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 Nikkisyxx
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 1
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Best way to open a conversation onlinePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Out of interest, what's the best way to open a conversation here online. I've just been looking at profiles and sending messages that make some comment and try to find some common ground. Sometimes I get responses and sometimes I don't. What's the best way to open in you opinion ladies?
 chandlers wish
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 2
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Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/3/2008 3:18:47 AM
Either quirky, funny , amusing, or definately, no "hi, how's your day"...

Something that makes it stand out from the normal line, also bad is " you look really great love your photo" um, did you read the profile..?

Ok, i don't have one, granted but the point is, be yourself off course, but be a bit different..

No pretense, just open the line with something different, fun, laughable, or else, nice.
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 3
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/3/2008 3:27:01 AM
Comment on something in their profile. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. Make sure that the comment makes sense, isn't a compliment on a body part (smile is ok--your boobs are big, nice, is not), and make sure that if she does decide to go look at your profile, it has a good picture, nothing derogatory about other women...you know, a profile that a woman will look at and say hey, he sounds interesting. There's nothing worse than getting emails from someone and you go look at their profile and wonder what the heck is going on with them.

Keep fishing...
 CrAzY__BoY
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 4
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/3/2008 6:38:46 PM
i got 1 for you works 4 me

hubba hubba damm!! girl you are fine wher did you bye them eyes from cos i never seen any thing so beautiful well i hope we can send some messages to eacth other and then i will ask for your msn and then i can start to chat to up lol well hope you like what ya see on me pro if u look at it that is lol
jamie x x x

hey i no i cant speel to but some girls fined it funny lol well i do i will shut up now lol
 fly0nthewall
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 5
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/3/2008 6:47:25 PM
Yikes. I really hope Fosters ice wasn't serious.
Regardless... OP - don't follow that advice. If you do, I have a feeling we're going to see one of the daily "Why was my first email read/deleted?" or "Why don't women respond?" threads.

Follow the lead on her own profile. If she's the type of person who pays special attention to spelling and grammar on her own profile, you're likely to get a more serious read if you write legibly. I'm much more likely to respond thoughtfully to someone who asks a question or refers to a common interest rather than a simple "hello", especially if his own profile is rather sparse. Granted, I'm one of the ones who at least politely responds to everyone who writes. Keep in mind that not everyone responds if they're not interested. Too many women (and men, too) have fallen victim to abusive and rude correspondence if they reject someone, even if it's politely done.
 whitefether
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 6
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Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/3/2008 7:52:51 PM
I am not sure the best way to Start, but I can definitely say something that is a big turnoff to me. That is for someone to call me Baby, Darlin, Sweetie, anything like that. It suggests a familiarity that is not there.

Sherry
 MP31971
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 7
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/3/2008 8:10:15 PM

definately, no "hi, how's your day"...

Why doesn't that work?

IMO it shows concern of how you are.
 BBWMermaid
Joined: 7/1/2007
Msg: 8
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/3/2008 8:25:31 PM
To me the best opener is telling her why you felt compelled to contact her. Is it something in her picture - her smile, her eyes, the colour of her hair? Let her know what you think is attractive about her. Don't stop there i.e. don't just talk about the physical as hopefully it was her picture in combination with something in her profile. What intrigued you or what do you have in common with her? Do you work in a similar profession? Do you share her interests? Do you meet any or all of her requirements in a partner?

Show your sense of humor and your creativity and by all means, spell check your email.

If you spend a few minutes to write something meaningful, it increases your chances significantly of getting a response.
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 9
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/3/2008 8:29:24 PM
Always comment on the profile before the pictures. It's pretty much a given online that if you're contacting someone and opening a conversation, you were physically attracted to them. As a guy, if you want to stand out and make it clear you're not a player, just looking for sex, etc - last thing you want to do is comment on the photos but not the profile.

Choose something from that and end the message with a question about something from the profile.

But also, accept that some people if not interested will just not bother to respond regardless of what you do for many different reasons.
 rutheright14me
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 10
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:58:39 AM
I personally like when guys tell me a little about themselves...this seems to break the ice for me...I don't like it when guys just write "hey want to chat" or something along those lines...you need to give the person something to work with.
 TwinklePops
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 11
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:04:50 AM

definately, no "hi, how's your day"...

Why doesn't that work?

IMO it shows concern of how you are.


Because we've probably seen it about 20 times already that day! Also don't use "hi" or "hi fancy a chat".

You are better off, talking about yourself a bit, or picking out familiar things that you saw in the profile, that you have in common.
 TravelingHomebody
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 12
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Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:54:15 AM
Pick out something in her profile and start with that.

I see you like X. I like X too (give example). Tell me more about your love for X.

This way you show that you read her profile, you tell her something about you that will likely be of interest to her, and you ask her a question about something that you already know she's interested in and thus likely to want to talk about.

"I see in your profile that you like The Dead Milkmen. I saw them in concert in 1988 and it was a blast! I have to say 'Stewart' is their best song, but 'Punk Rock Girl' is a close second. What's your favorite?"
 Bellydanza
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 13
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:27:26 AM
Ask them a question about their profile. One of their interests or something in it that stood out.

Yesterday a guy asked me about being a Raider fan. I wasn't interested in him, but I did respond to his email because I realized he'd taken the time to read my profile and was asking about an interest and not focusing on what I looked like or how horny they were feeling.
 Vancer
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 14
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:01:33 PM
First read their profile. This is important.
Now carefully go through it and record all the information they've taken the time to reveal about themselves in their profile.
Now carefully write an email asking questions already answered by their profile.
Spend no less than 30 minutes doing this.
Also make sure to never sound specific when referring to them. It gives the illusion of a form email. Very mysterious.
 LancsLad83
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 15
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Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:46:47 PM
I have tried commenting on peoples interests and things on thier profiles in a positive friendly, non creepy, way. My few messages were read, deleted and no response
 foufillefou
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 16
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:05:12 PM
I’m interested when:
-The message is not generic (it easily could have been sent to anyone)
-Typical English sentences/grammar used. (no text talk)
-The language used makes the sender seem like they have class. (No ‘hey baby’ etc..)
-The sender seems to be on the same mental / emotional wavelength as me.
-Funny or Charming is always good.

I like messages that are casual and friendly. If I’ve peeked the sender’s romantic interest, and they tell me in an intense way, it can be alarming.

I’m uncomfortable if messages tell me I’m beautiful and not a lot else. It says to me that they’re thinking only about physical attraction.

Even if you always have great messages they won’t necessarily always be answered. Depending on what’s happening in my life at the moment I may not answer messages I otherwise would answer.
 itsmyday
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 17
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:20:56 PM
There is no best way.. Do you generically approach women in the real world? No, you have to take an individual approach with each one, well no different here. We are all individuals with different feelings, likes, and dislikes. So pretty much you need to read the profile, think about what your gonna say, make sure that you are not inappropriate and that you are articulate.. Then my friend just go for it.. And yes you will get rejected, there is not one among us who puts themselves out there who does not get rejected no one is everyones type... but keep in mind there is somone for everyone.
Good Luck and Happy Fishing
 flyingiguana
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 18
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Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:02:24 PM
i always go with 'how's it hangin'
 fly0nthewall
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 19
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:32:14 PM
^^^ But what would you do if she answered that question literally? Do we have an "it" that hangs?
 ambriell
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 20
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:37:38 PM
Anytime you open with something that shows either A) a sense of humor or B) that you read our profile, we will more than likely respond.
 MP31971
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 21
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:41:12 PM

I have tried commenting on peoples interests and things on thier profiles in a positive friendly, non creepy, way. My few messages were read, deleted and no response
Been there...done that. Time for a beer!!
 MasterBart
Joined: 6/20/2004
Msg: 22
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Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/5/2008 1:26:30 AM
@ flyingiguana / FlyOnTheWall:

perhaps it would be better to ask "How are THEY hangin'..."

 Vancer
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 23
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:03:18 AM
At some point in my life, I heard the reply to 'how's it hanging', is 'long, loose and full of juice'.
Oh gawd. It was my sister whom I first heard say it.

Oh noes. I must now electroshock that out of my memory.
 nuttykitten
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 24
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:13:41 AM
it makes me laugh, when some guy sends a mssge,
as long as your arm,
that he has clearly stored on his computer, and just copys and pastes everytime, of corse telling me all about himself.
it really gets my back up.
it has even happend to me, that some guy send the same mssge twice.

i normally just say" hi, hows you? have you had a good day? what have you been up to?
or if there is something intresting or funny on their profile, i comment on that......

oooooooooops...have i dug a hole for myself here now?.......

if u get a "hi, hows you" mssge of me...it dosnt mean you are boring you know...lmao
 The Brunette Bombshell
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 25
Best way to open a conversation online
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:38:17 AM
Tell the lady you think she is gorgeous and you want to take her for a martini.

You iniate conversations with women online just like you would walking up to a woman on the street.
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