| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/3/2008 8:55:26 PM | Need some advice on a dating question, but first alot of background. Met a girl through work. (We work for 2 different companies but run into one another at many events.) Always had very good communications and seem to get along well. I asked if she wanted to get together & do something sometime. She said yes & give me her phone number.
Called the next day & talked for a few minutes. She said she would know what her schedule was like and get back to me monday at an event we both were to attend. Monday rolls around & she says this week is busy for her & asks for my cell number.
Now I know that's code for "I'm not interested." My question is why would a women give her real number to begin with? | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/3/2008 8:57:35 PM | | Because at the time she had some slight interest. People's opinions change. A fact of life. | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:39:58 PM | | Sometimes people confuse you and don't speak in code... they just try to mess you up by speaking the truth. | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:54:12 PM | | Why are you assuming she's speaking in code? She could just have a really busy week coming up but more time after that. Just because she isn't dropping everything doesn't mean she isn't interested. Give her your number and see what happens. | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:08:17 PM | If she gave you HER phone #, and then asks for yours, why is that some code? The girls said she'd get back to you with her schedule, and then does... Where is the code?
It seems like some people seem to think that others live by a universal code, when in reality that is VERY SELDOM the case.
Someone blocks you, not a code, universal no interest.
Someone says they have a boyfriend/girlfriend, no code, universal no interest.
Someone says they will call you and don't, could mean many things, lost number, lost interest, met someone else, no universal code.
Someone breaks a date, no universal code.
Someone gives the cold shoulder and looks like they will inflict serious pain if you go near them, no code, universal no interest.
It would be nice if people just said what the meant, and meant what they said, then people wouldn't have to try and guess if there are some coded messages...(shrugs) | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:19:41 PM | Unless that's a new code, it's one I'm unfamiliar with.
If I decided I was disinterested in a guy, the last thing I would do if he already had my number would be to ask for his.
I think maybe she just is genuinely busy but still quite interested.
She gave you her number, answered when you called, then asked for your number...think about it...
P.S. - See the other thread about women giving out their numbers, might help. | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:05:16 AM | | It's hard to say...she may really be busy and is interested...or she may not be and asking for your cell makes it seem like she is interested but she really isn't ....I know it does not make sense but unfortunately people play these games all the time...so I guess the ball is in her court now cuz she has your cell...if she doesn't call....move on. | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:49:46 PM | | Thank you all for the advice. As for my assuming she's speaking in code, it's just that female friends have noted in the past that they will ask for the guys' number when asked out to let him down easy. So perhaps that along with not being in the dating scene in a way & feeling like I'm starting at square one all over again has me a little unsure of things. | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:26:09 PM |
She said she would know what her schedule was like and get back to me monday at an event we both were to attend. Monday rolls around & she says this week is busy for her & asks for my cell number.
Pffft.
Wimminz are such b1tches sometimes... She should know by now that if a dude asks her out she should drop all her previous plans, cancel all the meetings, abandon her kids, and meet him at his convenience.
How dares she not to do it, but instead to ask for your number.
The lying, coniving b1tch... You shoyld have punched her in the face right then and there.
.... tongue in cheek and all that jazz...
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:33:12 PM | Don't listen to women... when it comes to this...
Ask a guy...
She wants more from you ...
Otherwise your a same ole chip off the block | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:04:36 PM | hhmm.... toughie. I've given my number before to guys I wasnt interested in.. sometimes I'd give it out, if he was a friend of a friend.. or if I thought we could run into each other in the future because we go to the same places/hang with the same ppl. In this case, you two would be bumping into each other frequently because of work.
For ME, I'm busy means... I dont WANT to make time 4 you. And if for some reason I would really be busy.. I'd make some time and let you know soon, not make you wait 2 weeks.... on the other hand., if she doesnt even have time for a date, will she have time for something more serious?? hhmm... think it over. | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:38:25 PM | I think its code for "I'm busy nest week, but if I get some time I'll call you".
Geezzzzzzz I love people who go looking for trouble before it even comes knocking..........
Relax...........if she calls she calls if not the world will not fall out from underneath you...... | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:48:14 PM | | You should not give up "e"...You'll find somebody is not about "mixed signals" and hopefully you'll find an good woman i can kind of relate to how your feeling, just been down that road myself did not turn out so well....So i wish you the best! | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/5/2008 1:08:07 AM | E1973, what would it hurt to give her your cellphone number and continue to live your life as normal.
Do you see it impossible to live your life right now without knowing if the two of you will ever go out? And is the possibility of you spending the rest of your life alone all riding on this woman's interest?
Don't get caught up in thinking of everything that could be, based on what someone else feels about you. You'll worry yourself into an early grave putting so much stock into every possibility. | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:01:13 AM | I totally agree with Vancer. Just take it easy. You gave her your phone number and now the ball is in her court, so to speak. Just wait awhile and see what she does.
She may really just have had a busy week and felt that it would be easier for her to call you when things settle down. Give her some time and see what she does.
Until then, just live your life. Don't get so caught up in what one person is doing. If she calls, great. If not, just chalk it up to her changing her mind. | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:44:06 AM | | That is not code for 'not interested.' That means she is going to call you, it is simple. A lady would not go through the trouble of taking your number if she was not going to actually call you and make plans with you. | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:52:32 AM | whoaw, this reminds me of some guy who comes to my workplace to fix something. "2 different companies, but run into one another"...granted he's the guy who fixes our camera. maybe you're him! hahahahahhaa...
anywho, we chatted a bit while he's working, he invited me for jitz and i passed that day. i gave him my number instead and told him to call me on other days and seriously, everytime he calls, i'm doing something after work. i'm a person on the go! literally, every day after my work, i either see the bf, my homegirl n the god daughter, i work on photography, i have a photography meeting, or some sort of extra training. or when i am at home, it's because i'm working on our church program (which is printed weekly). i honestly don't have time to sit at home and watch t.v. if i'm on the computer, it's because i'm mostly editing, and sidetracking to forums n what nots.
but ya....he calls me a lot and keeps asking me. i'm not "interested" in any way other than possibly learning how to play jitz because i have a man (and he knows this). so i'm saying, maybe the girl is just *that* busy? if she got some senses, she wouldn't drop her sched over a date. OR, if she's really interested, she'll make sure you fit in her schedule. that's how i do it with my man...i visit him *atleast* once a wk during the wkdays, and maybe once again on a wkend. from his part, after his work, he comes over after the end of his shift, but this is like at 2 am or something, just to sleep with me. and by that, i don't mean sex wise, but just to be with me at night, hold me close, and sleep time! | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:20:05 AM | | what mixed signl???....are you sure your not being insecure and paranoid....consider the possibility that she may be telling you the truth....that she is busy and will call you when she has time... | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:53:35 AM | I am a VERY busy person. I go to school, work, and write. If I was really interested in a guy, I will make time for him.
If it was me, I would just be straight and ask her out. If she dodges again, I would have my answer. She is just not into your or too busy for daitng and leave her alone.
A couple of years ago, I had a client like this. We had a vibe going and everything, but he could not be pinned down. I just left him alone. He obviously did not want to make time for me. He put me on his linkedin and other networks, but I just gave-up on him. | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/5/2008 3:08:39 PM | Did it ever occur to you that hey, maybe she IS genuinely busy and WILL get back to you when she's free, since after all, she did ask for your number in return?
Remember, just because a few men claim women are difficult to understand, doesn't mean every woman speaks in some "code"d language. A lot of us (get this!) mean what we say and say what we mean! | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:13:56 PM | Called the next day & talked for a few minutes. She said she would know what her schedule was like and get back to me monday at an event we both were to attend. Monday rolls around & she says this week is busy for her & asks for my cell number.
Now I know that's code for "I'm not interested." My question is why would a women give her real number to begin with?
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Gotta go with the others on this - Why do you assue she is speaking in code?
If she wasn't interested she'd either not give you her number or give a fake.
Give it a week and then see what happens. | |
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| Mixed signal?!?!?
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:20:02 PM | | I think she was telling the truth... Things come up and happen - you have to trust that... If she asked for your number, she'll call... be patient... | |
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