta do it. I would hope not many women would use oral on a guy who declines to be safe. | |
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Posted: 7/4/2008 7:46:37 AM | | i hate the condom , but in todats world with all those nasty STD's Aids ... etc , their necessary ,, if ur partner goes soft from condoms ,, slide a beaded****ring over the condon ,, will prevent it sliding off ,, keeps me steel hard !!!! | |
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Posted: 7/4/2008 8:13:56 AM |
Has anyone had oral with a condom on? seems a bit odd to me...
Yes, they actually make flavored condoms, and you can indeed catch STD'S from oral copulation without the benefit of a barrier. Was it a bit odd-yep-but it was definitely safer sex. Do I enjoy giving a man oral with a rubber no-not so much-but if I don't know him, it's certainly a wise decision to make, I mean he didn't seem to mind, so I guess I shouldn't have either. | |
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| condoms
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:26:52 AM | Patarey-msg 9, I have to say that a woman that knows how to interact during sex with use of a condom does make the experience much more enjoyable. I will add that while use of a condom will help prevent most STD’s, it is not full proof. Unfortunately, the STD’s that are not curable are the one’s that can still be contracted even though a condom was used. I think the term Safe Sex is a contradiction in terms. Prior testing, condoms, and monogamy or exclusiveness are all necessary in an attempt to reduce your chances of getting something.
Is it possible they are being manipulative or is this a real problem many men face? How would you remedy this? different brand? size? I feel manipulation is a small part of it. It is most likely sensitivity, and the ability of the two people to not allow the use of a condom to interfere with the moment, but make it part of the experience. When I read what Patarey had said about using her mouth to place a condom on. Wow, reminds me of some past relationships when the woman was so good at it, I didn’t even know I had a condom on. I’m not kidding. Don’t leave all the responsibility of the condom up to the man. It takes two to tango, and one has to lead the dance. | |
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Posted: 7/4/2008 8:35:13 AM | | You know, its not always the guy who doesn't want to use the condom. There are many women out there who don't want to use it either or just don't care either way. | |
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| condoms
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:10:09 AM | most people lack self confidence when it comes to sex, the condum is just an Excuse. There is more then one way to please your partner. how many people will read this and say not me. buttonsone1, you have it right girl.
sorry guys stop making excuses and find another way of pleasing her, instead of running away. Stop blaming the condum its you, how many have heard me say " do we have to, it just doesn't feel right. | |
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Posted: 7/8/2008 4:13:54 AM | most people lack self confidence when it comes to sex, the condum is just an Excuse. There is more then one way to please your partner. how many people will read this and say not me. buttonsone1, you have it right girl.
sorry guys stop making excuses and find another way of pleasing her, instead of running away. Stop blaming the condum its you, how many have heard them say " do we have to, it just doesn't feel right.
should have read, how many have heard them say. | |
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Posted: 7/8/2008 4:27:03 AM | Me & my girl practise safe Sex !!! I always use Condoms, my girl has had her kids & does'nt want any more. as for me going Soft ? No Way !!! I'm still Erect !!! when i put a condom on, some of the condoms I use, feel very tight on me,Im not bragging either, im just above the average, but are they the family Planning giving me all the same size ? after sex, i alwys have a mark at the base of my p***s ,but it soon goes away, In fact they have helped me prolong our Sex , I use varoius varieties of condoms, I have them FREE !!! From the Family Planing.
As for oral sex, my girl will only give me oral when I'm wearing a flavoured condom Chocolate is her favourite
Id like to know what it would be like with out condom though !
I hope this helps ???
Tim | |
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Posted: 7/8/2008 4:29:19 AM | Condoms are like lidocaine for most men. There is no sensation other than pressure. This deprives men of most of the sensitivity, especially where there are nerve bundles etc...personally I cant use them. For my relationships, I only sleep with someone when theres a connection and its possibly going somewhere, and then we both agree to test out at an STD clinic.
Modern IUDs that deliver low dose progesterone locally have a high rating from birth control centers. Although it again puts the burden on the female partner, the diaphragm and spermicidal gels are a viable option as well, along with more creative sex.
I wish they would invent a condom that gave me a modicum of pleasure. Although its been a noble, selfless task to make love without much pleasure, at the end of the day, if you want to feel close, both people need to be experiencing something great.
Tim above...works for him. I hope at 51 its still gonna work for ya Tim. Things need a tad more stimulation....but its interesting to here that it doesnt bother him and he still enjoys sex with them. I guess all men are different. But you can practice entirely safe sex withouit a condom if you both test at an STD clinic before you have sex. I know its contrived but its better than HIV, Hep C, Mollusca contagiosum, Herpes, Chlamydia, HPV and a few others you havent heard of.
STD clinic before sex! You can both go celebrate your negative results a week later with dinner and romance, knowing you are safe. | |
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Posted: 7/8/2008 6:00:30 AM | | the statment that you don't get as much feeling is true BUT when you are with a woman and she turns you on by just being with her( holding her hand we will say )and you get hard, where does the sensitivity in your penis com into play. Your brains control, not the other way around | |
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