| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:47:40 AM | I am a rather flirty person. I love a nice, witty, verbal banter with some great smiles, head tilts, and eye twinkling throughout. I have even gone so far as to put my hand on his arm or touch his hand. Things like that. You know... flirting. No matter if it is just meeting him or have known him for a while... my level of flirtation all depends on how comfortable I am with a man.
...However, sometimes, my flirting has been confused for seduction. Some men confuse my flirting for asking them to hop into bed with me (believe me, if I want to have sex with a man, I will say so). Others back off terrified others will see.
So... Guys.... when a woman is flirting with you....
At what point do you stop seeing it as flirtation and start considering it seduction?
- Are you comfortable with a woman openly flirting with you?
- Do you think less of her for being so bold? | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:58:10 AM | | Im really interested in seeing how the gentlemen respond to this. Like you, depending on my level of comfort with a man, I tend to be flirtatious. I dont see it as a bad thing. Flirting lifts both individuals sense of self esteem and just plain feels good. How can feeling good about yourself, and making someone else feel good about themselves be wrong?? | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:46:40 AM | It just depends on the guy...
If he wants to jump your bones he'll consider it seduction pretty quick... and be very happy about it...
If he's happily married and not interested he might consider it seduction pretty quick and NOT be very happy about it...
It'll also depend on how well they know you and if they realize you're just horsing around.
Am I comfortable with it?
Fukin A! Bring it on.. We'll see who blushes first...
Do I think less of her?
Hell no! That takes some confidence... Confidence is some sexy chit... | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:55:48 AM | Totally Agree with Von Erik..
It totally depends on the guy.. Some might take it as friendly banter, others might read WAY to into it and you have found yourself some trouble.. | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:01:10 AM |
others might read WAY to into it
Okay... so where does the line come between seeing it as flirting and reading way too much into it?
Is it a smile? A touch? Body language? Could it just be because she is a girl talking to him? LOL! | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:06:57 AM | Like i said... It ALL depends on the guy...
Some guys you could touch/grab/kiss/whatever and they would simply take it as a friendly flirty banter..
Some guys you might talk to for 45 seconds and THEY believe you want to take them home and start a family...
ALL depends on the guy. | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:12:05 AM | Flirting ~ ah I love it. It is so fun to flirt and such a confidence booster when a girl flirts with you. Esp one that the guy feels attractive. I've been known to be flirted with and finally "get the courage" to ask a girl out that I've liked for some time because of the boost of confidence.
The barrier between flirting and seduction will vary between man to man. It will also have different factors into it. No one is "cut and dry" and there is also no one "general rule"
Best of luck to everyone  | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:14:35 AM | Everybody is different... LOL...
If you're wanting to avoid the trouble that comes AFTER you've crossed that line then you're going to have to be able to read them well enough to know for yourself when you've crossed the line...
By the time somebody TELLS you it's crossed... it's too late...
Unless you are wanting to advance to seduction then just keep your flirting light and friendly... if you think they are taking it the wrong way, just ask them... "You know I'm just fuking with ya, right?"
That might kill the Flirt Buzz for you but it's better than having someone you don't want to jump thinking that you do.
if you're flirting with the same people all the time then you should be able to tell how they are reacting... or at least THEY should be able to tell by now that you're just being a c*cktease... | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:21:17 AM |
if you're flirting with the same people all the time then you should be able to tell how they are reacting... or at least THEY should be able to tell by now that you're just being a c*cktease...
Hahahahaha..... the people who know me well enough to that point know I am not a c*cktease. Well, not in a bad way anyway. The ones I don't have sex with usually aren't interested in me sexually and like the bantering just the same. The others.... well... the flirting can go all night ;) | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:42:59 AM | OP: To me, flirting is verbal.
If you touch me, in any way, that's a sure sign you wanna jump my bones. | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:47:55 AM |
However, sometimes, my flirting has been confused for seduction. Some men confuse my flirting for asking them to hop into bed with me (believe me, if I want to have sex with a man, I will say so).
No one's a mind reader. Certain guys might actually have had women flirt in a certain manner and it might have eventually led to sex. Some guys might consider you too forward or might not want anything to do with it. It comes down to the fact that if you're around different people you're always going to end up with different reactions and experiences. | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:00:19 PM | It's the same to me.
I wouldn't "flirt" with anyone I didn't have any intention of getting into bed with at some point.
And no, I don't think less of her for being bold. I think less when it's a let down and she was just doing it "for fun". It takes the authenticity out of it.
believe me, if I want to have sex with a man, I will say so
You're rare. How would he know that? We have to work based on the actions of the majority. If you're acting in a unique way, you're automatically in the minority. | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/4/2008 3:34:06 PM | | OP, there is no rulebook for men. The only way to know is to watch how he responds to you. If he has a problem with it, you should be able to tell even without him telling you. However, if he tells you, then you know how he feels about it. | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/4/2008 3:53:00 PM | I have never seen flirting as seduction.
It's always been that they are after me lucky charms cereal.
I usually just click my heels and escape in some ridiculously grandiose manner. | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:27:57 AM | Lots of women flirt with me, i never consider it anything but flirting and being friendly, if she wants anything besides some flirty conversation she'll throw me on the floor and sit on me
OHHH, back to the question, well, each guy is different, some think you want sex if you even look at them, all the way to the other end of the spectrum, some think no one would ever want sex with them. Depends on how wolfish or sheepish the guy is, or just how comfortable he is with women | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/5/2008 1:14:07 PM | Everybody is different... LOL...
If you're wanting to avoid the trouble that comes AFTER you've crossed that line then you're going to have to be able to read them well enough to know for yourself when you've crossed the line...
By the time somebody TELLS you it's crossed... it's too late...
Unless you are wanting to advance to seduction then just keep your flirting light and friendly... if you think they are taking it the wrong way, just ask them... "You know I'm just fuking with ya, right?"
That might kill the Flirt Buzz for you but it's better than having someone you don't want to jump thinking that you do.
if you're flirting with the same people all the time then you should be able to tell how they are reacting... or at least THEY should be able to tell by now that you're just being a c*cktease...
*****************************************************************************
Good advice, here's another question. Where is the line between friendly flirting/joking with a guy and going to a point where your considered just a c@@ktease and not taking seriously even when you are seriously flirting? Especially if it's within a group of friends and one person.
I feel safe in this environment being friendly/flirty - I KNOW I am safe here so I am very comfortable being that way - it's not at all seduction/sleazy/coming on. Matter of fact we can joke and when any guy gets too aggressive I can easily say "Whoa baby - in your dreams honey but hope their nice ones!" I mean they all know it's nothing more then flirting. I can even flirt with my girlfriends men for that reason (this is NOT some swapping club in anyway or anything like that - not a dating/sex club ect) and my girlfriends are there laughing because they know I am no threat to their relationship. So I have this question.
If you were a guy that knew a girl who was a non-serious flirt with the group you hung out with, if she had friendly fun banter with everyone but never went further, would you be open to her approaching you (assuming of coure there was physical attraction as well on both parts) and how would you want her to do that? | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/5/2008 1:26:12 PM | Flirting starts to turn the corner for me when the touching begins.
It's not immediate - and certainly depends on a hundred other things - but tickling my body is different than tickling my brain,
and sends entirely different messages to entirely different places. | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:37:35 PM | for me, flirting is what you described..nothing like it...there are 2 clues for when i notice that line was crossed
1. she will ask me to take her back to my place and or
2. when she starts kissing me like there is no tomorrow
there are a few others but they are left for a different forum,,,lol | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:11:37 PM |
1. she will ask me to take her back to my place and or
Seeing a man blush when I flirt with him... very nice!
Seeing a man's eyes sparkle when I sit closer to him..... great!
Seeing him grin when I offer to buy him a drink.... Amazing!
Seeing the surprise on a man's face when I ask him back to your apartment... PRICELESS!!
Yes... I do flirt quite a bit... Like I said, I make sure a man KNOWS if I am wanting sex from him.
2. when she starts kissing me like there is no tomorrow
I haven't gotten the chance to do this in a while... | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:25:25 PM |
if she had friendly fun banter with everyone but never went further, would you be open to her approaching you
I rarely approach men. I usually only flirt like that with men I know (like guy friends) or men who have approached me.
Especially if it's within a group of friends and one person.
When I am there with a group, I am usually the "ugly" friend. Men (usually) only talk to me when trying to get to one or more of my friends. I have learned it's fine to flirt with these men pretty openly/bluntly and none take it serious. Why do I flirt with them anyway? Because it's fun. | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:48:15 PM | | If you're going to invade a person's personal zones, you are inviting him to invade yours. You may not have the same idea of how far you want to go, but don't act surprised if a guy can't read your mind. If a woman is touching me as we talk, I'm going to assume she wants more than friendship. If she doesn't, she should stick to just talking. | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:34:18 PM |
If you were a guy that knew a girl who was a non-serious flirt with the group you hung out with, if she had friendly fun banter with everyone but never went further, would you be open to her approaching you (assuming of coure there was physical attraction as well on both parts) and how would you want her to do that?
Test the waters... concentrate your flirting on him, step it up a notch or two and see how he reacts. Keep doing that as long as he reacts in a positive manner. Soon as you can get him alone tell him your serious. A lip lock will get that across pretty quick...
Mind you, my advice is always based on me... you know him, I don't... | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:14:40 PM |
Mind you, my advice is always based on me...
That's what I am looking for.... your advice based on you and how YOU would reacte. | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:54:46 PM |
That's what I am looking for.... your advice based on you and how YOU would reacte.
Are you flirting with me or trying to seduce me?
... it's hard to tell through text.... are you rubbing your breast against the keyboard? | |
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| Flirting or Seduction?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:23:26 AM |
Are you flirting with me or trying to seduce me?... it's hard to tell through text....
Just talking.... okay, maybe SOME flirting. But it's not so effective without the smiles.
are you rubbing your breast against the keyboard?
Oh, no no, I rarely need to use those as a weapon. They pretty much speak for themselves. | |
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