| Showing Some Mutual Respect....
Posted: 7/4/2008 1:36:01 AM | I can't believe at how badly posters treat each other on this forum. Specifically on the "Single Parents" threads.
What is your intention when replying to a thread?
Do you read and try to understand the OP's question?
Have you offered advice and similiar stories of support?
Is your opinion an automatic form of judgement?
What do you seek to gain out of replying to a thread?
More importantly....how can we show some respect for each other without being baited into a never ending arguement with each other at times?
I am not innocent of any of the above questions...but I am concieous of them.... | |
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| Showing Some Mutual Respect....
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:22:36 AM | Well done you 
I was so disgusted with one thread on here that I actually posted on it telling the people in question how awful I thought it was.
I have no idea how these posts manage to stay up on here. I frequently use the UK Forum and posts, even whole threads get removed quite regularly. These threads that get removed are usually quite innocent. Maybe an email to one of the moderators might help?
I think the main issue here is that the subject of being a single parent is quite a sensitive one. So comments, maybe how ever innocently made can be taken out of context.
On the other hand though there are people who seem to assume that if a woman has more than one child by more than one Dad is just some sort of drunken slapper. These attitudes disgust me. Along with the attitudes that absent fathers are all horrible scumbags. Every situation is different. You cannot judge someone by a few lines of text that they post on a forum. You have not lived their lives and have no idea what led them to their current situation.
My view, on any forum, has always been to try and offer advice and if I can't or disagree then just don't post. However, I have been "attacked" on some forums and when this happens will go back and defend myself. | |
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| Showing Some Mutual Respect....
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:23:51 AM |
Well done you
Ditto.
I think that too many times there are posts here that are meant to attack a person, or group of people rather than telling your story or offer your advice. I think there is nothing wrong with stating your opinion on the matter and disagreeing with the OP, or another poster, but too many times I see personal attacks or people who just want to bicker back and forth without offering anything solid to the conversation.
In saying that, I also feel that these forums are meant for everyone and no everybody is going to agree on things, especially here where we're talking about parenting, which is different in every home. No one is right and no one is wrong and every experience is different. However, the outcome is always the same. We want nothing but our children to be happy and healthy.
My view, on any forum, has always been to try and offer advice and if I can't or disagree then just don't post.
If I disagree with something I still post, why shouldn't I? However, I don't slam the other person with insults and post in a "I know you are, but what am I" manner. By disagreeing with a poster, your bringing other suggestions to the OP's question. I agree however, that the topic of single parenting can bring out alot of sensitive and "knee-jerk" reactions to questions, where people think that they have to defend themselves. I think if more people used some discretion and took a breath before posting that we wouldn't get so many posts attacking others.
I know that I can get hot-headed and I'm guilty of doing these things myself... but I'm working on it!  | |
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| Showing Some Mutual Respect....
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:58:07 AM | Everyone WILL have their own opinion, and not everyone will agree with it.
Like I tell people who get slammed on here, don't take it personal. Read everything posted, use what pertains to your situation, and then just let the rest of it go.
When I first started with the SP Forum 2 years ago, I was one of those hot-headed people. Hence, I got attacked a lot. Not by other parents, but by Non parents. It took me a long time to learn to weed through the negativity. Once I did that, there really was a lot of good advice. Not all worked for me.
The other thing I tell people who post here..
NEVER be afraid to post, either an OP, or a reply. You have no idea how many people, today, tomorrow, a year from now, will come here looking for help with a situation one of us has actually gone through. | |
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| Showing Some Mutual Respect....
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:50:11 AM | Some people enjoy being buttheads and don't really care how they make other people feel. They get off on it because really, if you want someone to actually pay attention to what you say, pissing them off or causing the defenses to go up is not going to work.
Some people feel so passionately about something that they also don't stop to think about the how of what they are saying, or they believe that a poster needs a good dose of reality in order to listen. The times when I may come across as harsh usually are prompted by an OP that is obviously listening to none of the thread responses. | |
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| Showing Some Mutual Respect....
Posted: 7/8/2008 1:03:35 PM | I'm new to the single parent forum. But I would suspect that it's the parenting issue.
Every child is different and everyone is different, so what works for one, might not work for another.
Yet, everyone considers themselves an expert.
Yeah, I would suspect very passionate posts from some people here, and very opinionated ones at that.
I guess you have to have a thick skin on this forum.
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| Showing Some Mutual Respect....
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:02:09 PM |
What is your intention when replying to a thread?
To make you think and laugh ... and if that fails, then to make others laugh.
Do you read and try to understand the OP's question?
Not even sure I read or understood your question
Have you offered advice and similiar stories of support?
Yes, and the advice there was just as bad as my advice here
Is your opinion an automatic form of judgement?
yes, or maybe no ....
What do you seek to gain out of replying to a thread?
my own satisfaction? or maybe just a chuckle
how can we show some respect for each other without being baited into a never ending arguement with each other at times
not sure it's possible ... I think we should argue about it some more | |
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| Showing Some Mutual Respect....
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:07:08 PM | | The ridiculous part is that a thread like this gets started about every 4 months... things settle down for a little bit (days... maybe a week), then it's all back to the same old crap. I know I've seen at least 5 or 6 threads like this in this forum.... But it's always the same twits who cause troubles, which unfortunately means that this too will fall upon deaf ears. | |
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