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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money[Thread Closed-Redundant]
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:09:17 PM | Is it just me, or are there way too many men on here griping that all women want is money? Seriously, who are you men dating? I actually know very few women who care that the man they date is rich. I have often dated men who made less than what I made. I would like to date a professional, someone with ambition. Not because I want him to take me to fine dinners, or exotic vacations, or buy me a big SUV. But because we should be on equal footing. If I go out with a man, we take turns paying. It's only fair.
The only women I know that date men for their money usually don't have a job or make very little money. Since they cannot do it themselves, they have to rely on men. These are usually the women who think of nothing but shopping all day and are VERY high maintenance.
If some of you men think that money is all women are after, then you are dating the wrong women. You are either only concerned with looks, or you date women without jobs or with low paying jobs. But please stop generalizing that we all want men with money. I, and most of my friends, make our own! | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:26:00 PM | While I sympathize and agree with you, the sad fact is the most lasting memories we have are the ones that hurt the most. Do I think women are just after money? No, but in a delusional way I can see why someone would think that.
The first,as mentioned, comes from experience. People always, ALWAYS tend to draw on the negative's of a relationship, moreso I've seen men than women. This contributes greatly to the belief that women are gold-diggers.
Second, as a guy who has hung out with "big, burly ****-magnets", our men friends are always, ALWAYS telling us that women are only after money. They practically pound it into others heads and if anyone has gotten into a discussion with someone like this, you'll understand there is no talking him out it. In short, the ideology of greedy women is a peer issue. Men relate to whom else more than others? Other men. And those men are going to want to keep in social standings with their friends, even if they have reasonable doubt. They're not sure that what they're hearing is true, but when a bad relationship happens to them...guess who's fault it is? See #1 and #3 for references to that.
Thirdly, we as a human species not only want to focus on negative aspects of bad relationships so badly, when a relationship goes wrong for little to no apparent reason, they'll think of any excuse to convince them that it's not their fault. "She was sleeping around", "I was her rebound guy", "The **** was crazy", "She was only after my money." Most guys AND women will find any excuse to blame the other party for the failed relationship.
Lastly, all these so-called "life-experiences" and "eye-openers" leads to the thing I hate most...generalization. Generalization is categorizing a group, mass, or populace of individuals based on only a couple similarities. Generalization leads to stereotypes, and thus you have found the cause of why some men think that. People don't realize there is only one step between generalization and racism, sexism, and theism (is that the correct word?), and it pisses me off whe someone says things along those lines like "All women," or "All black/white/asian/arab people," or "All Muslims,".
It's easier for people to see the bad in others, it means they don't have to look at their own fault. It's delusional to see only the good in people, it means they don't want to see the truth. It's difficult to see people for who they really are...people. Because the truth is difficult, complicated, confusing, and it fucking sucks. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:38:26 PM | | I'm glad to read this thread to better understnd the feeling that I've gotten from some men. You know, it makes me appreciate even more when a man just grabs the check and pays for things - it's like he's not jaded and expecting the worst. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:52:07 PM | You have to consider the source.
This is a free service. It is going to attract cheap people, both men and women.
The men here who claim every woman is a gold digger they are either bitter and jaded or the only "date" they ever get is to go on the forums and bash women. That is as close as they get from a date.
Anybody who goes on a rant like "who pays for the date" or "who buys the drinks" has to be on a tight budget therefore are not going to be here because they have the looks and the money, they are usually, not everybody but most are lacking one or the other or both.
Only by third world standarts, where people don't have enough money for food, a woman can be considered a "gold digger" when she gets a "free" (I'm using this term losely)dinner. This is america, last time I checked. Here gold diggers get diamonds, furs and cars.
Back to POF, you get a free dinner , meaning you never want to see that guy again for whatever reasons and you didn't put out, that earns you the title ,you are a gold digger!
So, most guys, at least the ones who go on the forums, ****ing and mouning, about spending $30.00 on a dinner and then she never calls back, are either on a really tight budget or they ar just cheap. Of course they are going to be the ones saying women only want men for their money.
Never mind they are not lookers to start with, not nice and have nothing to offer but whinning, so nobody sticks around or gives them a second date, but that is besides the point to them.
I have always pay my way and have two jobs that pay well. I can even imagine ****ing about a $60.00 meal, that is why I work so don't have to worry about things like that and I'm a woman. I find it funny when a white or black american male mentions how expensive the drink sare , considering men, if they have jobs, make a lot more than most women I know. Same position I have, male person, makes at least 20% than I and still hear them complain. Maybe is just the way they were raised by a whinner Dad.
You are NOT going to get your point across here.
Cheap guys are never going to get they are cheap.They just want to blame it on the women. They usually the ones who have no luck getting the women to like them.
But good luck, hope you do.
Best wishes
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:08:48 PM | | Bit of a catch 22, eh? I spent some time in Asia and was both bewildered and disillusioned by western men who came there. Basically, in many parts of Asia/South East Asia, men come from the west in search of a woman for sale - the "mail order" bride - there are even tours set up for this purpose - shop for your wife! I "interviewed" some of these men, and they claimed that they had looked for a "woman" back home but couldn't find what they were looking for, they longed for that dependency set-up their fathers had. Independent woman frightened them, they wanted a woman to worship them and be beholden. The other side of the coin, was these women who wanted a better life for themselves and their children - a passport to a western land was the ticket! And if it meant "pretending" to care for these men (which they could grow to love) then why not. The way I see it both sides got what they sought, so I am not judging. Just thought it was relevant to the thread. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:31:00 PM | I have been baffled by this lately as well.
I have been out where the man figured I was NOT interested in him because I offered to pay.
I have been out where the man figured I was just out to get a free meal because I didn't offer to pay.
I cannot figure it out.
I have chatted with a couple men who bragged about their house/car/income/investments/etc. To them I have to ask... if you aren't looking for a gold-digger...why are you using gold-digger bait? Are these same men who complain about women only wanting their money also the same ones advertising their "wealth" ... does that mean that this is what they believe they need to put out front to interest a woman? If that is the case.. how can they then be surprised by the dates they get?
tinkerbell... I know a fellow who has gone to Asia and gotten a wife that way. After a couple years, she insisted that her family be brought over and they now all live with them too. He feels that he was dupped. To keep peace with his wife he is living with all his in-laws!
I just get really frustrated with this "women are all gold diggers".
I don't want or need a free dinner. I don't ever spend time with a man because of his income or investments. And.. I don't know any women who do. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:33:33 PM |
I would like to date a professional, someone with ambition. Not because I want him to take me to fine dinners, or exotic vacations, or buy me a big SUV. But because we should be on equal footing.
You just stated here that you are after someone with money. It's clear as day. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:01:57 PM | But she wrote it at night.
What drives me crazy is how women are obsessing about some one thing some men do, as if telling the men to stop ever does any good. We should all pool our money and then divide it back equally. That would end the squabble. | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 11 | |
| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:13:17 PM | Huh????? Women have money? Dang...guess when they were showing Dirty Rotten Scoundrels I shouldn't have cut class.
Truth is OPie...I hear a LOT more women posturing about protecting themselves and their assets and their retirement. It's like it's the battle hymn for 60% of the women I've met including a couple who wouldn't agree to meet until they ran a full credit check on me but I wasn't afforded that privilege with them. Sorry, no woman is that fantastic that I'm going to hand over my testicles...especially before we even meet.
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:26:07 PM | People, people, people, the war is over.... let's makes peace! Let's accept.. "Damned if ya' do. damned if ya' dont"... and move on.
I'll be the first to admit I have no idea what the new rules are. I used to like sharing the cost of dinners, trips, etc., with boyfriends and my common law spouse. And basically, how it worked was, we shared cost proportionate to what we earned, this seemed fair. And, I'll admit until recently I basically was "in" relationships, so didn't "date" endlessly. Anyway, it seems the current rules of dating have been influenced by a foolish book from the 90s called "The Rules" (I think, could be late 80s). Anyway, this book told women they had to play hard to get, pretend to be what the man was looking for until ya' hooked him, never pay for anything, never return calls, etc... All pretty silly stuff, but many woman (of my age) live by it today. Granted some of the "rules" were sensible, and were basically about self respect/common sense. For me it just confused an already confusing transformation in society.
It is nice to be treated, but at the same time, I don't like to feel indebted to someone (as in - "I bought you dinner, you owe me a role in the hay."... I'd rather split the bill... lol. ) | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 13 | |
| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:32:39 PM | And don't forget the rule of asking out...if I ask you to join me for dinner...and you accept, it's on me. Doesn't matter whether I cook it, make reservations for it, or take you to Mom's, I've got it...because I asked you to join me.
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~Kyn~
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Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 14 | |
| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:45:24 PM | Is it just me, or are there way too many men on here griping that all women want is money? Seriously, who are you men dating?
Here's my observation on the whole thing...
...the men that tend to do this (AND there are women that do it too)...
...are the ones bignoting themselves in threads eg. women are goldiggers and attracted to my money because I wear a Rolex...like cah-mon WHO would know if you're even wearing a Rolex unless they got up close and looked at it after you've waved it in their face...
Here's another one... in their photos displaying overpriced sportscars, houses etc...showcasing and discussing one of four fantastic island getaways they've been on in the last 12 mths...
...or just stupidly publically displaying their wealth verbally within their profile.
IF you display these characteristics and use them as your plumage to attract a mate...you will get exactly the type of women who are attracted to that.
Its not rocket science. If you dont do it...it wont happen.
IME people with real money ie. old family money or they've worked damn hard for it and have copious amounts of it as opposed to living off credit...dont flaunt their wealth. Infact these people rarely ever discuss money because its not the done thing.
I have the exact same zero sympathy philosophy for that women that dress & behave like less than ladies and then complain men only want them for sex. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:56:48 PM | Is it just me, or are there way too many men on here griping that all women want is money? Seriously, who are you men dating? I actually know very few women who care that the man they date is rich. I have often dated men who made less than what I made. I would like to date a professional, someone with ambition. Not because I want him to take me to fine dinners, or exotic vacations, or buy me a big SUV. But because we should be on equal footing. If I go out with a man, we take turns paying. It's only fair.
This post is exactly what we're talking about. Give me a break; just because you are not a professional doesnt mean you dont have ambition. In my opinion that was one of the most ignorant things I've heard in a long time. Nice try but we're not buying it. You want the GQ looking guy with the armani suits so you can impress. Save it.
I know tons of women that have money and they are beyond VERY high maintenance. Their demands are legendary. Why do you think hollywood beauties can't keep men? They are called diva's. They are beyond high maintenance. Halle Barry and Jennifer Aniston's antics are legendary.
Women are now as shallow as men. Its about getting a guy with either looks or money so they can prance them around like they are trophies so they can brag to their friends and family. There are very few rich men that have problems with women.
Again, this post proves our point. You can be driven crazy if you want to; look at the facts. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:08:30 AM |  good on u eazk, a gentleman! i was asked out 4 coffe & accepted then got a call asking if he could change that 2 dinner, his shout he stated! i accepted, with thanks, we had a great time getting 2 know each other 4 over 2 hrs, he paid, i hugged him & told him how much i appreciated it.... next time i will offer 2 pay... no problem. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:14:14 AM |
IME people with real money ie. old family money or they've worked damn hard for it and have copious amounts of it as opposed to living off credit...dont flaunt their wealth. Infact these people rarely ever discuss money because its not the done thing.
Couldnt agree more....................I never heard money discussed as much as with this generation...............so one would wonder................do they really have any?????????
People with "true wealth" not only dont discuss it.......its classless.............they dont think about it...........
I think its the ones that got burned through a divorce and feel "taken" by the ex and now to them EVERY woman/man wants what they have since accquired..........they dont realize that being married is a partnership and the partnership extends into divorce....
Look if you cant afford a 50 dollar dinner without complaining the woman/man is a gold digger..........you shouldnt be dating..........
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:39:33 AM | Hey OP agree with you on the Opening Post.
But have found a lot of men are after women for money and other freebies  
Msg: 18 - you sound like you got it right, well said.
But it is a good heads up for a man, when the woman grabs the bill pays it and leaves. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:28:47 AM | who cares about money ? Just give me a good ole boy on Welfare. At least we'll not have to worry bout food, or price of heating our homes, which can also be pretty
inexpensive on our part. due to all the govt help we'll receive. we'll even be able to
go to the doctors, often, to get every part we have checked out ; and not have to worry about how to pay for it. we might have a little problem with the cost of gasoline, though. Because with all the free time on our hands, not having to work like most other people do; we might like to cruise around. Oh well, hopefully our kind govt, will come up with another freebie there too. I know there's many deserving people in the
system; this is not about them at all. This is about the majority, Including Myself and
my boy, when I find him. Hey he could be on here; yeah !! this is free.  | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:35:34 AM | | Theres an old saying...if you marry a man for money youll earn every cent...same goes for women...money doesnt mean a thing when you have to get along with your spouse on a daily basis,. that is where the love comes in | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:29:16 AM | As long as we're generalizing here, let's go ahead and say that all men want is sex.
So, women want money, men want sex. Do the math. That makes all women what exactly?
Not a very nice path to go down!
Just stop it with the generalizations. If you're a man that keeps ending up with gold diggers, there's something flawed in your dating criteria. Take some time to re-evaluate what you're looking for and give it another shot. Fix it; don't just sit here and whine that all of the shallow materialistic girls you've been dating are after your money. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:22:53 AM | | I am going to have to go along with Kyn on this one. There are a lot of men that publically display their wealth. Men who buy the fancy sports cars in hopes of attracting women. I am not a materialistic person, once you have had about ten of everything material things get old. It is all about the TIME spent with a person. Meet for coffee for the first date/meeting. It is a better way to see if that is the person you want to move forward with. It is much better listening to someone talk about what they have done to help others than what they have done for themselves...and I do not mean this in a financial way. Most women want to work with a man to achieve common goals together not take what they did not earn. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:55:27 AM | The only place that I have been seeing this issue is here, I don't encounter this in everyday life or in my own dating experiences. In fact I have found quite a few men not worried at all about "showing off" what they have, so I am not buying any of it.
If such a vast majority of men were so afraid of being taken advantage of and being "taken" by gold-diggers than why do so many that I meet volunteer how they have a great job, two cars, a motorcycle, house in a gated sub division and a beach house. I have sat there at times wondering if they brought their invoices and statements to prove it.
Whoopdie do, all I want to know is can you hold a conversation that doesn't include the words video games, porn or WWE Smack down. Are you affectionate other than when you are horny, can you kiss without giving us both a bath and can you %%^ longer than 2 minutes? I haven't met a man yet that could do any of that because he held a certain job, drove a certain car or had a bigger sized house. | |
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| About to drive me crazy....all women are not after your money
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:20:56 AM | I used to only date for money until one day the cops busted in and told me that the correct term was prostitution... sigh it just hasn't been the same after that.
Most people wouldn't mind dating a wealthy person gasp!!SURPRISE, the only concern is where it falls on everyone's lists. For some people old, wrinkly and wealthy is a good option, for others scumbag, cheater, and wealthy works fine, and for some young, handsome, charming and wealthy is the good choice. Now start knocking stuff off, old, wrinkly and poor is not an option, and young, handsome, charming and poor just sounds like you're still making out capeesh, now  . | |
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