| Why do guys flirt with the "ugly" friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:48:05 AM | So here is my question: "Why do guys flirt with the "ugly" friend when they are interested in the "hot" friend?
That is the situation between my best friend and I. She is gorgeous and I am just normal looking but whenever we go out and meet guys, they flirt with me but then I soon get pushed to the side for her. Why do guys do this when they apparently have no interest in the "ugly" friend? | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:09:06 PM | They're using you as a bridge. Flirting with you allows him to sit with you and then make goo goo eyes
at your friend. Oh and you're not the ugly friend. Maybe the quiet one is closer to the truth.
O | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:09:16 PM | I guess to lower the****lock defenses as if you pay the "ugly" friend no mind and talk to the pretty one only, they'll probably get upset and will make it more difficult for the guy to talk to her.
Not saying it's right or wrong, just throwing something out there. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:17:01 PM | That's text book Mystery method pick up.
It's not about an "ugly friend" per se. Which I think is harsh way of thinking, and I am sorry to read that. You're not ugly.
It's about appeasing the group before singling out the target.
Lock the target.
Spread the net. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:21:34 PM | | Could be that YOU are the fun one. Or the one with the best personality. Or the one who reacted--maybe they tried to flirt with her and she's too shy? | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:24:40 PM | | I have been there ,so I know what you are talking about. There have been times when after the guy locked on to my beautiful friend he decided he liked me better. Seems I made him laugh more. No, I didn't date any of them. Flip flopping men make me dizzy. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:25:48 PM | That's text book Mystery method pick up.
Of course, as mentioned, it's a means to get acceptance from the group and make your way to the girl you're really interested.
But I'll go one step further, and say there's one added side-effect or benefit of talking to the ugly girl. When looking to pick up someone, the first few girls/groups you talk to at a club are just to get your confidence and game strong. If you mess things up, no big deal. The purpose is not primarily to get their number, only use them for practice. After you've had a few such conversations, it makes the next ones all that much easier because you feel almost invincible, and that's when you really start looking for the good-looking girls. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:45:26 PM | My guess is the guy lacks the self-respect, courage, or just plain balls to go after what he really wants. It's a backdoor ploy, and one that rarely works.
BTW, you are not the ugly friend. My guess is that you're the Real friend!
Take care. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 1:20:57 PM | i have seen this work, but it generally only works when it is unnecessary to begin with, as in, you are quite clearly the real female of interest's speed - and the less attractive friend knows this, the attractive friend knows this. the social dullard hugging the wall can see it unfolding from a distance and even he knows.
if however, you are somewhere in between the more attractive female, and less attractive one, if the prettier girl you really want is a good friend, she is not going to get in the way of her dumpy friend possibly scoring what for her is a catch - and for the prettier girl is just another offer.
There are some petty insecure type women who keep around friends who are uglier and will take offense if you go for the ugly friend and not them, and it will create a temporary, perverse attraction dynamic for you to move in on her with - but these are pretty poisonous women in general, i guess you can give this a try if you think it's the only way you can score a hottie. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 2:00:17 PM | | op: when people do this, it's because they are less intimidated by the "ugly" (lol just using the word for illustrative purposes, of course) friend and they see her as a way breaking into the circle which includes the "hot" friend they're really hoping to snag. it's just an "in" for the guy. think you could easily be the "hot" friend, btw. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:46:02 PM | the "wingman" usually will be the one to talk to the less attractive/quiet one, while his buddy goes for the hottie.
be thankful YOU aren't their prey. why be bothered over obvious douchebags? | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:16:17 PM | Men flirt with less attractive females in the hope that they will
(1) Tell the attractive one how nice we are! ~ promote us to the hottie
(2) Try to get close and on the good side of the hottie by appearing as caring.
But -- YOU ARE NOT UGLY.
You have to start viewing yourself as being unique and special. You will vibrate that essance out into the universe and you will soon see how other people will react being around you.
Stop calling yourself Ugly. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:16:53 PM | OMG they're onto us guys!!! They know about the wingman!!!!! 
A lot of times the wingman thing is meant to be a nice thing. Our friend wants to talk to your friend, but he doesn't want to walk up to the two of you and obviously pick your friend over you. That's why he has his trusty wingman come over with him. It lets him go after the girl he's interested in without feeling guilty for overlooking the other girl. Plus with my group of friends our wingmen are always fun and interesting to talk to.
Oh and OP, never, and I mean NEVER think of yourself as the ugly friend. Hell, a lot times the friend that is thought of as the "uglier" one of the bunch is WAYYYY more fun to be with, oh and just because you see yourself as being uglier than your friend doesn't mean we guys see you that way. Maybe you are the one getting targeted and your friend is catching the wingman. 
Happy fishing. | |
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| Over dressed may seem unapproachable...
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:27:57 PM | | Many times when out with friends I will see the dressed to the 9's girls approached by guys. However typically they seem like the over confident guys that take what they can from it. Similarly the girls that are less dramatically dressed depending on the place may be the one approached. Why? Girls don't like drama so why should guys either? If someone seems over the top in their appearance an initial impression maybe that this person comes with attitude and other traits we are not looking to get involved with. Perhaps they are just finding out more about yourself and being kind to the other person since they are in your group. The person can't just ignore them without being rude in some form. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 7:54:00 PM | the "wingman" usually will be the one to talk to the less attractive/quiet one, while his buddy goes for the hottie.
be thankful YOU aren't their prey. why be bothered over obvious douchebags?
You know women do the same thing . A guy can walk up to a girl and try to talk to her and she will push a guy away because his friend is better looking . Even tho the guy started talking to her is exactly what she wants in a guy | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:17:39 PM |
That is the situation between my best friend and I. She is gorgeous and I am just normal looking but whenever we go out and meet guys, they flirt with me but then I soon get pushed to the side for her. Why do guys do this when they apparently have no interest in the "ugly" friend?
This happens to me ALL the time as well. Out with a friend who is more text book "hottie". Guys talk and flirt with me for most the night.... then ask her for her phone number and ask if she will come home with them.
In my experience, in a week or two, they are calling me and asking to hang out, explaining they didn't find my friend all that interesting after all. (USually by that point I am over them and have flirted with another guy.... who goes home with my hot friend.... viscious cycle).
Anyway, what I am saying.... guys seems to remember the cute interesting ones...even after they've had the hot one. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:43:41 PM | | Because they know that if the friend doesn't like them, they aren't getting in. Women do it too, taking a hit for the team. However, if you are the ugly friend then we need to see who the hot friend is - because you're very cute. Don't play the 'best friend' - in your life you should be the leading lady always. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:59:53 PM | There is no defense of our shallowness here. I don't think it can be stated any other way that on a given day I am not totally sucked in by a pretty face. I can remember being completely enamored with Julia Roberts in some movie, I entertained thoughts of selling all $15 of my earthly possessions and moving to Southern California in pursuit of her. Fortunately, I stopped by the grocery store and noted while waiting in the check-out aisle that she had long since married and was expecting a child. Of course, the clerk that took my $15 for watermelon and bread was just as cute, and my fickleness was exposed again.
I guess to attempt an answer to your question, I would say that the more sensible part of me shows through when I am uncertain of myself. When I gain a little confidence, then maybe the egotistical side comes through. In the end, I go home and chastise myself for being so shallow, and review the conversation in my head. The recognition is usually that ugliness only existed in the form of unfair judgmental behavior on my part. | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:22:41 AM | Sometimes, they just talk to whoever looks like they'd be more up for a conversation? I talk to whoever looks like they'd want to have a conversation, regardless of what they look like. Sometimes, it's the perceived prettier girl, and other times, it's the perceived uglier girl.
I don't think this helps at all, though. Some guys will do it because it's part of their game, or whatever. I just like to talk, to whomever. If you're shy and quiet, though, it might be a challenge. Then I just might want to talk to you more, you know? : ) | |
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| Why do guys flirt with the ugly friend?
Posted: 7/4/2008 2:53:03 AM | I think the obvious answer here is that the guys use the less attractive of the two as a way to get closer to the more attractive girl.
But, there's always two sides to every story.
Typically, the more attractive girl is more flirtatious. Is your friend flirting with them? Are you?
If the guy approaches you and you are shy and quiet and your friend is sitting right there with you and she is more outgoing, it may seem to him that you are uninterested and she is.... Just a thought. | |
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